Happy 12th Birthday, Nathan!

Well it's the end of July again, which means it's time to dust off Ye Olde Blogge because birthday season is upon us, and here remains my best option for capturing something of my babies' baby-selves (yes they're still babies), besides what's happening on insta and whatever.

(Has the social corner of the internet grown into an almost-teen right alongside Nathan? Yes? Yes, it has. The first iPhone was born the same month he was, and well, here we are living in this whole new internet future.)

He's TWELVE today. (!!)

Happy birthday, baby Nathan!!

I wish I had a lovely real professional picture of him but alas, I don't yet, that won't happen for a few more weeks (I'm getting less rigid in my old age) (haaaaa HA you know that's a lie, obviously) (it's just been a busy few weeks and I decided it could wait) (hmmm actually that does sound legitimately like less rigid; I'll take it) and ANYWAY here, enjoy this pic of him from his first day of school yesterday, instead:

He started 7th grade yesterday (still on a modified schedule) and doesn't it sound so old? Seventh grade? He had a good school year last year, which we were surprised and grateful for (surprised because transitioning to middle school sort of sucks amirite? and grateful because we ain't no fools). He loved Chinese best, and took a new interest in history/ social studies. He still likes math and science too, but seems less attached to them over other subjects than he used to be. He does that thing where he's so balanced/fair/noncommittal (Hufflepuff!) that it's hard to tell sometimes what he really likes best, because he seems to moderately enjoy almost all of it. But his affinity for Chinese is clear.

He is still playing his cello and had a great year in orchestra, much better than we knew to expect at his new school. He gets to combine with the band kids and play in a symphony group with brass and winds and percussion which is new to him and has been a really rewarding musical experience.

He has also leaned all in at church this year. He adores youth choir, has turned into a decent little tenor, and seems to have a renewed interest in worship and youth group and faith formation. We did a new (to us) conference at Montreat this year, and he got to be a Music and Worship conferee (Anneliese too!) which they both really liked.

He continues to be obsessed with sports, more obsession in my book than is really warranted considering we have very much screeched the breaks on anything beyond Y teams or city rec league. He watches soccer and football and baseball and fancies himself a future professional, which... mmmkay. (I know, I know, this is normal 12yo kid things, I just need to roll my eyes a little.)

He is still eating everything in sight, says his favorite is steak and also Asian food. He loves Master Chef Jr and still likes to try "helping" in the kitchen and at the grill. He started reading the Lord of the Rings books, but secretly when he doesn't think we are paying attention, he still can't quit the Who Was biographies and takes them to bed on the reg, to read under the covers. He is more and more outgoing and might even be turning into the most extroverted person in this house? (I don't even know what's happening, y'all.)

He loves playing soccer with Charlotte, making videos with Anneliese, trampolining and minecrafting and outside pretending with both of them, building legos in solitude, and he has more patience for little-sister Beanie Boos than I'd ever expect of a kid his age, and yet I'm also not super surprised.

He is kind and confident. He is very anxious and stressed when things don't go how they are "supposed" to go, and we like to joke that his life MO might be "the rules are in place so everyone can JUST HAVE FUN." (Rules: he likes 'em.) He is also bossy and helpful and shows excellent judgement. He's responsible and independent in the best kinds of ways -- managing his own school stuff with very little input needed, riding the city bus home from school on his own every day, getting himself up and going every morning, remembering his schedule and his calendar things. He is curious and snuggly and is in motion 80% of the time. (Growing bodies, man.) He is a really wonderful human, and we love him.

Some of our favorite moments this year are in the video below, including grandparent visits, flights to Minnesota (including a Vikings stadium tour) and to California (!!!) to see Clemson play in the national championship bowl game (I know that's not technically what it's called, don't @ me). Plus Montreat and a road trip and general fun at home:



(If you can't see the video embedded above, click here to watch it on YouTube.)

We love you so much, buddy. And yes, you're twelve and still a baby, thank you for agreeing to this arrangement. Happy birthday, dear Nathan.

Past videos and memories:

Nathan's 10th year
9th year
8th year
7th year
6th year
5th year
4th year
3rd year
2nd year
1st year 

Happy 11th Birthday, Nathan!

Welp, Nathan is eleven!

The tiny baby who came home to two mostly-clueless parents and two pups who thought they were human, the baby who inspired the move of Erin's Official Internet Sharings from, like, long emails and LiveJournals and MySpace to HERE IN YE LITTLE CORNER OF THE WEBZ which has already somehow aged itself out of usefulness in keeping up with the times but I can't quite quit it anyway -- yeah, THAT little newborn baby is now eleven.

Eleven!

Happy birthday, baby Nathan!

He started middle school this week (magnet school with a modified schedule starts early and ends early each year). He's still doing orchestra, and loving science and design things, is doing a geometric construction class (?) (something about math and buildings) and also digital literacy (because 2018) and Chinese and all sorts of big-kid things.

He has reached the age of into-every-sport, thinks he is destined to be a great football star (he has never played football, never, not once, but he will be trying it this fall) (the flag variety, I'm not nuts y'all, PLEZ), is actually a really fast swimmer, likes running, and wears out athletic shoes faster than he outgrows them (he's still the smallest kid in his grade) (best of luck with those football dreams, buddy). He has fallen hard for the Croatian national soccer team, the Twins (?) and the Vikings (???) - but is most enthused about Clemson football, because, yknow, Dad time.

He tells jokes that actually (sometimes) have a real punchlines that are (somewhat) funny. He is too old for Daniel Tiger but not too old for Cars and Toy Story. He isn't yet too cool for snuggling. THANK THE LORD AMIRITE?! He loves his little sisters and his little cousins and is compliant and responsible and polite, and only shows signs of teen 'tude when he's overstimulated or beyond his introvert limits (but is better than many adults at recognizing that and escaping for a bit to recharge).

