And Here's How the Rest of November Went

{1-3. Y'all. I somehow didn't get anything actually posted in the whole month of December. Despite having several things mostly written and waiting on pics. So. Let's play catchup, shall we?}

Okay so here is how our November rounded out:

-- We played outside because fall is lovely.

-- Bowden got fleas. Apparently there is an epidemic of med-resistant fleas in our part of the country, particularly in urban/suburban areas where the only fleas breeding with each other are fleas who somehow survived the meds everyone uses, creating some super-resistant class of fleas. Y'ALL. I CANNOT. SO GROSS. I will not detail all the pain of fighting this, because it is boring and complainy, but just picture me on hands and knees crying brushing borax into the carpet, and then covering everything with insecticide, then paying three million dollars to our vet for fancy meds, then scrubbing out our vacuum cleaner, and you'll have the idea. Oh, and then repeat that because those b!tches came back. AGAIN. SO GROSS.

-- Our vet recommended that we take Charlotte to the doctor about the fleas -- she is the one covered in bites, which is pretty typical considering she is our bug magnet in general, and also closest to the floor where they live etc (SO GROSS), and even though they don't like human hosts or transmit disease, I guess ingesting the bugs themselves (and more specifically their fecal matter) (HOW MANY TIMES CAN I SAY *SO GROSS*) can cause problems, and toddlers are the most apt to do that kind of thing, or something -- but it turns out our appointment was dumb because they don't actually DO anything for her unless she presents with symptoms of worms or whatever, which can take several weeks (someone remind me of this in a month if I mention she has a fever or won't eat). But. The children did play and read nicely on the floor for a solid ninety seconds in the doctor's office, so that happened.

(After that it was a sh!tshow, so I don't plan to take all three of them together again anytime soon.)

-- We watched Daniel with a LOT of babies in my lap.

-- Another Nathan lost his phone which shouldn't be particularly blogworthy except he also lost his wits about it (no judgement, if it's true that you don't know the measure of the man til he can't find his phone, then I don't want anyone to witness me having lost mine either) and after several hours of stress and withdrawal, I got reeeally lucky in between dishwasher white noise and kiddie chaos, and a second of silence happened right when I was walking by the couch, which was right when someone was texting him or something, and I heard a wee buzz.

I called it a thousand times and dug through the cushions and eventually realized it was IN THE LINING OF THE COUCH and short of unstapling the leather from the frame, I wasn't sure how to get it out. Turns out all I had to do was turn the couch upside down and climb under it.

Only one spatula and one coat hanger were casualties of the rescue effort. (My kids thought it was HI-larious. I'd do it again in a hot minute. Not just because I felt like macguyver. Hey I take my kicks where I can get em.)

-- Nathan wrote another book. A hymnal of sorts. Behold the inside, and try not to melt, because if there is anything more precious than children's handiwork, it's children's handiwork about Jesus, WITH MUSIC NOTES and also a page about dinosaurs because obviously.

-- Oh and we had a really lovely Thanksgiving. Mark had to work that night so he slept most of the day and Another Nathan helped me cook, and then we all ate together in the late afternoon. (Before a Friends thanksgiving-episode marathon, and combing through black friday ads, of course.)

We made a turkey in the crock pot which is apparently a thing you can do, and we had Mark's beloved cranberries, and pretzel chicken, and made a delicious peanut butter frosting for the traditional Thanksgiving dessert: birthday cake.

Thankful for Daddy, by Nathan

It is Thanksgiving and also Mark's birthday, and Nathan has some things he wants to say about that:

happy brthday daddy i am thankful for you.

i am thankful when you tickll me i like it

i like it when you stay home from werk and play with us. you are going too stay home rigit.

and i like it when you do not go too werk you can eat with the family like on thanksgiveing.

i am thankful when we bilde legos is it fun! we bilde big things!

i also like it when we go in the pool.

i also like it when you take me to the bus stop.

i am thankful becos you are nice and funney. you are so good at spelling bee words!

i am thankful when you make us spigettey and pangcakes.

i am thankful becos we can always do some thing speshul.

like take a nap in your big bed.

i am thankful when you say go tigers

i love you daddy ILYSM!!!!!!!!!!

so tell me if you like your cake okey.

