Saturday, November 9, 2013

Preschool Art, Held Hostage (Update: Now Freed)

Well, here is something I am having mixed feelings about.

Our church preschool is doing a fundraiser where you can buy things with your child's artwork on it. For, um, not super cheap. Which... how do we feel about this, internet?

On the one hand, yeah yeah cute. For a good cause. ("Good cause" here meaning "something we already pay tuition for," but potato potahto, right?) Why not?

On the other hand, though. WHHAAAAAA??? You are holding my child's cutest most adorable artwork HOSTAGE so that I can PAY (again) to enjoy it on, like, the back of my smartphone? Or a keychain? Or a duffel bag? That is some messed up something, right there.

Right? Is it?

We got many many emails and GOOD NEWS! EXCITING NEW FUNDRAISER! notices about it, I rolled my eyes and planned to be super looky-nose-downy about it, and then finally the Prized Chosen art project was sent home.

And damnitall, IT IS ADORABLE.

(This is Anneliese's. Charlotte brought one home too but it was clearly teacher-assembled, and also... well it's her photo on top of her handprints with a halo, making the creepiest-ass angel I have ever seen, actually. Not a fool's chance I would want to keep that "art," much less immortalize it on any kind of keychain or phone cover, because just NO.)

(Actually now I kinda want to go dig it out of the trash and show you, because it really is that creepy, but I don't know if a blog post is worth a dumpter dive so we'll see.)

(Update: I did the dumpster dive. Yes, in the actual dumpster. I cringed when I saw it was under a used coffee cup but her art ("art") was still in the plastic order form wrapping, and seems... remarkably unscathed. And just as creepy as I remembered. Sure, her face is sweet, but those giant baby hands? That is freaking terrifying.)

(This whole thing is reminding me of that horrifying ornament craft Nathan came home with when he was two. Which shall henceforth be known as the Nathan-is-not-impressed ornament.)

ANYWAY, Anneliese's adorable turtle. Scroll up past the terrifying Angel of Creepy Toddler Terror to remember how sweet that was. Got it? Okay.

So, I'm sure someone else drew the shell for her but whatever. It is filled with watercolor which is her favorite thing these days (she loves it so much I even let her do it at home, I KNOW) and has funny eyes and printed tissue paper for feet and look at that scribbled sky! My baby is an artistic genius! This is definitely the kind of thing I would proudly put on the fridge and then carefully save forever and ever amen. Maybe the only art I have ever said that about.

Which means I should ORDER something from the fundraiser, right? Except no, because on PRINCIPLE I am MAD that they are holding her best art HOSTAGE for fundraising, when I should be putting it on MY FRIDGE.

Perhaps this issue doesn't require quite as much caps-lock angst as I am giving it.

Also I totally ordered a magnet. Shut up.

(PS, dumpster diving for kiddie art to post? I am a real mommyblogger now.)


Elsha said...

Soooo, Kalena's school totally did this fundraiser and we totally bought stuff. HOWEVER, they did not hold adorable art hostage, you went to the fundraiser and let the kids make art there then put THAT on stuff. So I felt less compelled to participate. (Which then led to us participating, so they win I guess.)

april said...

This kind of makes me mad, the holding hostage part not putting cute things on magnets. And that's a pretty cool turtle. And a pretty creepy tree/angel thing.

Erin G said...

Okay it turns out we get to keep the art whether or not we order anything, so I guess I have to re-name this post since technically the hostages have been freed. I STAND CORRECTED. Now it's just a cute, very optional fundraiser. I give my nod of approval. (That matters.)

Maggie said...

Our preschool did this last year! SO AWKWARD. Except each class made sort of Modern Artish Abstracty things and then the teachers made collages? They looked... well, they looked like orderly collages of crazy preschooler art. AND NO ONE BID ON THEM OMG THE AWKWARD. This is where I spent $200 after resolving to spend nothing because I felt so AWKWARD AAAAAHHHH (but not on preschooler art, God no.)

Erin said...

Okay, first of all, yes, the tiny angel face is adorable, but it really does look like she's peeking out from giant jazz! hands.

But that turtle, oh, that turtle is SO stinkin cute. I got all het up when I thought you didn't get to get the original back if you didn't order something. Glad to see that's not the case. Magnet is what I would have gone with, too.

Emily said...

Really I'm considering letting my girls choose a way to custom create that turtle, it really is cute. Annabel's school did this years ago, but sent a sample of the artwork on a magnet. I kept the magnet, and bought no artwork. (actually...maybe it's parents like me that have caused the drastic hostage situations?)

Hillary said...

Dude. I followed the link to Nathan's ornament and nearly snorted peppermint mocha out my nose. Thank you for that.