2015: We Walked on a Frozen Lake So Nothing Else Even Matters

{I wrote this on New Year's Eve, but I was in a funk and never posted it, so it's getting posted months later and I'm not that sorry. Happy New Year! ish? I guess?}

What did you do in 2015 that you'd never done before?
     We walked on a frozen lake! We were terrified and amazed! (Yes really, just ask Tinytown Sarah and her husband.)

So basically this was on January 2nd and we might as well have called 2015 a wrap after that, but I did some other new things too, like:
- drove halfway across the country with all three children, and back by myself with them!
- listened to audiobooks 
- got progressive lenses for my old lady eyes
- spent the night in a hotel room for no reason other than alone time (was glorious)

How did you spend New Year's Eve? 
     Sadly we did not get together with David and Another Nathan as we have for many years, since Clemson finally made it to the national championship game (go Tigers?) and Mark and I have had a long understanding that when/if this moment came, he would go. And he's going! To Phoenix, next week.
     Which means this weekend, we are home in Raleigh. We took the kids downtown to one of his company's office buildings for a 7pm "family hour" ringing in of the new year with fireworks. Now I'm fiddling on the computer and maybe we will watch a movie or new years rockin dicken clarken whatever at midnight. Woo!

Did you keep last year's resolutions, and will you make more for this year?
     Last year, I said I wanted to get a real job this year. And I did! I took a copywriting job earlier this fall and I hated it and resigned within six weeks, and then an opportunity came up to do similar work to what I did before the girls were born (a sales job, travel, in the non-profit sector, negotiating contracts with airlines and vendors for people doing mission trips, disaster relief, service work, humanitarian aid, etc). So far it's going okay but it's very new. 
     This year's resolution is but one: find the balance at home. With our jobs and our marriage and parenting and and and, we have been in upheavel/transition since Mark started his new job almost two years ago, and it will break us if we can't find the balance. FIND THE BALANCE. 

How old were you on your birthday, and what did you do? 
     I turned 35, and it was a fun lovely day. We went to worship as a family, and Nathan did his first communion that morning. Then Mark and I had a nice dinner date while Another Nathan was in the air flying down to see me after his own worky Sunday, and made me my most favorite birthday peanut butter pie. I ended the day feeling happy and so loved. Mark and I had a great visit with him that week.

Where did you travel? 
     We took a HUGE family road trip across eleven states and 17 days, and it was wonderful. Mark and I also went to Mexico for a fantastic kid-free getaway. And I went to Seattle in April and got lovedrunk on friend time! Oh, and a girls weekend for the Hoopla in Illinois in September, and a road trip to see my brother near Savannah that month too!

What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015? 
     Balance and heart-shaped feelings on the home front. A fancy new master bath. Jeans that I love. A pretty laptop bag. Sleep, all the sleep.

What would you like less of in 2016? 
     Upheaval at home. 

What dates from 2015 will remain etched in your memory? 
     March 20th, when my newest baby nephew Everett was born. July 30th, when we embarked on our road trip. November 30th, when I started back to work.

Whose behavior merited celebration? 
     At the top of the list, my dad, who becomes a better and better human with each passing year. He came to our house and lived here for a week so we could go to Mexico! He did all the things! ALL THE THINGS. 

I don't know very many (read: any) other grandpas who would single-dad three kids in two different schools for a week, alone. He is wonderful for that and a million other things, but that one is fresh on my mind tonight.

Whose behavior appalled you? 
     (Hmmm, a blog-palatable answer? *side eye*) People who push a pumpkin agenda in August.

Who did you miss? 
     My Grandpa Bumgarner, who died in June. His big 90th birthday celebration we had planned that month didn't get to happen. Suddenly I miss all my grandparents. I officially have no grandparents, and it's weird and sad. Another generation, passing on. 

Who is the best new person you met? 
     Everett! Look how sweet he is! 

