Things That Made Me Cry Today: Orange Shoelace Edition

Abandoned by the back door, while he runs and plays outside in something newer and brighter and bigger-boy sized.

It's the end of an era.

Sad.

Red White and Blue Day

Never one to be outdone, Nathan, like Anneliese, also has developed a love for a good hat. 

(Or a bad hat. You be the judge.)

The church preschool had all the kids dress in red white and blue for a presidents day singalong (naturally?) and this is how my children insisted on showing up.

Yep, we're That Family.

Milk Sisters

Our friend Elisabeth (emu) came over this week so all our girls could play together.  Highlights included Annie and Anneliese acting out a live birthing scene in an infant car seat with a baby doll between the knees (oh yes they did), trying on Nathan's underpants, and running around in circles hollering as only good southern toddlers can.

Charlotte and Sally are too posh (read: immobile) for such endeavors, so they mostly rolled around on the floor looking cute. We might have taken a picture or twelve.

these two have cornered the market on huge blue eyes, yes?

Last month, Sally was generous enough to share a healthy freezer portion of her mama's milk with Charlotte, while I went through some medical issues and couldn't nurse or pump as much. We're so grateful. Seriously, you will basically feed my baby when I can't? Who has friends like that?? Um, I do, apparently. I never imagined myself in a milk-sharing situation, especially an informal, unofficial one.  But here am, humbled and honored by it.  An incredibly supportive move from a very sweet friend.

I hope these little milk sisters will be great friends someday too.

Cheerful Even at 3am

A few weeks ago I was upstairs in the middle of the night, doing a routine bleary-eyed baby change and feeding.  I went into the girls' shared closet to get a new diaper, and I sneezed.  Clear as day from the other side of the door, I heard bless you mommy!

What.

So after the predictable jump-out-of-my-skin-and-whirl-around reaction (it was 3am! in my baby's closet!) I was all, um, thank you?

From Anneliese's room, a sunny you're welcome!

Then silence.

...

I guess she went back to sleep after that?  Does she wake up every time I go in Charlotte's room at night?  Doesn't it bother her?  I never hear a peep. Except that one time.  Which was surprisingly cheerful. (Or... not surprisingly?  She's happy most of the time. Most of the time, I say.)

A chipper bless you in the middle of the night. I swear, only Anneliese.

Baby's First Tattoo, Gone Public

Hey remember that time Charlotte had a croupy cough that finally got bad enough that I took her to the doctor and then had to explain* why she has a tattoo of a parrot on her thigh even though she's waaaaaaay too young for such spring-breaky nonsense? 

Yeah. Hashtag: MY LIFE.

Hey, also, remember that time my mom got a tattoo and I found out about it on facebook?  It's only quasi related to this Charlotte-parrot thing, but it's been a while so I thought I'd just bring it up again anyway.

*It's temporary. Stop freaking out. Nathan had them in his class valentines. So that night we all put tattoos of jungle animals on ourselves. (As you do.) Even Charlotte. Actually, Charlotte first.  You know, in case it hurt. (Big brother fail.)

Internet Into Real Life

I have this friend of a friend, Caroline.  (I've mentioned her before. Maybe twice.)  She met my college friend Hope when they were both living in Scotland a few years ago, and then she got married and moved to Africa. (You know, like you do.)

But across the ocean and the equator, we've been internet friends.

And then Caroline (and Hope, but that's irrelevant for the point of this story) moved back to the states.  To North Carolina, actually.  To her tiny little hometown a few hours from Raleigh.

I KNOW.

So... basically this means we get to be friends in real life now, too.  She brought her husband (also Mark) and two baby boys to Raleigh for a weekend, and we got to hang out and talk and visit and play and take care of each other a bit. (And take not nearly enough pictures.)

Anneliese, Asher, and Nathan -- playing at our church

Nathan even shared his friend cars (friend cars = instant bonding)!
(That's Caroline watching. It's a blurry pic, but isn't she so pretty?!)

Nathan's first sleepover!
(We'll try not to remember the part where it ended in tears an hour later.)
;)

You know that thing where you first lay eyes on someone, and hug them, and have your first face-to-face conversation, yet it seems like you already know them?  And they're exactly how you knew they would be? 

That's a very cool thing. And that was Caroline.

And I feel very sure that's why God had Al Gore invent the internet.

Happy Half-Birthday, Dear Charlotte

Oh my sweet baby Charlotte, I don't know where to start. 

I want to write you this letter, want to mark the exact center of your first year of life, want to capture this moment in your (fleeting! super duper fleeting!) infancy. 

Yet. Also. I have been delaying writing this letter. I know the calendar says you're six months old, half a year, closer to toddlerhood than newborn freshness.  I think I know that it's true, but I don't think I'm ready to believe it.