Thanksgiving/Birthday Eve

'Twas the night before Thanksgiving, and also Mark's birthday eve, and cranberries were simmering on the stove. (I got too lazy to make that rhyme, that's what just happened right there, if you're curious.)

Y'all, there is a reason cranberry is the on-trend red everywhere. It is beautiful. Cranberries are beautiful! So beautiful I had to take a picture and tweet it. And apparently blog about it, because here I am, full of feelings. Triggered by cranberries.

Mark loves loves loves "real" cranberry sauce, so I have gotten a lot better at making it. I grew up with cranberries that took the shape of a can, and if that's wrong, then I don't want to be right. (He doesn't want to be right. Obviously.) So in our house now, we always have several kinds of cranberries, which I actually don't mind at all, because it is Marky's birthday and I actually think his sometimes-food-snobbery is kind of adorable, and being able to cook his favorite thing makes me feel thankful and affectionate. (I will be singing a different tune later when I need to hand-mill them to separate the pulp into a sauce. That is not my favorite.)

But oh man am I glad to feel affectionate right now. It has been a hard and sad week in these parts, for several trite-but-still-real worries about holiday logistics, health issues, planning overwhelm, poor sleep, and also the everything-else-pales-in-comparison sudden illness/death of a friend from a beloved family at our church, the sister of my very dear friend Jeanine, a young mom leaving behind a broken-hearted husband and two beautiful daughters, little girls who came and played at our house several times this week while their family dealt with grief and memorial services, and oh, oh! You cannot watch a sweet child on a playdate, innocently unaware her whole life has just changed, and not spend some time weeping for her, for her daddy the suddenly single parent young widower, for her baby sister who suddenly can't nurse or sleep, for your own children who selfishly-thank-God still do have their mom, will know their mom, whose lives are as they have always known, and will continue to be, at least in this moment. It is a thing not to take for granted. Nothing I or anyone can say to those girls or to Jeanine or her parents will ever make this okay. I ache for them all.

And that's why tonight, amongst other lingering stressors and heaviness, I am feeling thankful and happy for these silly cranberries on my stove. For the fact that I get to roll my eyes and think affectionate pretend-annoyed thoughts of serving two different kinds of the same fruit in one meal. For my husband who will see another birthday tomorrow. For my children who adore him as much as I do. For life and safety and mental health and love. For my parents and siblings, scattered with in-laws celebrating as they had planned, without pain or disruption in this holiday week. For my best friend who will be here any minute for a post-gym hello and hug, knowing I am alone while Marky is on night shift, Marky who will be home safe in the morning, to eat cranberries and birthday cake.

For us, it is a good day, a lovely evening. And for others, I will pray and feel hopeful until they can again too.

Happy thanksgiving eve, happy birthday eve to my darlin' Marky, many merry cranberries to all, and to all a good night.

Her Daddy's Girl

I found Anneliese like this in the armchair in her room last week, after hours of insisting she didn't need to nap and wasn't tired and could she please come downstairs now. I took this picture after trying to talk and tickle and nudge, her awake to no avail.

I decided only a child of Mark's could nap that solidly and that uncomfortably comfortably IN AN ARMCHAIR. She did not get this from me.

(Any good sleeping habits my kids ever do show, they didn't get from me. Let's just be sure we're clear on that.) (However, she is snuggling a purse, so she is a little bit mine too.)

Who Wore it Best: Pigtail Edition

{It has been A WEEK and I don't feel like thinking or blogging about any of it, so we are doing this instead.}

Charlotte has reached a new special girly milestone: baby's first pigtails!

Besides suddenly looking waaaay older, which isn't my favorite, her sweet little hair was adorable in those wispy piggy tails, and I LOVED IT.