What was your favorite show? 
     Frasier. Oh hush, you're not too good for Frasier. Knowing I was going to Seattle in April, I watched the whole series starting last winter. I don't watch a ton of TV so it took me most of the year, but I love it and I'm not sorry. Mark and I also cried like babies at the Parenthood finale, and we still like watching The Mindy Project together. Also! Kimmy Schmidt is pretty darn funny.

What was your favorite book this year? 
     I read A Little Life, by Hanya Yanagihara, and it was amazing. Really troubling content, told deeply and beautifully. This is a lifetime best book for me. I also really loved Lila by Marilynne Robinson, and I'll Give You The Sun by Jandy Nelson. 

What was your favorite movie? 
     Okay this will sound dumb, but Trainwreck. It's funny, it's sassy, it's sweet, and it has THE MOST satisfying end to a raunchy romcom I can ever remember seeing. It's an easy fun movie. Watch it. You're not too good for Trainwreck either. I promise.

What was your biggest achievement in 2015? 
     Oh lawd I don't know if I ever achieve anything that's worth anything, but I did spend some time this year sewing felt into delightful objects, like these cupcakes and this penguin. Totally counts as an achievement, by my math.

Your biggest failure? 
     I remain sleep broken, although there is a new kind of med on the market that works by dampening the awake part of your brain (instead of activating the drowsy part) (yes, those are two different things) and so maybe I'm improving little by little? But mostly I just can't ever sleep well and it suuuuucks to be a sleep failure. Coffee me.

Where did most of your money go? 
     Medical bills, mortgage, taxes, school tuition, Starbucks, plane tickets.

What was the best thing you bought? 
     Plane tickets, to see friends and have getaways in various places around the country. Getting away and outside of my real life and the routine is kind of a pain for planning, but is absolutely worth the effort and expense. It's so much easier to come back to real life if you've had a mental break to fill up on rest and friendship (or romance)!
     Also a new computer! Our broken B key finally found its inner channel to Satan himself, and wouldn't stop typing, so it was like bbbbBBBBBBBBbbbbbbbBBBBBBB and you couldn't even, like, reboot it or turn off the keyboard before it was accidentally overwhelming the laptop with BBBBbbbbbbBBBBB commands. It was terrible. Of all the things to crash a computer! Anyway we have a new one and I can type just one B now. See? b
     Also I bought this airplane bag. You need a fun airplane bag. Trust.

What political issue stirred you the most? 
     Marriage equality. It finally happened. What relief and joy! I cried real tears.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept this year? 
     I have no fashion concept but this year I did dye part of the underside of my hair teal, and I freaking love it. It's subtle when my hair is down, and fun when it's up (most of the time) and it just makes me happy. 

What was great this year when you weren't expecting it? 
     Giving the kids an allowance. I thought this would be a pain but was a necessary Learning Thing, but it turns out it's adorable to let them shop for things themselves when they have a finite limit of what they can get (and therefore what they ask me for), and it's kind of the best.

What did you get really really excited about? 
     Seattle! Winter was long and tedious and icy, with all four kids (including Ali) and I so needed that break in April. I read all the guidebooks and counted down the days, and it was just a wonderful time away with friends.

What song will always remind you of 2015? 
     Shut Up and Dance. Remember when someone made this amazing compilation video of cuts of famous movie dance scenes? That sold me, and I didn't mind hearing it on the radio all summer after that, including a new energizer at Montreat involving moon boots (and a choral version under a sermon that delighted me!) - it's a fun song in any format.  

What kept you sane? 
     Sunshine breaks, group texting, phone dates, coffee, kiddie snuggles, getaways, medication, therapy, and hahahahaha okay I'm not sane y'all. But lets pretend all these things mostly worked, kinda, maybe.

What valuable lesson did you learn this year? 
     I have none smart thoughtful takeaways about this year or life right now. I just don't, We did learn, though, that New Year's Eve without our favorite NYE buddies makes us sadder than we thought and let's not do that again if we can help it.

(Charlotte's biggest achievement of 2015 is her angry eyebrows. Girl's mad face is ON POINT. Happy New Year, etc.)