He is bossy but we have no idea where he gets that. *shrug*  *cringe*

His YouTube history is still full of dinosaur documentaries and info about maritime history, now with a smattering of Two Cellos, The Piano Guys, Imagine Dragons, Minecraft how-tos, sportsball highlights, kid chef/cooking shows, drawing tutorials, and Try Not to Laugh videos. (Spoiler alert: he usually laughs. Often at o' dark thirty in the morning when I am trying to sleep late.) (Someone wake me when my mom of the year trophy arrives.)

We got him a cell phone earlier this summer, for the advent of middle school (he'll eventually be taking a city bus home, and I need to text him and also track his every location and move like any millenial parent, duh) and as we were setting up our family cell phone rules, and talking about not disparaging other people or excluding them or saying unkind or untrue things about them, etc - he said "so basically, be a a Hufflepuff?" YES, BUDDY. YES. BE A HUFFLEPUFF.

And he is. Through and through. He seeks to include, he clamors for what's fair (to the point where his exacting nature is sometimes exhausting for me), he is empathetic and kind and funny, and just a truly wonderful little human.

I felt a LOT of feelings this past Sunday, his due date, the night before he started middle school. I cried all my tears and missed his infant self and I think I have that out of my system for the moment, because right now all I can think about is how great he is, how glad I am I know him, and how amazed and grateful I am that we get to be his parents.

Happy birthday, dear Nathan. We love you so much. xoxo


(Click here to watch the embedded video above on YouTube.)


Memory lane:

Nathan's 10th year
9th year
8th year
7th year
6th year
5th year
4th year
3rd year
2nd year
1st year (omg   *sob emoji*)

Nathan at Almost 10

Well I never thought I would see the day, but this year -- ten years in -- is the year I finally had to ask myself a few times, trying to remember which was Nathan's due date. (The 22nd. It was the 22nd!)

It's also the year everything went completely bananas and I stopped even pretending to blog, but I have to leave this space here anyway, my own little corner of the internet, because I need a home for memories and milestones and that kind of thing, even if the day-to-day captures have moved to other online homes.

As this is posting, our family is floating northward on America's highways, en route to Wisconsin Dells, because a day of giant waterparks is what Nathan requested for his 10th birthday, and we do love a reason for a road trip. (And a waterpark.) (And a celebration.) It's funny how tween and preteen birthday requests have moved away from toys and Thomas and Friend Cars, and are now all about devices and bikes and projects and trips. COME BACK TO ME, FRIEND CARS. (Cars 3 is out this summer and I won't lie, I'm dying to see it just so I can cry some nostalgia tears remembering the baby and toddler years.)

So yeah, Nathan is about to turn ten. We've known him for a decade. We've been parents for a decade. I am so freaking full of Feelings my head has been spinning for weeks.

Nathan has had a really good year -- dare I say it was even better than when he was five? (#fiveforever!) He is kind and responsible and funny, and while he remains a true introvert, he is ever more out of his shell. He likes public speaking, and he is proud anytime he can be in a leader role.

He is doing pretty well in school, working hard enough to make decent grades, but not so hard he sacrifices precious Pokemon chatter time. He loves science and math, and loves reading history and biography books. It's taken me years to convince him that novels (or any fiction) are also a delight, but finally FINALLY he is very super crazy into Harry Potter, is partway through the 7th book, and talks about almost nothing else these days. In classic Nathan fashion, he spends hours in internet rabbit holes about fan theories and movie castings and behind the scenes info, and lost in Pottermore fandom, and he thinks it's very important that I tell you here that he's a proud Hufflepuff who thinks fairness, justice, loyalty, and inclusion are the most important things (this is actually delightfully accurate about him).

These days he says he'd like to be an architect when he grows up; he spends lots of his time building and designing all manner of things with his legos and sketching and any boxes or tubes or bottles or other crap he pulls from the recycling bin. (He might or might not have a tiny hoarding problem in his room.)

He also loves watching Master Chef, Jr, and has been harboring some serious cooking desires recently. He wants to try new foods and learn to make them, and we don't even know what happened to our little baby who only ever wanted to eat bagels, and now requests lunch dates so he can have some grilled salmon which we never really fix at home. He delights me in surprising quirky ways, and I love seeing him become more and more himself.

He has become surprisingly (to us! we didn't see it coming!) athletic in the last year, thriving at soccer, making a good effort at basketball, and swimming and running faster than many kids his age, despite his small size (he's still the tiniest kid in his grade). He had two bad scooter spills this year resulting in a few (minor) fractures and injuries in his wrist, elbow, knee and hip -- and spent most of his spring in a leg cast, wrist brace and sling. He was discouraged at the time, but has recovered with no problems and is back to normal now.

He's still playing his cello, and has buckled down and really worked hard at this year; we are officially impressed by what he can do. And! He can now match a pitch, singing! We also never thought we'd see that day. :) He loves choir at church, partly because he's suddenly a great singing leader, and partly because as one of the older kids, he has lots of chances for speaking parts and reading at the front of the church, which he loves.

He and Anneliese are still chummy with each other above all others, but are learning to branch out and be social with their own peer groups and also with Charlotte. They've had a few moments of pain together this year that were hard to watch, but also good to see them grow and learn.

Nathan is still the tiny adult in our family, classic oldest child: doing a funny dance between needing to be a baby with snuggles and back scratching and coddling -- and acting as grown up as possible, bossing his sisters and generally trying to manage everyone and everything around him (I seriously have NO IDEA WHERE HE GETS THIS *ahem*). He's helpful, sometimes to a fault, but we love about him that  he always takes initiative and looks to see what others might need or want. His toddlerhood excellence at empathy is manifesting in new and caring ways, and we are so proud.

