Sold

We officially no longer own the house we became a family in.  The closing was today and it's sold. It's done.  It's such a relief to be done with this whole process.

But.

It was a bittersweet visit over there last night to grab the last handful of things we had on the property.  I knew it might be hard, but honestly it was way sadder than I was ready for.

A year ago there was no flood, no robbery, no third baby, no plans to leave.  And now... all those empty rooms.  All those memories.  It instantly felt like home as soon as we went in the house, but simultaneously felt... abandoned.  Uncomfortable.  Something that used to be but isn't anymore.  Which is exactly what it is, of course.

I cried. 

A bit when Mark and I were grabbing some things from the master bath, puttering around in there like it was any old Sunday when we're getting ready for church together.  So normal and familiar.

And then I cried a bit more (ok, a lot more) when I went into each of the kids' rooms to take down the curtains I so painstakingly picked stripey fabric for (in preparation for sewing by Grandma and Barbara) before each of them were born. 

Nathan's first bedroom

Those rooms served many purposes before we had kids, but for me, almost every memory and emotion is linked to Nathan and Anneliese.  All I could picture, standing in those bedrooms, were their tiny little newborn faces, days old, in dim midnight lighting, while I rocked them and nursed them and fell in love with them.

Anneliese's first bedroom

And then as I was leaving and I caught sight of the sticker on the front storm door telling firefighters that in case of an emergency, please rescue the two puppies who live here, I lost it.  Saying bye to that house was like saying bye to Simon all over again.

So, yeah.  Bittersweet.

But this afternoon, with closing behind us, and no more mortgage statement for that address... it just feels like a load has been lifted. 

In that light, we're happy and relieved and feeling celebratory.  So we have a sitter on the way, and we're off to see the last Harry Potter movie and a grownup dinner!  Where we'll have no trouble raising a glass (of diet coke, in my case) to the fact that it's SOLD!