2011: Year in Review

Well, 2011 is up. Die Zeit ist um.  And I don't even know what to say about it, because I don't know how I feel about it. Am I glad for the notion of a fresh start, after a particularly trying season?  Or am I sad to let go of what will always be a landmark year for our family?  I don't know.  This year has been... a lot.

The year of Charlotte. Our sweet youngest child, the tiny little girl who makes our family feel complete. She's the most important thing that happened this year, by far.

The year of  the house that love built. Our new home was more than just a simple purchase and bystander renovation. It was a hot mess of a sales contract, a months-long rebuilding project, seven straight weekends of diy painting, sixty-seven sample paints on the house walls, and three tanker trucks full of water to fill the pool. It was a bonding time and a family time and a friend time and a laughing time and a crying time. Labor of love indeed.

The year of good marriage.  Mark and I have made no secret of the fact that we work really hard at our marriage, and have no qualms admitting that we've been through several rounds of marriage counseling (which have been extremely beneficial) over the years. And while this year did have a few low relationship moments, they were very few. Everything felt really good with us throughout the renovation, the pregnancy, the sale of our old house, and most parenting moments, especially Charlotte's labor and delivery and her newborn stage. We have been on the same page and seem in a good groove of supporting each other in the right kinds of ways. It's not perfect and it never will be, and I know harder years will come again, but for now I have to say I'm kinda proud of us. It's been a high-ranking marriage year, for sure. I feel very in love, and count it as nothing short of a small miracle to have Marky in my life, as a wonderful father and husband. Oh and I'm totally, officially and finally, a good wife (ahem). Let's just say we're both pretty danged happy with each other. ;-)

The year of ppd. My official blog admission: after Charlotte was born I was diagnosed with post-partum depression. I don't want to go into a lot of detail, although maybe in later braver months, I will. All I'm brave enough to say right now is that it was unexpected and severe. I believe I will heal, but mental illness has probably changed me forever. And sadly it will be a huge marker, much bigger than this short blurb indicates, of how I remember this year.

The year of the friend cars. I never thought I would be the mom who buys into character-licensed stuff, but the friend cars, they got me. We watch them, we talk about them, we wear their shirts and stick their stickers and read about them. We love them, and shamelessly so. Haters gonna hate, but Finn McMissile is sexy and he knows it.

The year of Another Nathan. Remember when Mark and I functioned here in Raleigh without our wonderful friend Another Nathan? No? Yeah us either. He's been a good friend to us for several years now, but all three of us have bonded so much this year that it's officially a best friend situation. Besides the stuff the internet already knows, like helping with the renovation and painting, being an awesome set of third hands to help with the kids, encouraging Mark and doing their ASP trips together, this year has been marked by a hundred fun nights of grilling and swimming and movies and red wine and cookies. It seems he's truly leaning on us for support in his home away from home, while also being just about the most amazing listener on the planet. We're all emotionally connected more than even just a year ago. We're honored to be his Raleigh family.

The year of the minivan. And then there were five.  Three in car seats.  Which means I let go of a last vestige of mobile professional Erin, and made the full transition to minivan mom. I can't remember now why I resisted so long. I love that our family is big enough to fill up a van.  I love that our road trips  now involve movies.  I love that we have three rows of dancing passengers when we're out running errands on a sunny day. Um, my life as a minivan mom is rockin awesome.

It was the best of times and the worst of times and now it's over. How I feel about that doesn't matter as much as embracing what's to come next, and hanging on for dear life.  Okay 2012, bring it.