Happy almost-ten to our wonderful, serious, funny, loving, bright baby boy. Watching you grow for a decade has been the greatest joy of our lives.

Back To School (All Three!!)

Welp. Sweet Charlotte has officially started kindergarten.

I don't know how it's possible that all three kids are now in school, and yet. Here we are.

She's doing a half-day kindergarten (the same one Nathan did), since barely-5 is not old enough in my mommy heart/eyes to send her to public school downtown all day. But even at just a half day, it's kindergarten and oh man my heart. All the feelings.

The big kids had their first day when I was in Peru. Fourth and first!

Happy back to school!

Nathan at Almost Nine

Nine years ago today, I woke up eager to read the new last final Harry Potter book, and eager to meet my unborn baby, but hopefully not at the same time. (Was secretly worried my  labor would interrupt my Series Ending Feelings before I could finish.) (It didn't.) (Was also not-so-secretly worried that I wouldn't even know I was in labor, doing that awkward 40-weeks mental dance of "pee or broken water?" because the end of pregnancy is so glamorous.)

I can't believe that was nine years ago.

It no longer feels like yesterday, exactly, but it also feels like... well, not like nine years. And if this is what nine years feels like, then I can't believe I only have nine left. He's halfway out of the house! Which is not a ridiculous mental milestone at all so bite your tongue.

Today* he's a full-on big kid, doing big kid things, like reading Harry Potter himself. (Yes! Novels! He reads them now!) (Sometimes!) (He still would choose a biography or fact book nineteen times out of twenty.)

*Well, today today he is not doing any big kid thing or reading any books, because he's battling down a barf bug as I type this. Having a big kid means that when they're sick, you sit ten feet away at the computer and listen to them dry heave while you write a blog post about them. It's both easier and harder than having a sick baby.

(Oh who am I kidding. It's totally easier.)

He's a good sick kid though. He's rull pukey in general when he's sick, so he's kind of a champ at it by now. If one of the kids has to be barfy, I'm glad it's him. Which is a weird thing to say about him at this milestone juncture, but it's organic to our day, so, there you go.

Besides A+ barfing, which I feel like I should stop talking about now, Nathan is doing really well these days. I was told that eight would be as good as five, and I think maybe it has been. Eight is much less moody than seven, and much more helpful, and much more worldly.

He needs me less than ever, but when he does need me, he needs me bigger. If that makes sense. When we do encounter rough patches, it's not about whining or potty training or grabbing anymore, it's about honesty and sneakiness and work ethic and bullies and the balance between fitting in and being doggedly confident in who you are. Raising tiny humans is no joke, and we are constantly flying by the seat of our pants, especially with Nathan, because the oldest kid is always throwing stuff at you you didn't even know you didn't know, didn't think of to think about. Parenting: not for the faint of heart.

He is still doing great in school, although he's right in that space where from a teacher's perspective he is fiiiiiiine and doing his work well enough, and not causing trouble, that he flies under the radar a bit when he's not doing his best, because it's still good enough. So we have had a lot of conversations about not half-assing his schoolwork, and not rushing to be done, and not practicing only the parts he already knows just because they're more fun to play, etc etc etc. How do you teach an eight-year-old the intrinsic value of hard work, especially in a reward-saturated world? That's not rhetorical, I'm really asking. TELL ME IF YOU KNOW PLEASE FOR REAL.

He has a handful of good kids at school that he buddies around with, and a handful that make me purse my lips, which I assume is about normal and will always be the case. He goes to a super diverse school, so he has friends from all continents and many religions, and is becoming a person who knows how and what to ask people about their heritage, his cultural curiosity unstifled by the fear of being offensive, because he is in relationship with all kinds of kids. I've admired him several times when, for instance, he sees the Asian man playing as a guest violinist from church, and he is happy and friendly to walk up to him and ask him about his instrument, or if his family is from Korea or another place in Asia - and what unfolds is a perfectly natural conversation that isn't about race but also doesn't shy away from it. He takes in stride that some of his Muslim friends pray several times a day during school, or that his Sikh Indian friend wears a turban. He just... casually knows a lot about a variety of things, as we all do about our friends, I suppose, but it's so cool that he lives it and is growing a kind and nuanced language for something we, as a culture, struggle to do, or at least to do well. The kids are all right, as they say. (They give me hope.)

 His favorite school work is science, for sure -- he is curious about the world and nature and animals and astronomy and matter, and loves being able to build some tool or model that will help him test an idea. He also does math extremely well; I kind of can't believe how quickly his little brain can grasp a new concept and be able to apply it. He still likes to read a lot, but mostly for fun; it's not something he seems to want to push himself on. He likes writing stories but prefers... reports. "This is an informational text about x," he tells us on the reg. (It's usually a historical ship, or an animal; yesterday, it was a commodities report about how some virus is affecting coffee beans and the world might be running out of coffee; this is information he thought I would like to know.)

He loves legos, if anything, even more than he has in the past. He is less and less married to the idea of keeping his creations together as they look on the box, and increasingly into making his own designs, or replicating designs he sees in the real world. His need to build things extends beyond legos and now includes a variety of trash, which he raids from the recycling bin, and I am constantly having to gently* urge him to remove the coke can boxes and coffee cans and Gatorade bottles from his room, where they are inevitably taped to each other and to rocks and strings and folded paper, because that's a dinosaur habitat/ ship yard/ new solar system/ airport/ lemur rescue center DUH MOM CAN'T YOU SEE I NEED THAT. (*What, I try.)

Nathan is so independent and helpful at home; he's definitely the chore workhorse of the three kids, and helps his sisters and both Mark and me, so much. He fixes his own breakfast and packs his own lunch (and often helps the girls with both those things) and fancies himself a budding master chef, so he loves to help with dinner too.