However, other people (*ahem*) smiled a little, proclaimed her cute enough I guess, but hmmmm odd, and then got all nostalgic about Anneliese's pigtails. Talking something or other about how apparently, Anneliese's curls made the cutest pigtails ever. And precious and lovely though Charlotte may be, if it came down to a Who Wore it Best contest -- curls beat wisps, so Anneliese would win every time.

WELL. That sounds worth exploring.

So, at the risk of setting up our daughters for a future as Kardashian-types, we are pitting them against each other now in a high-stakes hair fashion contest. To keep it fair, instead of a pic of Anneliese's first pigtails (which were a bit younger than Charlotte's), I chose a picture of her at the same age Charlotte is now (two years plus two months).

So. Who wore the pigtails better?

(Winner gets extra parental love. HAHAHAAAOMG SIMMER DOWN I AM KIDDING. Winner gets extra trust fund money to pay for therapy. STILL KIDDING. Probably. No seriously, who wins, wisps or curls?)

Tiny Dancer

So, here is a cute thing that Anneliese has been doing:

DANCE.

She started this summer in a creative movement class at a random chiropractic studio in North Raleigh, just to find a "camp" thing to try, and she really liked it. So this fall, we started her in real dance lessons.

Remember Mark's very first ASP trip? His work group co-leader was this lovely gal from our church named Hillary, who has since opened up a dance school, so she is now Ms Hillary and is Anneliese's teacher and Anneliese loooooves her.

getting fitted for her first ballet shoes

We thought Anneliese would mostly love dance for the shoes (tap and ballet) and the outfits, and don't get me wrong, she totally does. But she also is good at the dancing. What.

She forgot her shoes that day,
but these are the best pics I have remembered to take.

Like, she listens well and copies the movements and remembers the order to do them, and it all feels very foreign to me, since I never did dance as a child and it always seemed like something other people do. To see my kid doing great at it is... weird. And awesome.

(This is Mark and I feel about taekwondo too.)

Charlotte is actually the danciest of all our kids, but she isn't quiiiite old enough to take classes yet. Although she watches through the window and dances along better than I would think she can.

Big sisters have all the fun, don't they Booler?

So, yeah. Dance. It's a thing that is happening.

Ten November-So-Far Things

Scenes from our November:

1.) One of Anneliese's favorite things is having "coffee" with me in the mornings. It's just hot chocolate powder in a cup, and I run water through the coffeemaker to make it. Takes twice as long as microwaving, but she loves it ten times as much. That's your parenting math pro tip of the day. (I add a lot of milk to cool it off.)

2.) My favorite summer Charlotte onesie dress has now become a fall tunic with jeggings, and I might like it even better, and hey I am getting kinda good at this wardrobe stretching thing.

3.) Anneliese's birthday outfit also got a fall update. "Mom look I found my purple tights! And Nathan helped me put my skirt on! And my orange coat is in the rainbow tooooo!" Well, I... yeah, I don't know how to argue with that.

When I am out with Anneliese, especially when she creates looks like this (the child has never met a color combo she doesn't think looks super together, no joke), people often comment how I must love hanging out with such a bright and colorful kid. Yeah, I don't know how to argue with that either.

4.) Nathan's sweet Tiger is also still enjoying his birthday party outfit, a month later.

5.) Mark made me fried bananas, a holdover Dutch-by-way-of-the-Indonesians dessert from his childhood. His mom used to make them for us in high school when I was over there for dinner (read: making out). So fried bananas taste like memories and kissing to me.

6.) Charlotte calls these her kitty PJs. Panthers fans everywhere are either awwww-ing or in outrage. One of those.

7.) Nathan has been asking for the pipe organ episode of Mister Rogers every weekend since we were at Montreat (where he saw a photo of Mister Rogers in front of an organ and announced I've never seen that one! Maybe it will be the next one that comes on!) (SPOILER: it has never been the next one that comes on). Finally it occurred to me that I could just maybe find it online, and yep, there it was, ready to be streamed on Amazon.

He watched, entranced, grinning at the special shoes and the pipes and the crawling up into the casing (is that what that's called?) and the magical internet joy of finally after months and months, seeing something you have wanted to see. Best $2 I have spent in a while.

