2011: Year in Review

Well, 2011 is up. Die Zeit ist um.  And I don't even know what to say about it, because I don't know how I feel about it. Am I glad for the notion of a fresh start, after a particularly trying season?  Or am I sad to let go of what will always be a landmark year for our family?  I don't know.  This year has been... a lot.

The year of Charlotte. Our sweet youngest child, the tiny little girl who makes our family feel complete. She's the most important thing that happened this year, by far.

The year of  the house that love built. Our new home was more than just a simple purchase and bystander renovation. It was a hot mess of a sales contract, a months-long rebuilding project, seven straight weekends of diy painting, sixty-seven sample paints on the house walls, and three tanker trucks full of water to fill the pool. It was a bonding time and a family time and a friend time and a laughing time and a crying time. Labor of love indeed.

The year of good marriage.  Mark and I have made no secret of the fact that we work really hard at our marriage, and have no qualms admitting that we've been through several rounds of marriage counseling (which have been extremely beneficial) over the years. And while this year did have a few low relationship moments, they were very few. Everything felt really good with us throughout the renovation, the pregnancy, the sale of our old house, and most parenting moments, especially Charlotte's labor and delivery and her newborn stage. We have been on the same page and seem in a good groove of supporting each other in the right kinds of ways. It's not perfect and it never will be, and I know harder years will come again, but for now I have to say I'm kinda proud of us. It's been a high-ranking marriage year, for sure. I feel very in love, and count it as nothing short of a small miracle to have Marky in my life, as a wonderful father and husband. Oh and I'm totally, officially and finally, a good wife (ahem). Let's just say we're both pretty danged happy with each other. ;-)

The year of ppd. My official blog admission: after Charlotte was born I was diagnosed with post-partum depression. I don't want to go into a lot of detail, although maybe in later braver months, I will. All I'm brave enough to say right now is that it was unexpected and severe. I believe I will heal, but mental illness has probably changed me forever. And sadly it will be a huge marker, much bigger than this short blurb indicates, of how I remember this year.

The year of the friend cars. I never thought I would be the mom who buys into character-licensed stuff, but the friend cars, they got me. We watch them, we talk about them, we wear their shirts and stick their stickers and read about them. We love them, and shamelessly so. Haters gonna hate, but Finn McMissile is sexy and he knows it.

The year of Another Nathan. Remember when Mark and I functioned here in Raleigh without our wonderful friend Another Nathan? No? Yeah us either. He's been a good friend to us for several years now, but all three of us have bonded so much this year that it's officially a best friend situation. Besides the stuff the internet already knows, like helping with the renovation and painting, being an awesome set of third hands to help with the kids, encouraging Mark and doing their ASP trips together, this year has been marked by a hundred fun nights of grilling and swimming and movies and red wine and cookies. It seems he's truly leaning on us for support in his home away from home, while also being just about the most amazing listener on the planet. We're all emotionally connected more than even just a year ago. We're honored to be his Raleigh family.

The year of the minivan. And then there were five.  Three in car seats.  Which means I let go of a last vestige of mobile professional Erin, and made the full transition to minivan mom. I can't remember now why I resisted so long. I love that our family is big enough to fill up a van.  I love that our road trips  now involve movies.  I love that we have three rows of dancing passengers when we're out running errands on a sunny day. Um, my life as a minivan mom is rockin awesome.

It was the best of times and the worst of times and now it's over. How I feel about that doesn't matter as much as embracing what's to come next, and hanging on for dear life.  Okay 2012, bring it.

Sunglasses in Winter, Duh Mom

My two budding fashionistas have suddenly decided, here in the dim of winter, that they need to wear sunglasses.  All the time.  On every car trip. Even when the shades are up in the car and it's not that bright.

I don't mind, really, but they frequently need help getting the arms on over their ears. And they frequently need help with this after I have started driving. (There is lots of eye rolling from the front of the car.)