He loves his cello and his choir at church, and he loves running. The big kids do a track club every Friday morning before school, and he often gets a couple of miles in, which impresses me. He's also become quite a fast swimmer this summer, which blows my mind a little. Two years ago he couldn't swim at all, and now he's one of the fastest in the pack at his swim meets. He just looks like a swimmer in the water; it's the most athletic thing we have ever seen him do, and it's fun to see him grow in confidence with it.

He's still one of the smallest in his grade, less skin and bones now that he is getting stronger, but still just... short. We've been saying for over a year now that he's due a growth spurt at any moment, but it keeps not coming. So.... yeah? Any day now? I guess? Or maybe never.

He loves minecraft. He films himself talking to the camera for his "youtube channel, please subscribe!" (which is locked to everyone but him, but he can dream of his internet superstardom if he wants). He sends lovely heart-feelings texts and emails. He has a teenager voice he uses to talk on the phone. Has spent the year obsessed with Pokemon, so the current GO trend is blowing his mind and providing some good Daddy-kid bonding time to be out exploring. He plays fine alone but still clings to attention from Anneliese, which often wanes these days, because of Charlotte's equal demand and more interesting (to her) playtime ideas. He is bossy and firm and kind and generous. He remains sensitive, and is easily hurt and offended. He saves his silly side for people he really trusts. He is ever more self-assured, and no longer scared of real conversation with new people, even adults. He is polite and witty and full of fun! facts! and loves studying the giant world atlas that hangs over his bed.

He is a wonderful person, and now I need to go wipe his face with a washcloth and scratch his sicky back and offer him some ice chips. (He's patient zero. Pray for us.)

We love you, sweet Nathan. Happy due date, you excellent human, you.

Responsibility. How Do I Teach This? No Really.

Okay so, question:

How do you teach a kid to care about something they... don't care about? That's to say, how do you make a kid be responsible?

Because here's the thing: if we make them be responsible for a thing, then, by definition, they are not responsible for the thing. Because we made them. Which is the opposite of them being responsible for it.

Y'all, we are in a Season with Nathan. He is so bright, and so compliant, and also his head is in the clouds right now. He's just careless, on almost all fronts. His teachers have made a big deal about them taking personal responsibility for homework, no hand holding, no reminders, and are working on teaching them how to use a study agenda. All of these thing make my little planny heart just sing. Yesssss teach them to do it. Yes! YES!

But.

He isn't doing it. He forgets his homework packets, then forgets his agenda, then forgets to turn in his homework packets, then forgets to get new ones, which days to take carpool home instead of the bus, then forgets his glasses, then rushes through a math test and fails it, then loses his homework folder (and agenda).

And when we ask about it and follow up and say (ad nauseum) YOU are responsible for getting it done, it is no one's job to give it to you or ask to make sure you got it, it is YOUR job to find out what you need AND to get it. YOUR JOB he is just... full of excuses. He asked but no one answered. He asked but someone said look at the board, but the info wasn't on the board.

I just. WHAT IS GOING ON.

I am going to pull my hair out. The words we are saying (not our job! your job!) are not sinking in, or if they are, they aren't enough to make him care.

How do I raise a kid to know that there is not going to be a personal invitation for him to do what he is supposed to be doing?

So in the early weeks of this, when we told him he needed to do all his homework for the week (do it and turn it in and get his new packet) in order to earn screen time for the weekend, he sneaked behind our backs when we had a sitter and played a computer game anyway.

And then lied about it.

Oh my god, there were tears.

And yes, we have worked through various consequences and rewards and such, trying to balance the notion that he has to earn privileges, with also avoiding him digging himself into such a behavior/reward deficit he can never climb out, and so just gives up.

He just... doesn't care. I am tired of caring more than he does. He is perfectly responsible and totally on it when it comes to stuff he cares about, but apparently right now homework isn't one of those things. He only cares when he feels in trouble. (Or, if he's reminded, he's perfectly happy to do it.) But I don't know how to move from that "on fire" moment of him wanting to smooth our displeasure, to him caring about it when no one is managing it for him, besides just... letting him crash and burn.

Which we did. He still does not care. (Failed a math test. Barely noticed.)

I feel super powerless about it, which I am. And I should be. It's his thing. But it's so important to me to convince him, somehow, of why he should care and feel responsible for things that are assigned to him. It's hugely important in life. And isn't this our job as his parents? And so, I feel like I am failing him right now.

My dad's advice on these things is always: just wait it out. Almost everything is a phase. Almost everything passes.

So I am trying to tell myself he is barely out of the first month of school, it's an adjustment, he will figure it out and begin to shoulder this stuff on his own, if I keep backing away and let him. Even if it means watching him stumble a few more times before he gets it.

How do I balance assuring him that I will always be here when he falls, with also being clear I'm not going to swoop in and prevent the fall from happening?

I am going to read this book everyone recommends, (which sure sounds like it espouses everything I think I believe about the kind of parenting I want to do), and cry some frustrated tear at both Nathan and myself.

Parenting: I'm always a little bit in over my head, yknow? *sigh*

First Day of School!

Welp, the big kids are off to school. Nathan is in third grade, and Anneliese is in kindergarten, and I am... verklempt.

Look at them! They are such big kids! How did this happen?? I feel like I even had an "extra" year at home with Anneliese, because she's so much older for her school year than the others. And still, it wasn't enough. I miss her.

My heart is squeezed very tight, and my thoughts are across town in her little classroom, and my memories are full of this whole first era of her childhood that's... over. Yes, she is still a child, yes, I will see her all the time, etc etc etc I KNOW. But it really is the end of an era, and that always comes with feelings. Feeeeeeelings. Capital F. You know.