8.) Anneliese isn't always super snuggly with me, but she suddenly is with Mark, and I am simultaneously jealous and melting from the sweetness.

9.) Nathan's bus comes home every day right when Charlotte is finishing naptime, and she is often awake standing on her bed, watching for him out the window. My friend Miranda said this is really cute my day but would be super creepy at night (she totally does it at night too).

And in case you had forgotten how creepydorable age two can be, she also sometimes gives us a puppet show with her animals.

10.) A few weeks ago, Nathan finally earned his necklace and first foot in his before-school walking club thing; after his laps were all added up he had passed the landmark five miles or whatever. He is pretty proud. And cute.

And that's November so far.

Weekend Away-ish

My dad offered to take all three babies for the weekend so Mark and I could have some time together (it might have been more about Dad seeing his grandkids, but I am pretending it was a special present for moi). Mark and I hemmed and hawed and were indecisive about how to spend our free time -- We should GO somewhere! No we should stay home and bask in the SILENCE! No we can do that any night they sleep well (ha) (in theory) and we should go, because how many times have we wanted to get AWAY but can't get the kids covered, and NOW they're covered and we didn't even have to think about it! Yes but how awesome is it also to be home and in our own space and actually be RESTED and FUN? Oooooh we should VISIT someone! OR we could go somewhere JUST US! Or we could stay home and SLEEP LATE IN OUR OWN BED I mean what.

(That "conversation" was all me, by the way. Mark, being Mark, just smiled and listened and told me he was fine with anything my little heart dreamed up.)

(It sounds charming when I present it that way. He really is easygoing. In a bad mood I would call it indecisive. But I'm in a good mood. So! Easygoing!)

Um, okay, all that to say, we went to Boone.

One night there, one at home, throw in a romantic dinner and a visit with some old friends and some greasy road trip food, and something mumble something something but you can't have it allll, Erin. Shut it fools, yes I can.

So yeah, it was kinda awesome. Mark and I have so much fun when we travel alone together. I could work myself into some kind of existential crisis about whyyyy we are so much better on vacation than we often are in real life, but instead I will just revel in the happiness that when you take away our everyday "real life" we are still so US, like we always have been, not as parents or house-running partners or whatever, just two people who love each other and have fun* hanging out. That still feels good, and I like that.

(We are fine at home too! I mean vacation is better, but not in a bad way, so I am just going to take that for what it is instead of being Classic Erin and finding some way to second-guess it. SHUT UP, ME.)

*We used to joke all the time about people who say they like to have fun, and then use that fact as some kind of compatibility measurement with other people. Which is not a Thing. Everyone likes to have fun! You are not in love with x person because you like to have fun and omg what's this, can it be, no surely not, x person likes to have fun toooo? No, everyone, just no. AND YET. You would be surprised how many people say this in casual conversation. "Well, we both just like to have fun, so..." Anyway, that is a thing we are both annoyed by. Annoyed enough that sometimes we joke that we actually don't like to have fun, we hate fun, and that is what makes us compatible... which might be true if it were true, but it isn't true -- we do like to have fun because everyone likes to have fun THAT IS WHAT FUN MEANS. Okay, end tangent.

This was supposed to be a post sharing pics from Grandfather Mountain, so here we are, having fun (!!!) at Grandfather Mountain.

It was beautiful. I hadn't been there in forever, since I was a kid maybe? And it was cold and clear and wintry without being oppressively wintry, and we did not hate it. (Wintry? Wintery? Whatever.)

After we had hiked around, made too many Climb Ev'ry Mountain jokes (we've been von trapped!), and Mark had brought me inside the nature museum/zoo and showed me some tree that grew a tumor (I almost fell asleep just writing that sentence) (I LOVE HIM SO) and a bear that smelled bad and some otters and a cougar (Mark reeeeeally loves nature, y'all), we made our way back down to civilization, as much as one finds that in the NC mountains.