17 Days, 11 States, 1 Giant Road Trip

Well! Two Four months later and I have finally finished adding pics to the (now backdated) road trip posts from our lovely trip this summer. It was WONDERFUL.

Links here!

Days 1-2: North Carolina: my Grandpa's house, Tweetsie Railroad

Days 3-4: St. Louis: Cardinals game, religious art, a riverboat ride, and did you know the arch is made of metal??? My mind was blown.

Days 4-5: Rural Illinois, including a prairie park (yes that's a thing), and then Iowa, all the corn, Field of Dreams, oh and also we slept in a caboose. And broke into a zoo.

Days 5-6: Wisconsin Dells, yes it's a real place, yes for real, I know it sounds fake but it's real. Very waterpark. Many kitch. Much delightful.

Days 6-11: MinneEFFINGsota, Take Four: the one where I post pics of tractors and grain bins on my blog. And also Northfield, Another Nathan, popcorn and beer, St. Olaf, waterfalls, adults on swings, and Charlotte Booler's fourth birthday! Oh and saying goodbye to Marky. Sad face.

Days 12-17: Southbound! Including me drinking a beer on Hillary's Cincinnati porch swing, and the kids riding boats at Lake Wateree, with surprise appearances by my dad and also Emily! AND THEN WE MADE IT HOME.

Hoopla

Hey remember when I said I was all traveled out? I lied.

I decided a few weeks ago (at the last minute, because I am tacky, apparently), even though the rsvp date had long passed, to go to a ladies weekend slumber party at Amy's house in Illinois. I am super glad I went.

Picture from Sarah, whose superpower
is getting tons of people in one selfie.

It was a weekend of drinking champagne in plastic cups, fun food, shopping, listening to heart stories from sweet friends, gabbing into the wee hours, watching Matt Bellasai videos on a projector screen, talking about Adult Things, and proving to myself that I can still sleep later than anyone else in the house, even on a shared air mattress, even when said house is full of more than twenty women and two babies. I... really enjoy sleeping late.

I also taught some more people to look at the dot. My evangelism continues.

And I managed to sleep all night without disturbing the Tums that Sarah thought should rest on the air mattress between us, because I don't even know.

I convinced a few ladies that I don't care anything about vampire television so if they could just show me the steamy parts that'd be great kthx. (They did.)

And I washed my feet in a bathtub with my friend Emily who I have known for years but only met in real life that very day, and who is delightful, and who apparently was only using our bathtub date to win some game of hoopla bingo that she didn't even fully understand the rules for.

Grown up lady slumber party: RECOMMEND.

Why I Can't Blog

You know how sometimes there's this big chunk of bullsh!t in your life that isn't bloggable (or in my case, several not-major-but-still-unbloggable-bullsh!ts) and because you can't blog about that, but it's IN your life, and it COLORS your life, you can't seem to blog about anything ELSE in your life either?

Nothing major happened. Swearsies.

I just have ongoing Stuff (annoyances, not even real stressors) (but that still aren't fit for public consumption) (although YOU, yes you, I will email you anything you want to know, I love a good vent or rant) and being too venty on the internet seems rude, but not mentioning it seems dishonest, and I used to do a great job (to me) (if I say so myself) (brushes shoulders) of treading that line just fine, and balancing it well, and I'm not sure I'm good at it anymore.

Anyway, lest this sound like the blog version of vague-booking (it's not! NOTHING BAD HAPPENED, I'm just crazy busy* and easily annoyed, apparently), I will stop. And just say hi.

I just wrote a (fun) ranty email and it made me miss blogging. So, hi.

I am getting caught up. It will be bland, because.

Three months is the longest I've gone without blogging. I have so many things started and half-written but waiting on pictures or complete sentences or lots of deleting of profanity (or deletion altogether). But maybe I can get back to normal.

Oh and also I had some teal dyed into my hair, because a Lady of a Certain Age needs to have more fun in her ponytail, amiright? Here, a picture:

(*If you look at my Goodreads list you will see I'm obviously not that busy. But please no comments about how it "must be nice" to have so much time to read because just no.)