When she was born is when I officially stopped working and became a stay-at-home parent, and now we are entering a season where I will start work again, in some capacity, and there is still so much unknown and unplanned but it really just feels like an era is ending.

Anyway! Brisk clap! Look at this sweet picture of the two of them three years ago, on Nathan's first day of kindergarten and Anneliese's first day of preschool. They are the same! Yet so grown up! Yet still my babies!

2012 and 2015

OH MAH GAH Y'ALL. My heart.

Brb I need to hug my last baby at home and cry weepy mom tears and wait for the bus.

(The bus came. It was the best part of Anneliese's day, she said. After all those years of waving to Nathan, she finally got to ride with him.)

Anyway so yeah. School is back. All the other moms can throw a party but I'm not there yet. Someone send me a hug and a cookie please kthx.

Lasts and Library and Church and Feelings: Summer Begins!

Occupying my brain space this week:

1.) Nathan has learned to do some farting noise thing with his hand and his knee-pit, and it is making me batty.

2.) Mark and the girls have been doing random dance parties in the living room the last couple evenings, and the most recent version seemed to be Ace of Base. Everyone should be so lucky as to have a co-parent who helps teach children the important things in life. (I'm being absolutely sincere.) (Picture me with heart shapes in my eyes.)

3.) Our public library has had a long-standing policy that your fines will max out at $10. Like, however much you owe, $10 will clear it all out. So for years, I have just... left it at $10. I don't pay it, they never ask, and it never gets higher, even when I keep books out overdue. (Yes, I know, I am terrible, shut up.) So anyway they just re-did their website, and I logged in to request a book, and suddenly I owe like... a lot more than $10. What happened? Did the policy change, or just the website? I'm skeered. (Update: just the website changed. I paid the whole giant debt with $10. And yes I paid it because I decided I feel bad about it.)

4.) I have hard church feelings. There's not a one-sentence way to boil it down, but maybe... feeling unsettled in what place I have right now? Anyway. I am taking a tiny break from choir, partly to avoid some toxic people and feelings (which usually I am great at avoiding and handing out grace as I pass by, but these days feels hard), but mostly so I can go worship with my family, in the pews, without dragging them into the chancel with me (which they do, gladly, but it has started to feel complicated) -- and thus try to reframe church from being a thing that mom and dad need to go to, where they get dragged along, and back into a place that's also for them, where they are wanted and needed and valued and belong in their own right. It has gotten out of balance.

5.) Last week was a horrible sad time with my family, and we will be burying my Grandpa this weekend. He was old but it was also fast, and I feel exhausted of the emails and planning and I need some room for my sadness, and I will have more to say about him and his life later, but now I don't have the bandwidth for real words about it. We miss him. It sucks. He was wonderful. He was my last surviving grandparent. He was a good man, in the least trite way one could possible use those words.

6.) Last week I had my last day with Ali. (Well, not my last day. She is still my niece and she better come over here and swim every weekend so I can see her.) But my last day as her daytime caregiver. It has been a heck of a year juggling four kids but most days I think I did it well, and I will have a bond with her forever because of it, I hope. She is a funny sweet energetic bright-eyed little girl, and it has been an honor to be amongst the first humans on earth to truly know her, and love her. I am also glad for the empty summer stretching before us, with lots of time for the kids before Anneliese starts her school years and I go back to work. It's both/and.

7.) Speaking of last days, Nathan had his last day of school yesterday and he is done with second grade and he is still so tiny and still my baby and what is even happening?? On Friday they did a "wax museum" biography project where they dressed up as a person from history and gave little prepared speech about them. Nathan was Walt Disney and he was ADORABLE.

Walt Disney and George Washington were great friends, didn't you know?

And Then March Happened, Apparently

That thing where you are months behind so you just post a lot of random thoughts, because people like that better than carefully crafted themed posts anyway right? Hi, welcome to the March (waaaaaay later than March) edition of I Don't Even Know What This Post is About.

Okay so the most important thing is that my sister had a baby! After a pregnancy lasting forty weeks plus four months (she is a dolphin, you didn't know?) (ask me how I know about gestation length of dolphins anyway *side eye*Nathan*) she delivered her third son (yes THIRD) (yes, her oldest is Charlotte's age) (yes, she would accept any of your prayers for sanity) and anyway, meet my newest nephew Everett! He is perfect.

Also! Ali turned one! ONE! I can't believe it's been a year. I love her so much.

The weather got warm and the girls had been asking Mark to plant something, so he took them to pick out flowers and some veggie seeds, and he pulled some dying shrubs out of an area near the pool, and they turned that space into a little garden.

The girls are totally taken with it. (Nathan too, although mostly he is too cool to act like it.)

Oh! Speaking of cool ("cool") Nathan also did a weather project where he needed to write a report including a media/visual component about some weather phenomenon. He chose monsoons. He did a good job researching and writing the paper, and then he made a little video to show why monsoons can damage houses even if you put plastic on your roof, like some people in monsoon-prone areas have to do.

I'm not sure this video actually proves anything, other than he likes to build with legos (and make videos), but it still tickles me. You know you want to see it. Right?



Another random Nathan thing, from the grocery store one night: "Hey this is the same kind of bread Jesus ate! You can tell by the shape!"

(Pretty good endorsement for Kroger, yes? JESUS HIMSELF ETC ETC.)

Hmmmm I... have no idea what else happened in March. Let's look at some pictures.

Anneliese, wearing a lot of colors, and not one but two headbands, including one with a donut on it, because obviously:

Me with all the kids, taking a walk on the greenway, proving once again that it is difficult to get very many people to look at the camera at once:

Charlotte, looking half teenager and half baby:

Perfectly reasonable outfits for a Target run:

And! Marky made me a brownie in a skillet one night when I had a random hankering, and he sort of made it up from a boxed mix, and then he throw ice cream on top, and it was delicious. You know how some things are just exactly what you had a taste for, except even a little bit better? He wins everything.