We stopped on the way home to hang out with his college roommate Justin and their (now three!) children. We stopped and visited my Grandpa, who can talk to Mark like no one else in Mark's life has ever talked to Mark (and I am including myself in that statement), and our visit was worth it all just for the look on Grandpa's face when he opened the door and we were there when he hadn't been expecting us. So awesome.

Oh! And we ate hot dogs from this little place called the Igloo, which sounds like nothing, but Y'ALL. You will never believe me when I tell you world's best hot dogs live in an igloo-shaped takeout diner in Millers Creek, North Carolina BUT THEY DO. (My dad and brother are reading this and groaning. They are wrong. The Igloo is perfection.) So if you ever want the world's best hot dog, GO HERE:

Okay so then we came home and went downtown with a group of friends for a dinner that was 98% garlic, 2% food, and 0% linguine (and a server who looked at us like we were idiots for even mentioning linguine at all) but actually my risotto balls were quite delicious even though Italian food isn't always my favorite.

AND THEN we basked in the silence of our own house, slept rebelliously late (we went to the late church service instead of the early one, because that is our brand of rebellious these days) and then Mark collected our babies and we were glad to see them and we lived happily ever after through the rest of the holiday weekend.

Preschool Art, Held Hostage (Update: Now Freed)

Well, here is something I am having mixed feelings about.

Our church preschool is doing a fundraiser where you can buy things with your child's artwork on it. For, um, not super cheap. Which... how do we feel about this, internet?

On the one hand, yeah yeah cute. For a good cause. ("Good cause" here meaning "something we already pay tuition for," but potato potahto, right?) Why not?

On the other hand, though. WHHAAAAAA??? You are holding my child's cutest most adorable artwork HOSTAGE so that I can PAY (again) to enjoy it on, like, the back of my smartphone? Or a keychain? Or a duffel bag? That is some messed up something, right there.

Right? Is it?

We got many many emails and GOOD NEWS! EXCITING NEW FUNDRAISER! notices about it, I rolled my eyes and planned to be super looky-nose-downy about it, and then finally the Prized Chosen art project was sent home.

And damnitall, IT IS ADORABLE.

(This is Anneliese's. Charlotte brought one home too but it was clearly teacher-assembled, and also... well it's her photo on top of her handprints with a halo, making the creepiest-ass angel I have ever seen, actually. Not a fool's chance I would want to keep that "art," much less immortalize it on any kind of keychain or phone cover, because just NO.)

(Actually now I kinda want to go dig it out of the trash and show you, because it really is that creepy, but I don't know if a blog post is worth a dumpter dive so we'll see.)

(Update: I did the dumpster dive. Yes, in the actual dumpster. I cringed when I saw it was under a used coffee cup but her art ("art") was still in the plastic order form wrapping, and seems... remarkably unscathed. And just as creepy as I remembered. Sure, her face is sweet, but those giant baby hands? That is freaking terrifying.)

(This whole thing is reminding me of that horrifying ornament craft Nathan came home with when he was two. Which shall henceforth be known as the Nathan-is-not-impressed ornament.)

ANYWAY, Anneliese's adorable turtle. Scroll up past the terrifying Angel of Creepy Toddler Terror to remember how sweet that was. Got it? Okay.

So, I'm sure someone else drew the shell for her but whatever. It is filled with watercolor which is her favorite thing these days (she loves it so much I even let her do it at home, I KNOW) and has funny eyes and printed tissue paper for feet and look at that scribbled sky! My baby is an artistic genius! This is definitely the kind of thing I would proudly put on the fridge and then carefully save forever and ever amen. Maybe the only art I have ever said that about.

Which means I should ORDER something from the fundraiser, right? Except no, because on PRINCIPLE I am MAD that they are holding her best art HOSTAGE for fundraising, when I should be putting it on MY FRIDGE.

Perhaps this issue doesn't require quite as much caps-lock angst as I am giving it.

Also I totally ordered a magnet. Shut up.

(PS, dumpster diving for kiddie art to post? I am a real mommyblogger now.)