Get To Know Me Questions

Okay, for Am Doing My Best, here is a random non-family-update thing to blog about, and it was fun! And now I want everyone I know to do this too!

If you were on an island, who would you want to be with? Why? Mark, duh. He's my super co-vacationer. Wait I'm not on this island forever, right? I get to come home and see my kids and friends and family? So yeah, on the island, Mark and only Mark.

If you could witness any event past, present or future, what would it be? Ooooh the nativity, I think. Or the making of the Sound of Music in Austria in the 1960s. That makes me sound like a total heretic to mention those next to each other in the same answer, but yeah. There it is.

If you could learn to do anything, what would it be? I am a good musician, but I have always been sort of sad I can't play the piano. So, that. Or fly, if we are being implausible. Who wouldn't want to be able to fly?

If you had to change your first name, what would you change it to? Gretchen. I've always kinda felt like a Gretchen. Yes really.

If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would do? Pay off the mortgage, pay for my family's mortgages, buy one fancy gift each for my favorite ten or so people, and then go on vacation. Maybe to that island we just talked about. (That is the first, second, third, and fourth things I would do, because I'm not a rule-follower and also I am wordy.)

If you could be any fictional character, who would you choose? Hermione.

What do you want to be when you grow up? HAHAHAHAHA

What was the last movie, TV show or book that made you cry or tear up? I cry at almost every book, and literally every movie (Mark and Another Nathan can vouch for that. I cried at Ted. TED for crying out loud. I hated that movie! Yet, I cried sappy tears) but I think the last book I cried at was Eleanor & Park, and the last movie I cried-cried in, tears-in-my-neck, snot-soaked sleeves, was Saving Mr. Banks.

What do you miss most about being a kid? Oh, this will be heavy, but I do miss my mom and dad and sister and brother all living in one house. It feels like some level of whole that is very hard to re-create as an adult, although with my own husband and kids now, it is getting there.

What story does your family always tell about you? My sister swears up and down that I told her Hitler lived in our toilet and would come out and get us when we flushed. But I did not come up with that, and I know I didn't, because I was scared of it too! (We were odd children; I can see this now.) I really thought she told me, but she's 32 now and legitimately insists she didn't, so I believe her. Maybe it was the product of someone's bad dream or something and what was one scary idea turned into a joint childhood fear. Or maybe we just watched waaaaaaaay to much of The Sound of Music. Regardless, we believed it, we became experts at the flush & run, and our family still talks about it. HITLER. IN THE TOILET.

What is your dream job? Travel writer. Pay me to take a trip, see new sights, eat new foods, meet new people, notice things to form opinions about them, and then write all about it? Yep. Sign me up.

What cause are you willing to fight for? Correct usage of apostrophes. It is my hill to die on. (Also, equal marriage rights for all people who use apostrophes correctly, regardless of sexuality.)

What was the last national park you visited? Buck Island off St. Croix, where we went snorkeling last year on my brother's wedding trip. Fun fact: it is the only national park that is completely underwater! (Also I am a traveler who is full of fun facts! You definitely want me on alllll your national park trips.)

What was the first thing you learned to cook? I made a lot of hamburger helper for my family when I was a kid, does that count? The first thing I learned to cook cook as an adult was this peasant pasta with sausage and peas I learned from watching Rachael Ray on tv in the early weeks of my marriage. I watched a lot of Rachael Ray on TV in the early weeks of my marriage. A lot.

What book can you read over and over again? A Little Princess, Where the Red Fern Grows, Harry Potter, A Son of the Circus, The Poisonwood Bible.

Did you ever work at an on campus job? Heck yeah I did, I was a happy minion in the music department office (before minions were adorable animated movie characters). I learned important things like: 1- how to make a pot of coffee that doesn't piss off the organ professor, 2- there is no problem that can't be solved by sticking a post-it note on something else, 3- most grownups a generation ahead of me are scared of computers, 4- how to lie talk to prospective students/families about opera and dance programs that didn't really exist at my school 5- to never ever under any circumstances staple a check to anything, ever, especially not a band/orchestra camp application. I can haz mad office skillz.

