Time Out!

Do you watch Supernanny? We don't watch religiously, but we have been known to record the occasional episode when it's on tv and we're flipping by and it catches our interest. Some people say it's stressful after a day of childcare to watch an hour of more screaming and tantrums, but somehow I take an odd comfort in it... my child is perfectly angelic compared to most of the ones on that show, and that perspective is a healthy reality check for me. We have it pretty good with our little child communicator. :)

That being said, he's not always an angel. So even though he is young (too young by some people's standards, but not ours -- especially considering we know he understands at least 85% of what we tell him to do, and probably more), we have employed Supernanny's time-out system (she calls it the naughty step technique). I have to admit I was dubious at first that Nathan would understand the concept (and downright skeptical that he would stay in time-out when we put him there), but like so many parents on the show -- I was proved wrong. This really works. At least for our kid.

The basic concept is this:
-child misbehaves, gets a warning
-child misbehaves again, goes to a designated spot in the house (ours is a small hallway off the dining room) where all time-outs take place
-child stays in "naughty spot" for however many minutes correspond to age (we do 1:30 for Nathan right now, we'll up it to 2:00 shortly)
-NO communication with child if he comes out of time-out before it's over, just keep putting him back until he stays for the whole "sentence"
-after time is up, go talk to child, explain again what the misbehavior was, ask for an apology, then hug and kiss and back to playtime... no grudge-holding

The first few times, of course, Nathan didn't understand to stay in the hall when we walked away, so we had to put him back two or three times. After that, he's a pro. He might stand there and scream the whole time (usually, though, he gets over it well before the microwave beeps indicating he's free) but he stays put until we get him. Amazing.

More importantly, the warnings usually stop the misbehavior before time-out even has to happen. He doesn't like being separated from us, missing conversation, being alone... so if we warn him he usually responds with time out - all done, or time out -- I don't want to and then gets his ducks in a row when we assure him he indeed can be "all done" with time-out if he fixes the behavior.

Now, I don't agree with everything that Supernanny says (for example, I'm not opposed to spanking in all situations; I don't hesitate to pop Nathan on the hand or bottom if he runs into the street or tries to grab a knife out of the dishwasher or reaches for the oven... I want him to associate those misbehaviors with physical pain... those rules are in place to keep him from getting hurt), but her time-out system really does work well for us. I have no idea how long it will keep working, but for now it's going great (especially considering how rarely we have to use it).

I know there are bunches of ways to do time-out, just wanted to share how we've been doing it with Nathan. And to assure you that even 18-month olds are capable of understanding the concept. Let's not underestimate our little beasts now, shall we? :)