Adventures With Nathan and Anneliese

Three adventures this week:

1.) On Saturday, I took the kids to a roller-skating party hosted by our church, technically for elementary school kids, but it seemed like the kind of things siblings would tag along to, and Nathan was nervous to try skating without Anneliese (who was chomping at the bit, talking about how much she loooooves roller skating) (?) (she has never been on skates in her life), so I brought her along too.

SPOILER ALERT: They are terrible skaters. Well wait, no. That's not right. Calling them skaters, even terrible ones, is a gross exaggeration and also a generous euphemism. They are terrible at... being humans who wear skates. Let's say that instead.

Basically they both alternated between laughing and sobbing. They loved the skates themselves, and after an hour or so they loved kiiiiiiinda moving around a liiiiiitle bit... on the carpet. But as far as rolling around as a mode of transportation, on a slippery wooden floor? Nope. (Shocking, right?) (When I told them some people like the floor slippery because it helps them skate fast which they find fun, Nathan and Anneliese looked at me like I had lost my fool mind.)

But they kept trying and they didn't want to quit, and they were so encouraging of each other (always easier to cheer someone else on to do something you're scared to do yourself, of course), so we went to Target afterwards for Good-Effort Icees. Yes it was totally a millenial parent move and I am rolling my eyes at myself except not really because I wanted a treat too. (Did you know kid icees are only like a dollar at Target? True story.) (Icees also have caffeine, except the flavors that specifically say they don't have caffeine. Also a true story.)

2.) On Tuesday, I took Anneliese to have a lunch date with Nathan at his school, which she has been asking to do forever and ever, and he was so proud to have her there. His teacher encouraged us to come to the classroom first, and walk down to the cafeteria with them, and we did, Anneliese clutching Nathan's hand the whole way. He helped her know what to do: "Anneliese, we have to walk in the halls with integrity. Integrity means you act right in line without anyone telling you to." (!!!)

We sat at the end of his class's table in the cafeteria, and several of his friends clamored to sit with us, and several of the girls in his class fawned over Anneliese, and the whole thing was very heartening, to see Nathan in his normal environment, doing great and still so welcoming to his little sister. Oh man. It was chaotic but oh so sweet.

3.) This morning, I took Nathan to school early so he could shop at the book fair and of course Anneliese, when she heard what it was, wanted to come too. So we went, and they picked out books, and we sat in his media center and read until he needed to go to class.

And can I just say Y'ALL, the book fair is JUST AS MUCH FUN NOW as it was when we were kids. I got a little swoony. The folding metal shelves! The boxes of bookmarks! The posters! It is all still the same and all still as book fair magical as it always has been. Booooooook faaaaaaaaair!!!!!

Birthday Weekend! And Too Much About Me

Time for a great big bloggity roundup of my birthday weekend!

(Sorry, I will calm down. There won't be too many exclamation points, I promise. It won't be very much about me at all actually, what am I like 21 still? This is going to be Birthday Weekend: Calmish Church Choir Mommy edition.) (Wait no that sounds more boring than I actually am, it's something in between cray cray party yo, and super boring.) (Oh just read it.)

Okay so my birthday always starts after the kids are down on Halloween night (YES IT DOES, IT IS LIKE THE SABBATH, JUST GO WITH IT) when I help myself to their candy (we are unabashed communists around here, and communist in the sense of the leaders take what we want and arbitrarily distribute the rest based on favors to the regime and good behavior and our moods and whatnot) but this year I didn't even have to take that much candy because LOOK, Another Nathan made me a Halloween* pie!

(*Birthday eve pie. Which he at first called a Halloween pie because he (adorably) (as any good friend would) didn't want to step on Mark's toes in making birthday treats. And because people always need extra pie... on Halloween? Ha.) (He is good people, yo.) Anyway it was full of peanut butter and cream cheese and homemade whipped cream and there were chocolate chips all through it and peanuts in the crust and oh good grief. I just. Okay. It was really good, y'all.