What was the first concert you went to see? Richard Marx! It was so so awesome. I am not even being sarcastic. I also saw Boyz II Men on Valentine's Day in eighth grade with my (gasp! tenth grade! scandalous!) boyfriend. And his parents. Which was also awesome and that is also not sarcasm.

Who is someone from your past that you are sorry you lost track of? Oh, lots of people. I am all for looking someone up when I think of them, but the ones that can't be tracked down, even online, kinda confound me. The first one that comes to mind is Hank, one of my best buds on foreign study in Germany. Weird we went through this awesome transformative thing together, bonded over our young engagements and similar book tastes, and shared snacks on night trains and laughed til we cried at the automated lady on the phone cards for calling America. We stayed close through the rest of college, and then we got married (on the same day!) and he fell off the face of the earth. Sad. He was smart and fun and lovely. Still is, I'm sure.

If you could see 24 hours into the future what would you do with this ability? Go nuts, I think. That sounds terrible and exhausting. It would send me into a panic of trying to control everything (even more than I do now!) and oh my geesh, suddenly I am very very very glad there are some things we never get to know or predict. YIKES.

If you had it to do over again what would you study in school? I majored in English (with a double major in German) (HASHTAG USEFUL), but I think if I did it over I would do something more writing-ish. Yes, more than English. Like something more about journalism or media or design/communications. That stuff fascinates me now. Actually wait I take it back, I loved my years of reading books and writing papers about them and getting a degree for it. What am I saying? That was super.

What do you know how to say in a foreign language? Lots of things! Want me to write this blog post in cluttered German? Because I can! At one point I could also say "would you please take our photo?" in fourteen langugages because I am That Traveler, and fun! facts! are not the only thing I can offer to a vacation. (Mark rolls his eyes and then feels super glad we have a the pictures, so.)

What was your first paying job? I babysat as a teenager, and then spent my adolescence as a lifeguard, but my first paying job in the "real world" was a sales job for a company that arranged non-profit travel (disaster relief, humanitarian aid, mission trips, that kind of thing). It wasn't what I thought I was looking for when we moved to Raleigh, but I loved the lady I interviewed with and I loved the company's vision (originally borne of the Mennonite church which was odd but lovely) so I took the job, and was so glad I did, because it turns out I am totally good at sales. Not in a schmoozy gross way (I know the word "sales" is a big turn-off to a lot of people) but in a listening to what people need, smart at creative logistics way. I was good at it; my clients liked me and so did my company. I don't mean to sound douchey, just saying it was a great job for me. I did it for like six years, til Anneliese was born, and I would do it again.

(Edited: I just remembered I totally had a job in the "real world" right after we got married, a sports shop in Clemson, where I was hired to something something implement bar codes something men's section buying choices blah blah blah it was retail with a crappy cranky boss and it was not my favorite, but through sale samples, Mark did start to achieve his lifetime goal of owning All The Clemson Shirts.) (Said lifetime goal has since been abandoned.)

What is the strangest food you have ever eaten? I am not a super picky eater, but I also can't think of anything truly weird I have eaten. Once when we were on foreign study in the Netherlands, Mark made me eat a whole pickled (raw? I can't remember) herring drenched in raw onions. It was... not good. (Another Nathan says this is where I should admit I ate food in China that I couldn't identify, which even if the food itself was normal, is apparently not a Normal Person thing to do. So there's also that.)

When was the first time you saw the ocean? I am guessing before I was even a year old, and suddenly I am sad for people who might have a definitive memoried answer for this. Or maybe jealous of them, for having it be a noteworthy memorable experience? I love the ocean, I love the beach, I don't recall ever not knowing what it was or what it was like. I'm a Carolinian so that's to be expected though.

What is most memorable about your high school years? Laughing a lot with my awesome band dork friends. Being completely in puppy-love (and then real love!) with Mark. Constant muscle soreness from swim practice.