And when I keep asking why the sudden interest, I get brilliant answers like:

- they match this shirt (Nathan)
- sungasses, yeah! (Anneliese)
- it's good to wear them (Nathan)
- sungasses do it self! (Anneliese)
- mommy, I just like to wear them (Nathan)
- SUNGASSES, YEEEEAH! (Anneliese)

*sigh*

Whatever. It makes them happy.

Your daily Nathan, and daily Anneliese: rockin the shades

And it is, after all, a cute fashion choice.  They're not wrong about that.

Big Brother Math

Two sleeping parents
+ one up-early baby
+ one helpful big brother =

One million toys.

Your daily Charlotte: "But she needed to play with something!"

Don't cringe at the mess. Smile because he amused his sister safely and quietly and didn't wake us up.

Unquestionable win.

Christmas with Relatives

What's Christmas without a healthy handful of extended family gatherings, right?

Charlotte bonding with Grandma

Uncle John, cousin Liam, and Nathan with his new apron

Great-Grandpa soothes Charlotte the Christmas Elf

Reading books with Grandpa.  Always a win.

Way to go, Uncle John!

Marmie with Liam and Charlotte, the first-Christmas grandbabies!

This collection of pictures is presented as the drama-free version of our family gatherings. Just kidding, it was less chaotic than it looks.  Just kidding, it doesn't look that chaotic, so it was actually more chaotic than it looks.  But not too much drama.  Just kidding, any drama is too much drama but it's unavoidable. Just kidding, it's avoidable but only if you're robots. Just kidding, even robots have drama. Just kidding, I know nothing about robots or their drama. Just kidding, I do, but what I meant to say is Christmas was fine and wonderful and easy. Just kidding, it was fine and wonderful but not easy. Okay I'm done now. Just kidding. No just kidding, I'm really done.

Relatives make me want to say weird snl-related things.  Anyway, merry merry from our people!

Merry Christmas!

Our family had a sweet Christmas at home, made even sweeter by the fact that it was Charlotte's first, and our first in our new home.

We spent Christmas Eve and Christmas day in worship, and playtime, and naptime, and giving each other presents. I don't know if it's because I finally feel like my family is complete, or just that all the stars happened to align this year, but it's the first Christmas in my adult life that even came close to capturing the wonder of the Christmases I remember as a child. It was lovely and simple and except for ruining the roast beast (which resulted in a Christmas dinner of chinese takeout), it was the Christmas I've been craving for more than fifteen years.

Santa came! Train tracks for Nathan, a dress-up bin for Anneliese, and foam blocks for Charlotte.

New robes for the big kids.  Anneliese calls hers a robot. Wear it my robot pees! Awesome.

Charlotte's first Christmas...

Merry Christmas from our family to yours!

Awkward Sibling Pic, v4.0

Today's awkward sibling photo is brought to you by bathtime, lest any of you accuse us of never bathing our children. See, bathtime totally happens. And we take pictures. Sometimes even for reasons less important than the upcoming celebration of the lord's incarnation. Like, to commemorate Charlotte's whopping second bath. (For a completely hypothetical example. Ahem.)

So what's the best worst part of this picture?
A- Nathan's fake smile
B- Anneliese's hair, so dirty her pigtails stay in place even when the elastic is out
C- Charlotte, either obsessed with her belly button, or weak in the neck, or being a drama queen who's holding out for an amendment to the nudity clause in her modeling contract

If you guessed C, then ding ding ding you are correct!

Charlotte Claire: making family photos awkward since 2011.

So I Joined a Gym

I haven't gone into painful detail here on the interwebz, but it hasn't been a top secret fact that the last few months haven't been my awesomest.

One thing I decided to do a few months ago was was join a gym. There's one near my house that has childcare and a pool* and it only took the tiniest amount of prodding** to get me on board. For way cheaper than an hourly sitter, I could get lots and lots of mommy breaktime while doing something healthy to boot. Also the exercise high sounded pretty good. (Or a sauna relaxation high. Or just a shower in peace. Whatevs.)