Because here's the thing, baby girl.  This infancy thing, it only happens once.  It goes by way too fast, and we mommies and daddies never seem to appreciate it enough.  And that's in the best of situations (which this... well, yeah, hasn't been). For everything good and wonderful your presence in this family has brought, the last six months have also been really hard for me. One crazy chaotic spell after another. It's not how I would have planned or chosen to spend your infancy. And that makes me feel something like sad, when I want to feel something like excited. I'm sorry for that, Charlotte. So sorry.

While I rejoice in you, as the brightest spot in my world many days -- most days, actually -- I am also a bit brokenhearted that so much of your babyhood has flown by in this weird and difficult daze. I'm so sorry, baby. I'm sorry that I'll always have to remember your first months alongside memories of my own mental health being... what it's been.

But know this: as fast and furious and chaotic as things are, the part about you being in our family has been wonderful. Beautifully uncomplicated.  Which means there are some amazing bright spots I am clinging to.

Things like your smile. Your fuzzy head. Those looong lashes framing your wide bright eyes.

Your squeaks and squeals. Your giggles. (It's music.)

Your always-open, drool-drippy mouth, showing off so many buds of teeth.  You have three. Three! Who has three teeth at only six months?  No one, that's who. Not that I'm calling you a freak or anything.  Ahem.

Your fingers curled around mind while you nurse.

Your slow chin-tucked smile when you register that someone you love has entered the room.

Your whispered gibberish, as if you have some beautiful nonsensical secret you're trying to tell me.

Your feet -- kicky when you're happy, pushed into my tummy when you're cold, and forever and always in your mouth.

Oh yeah, and your love of gnawing on anything and everything. You haven't eaten any real foods yet, but let the record show that your first solids were grocery lists and church bulletins. Yum.

Your right thumb, always in your mouth while you sleep.

Your amazing flexible disposition. God knew our family needed a nonchalant go-with-the-flow soul to counterbalance the rest of us. Shockingly (considering your colicky start, being angry at the world) you are suddenly that easy spirit. Who knew. God is weird and wonderful. (True story.)

Charlotte, no matter how crazy I get or how crazy life gets, there is not a day or an hour or a minute that goes by when I don't feel thankful -- staggeringly blessed -- that you're my daughter. 

You are the baby I longed for, when I knew what it meant to long for a baby. 

You're the glimpse of light in my hardest days, and the best joy in my good ones.

I love you, fiercely and protectively and zealously and forever.

Happy half-birthday, Squeaky C. The first of many, and it only gets better.

Love,
Mommy

Nathan and Alex

This is one of Nathan's favorite friends, Alex. 

(No, I do not know why they're all up on that fire hydrant.)

He goes to our church, he's in Nathan's preschool class, and like Nathan, he's also the oldest of three, with two younger brothers the same ages as our girls. He's smart and confident and polite (oh, and full of energy). He and Nathan play great together at each other's houses, and on outings, and they're very sweet to each other and each other's siblings.

It makes me smile so much to see Nathan being more social and confident and finding friends he can really be himself around. I love to see him coming out of his shell a bit, and I love the handful of friends (like Alex) who make him feel safe enough to do so.  Even at just four, kids can be really amazing and encouraging.

I hope Nathan's taste in friends remains this good!

Hello There, Tiny Person

Just because this little corner of the internet really can never have too much wide-eyed baby girl...

Your daily Charlotte

Hat Love

Santa brought a big bin of dress-up clothes for Anneliese for Christmas, because she is turning into a child who loves clothes as much as her big brother. (With maybe a tad less fashion sense.) (And by a tad I mean a ton.)

The things she gravitates most towards are hats. (Or anything she can use for a hat.)  One of her favorite looks is wearing the hood (it detaches) of her lime green winter coat. Not the coat itself, just the hood.  I don't have a picture of that one but you'll have to take my word for it: it's runway-worthy.

Some other recent hatted moments caught on camera:

Pink and fabulous.

Her favorite purple hat (this is also the one she most frequently sleeps in). (What, you don't take naps wearing your winter hat? Your loss.)

Daddy's clemson hat, backwards.

A santa hat makes spaghetti-Os more festive.

Where's Anneliese?

No hat around? Just use a napkin. Yeah, I'm gorgeous. (Bonus points if your fashion choice alludes to a Sound of Music look.)

There's a "she wears many hats" joke in there somewhere, but I won't go there. You're welcome.

Happy Future Anniversary!

One year from today, my wonderful baby brother Brad will be married to his beautiful fiancee Marija, and she'll be in our family forever!

Happy future anniversary, you two. We're very excited for your big day. (And not just because it's an excuse to come visit y'all in St Croix in the dead of winter. Ahem.) We love you both!

Charlotte's First Word: Dada

Well folks, it happened again. Charlotte has said her first word, and despite my insistence that no, it isn't her first word because her first word was going to be mama... it's indeed dada.

She doesn't seem to know what it means, but she says it, she repeats it, she says it on command.  I can't argue that. Mark is three for three on first words. Dada wins again.

If you can't see the embedded video, click here to watch it on YouTube.

I guess I'll love her anyway. ;)

Congrats on a big milestone, sweet Charlotte!