What word describes you best? Emotional. I feel everything, everything, like really really feel it. It is sometimes exhausting, but most of the time it is connective and good. I think. I hope? It means I love people really hard, and I wouldn't trade that. So, good.

And Now, September. Whoa September. Simmer Down.

Well, September came in like a lion yesterday.

It started out mostly normal. Nice, even. I went to church. I had a lovely easy coffee and lunch with a Montreat friend. I snuggled with Marky all afternoon. I caught up on blog stuff at Starbucks (America's Office™).

Wait I need to interject here: why don't I take my computer and type in coffee shops more? It is awesome! Another Nathan talked me into it (it was not a hard sell) and we walked through youth choir plans for the year, and he did some conference and worship planning (mostly it's just easier to work when he has the motivation of a new computer) (like anyone) (the computer's name is My Precious, if you're looking for a way to get him to roll his eyes at you #psa), and I returned emails and wrote a little and I felt so mom urban trendy! Typing in a Starbucks (America's Office™) is way better than typing at home. Not because I need to. Just because I can.

"Are we in New York right now?" -Another Nathan

(I'm doing it again today, writing this. Because I am coffeehouse-typey indulgent like that.)

Okay so anyway that's not the lion part.

So after our business/church meeting at Starbucks (America's Office™) we all decided we wanted to go to dinner and a movie. No work today! That means DO something last night! Mark has had a hankering for Chili's, which is not normally the Grownup Dinner Out we would use babysitting hours for, but whatevs, we all like it, so we went.

And. It was a rainy stormy floody windy disaster all over Raleigh, so we had to drive around our ass to get to our elbow, to avoid roads blocked by cars stuck in standing water, and avoid getting stuck ourselves, and then were drenched by the time we walked the six feet to the restaurant entrance, and then the power went out right after we ordered.

Being IN A BLACKOUT AT CHILI'S is what I'm guessing the beginning end of the world might feel like.

Well after devouring a bowl of (free) chips and salsa and downing two (not free!) (even in a blackout!) (they will hand write you a tab, yo!) beers, we decided to give up on the movie, to turn down our server's offer to "grab some food that's already made in the kitchen, not sure what it is and we can't guarantee it'll be warm, but..." (YUM), to ignore the melodramatic proclamations of a fellow diner insisting we were flooded on all sides and couldn't get out of the parking lot if we tried (shut up, we're on a hill), and headed back out into the mess towards...

Another Chili's.

Oh yes we did.

So we made it there, all in one car (we abandoned Another Nathan's at the first Chili's, as one does when one is foraging for food in an armageddon) and we drank more (not free) beer and finally finally (after the world's slowest service, which our server seemed to be proudly smug about somehow anyway) ate our Chili's dinner and I HOPE YOU LOVED EVERY BITE MARKY and I also hope that you love this story, which, let's face it, will now be re-told anytime we eat there. Be ready. (Not that we'll eat there again soon. Not for a while. I mean.)

And that should be enough for this blog post BUT OUR CLOWN-CRAY EVENING KEPT GOING.

So we got home and paid our (new) sitter and brought her home, AND THEN we couldn't find Bowden. Like, anywhere. We searched the whole house and we woke up all the kids and we went out back in the wet mess with a flashlight under the decks and we drove around the neighborhood. Which was sort of pointless because she could have been anywhere -- we didn't know how long she had been gone or when she could have even gotten out, or how spooked she might be from the storm (very) and, just... OH MAH GAH it felt awful. We looked for hours.

Eventually, through my tears, I filled out lost pet forms with the county SPCA, and put a note on craigslist, and some website helped me make a printable flyer, the sight of which almost made me throw up. (I was planning to post it here right now, but suddenly... no.) I was sobbing and felt sick.

We went to bed feeling so worried and upset and not knowing what to do, yet feeling like we needed to do something, but resigned to waiting til the light of day. We kept reminding ourselves of her tag, her microchip, her size, all optimistic factors in someone finding her and approaching her and getting in touch with us. But in the meantime, bedtime not knowing where our pup girl is? Barf.