Cute new shoes added to my workout motivation.  (I mean duh.)

Now a proud member of the orange shoelace club!

And I have this to say about the gym: I love it.

I'm not doing anything fancy, just the elliptical, weight machines, and an occasional group class. Only about an hour or so. It's been almost two months, and I've barely missed a day. (That's how you know I like it.)  It's alone time, and I'm doing something that's just for me. It just feels healthy on all kinds of levels.

Plus.  Again with the cute shoes.

*I definitely didn't tell the gym that I mostly wanted the pool so I could cry in private underwater. Oh and that I had no fitness goals, I just wanted to feel better. And they probably didn't look at me like a basket case. Nope. Not that crazy.

**Thanks, Another Nathan.

Charlotte and Whit

My good friend Merritt and I have joked about Anneliese being a good match for her son Finn (whose grandparents took them on their first "date" last year), but now it looks like we have another shot at marrying a daughter off to a Shumate:

Meet Whit.

Whit, a few weeks old, November 2011

He's about the same age as Charlotte. And is clearly her soul mate.

Charlotte, a few weeks old, August 2011

Yep.  They even have the same swing.

(And matching slacker no-longer-rookie moms who would never wake a sleeping baby, even in this position, for such tomfoolery as buckling them into the swing.  Pssssht.)

Hey Charlotte and Whit, I promise y'all can totally hang out someday!  Maybe someday soon!

Meeting Santa

Our kids all got to meet Santa at Mark's work Christmas dinner! He makes an appearance every year, with a small gift for each kid there. They all sit on the floor and he calls for them by name when it's their turn to get a present. (Very little house on the prairie, no?)

It was Charlotte's first time seeing Santa, and she did great. Meaning, she was completely clueless and then fussed a little. Santa brought her a book about Jesus. She wasn't thrilled about the incarnation in board book form. We'll work on that.

Nathan was super nervous (you'll remember his Santa terror from last year) and had spent the weeks beforehand avoiding Santa wherever possible, but on this night he put his brave face on and talked to him about the train tracks he was longing for, and also where the sleigh was parked. So proud of him for doing something social, even when he was nervous!  That is a very big deal for him. (And he was pretty excited that Santa brought him two new friend cars.)

And then there was Anneliese.  Oh, Anneliese.

She spent most of the time sitting in my lap looking scared. And then when he called her name, she went to get the present, but frantically backtracked when Mark offered to lift her into his lap. She took the present, said thank you through her tears, and then fled the scene, sobbing.

(Everyone laughed.  We had That Kid.)

She got some bright neon socks which she does like, but mostly she was happy to climb back into my lap and eat her candy cane.

They each need a t-shirt that says I Survived Santa 2011, right?

What Child is This? (No seriously.)

Nathan's preschool class had their Christmas party last week, and I was one of the parents in charge of executing the celebration. The other two parents were my kind of preschool parents -- skip the weeks of planning, do simple things like read the nativity story and do a craft that doubles as a snack. Easy. Done and done.

Except.

One of the parents is an actor. And what reading of the nativity story wouldn't be cooler with people role-playing as the holy family, complete with costumes and a question/answer session? (Questions I would never ask.)

So guess who got talked into being the mother mild? (Babe in a manger included!)

This was the final of *many* wardrobe options. Like whoa.

And that's the story of how Charlotte made her acting debut as the baby Jesus.

My Girls

Who's the fairest of them all?

(Or is fairest not the right word?...)

My Boys

I love this picture, and both dudes in it, and that they also happen to be my two favorite snugglers (when they're not busy hugging each other).

Your daily Nathan: happy with Daddy

Nothing much, just an easy moment at home. We're thrilled when it happens!

Awkward Sibling Pic, v3.0

Today's awkward sibling moment brought you to by Another Nathan. I was briefly excited and proud when I saw he had managed to get a picture with all three kids looking at the camera (no small miracle). 