We ate it on the couch in front of Netflix, because we are good at being grownups.

(Late) Holiday Orchestra Concert

Nathan's school orchestra holiday concert got delayed in December, for reasons I can't remember now (and probably didn't care much about even then), so it waited until January. I mean, who doesn't want to hear beginning string students play Jingle Bells, in any season? (I'm not being sarcastic. It was and is delightful.)

Rosining your bow is very serious business.

I won't post a million videos; I'm not That Mom (yes I am). But here are the two he was most excited about and wants me to post. (Pay attention, grandparents. There will be a quiz.) (Nathan is on the end, in the second row back of cellos.)

Ode to Joy, which he told us at least a thousand times is a very important piece of classical music:


(Click here to watch the embedded video above on YouTube.)

And then Frère Jaques, which he wants me to tell you is a Big Deal because they are not all playing in unison but different instruments have different parts and that is very important! (Zomg adorable.)


(Click here to watch the embedded video above on YouTube.)

What does it say about me that I have become a person who LEGITIMATELY ENJOYS listening to this? Only a mom, right? (But... not because I'm his mom! At least, I don't think so? I really like it! I do!)

The Great Puppy Catastrophe Challenge

As this post goes up, I am (hopefully!) sleeping laaaaaaate on a Friday morning in a warm bed in the cold great white north of Minnesota (it better not be white, but when I checked the forecast I saw a snowflake and pretended* not to see it) (*tweeted about it, pretending not to see it, while actually freaking out a little bit). A weekend away! Y'all, it has been rough here for the last few weeks. I need it. And in the meantime, here have a blog post about Nathan being in a play!

Yes, a play. Nathan. OUR Nathan. IN A PLAY.

(I wish Mark and I had posed for a selfie a few months ago when Nathan told us he wanted to pick drama as an elective. Because... what? Conversing with other people is not the most natural thing for him anyway, but... on a stage? In front of other people? We were something close to shocked.)

But it has been great! He not only had lines, he had a lot of them! And he did them well! Apparently there is something to be said for budding thespianism to turn a kid into a more confident public speaker? We'll take it.

(And we remain grateful for a school with cool choices like this. A safe place for a kid to try something new that he/we otherwise never would have pursued or even suggested.)

Anyway, his class play. It was written and acted and decorated and designed by second graders, which is pretty clear once you know the basic plot synopsis, which is something like this:

There is a king of Candy World.
The king's jesters give him some puppies for his birthday.
Some robbers steal the puppies, luring them away with bacon.
    (Nathan was the head robber.)
Some secret police spies already knew who took them.
The find the robbers and arrest them.
They decide who keeps the puppies by hosting a trivia game show.
    (Go back and read that last part again. A GAME SHOW.)
The king and his jesters win the puppies back!
They outlaw the robbers to Planet Bully.
They shoot them there on a rocket.
But rocket trouble lands them back in Candy World.
The robbers go to prison instead. FOR LIFE.
The end.

Cast photo. (Yes, Nathan seems somewhat tiny these days.)

So, yeah. It was something. (Anneliese was riveted. She and Nathan discussed the finer plot points and character details afterward. She clearly understood it better than Mark and I did.)

And then we went out for frozen yogurt and Nathan re-lived the most important and taxing parts of his role. Yes really. *ahem* drama queen *cough cough*

Can we all just agree that when he wins his first oscar, we'll be glad I wrote this blog post?

First Day of Second Grade

Nathan started second grade today, y'all. SECOND GRADE. Every year I am all-caps shocked that he is a year older, a grade ahead in school, etc etc, and I am going to go ahead and assume now, three kids and seven years into this parenting thing, that that will never stop.

SECOND. GRADE.

(He spilled hot chocolate on those yellow shorts he was so insistent on wearing for his first day, which he also insisted on putting on before drinking said hot chocolate, even though someone super smart *ahem* advised against it, and fifteen minutes before we took this photo, there was a little bit of eye rolling and laundering-by-baby-wipe-and-hair-dryer, but it worked out okay. For his shorts. Which he loves. So.)

So he was very excited and easy about his first day, but he did want me to drive him. And then he wanted me to come in with him (Mark is out of town so that meant parking several blocks away and schlepping all four kids inside, which went better than I expected, actually), and then he was a little teary and wanted extra hugs, but then he was excited and fine again.

He has a desk! Inside which he can put books and notebooks and and and! (Not just a table.) His favorite friend from last year is in his class again, and his teacher-to-be is on maternity leave, but I am trying to have faith that the interim situation will be sorted out and he will be none worse for the wear. And in the meantime, desks!

So we got him settled, and then I buckled the other kids into the minivan, instagrammed a picture of him, and drove through starbucks with my back-to-school tears, because I am a mom cliche.

SECOND! GRADE!

School's Out! Let's Do Summer Stuff!

Nathan is finally (finally) (FREAKING FINALLY) done with school for the summer, which means we are all officially on break! Finally!

(To me it felt like it took forever this year. Can you tell? With all the snow days, they kept adding then taking away then adding back extra days in the last weeks, and since it was several weeks after the girls were done, it just felt like it stretched on and on and onnnnnn. But we're done now. Yay!)

Nathan was surprisingly melancholy about his last day. We kept talking about his last day and summer break in our excited! happy! voices, but he reminded us several times that even though summer break is fun, it means first grade is over, and his time with that teacher and those friends is over.

He smiled for one last bus stop picture but was sure to tell me that he felt both sad and happy at the same time, and isn't that weird? Haaaaa nope. Totally normal. And you are so so your mom's kid, my sweet boy.

So! Now that school break is here, want to see what's on this year's summer bucket list? (With contributions from all three kids.)