A little after 2am when I still couldn't sleep, I drove around again, crying and yelling her name out of my window (stay classy, dog moms of Anderson Heights) which was of course fruitless. It ended with me sending panicked texts from our church parking lot, through tears, to people who could do nothing and weren't even awake (xoxo Mom Ashley Brad Dad Another Nathan). And then finally crawled back into bed and slept the kind of sleep that only comes after crying yourself to sleep. We have all been there, right? And yes it was that bad.

But in the wee hours in the morning, I heard Charlotte in her room (up much earlier than normal) saying  Bowden's name. Over and over. Like, with a purpose. So I went up there and listened and looked and finally found that sweet pup trapped in the back of a closet, stuck behind a dresser. (We recently filled Charlotte's closets to the brim with all her drawer-accessible furniture because HOLY TODDLER BED FREEDOM MESS, BATMAN.) I guess it's where she went to hide from the thunder, and somehow got shut in by our (new) sitter who wouldn't have known to watch for anything like that, because who would?

And suddenly Bowden was out and down the stairs and the big kids were wide awake and Mark was stumbling out of our room and Charlotte was clapping her hands gleefully.

I was so freaking relieved and so freaking exhausted.

Someday this will be funny, right? The night I went into a panic spiral about our missing dog, who was missing in our own house?

She is back* and we are glad.
(*always here. whatever. still glad.)

So, happy September?

On a less-lion note, yesterday also already brought an opportunity for a nap-creeping selfie, since it's Mark's everyone's favorite thing. I thought I got him good this time; he didn't know I did it til hours later. But then when I showed him he didn't mind it at all, because all he saw was how great his arms look and it made him feel hotter than he thinks he really is (pssssshhht).

The moral of the story is if you want to make your husband feel hott, take secret pictures while he is sleeping. And this advice comes from a sound well-rested person who has had the most normal weekend ever, so it's definitely probably advice worth taking. (Everyone! Send me your husband nap creeper pictures!)

Almost Six: HI My Blog by Nathan

{Royal baby or not, to me July 22 will always be Nathan's due date. Happy almost-six to my sweet baby boy! I was going to write an update on how he is doing at almost six, but he has been working on this for a month, he said last week he was done, and I thought this would be a good time to post it. So, here you go: baby's first blog post!}

The titel is HI my Blog by Nathan

HI my Nam is Nathan i m Email a blog.

My brthae is Just a feu mare days. i will be six yers old. my brthae pRtey will be a dinosur poul pRtey weth six frends boys and grels!

i Love Rex. Rex is fun he is my vare sof t-rex. he is my fevrit toy i can Have 1 speshal toy that is not for to shar. Mr Roger said that. Allso Tiger is my speshal fevrit toy that is not for to shar.

haveing tow sistrs is fun! Ther Nam is Annelieses and Charliett. they aer pritete and smart sistrs i Lik to hug tham i can pik up Charliett isNt that so fune! Charliett sez her Nam is nite nite isNt that so fune!

My fevrits things are LEGOS and dinosurs and plaenets and puZelz. My fevrit sho is Daniel and Super Why and the cat in the hat nose all abowt that! and dinosur traine.

We seed a snake owtside but it was not peosnus my mom hit it weth the shuvL. 

did you no that astro nots war Diprs in Spas! isNt that so fune!

If you cant find some Thing jus thingck Like a Skewrl! Becus Skewrls can all ways remembire and find ther Akorns.

By Nathan!

A Whole New Internet. Sort Of.

Happy July! (A tiny bit late.)

I am driving down the interstate right now, typing this on my computer. (CHROME BOOK WOO HOOO!) Which is connected to a wifi signal, being broadcast from an app on Mark's phone. My phone is plugged into the chromebook, so that I can upload pictures from my camera roll to this post. Aaaaaaand we are feeling a little techy-smug right about now.

Yay internet!

Okay so I have been wanting to post about all the things that are making my internet feel like a whole new place in the last several weeks. (Even aside from today's episode of insterstate blogging.) Besides the new chromebook, which is proving every bit as awesome as I had hoped (and I will post about that too at some point), look at these other new shiny things!