On Friday night Marky and I went downtown and had dinner at this trendy Laotian restaurant. We had never had Laotian food before, but let me tell you, the Laotians eat well. At least the ones in Raleigh. Lovely Asian ingredients, cooked in some kind of French style (thank you colonialism) (yes, I am a lady who reads human interesty things on the backs of menus) and we basically just ordered what our server said were the best things and they were. Mark got some kind of pork belly soup, and I had a duck thing with spicy marinated (un-ripe? it's a thing) papaya with cabbage and rice, all of which I ate with my fingers because hey, when in Rome. Or Laos. Or downtown Raleigh. Whatever.

Oh! And they had this sticky rice that was like... crunchy? toasty? I don't even know how to describe it but it was the best rice I have ever had, and I am not really a rice person, but it was awesome enough that if you are reading this and you ever come to Raleigh, I will take you out for Laotian food and I will read you the back of the menu about the owners' parents and we will eat toasty rice and you will like it. Yes you.

Also Marky gave me this beeeeeautiful bracelet he brought home from St Croix (the other one! I loved two! He gave me one on our anniversary but it turns out he got both! and I recognize I am being marriage-sappy right now but it's my birthday weekend and I can and I'm not sorry) which is sweet and thoughtful and makes me smile so much.

Then, as every year on All Saints weekend, our church did a Sunday night memorial evensong service. It is always really lovely, and this year particularly so for some reason. We sang this (not as well as that recording) (but still really really well!!) and it had me thinking all sorts of happy thoughts about that little (not so little anymore) choir and how they are my family at church and how super they have all been especially over the last two years, and how hard it is to find people outside your family that can be your people, and I have that, and it's no small thing, and I feel grateful and lucky and somehow I cried with them and laughed with them til I cried, and felt indignant together and protective and proud and tickled and sad, all in the course of two hours that evening. (Not an exaggeration. It was quite an evening with my alto ladies.) Just, you know, feeling lots (lots!) of Feelings.

And the postlude Another Nathan played after worship was a piece based on the same chorale which was the processional Mark and I picked for our wedding, a piece we have loved since high school, the first piece we ever loved together, I think (picture us, band nerds on the back of the bus, discman between us and one ear bud each, listening to symphonies. #hott). So basically I can never hear that tune without feeling full of emotional Marky memories anyway, and then to hear it after an emotional service, my bestest friend sitting at the organ, playing it so beautifully, stunning really, I kinda... I mean... you ever just need to happy sigh for a minute and take it all in? Yeah, that.

Okay I am losing an ability to be articulate and I am yammering on too much about my feeeeelings and this wasn't going to be a post all about me anyway, so. Moving on.

Birthday dinner! Another one! (Oops exclamation points.) (Oops still about me.) We ate empanadas and drank spicy cocktails with a group of friends, which was easy and fun and funny. My friend Meghan talked me into some fancy Mexican corn on the cob which was maybe the best thing I ate all weekend. Well, in the top three.

Sometimes birthdays feel hard, like any marking of passing time can of course, measuring what is against what has been and what could be. But sometimes you're measuring against what isn't, or what isn't anymore, and that feels better, and this was one of those years.

WHAT AM I EVEN TALKING ABOUT. Less inarticulate emotion in 3... 2... 1...

Ummmm and then I snuggled with Charlotte and read books with Nathan and trimmed Anneliese's bangs the end?

No, wait. Somewhere in there we also saw a movie and I ate a cake that Marky and the kids made, which was also laced with chocolate chips, because they love me and know me and my family is just THE BEST.

You think blowing out candles is awesome, but then you blow out candles with the help of your kids, who also helped bake the cake, and then you know how awesome blowing out candles can be.

Oh and also I am 33, because I am not into age-hiding. But I do reserve the right to change my mind about that, so if I am into age-hiding in a few years, just don't remind me of this post, mmkay?

Hey remember when "fall back" used to mean sleeping an extra hour in the morning? We were cute back then. Now it means an extra hour to bicker before school, and we can't even make it til our normal bedtime before we're dozing on the couch. So yeah. Happy birthday weekend, and goodnight.

(Oops. It was mostly about me after all.)