But then I looked closer.

Is one of Anneliese's pigtails standing up on its own? Is Nathan flipping us off? Is Charlotte crazy-happy or crazy-angry or just drunk with the power of world domination? What does it all mean???

(I can totally do a Christmas letter full of just these awkward little treasures, right?  Say okay mommy.)

Charlotte at Four Months

Charlotte is four months old! And whoa dang, folks.  She has definitely turned a corner in the last few weeks.  My hunch last  month that the colic had passed has indeed proven true, and she has almost become... (dare I say it?) ... the easy one.

I KNOW RIGHT.

She's babbly, giggly, and I think the most flexible out of all three kids. Her nap schedule is erratic, but mostly that's because she's a poor third child whose schedule revolves around what everyone else is doing.  She'll nap on the go if she needs to, and if I have to disrupt her sleep for some reason, she's okay with that too.  Who knew.

Charlotte had a couple of major milestones over the last month.  She got her first tooth (already?! freak.) (who said that? not me) and perfected the art of rolling over. Oh and both of those things happened on the same day. Yeah.

you roll, girl!

She's growing great too. Weighed in at 13.5 pounds (50th percentile) and just over 25 inches (90th percentile, tall like her sister!) so she's holding her curve on both fronts.  I guess we could start solids whenever we feel ready, but (in case I haven't mentioned it once or a million times), I hate the baby food stage and am content to sit here in my easy world of nursing for a few months longer.  Unless her weight drops off and she starts needing extra calories, in which case we'll for sure go ahead and start her.

Mostly Charlotte is just a sweet friendly social little girl.  Far more social than Nathan or Anneliese were at this age anyway.  She's quick to make eye contact and lock gazes with anyone* who's talking to her, and she's such an easy grinner. I'm not sure who convinced her over the last few weeks to be so happy about life, but I'll take it.

{Okay I just re-read what I wrote and I totally sound like one of those annoying moms who writes blog posts about how her baby is annoyingly perfect and even the crappy stuff is actually kind of sweet and blah blah so let me say now: I am not that mom, and she is not that baby.  She's doing way better, but she still wakes up twiceish a night, she still manages to make sure I'm covered in spitup anytime I need to go anywhere, and she has a knack for yelling every time I most would like an adult conversation (kinda her thing). Make no mistake: she ain't perfect, and I rarely handle the frustrating moments well.  Okay I just needed to be honest about that. Thanks for listening.}

My favorite time of day with Charlotte is in the wee hours of the morning, when, after two feeds and putting her back in her crib, I finally give up and take her back to bed with me. Sometimes she sleeps, sometimes she babbles, sometimes she poops on our bed (hey you take the bad with the good, right?) but she is always a great snuggler. And there's just something about the sweet little sighs of a baby lying next to you, and the weight of a head on your shoulder... yeah it makes me wonder why I didn't cosleep** more with Nathan and Anneliese.

So anyway, happy four months to my increasingly happy, growing-way-too-fast snuggle bunny little girl! We love you, Charlotte.

*Let's be honest, it's usually Nathan.
**Not interested in medical opinions right now, I know the facts, no hard feelings, kthx.

DIY Toddler Lounge Chair

You will need:

-infant bouncy seat
-plastic stool
-toddler

Allow toddler to drag stool near bouncy seat, climb in bouncy seat, prop feet up.  Instant lounge chair!

Your daily Anneliese: lounging

Duh, winning.

Santa Babies

Your daily Goettsch (and a Grice):

Santaliese

Jolly St Nate

Charlotte the Sleepy Elf

Merry F-ing Christmas and a Very Screamy New Year!
Love, Charlotte and Liam
(Why would my mom reject my brilliant holiday card suggestion?)

Santa babies!

