Other new things I did this year: I traveled out of the country with three small children, I battled a flea infestation in my house, I watched my sweet husband put out a fire in our kitchen, and I went to my first conference at Montreat (as a Presbyterian born and raised in North Carolina, it is a little bit shocking that it took 32 years). Oh and I got pleurisy, even though it was the year 2013 not 1813, which was officially this year's dose of what the fresh hell?!?
Did you keep last year's resolutions, and will you make more for this year? My resolutions last year were to be textier with Mark at work during the day, send more emails, and try two new recipes a month. I get a big ol' MEH on all of them. I was sometimes really good at them and sometimes really not, so I guess for most people that would be a resolution fail, but if I am better now than I was then, I am calling it a win because that is just good math.
And I am a month into 2014 and I have no new resolutions. Some years I totally care, and apparently this isn't one of them.
How did you spend
What dates from 2013 will remain etched in your memory? January 29th: our plane tickets to St. Croix. June 21st: the day Mark and I celebrated ten years of marriage. July 27th: the day after Nathan's 6th birthday, when we went to Montreat together. December 23rd: when my nephew Sullivan was born.
What
Whose behavior merited celebration? Anneliese, actually. After some terrible hard months, she has now (minus a frustrating nightly cleanup crying habit) settled into that delightful stage of being four. Four is great. Four is cheerful and independent and inquisitive and funny. Even better, four is almost five! (I have yet to encounter an age better than five. If we get to one that trumps five, I will let you know. Til then, five forever!) (Oh whoa, I just saw that last year I said it was Anneliese's behavior that appalled me. Well look at that, she turned it around.)
Whose behavior appalled you? People who still knock on doors. Ring doorbells. Show up in circumstances where that would be warranted. You know what I mean. This has become my favorite thing to hate, except I actually hate to have to hate it, because HOW IS THIS STILL A THING??
If I know you are coming, come on in. If I don't know you are coming, you fall into two groups: 1- you have a key, and can come in whenever you want (without knocking), or 2- I don't want you to come over. Solicitors are most definitely in the second group. Delivery people who knock on doors and then run back to their trucks are also in the second group. Neighbors who want to talk to us about fence fixing or hedge trimming or whether or not the city is going to build a sidewalk on our road, IN THE SECOND GROUP.
I'm just not sure how or why it is still a culturally appropriate thing to show up at someone's house, in their space, and assume that they would stop what they are doing and deal with what you want them to deal with, on your time, when you were not invited or even necessarily welcome, and if you want them to BUY SOMETHING FROM YOU, then that is even worse because it is an egregious distortion of the appropriate consumer/provider relationship.
Let's let 2014 be the year that we, as a society, reserve showing up unannounced at people's houses for only times of emergency or need.
Okay, end rant. That is not what this post is about. Moving on.
What was great this year when you weren't expecting it? Montreat. It was a pretty last-minute decision to volunteer for the youth conference as a small group leader, and an even more last-minute decision to have Nathan come with me. And then suddenly what I had been expecting to be a simple champerone on a church trip turned out so much better. Truly, a highlight of my year.
Who is the best new person you met? Liz. Hands down, Liz. Liz from Montreat, Utah Liz, LIZ. I don't want to be all sappy about her (again) on the internet, but she is super, and I can't remember the last time I met someone with whom I connected so easily and so quickly. And it has lasted, even months after the conference last summer. (Also, I think this year I started to re-claim my own extroversion. I love meeting new people and listening to their stories. My life hadn't afforded much of that in the past few years, and then in 2013 it was everywhere, and I enjoyed it. Liz was a big reason why.)
Who did you miss? These days I miss my sister a lot, especially since she spent most of the year pregnant, and last time she was pregnant we were pregnant together, and so it made me think of her, and us, pretty often. Every time Ashley and I visit, we just talk a mile a minute and hear each other's feeeelings and then suddenly it has been hours and we're exhausted but in a really good really connected way, and yeah I just kinda love her a lot and I miss her when she feels far.
What did you get really really excited about? Our trip to Chicago, a trip just for Mark and me. I get excited any time the two of us can get away together. We are great on vacation, and there is no one else I would rather travel with. I had a ton of fun planning it out and booking it (Mark and I both love that the planning is MY part of any trip) and then I looked forward to it for months. And then it was an awesome trip. Because of my excellent planning. And also because Chicago is lovely and Marky is great and blah blah blah whatever GOLD STAR FOR TRIP PLANNING, SELF.
Where did most of your money go? Mortgage, health insurance, taxes, school tuition, Starbucks.
What was the best thing you bought? The chromebook. I have my own computer! That I share with other people also, but whatever, we now are a family of more than just one computer!
What was your favorite show? The Mindy Project and Parenthood are the two shows Mark and I most look forward to watching. We also continue to watch the hell out of Daniel Tiger which the kids, especially Charlotte, adore. I know the jingle that goes with every episode, oh yes I do. Feel free to be very impressed. *brushes shoulder*
What was your favorite book? Eleanor & Park, by Rainbow Rowell. Her writing is beautiful and honest and clear, and the story is about young love. Like, real love. It is a really really great book.
What was your favorite movie? Mark and I went and saw The Secret Life of Walter Mitty the day before New Year's Eve, and we loved it. It was part sobering reality, part fantastical daydream, had beautiful scenery in Iceland and the Himalayas, and was easy and delightful to watch.
How old were you on your birthday, and what did you do? I turned 33, and I had a lunch date with Another Nathan and we did our traditional first peek through the mall to start forming Christmas lists. Then I had a fancy and romantic Laotian dinner date with Marky. And then a couple nights later we had mexican food and spicy cocktails at an empanada bar with some friends downtown. It was lovely and exactly what I wanted.
What was your biggest achievement in 2013? This rainbow cake.
Your biggest failure? My ongoing struggle to be more patient and kind, especially with the kids. Sometimes they drive me nuts doing things that are perfectly benign, and I want to react to that better. In those situations, my nerve-shot feeling is almost always about me, not them.
What song will always remind you of 2013? Imagine Dragons - On Top of the World. Yes, I know it was actually released a whole year ago, but Nathan and I sang it a thousand times wandering around Montreat and now when I hear it, that is what I remember -- our first trip there. Also A Great Big World's This is the New Year, which I used in his birthday video, was one of my favorite songs this year too.
What kept you sane? This is a serious question, yo. Sanity is no joke, and when I am able to come by it, I don't take it for granted. The precious hours Mark and I together many evenings, after the kids go to bed but before we do, are probably the most sanity-giving regular times in my routine. Also consistent support and friendship from Another Nathan, especially our Wednesday coffee dates and Tuesday post-choir blue moon chats, which are so healthy in need-to-vent or need-to-laugh ways, depending on the week. Also choir itself. Also my unlimited texting plan. Also library books. Also coffee. COFFEEEEEE.
What valuable lesson did you learn this year? Lesson still being fine tuned: not to let a bad day overwhelm me about my forever.