SUMMER BUCKET LIST 2014:

1.) Eat at that place that is like a cafeteria. (K&W.)
2.) Swim in the pool.
3.) Make a geo animal.
4.) Plant some plants in our garden. (? So... plant a garden?)
5.) Make banana swirl.
6.) Get a new King friend car.
7.) Go to the beach.
8.) Play with Ali a lot.
9.) Go on donut dates.
10.) Go to Montreat.
11.) Paint something.
12.) Learn to swim.
13.) Write some books.
14.) Make friendship bracelets.
15.) Go to art camp.
16.) Go to lego camp.
17.) Call people, but like on the computer.
18.) Read chapter books.
19.) Learn to play a real song on the cello with the organ.
20.) Go to the zoo.
21.) Have sleepovers with glow bracelets.
22.) Play ring around the rosie but like a tornado.
23.) Go to the airport for a picnic and maybe ride a plane somewhere only if they let us.

(Nathan also came home with this version of a bucket list he made in school. Apparently he would like to hit up both Disney World and St. Croix before he goes back in the fall.)

(He dreams big, I'll give him that.)

School Picnic, Slightly Angsty Version

All the first graders at Nathan's school had a class picnic at a neaby park, where all the families were invited, and let me tell you how it wracked my nerves on many many levels:

1- hundreds of first graders walking on ehhhhh-type streets, to said park
2- park is open to street/public/cars/escape on three sides
3- way too many adults to know whose presence is legit/not
4- waaaaay too many kids to keep track of
5 - PLUS SIBLINGS!!

I mean, look at all this! Stressy, right?

But when you put aside those angsty things, I guess it was a lovely fun picnic? I mean, the kids liked it, so maybe I should just loosen up?

Everyone got their faces painted -- when we got there, Nathan ran right up to Anneliese and grabbed her hand to get in line for it; he had already checked to make sure the lady knew how to do rainbows. All together now: awwwwwww.

Also look! LOOK! When we go out during the day, there are four babies now (!!) FOUR BAYBEEEZ. So. That means one of them gets to lie on her back and look at the sky. She's cool with it. You can tell by the look on her face.

And one sweet pic of Ali and Uncle Mark, because it makes me smile:

Snow-Delayed Valentines

Happy Valentine's Day, Wake County!!

The kids finally got to take their valentines to school and church today. They were excited, especially Nathan, who I always forget loves Valentine's Day more than I remember. An excuse to make cards for people he likes, telling him he likes them? He is all over it. He has been making valentines for weeks. I myself have received several already. I'm not sure if it's true, but he claims to love me more than a handful of t-rex stickers covering the paper heart they were stuck on. (That's my version of smug these days.) There are still several valentines for various people floating around upstairs that I should probably find, now that I don't have to hold him off on delivering them anymore.

Anyway.

For their school parties, Nathan and Anneliese had cards I printed online, because what they said they wanted doesn't exist at the grocery store, and I'm not trying to be all super homemade. Print, cut, attach candy, done.

Spinosaurus valentines for Nathan, because obviously:

Rainbow valentines for Anneliese, because OBVIOUSLY:

Owl valentines for Charlotte, because they were in the one-spot at Target, and *I* liked them:

The big kids had fun putting theirs together, but Charlotte was less than helpful because SHE'S TWO, although she did like handing me stickers and talking incessantly about them. And she pronounces valentine like bamentime, so I am happy to make as many silly cards with stickers for her fellow two-year-olds as she wants.

Happy heart day, late! Especially to my own favorite bamentime Marky!

Six and a Half

Nathan is very suddenly six and a half, which is weird because I had barely wrapped my brain around him being six, and it is becoming clear that he is really and truly, for real life (as he likes to say) reneging on his agreement to stay five forever. WHAT THE WHAT, NATHAN.

However, at six and a half, he is still (mostly*) delightful. (*Six is moody. He has bad days. Of course.) He is quite shy until suddenly he feels comfortable and gets chattery (although he glares if I call him either shy or chattery, so).

He is helpful, sweet and playful/bickery/playful with his sisters, and incredibly generous with a kind thought or compliment. He loves showing people love, and he is good at it, in the best ways a child can be. (And I adore this about him, clearly.)

He likes dinosaurs and puzzlies and patterns, and facts/trivia about animals and nature-y things, and he will talk about them to anyone who will listen. Also sometimes when we aren't listening. He likes yogurt and pbj sandwiches and hot chocolate and gummy fruit snacks. He loves to draw and write. He has capital-o Opinions about many of his shirts. He gets excited when he can wear ties, like Daddy. He still likes building with legos, he has an up-past-bedtime reading habit, and he has become a pretty fast little runner for a kid who took a healthy season of forever to decide he could walk.

He likes to send emails and write people notes and cards. They are full (full!) of exclamation marks. He is learning a little more on the computer but is still contentedly clueless (read: Mark and I are content) about phones and other techy stuff. He does know how to turn the TV on and find pbs kids, which our saturday mornings thank him for. He can make his own breakfast and pack his own lunches, mostly. He does his homework happily and quickly, which I know is no small thing and believe me, we do not take it for granted.

He frequently brings us new taped and stapled papers he has turned into books -- about music and math and people he knows, and occasionally* (*HA HA HA HA) a dinosaur or two makes an appearance. He loves to quiz everyone around him (including his sisters) on what plus what equals what. (We all need to perfect Charlotte's raised-eyebrow blank stare in response to these questions.)

He tells terrible jokes which are really just nonsensical questions with no punchlines. Why does YouTube have a face? ...And that's it. No follow up. Just the question, followed by lots of giggles. Ummm that is not a joke, buddy.