Christmasfest

Ok, internets -- there's something you need to know about our dear friend Another Nathan. Dude loves him a good fest. And last weekend, he took me to see his absolute favorite of all the fests that ever were: the Christmas festival at his alma mater, St Olaf College.

Okay, he didn't take me to St Olaf. It's far away and really cold. We went and saw a simulcast (it had a legit trailer!) of the event at a movie theater here in Raleigh. (Although Nathan had also flown up to see it live and in person two days earlier, in Minnesota. That's how much he loves Christmasfest.)

He likes to tell how it was going to the Christmas festival with his mom one year in high school that solidified his college choice (and therefore his career in church music). Also how apparently it is not appropriate to feel Christmasy or put up a tree or fully embrace Advent until he after he's fested. Yep, true story.

And y'all. I totally get why he favorites this thing. It was so, so good. Five choirs, five hundred college kids singing beautifully with an incredible orchestra (I kept thinking dang they're just undergrads!! ...amazing talent). But it's different than just a regular Christmas concert, because the whole auditiorium full of attendees also sings along on hymns, and there is excellent narration and really well-done scripture readings. The whole thing was just kind of awesome. Best Christmas concert I've seen, probably ever. Definitely ever. I could have listened to at least another hour.

So all the music was really lovely, but the top choir, the St Olaf Choir, was just... outstanding. Even *I* could tell they were a notch above. I've been a music nerd for many years, and I have never heard a choir make a sound like that. Somehow even in parts, they sound like one voice. It's incredible. (Watch this video if you don't believe me. Actually watch it anyway, even if you do.)


(If you can't see the embedded video, click here to watch it on YouTube.)

Ok so anyway, the whole point of this. It was wonderful, I feel Christmasy now, and set your dvr's for when exerpts from the fest come on PBS in a few weeks. Do it. That is all.

Happy Advent.

Starbucks Date

Last week I was feeling kind of down, and I wanted some time out of the house that would also make me feel mommy confident.  So I collected Nathan out of his room, scrapped that day's "alone time," and we had a haircut and coffee date.

Usually when we do this, he just drinks a boxed chocolate milk.  But that day, the people working there sold me on a kiddie hot chocolate (Nathan calls it chocolate hot, remember?) that they made special for him to be juuuust warm, not hot. Per Nathan's very very specific instructions.  So, chocolate warm, I guess.

Anyway.

It was a sweet time, snuggling on some tacky orange armchairs, sharing a treat and drinking from holiday cups, making small talk with every person who came to the nearby counter to add cream and sugar.  (Nathan needed to know what every person had ordered, and needed them to know he was drinking chocolate hot.)

It wasn't til about twenty minutes later, when Nathan was singing and dancing (in public!) to feliz navidad in the background, when it occurred to me his hot chocolate was probably chock full o' caffeine.

Um, oops.

Bright-Eyed Sisters

Today's minute of Mommy Lovedrunk is brought to you by my sweet daughters, both of whom manage to smile with their eyes (and light up my life in the process).

It makes them seem curious and engaged. Between Charlotte's wide-eyed long lashes, and Anneliese's sparkly eye shine, it's hard not to meet their gaze and be happy when they're happy. 

Plus, who could resist just one more picture of babies holding babies?

Party of Five

Well here it is December, four months since baby Charlotte was inside me, yet we are still experiencing a real dearth of family pictures with all of us. And by dearth, I mean only one such picture actually exists.

Shameful, no? (Add it to the list.*) To make it even better (better?) even the one we do have was copied from someone else's camera.

*sigh*

Anyway. Our family of five, in October, at the legofest:

Parents uncombed and unshaven, four-year-old with a perfected fake smile paying attention to something completely unrelated, floppy baby covered in spit up, and of course a toddler middle child who's wearing all manner of who knows what for what will turn out to be a milestone family photo. Yep, this is us.

And I think with this combination of five personalities, it will get weirder before it gets normaler.

*Charlotte has still only had just the one bath. But who's counting?