Oh and speaking of YouTube, we taught him that he can enter almost anything into the search box there and find a video about it, so he has therefore logged hours and hours of fossil documentaries, slideshows of toy cars with japanese subtitles, dinosaur sketches shown over rock music soundtracks, and every Jurassic Park trailer, twice* (*gross under-exaggeration).

Y'all, it blows my mind how bright he is. He is blowing through chapter books and asking insightful questions about them, and working through math ideas with a creative approach he definitely didn't get from me. (He still has not solved the Rubik's cube. I know someone will ask. At some point he will realize he can ask YouTube how to do it, but he hasn't yet.)

He is ever more clearly an introvert, and ever more clearly a sensitive creature, a being of feeeeeelings. He hates hurting people, but he also hates apologizing. He shuts down in the face of emotional conflict. Like, completely shuts down. He loves snuggling and back scratching, and when words and conversation evade him, he needs to be physically close to feel emotionally close. He has a very clear sense of what is fair (and not fair), and while it doesn't always line up with what we think is fair (or not fair), I like that he cares enough and is observant enough about the world and other people to have his own ideas about it.

He still does his track/walking club before school on Fridays, and taekwondo once a week, and he sings in the children's choir at church (where Another Nathan is finally finally his director, a moment I thiiiiink they have both been waiting for since oh I don't know, 2009-ish). He has started in orchestra at school, where he now knows the proper names for the strings on his cello and is learning to legitimately read music. (He freaking loves that cello. Loves. It. WE HAVE TRIUMPHED AS BAND GEEK PARENTS.)

So yeah, that is Nathan, at six and a half. And we love him so.

"And the other one right here is Q."

Nathan has officially started in orchestra at school! I should probably wait until he knows how to play a song (or at least hold the bow) before I post a video, but when he got his cello out the other night to tell us about his class and pluck it for us for the first time, I did whip the camera right out, and I am not sorry, because LOOK AT THIS:


If you can't see the embedded video, click here to watch it on YouTube.

Okay so he might need to work on the names of the strings. Whatever. IS CLEARLY A MUSICAL GENIUS. This right here is why band geeks fall in love and make babies -- so that said babies grow up and pluck tiny cellos* and make their parents melt.

*Is it cellos, or celli, by the way? Who knows. Brb still melting.

Rough Week? Merry Charlotte! And Daniel!

 It has been a long week.

Some of it was fine and fun, but lots of it involved COLD weather (and school delays, and therefore all-day-behind delays), Mark working late evenings and extra days, both girls being sick (Anneliese got diagnosed with p-neu on the 3rd -- it only took three days for our family to fail at my 2014 goal of no pneumonia, #nomonia I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO HASHTAG THAT B!TCH), several super naughty and frustrating mornings, a day of hard Jan 9th memories, oh and then a shooting near Nathan's school that ended in a lockdown (everyone is fine! had nothing to do with school! all is well! but it sure didn't make my week BETTER), and yeah I don't have many cheerful funny things to blog about right now. But I was looking at Christmas pictures and this made me smile, so HEY! If you're having a rough week, look at Charlotte! IT HELPS!

Charlotte and a big Daniel and a little Daniel (and several of Daniel's friends which you can't see inside that purse) are settling in for a Christmas day nap.

Several weeks and several rough days later, and yep still merry.

Ten November-So-Far Things

Scenes from our November:

1.) One of Anneliese's favorite things is having "coffee" with me in the mornings. It's just hot chocolate powder in a cup, and I run water through the coffeemaker to make it. Takes twice as long as microwaving, but she loves it ten times as much. That's your parenting math pro tip of the day. (I add a lot of milk to cool it off.)

2.) My favorite summer Charlotte onesie dress has now become a fall tunic with jeggings, and I might like it even better, and hey I am getting kinda good at this wardrobe stretching thing.

3.) Anneliese's birthday outfit also got a fall update. "Mom look I found my purple tights! And Nathan helped me put my skirt on! And my orange coat is in the rainbow tooooo!" Well, I... yeah, I don't know how to argue with that.

When I am out with Anneliese, especially when she creates looks like this (the child has never met a color combo she doesn't think looks super together, no joke), people often comment how I must love hanging out with such a bright and colorful kid. Yeah, I don't know how to argue with that either.

4.) Nathan's sweet Tiger is also still enjoying his birthday party outfit, a month later.

5.) Mark made me fried bananas, a holdover Dutch-by-way-of-the-Indonesians dessert from his childhood. His mom used to make them for us in high school when I was over there for dinner (read: making out). So fried bananas taste like memories and kissing to me.

6.) Charlotte calls these her kitty PJs. Panthers fans everywhere are either awwww-ing or in outrage. One of those.

7.) Nathan has been asking for the pipe organ episode of Mister Rogers every weekend since we were at Montreat (where he saw a photo of Mister Rogers in front of an organ and announced I've never seen that one! Maybe it will be the next one that comes on!) (SPOILER: it has never been the next one that comes on). Finally it occurred to me that I could just maybe find it online, and yep, there it was, ready to be streamed on Amazon.

He watched, entranced, grinning at the special shoes and the pipes and the crawling up into the casing (is that what that's called?) and the magical internet joy of finally after months and months, seeing something you have wanted to see. Best $2 I have spent in a while.

8.) Anneliese isn't always super snuggly with me, but she suddenly is with Mark, and I am simultaneously jealous and melting from the sweetness.

9.) Nathan's bus comes home every day right when Charlotte is finishing naptime, and she is often awake standing on her bed, watching for him out the window. My friend Miranda said this is really cute my day but would be super creepy at night (she totally does it at night too).

And in case you had forgotten how creepydorable age two can be, she also sometimes gives us a puppet show with her animals.

10.) A few weeks ago, Nathan finally earned his necklace and first foot in his before-school walking club thing; after his laps were all added up he had passed the landmark five miles or whatever. He is pretty proud. And cute.

And that's November so far.