Feedly. Like everyone else, I went into a mourning state when Google announced they were killing Reader. I definitely cried real tears. Every night for a week. This is not an exaggeration for the purposes of making a point, I ACTUALLY CRIED. (I might have had pms.)

Probably a full 75% of what I read on the internet (news, friends' blogs, churchy articles, comics, recipes, photo streams) came via my Google Reader, and I wasn't sure what would happen to my cherished internet reading habit when it went away. Would whatever I replaced Reader with be as good? Good enough that I would actually use it? I am here to say YES and YES.

Feedly is where it's at, y'all.

Full disclosure about my uninformed opinion: I didn't try any other options. Feedly was the first thing I tried, mostly because the phone app is just beautiful. Yes, I am that person.

See? Beautiful.

So I synced up my Google Reader (this was back when it was still active and I had that option, #RIPgooglereader) and it imported everything I was already following, and grouped it into my same categories. Lovely.

And then I played around with the features, and y'all! It does so much! So many helpful things! It walked me through how to do some "spring cleaning" and remove feeds that don't update any more. I can save display settings for each category (or individual feed) based on the type of content coming through -- to view just a list of titles, or a title with thumbnail, or a few opening sentences, or a grid of large pictures, or the whole post itself. This is a customization feature I didn't know I wanted, and now I love it. Oh and also it has an option to be all Furman purpley in the background. Yes please!

So after playing around with it and using it for several weeks, I kinda think... *whisper* I like it better than Google Reader. (Heretic! Burn me at the stake!)

Screen grab of Feedly. See all those blogs I am fully caught up on? YEAH. THAT.

My one complaint about it so far is that my email button doesn't work on my computer, so if I want to send a post to someone, I have to just open gmail and copy/insert the link to the post itself. Google Reader was way better in that it could send the entirety of the post (with pics) right from where I was reading it. (Feedly does this just fine on my phone and on my chromebook. I'm not sure what's happening on my computer but I'm not ready to blame Feedly for it just yet.)

So, Feedly. If you consume as much internet writing as I do, you want it.

Falcon Pro. Okay if you think I lost my sh!t when they killed Google Reader, you should have seen me the day they killed the TweetDeck phone app. The thing is, I love twitter, and I really love it on my phone. (Tweetdeck still exists as a chrome extension, which I use on both computers as often as I want twitter on a computer, which is... not often.) So to replace Tweetdeck on my phone, I had been through several twitter apps, including Echofon, Hootsuite, and Twitter's own app (which... why so terrible, Twitter?) and I couldn't find one that did everything Tweedeck did for me, and as smoothly.

Here is what I wanted: to be able to control more than one account (and set different notification settings for each of them) mute certain users or hashtags, save lists and hashtags I do want to follow, see full conversations connected to a tweet (including history AND @-replies; so many apps do one but not the other, why why why), and have my own tweets and starred favs no more than a couple taps away. Asking too much? APPARENTLY SO.

(Those of you who aren't on twitter just curled into the fetal position and vommed a little. If you even are still reading, good job.)

So after reading a crap ton of reviews and asking a million people what they used/liked/didn't like, and installing/uninstalling several apps and their various boosters on my phone, I eventually got to Falcon Pro. It has a dumb logo and a dumb name and it seems to have a cult following among people who are, well... odd. And I say that without any judgement because all those odd birds were right: this app is great.

It does all the stuff I said I wanted, plus a few other things I didn't know I wanted but now can't live without -- MOST NOTABLY, it opens its own mini browser when you tap a tweet, so you can read a linked article right there in the app! No more opening other pages to read! THIS INCLUDES INSTAGRAM PICTURES. I would honestly have used it forever ago, just for that mini-browser feature alone. Totally worth the $2 I paid. Or, $1.68 or whatever random price it was. (See? Odd.)

Also, it has a dark screen. Which is a dumb thing, but I liked it about Tweetdeck and I like it here too. It saves battery! And is easier on my eyes when I am lying in the dark trying to twitter myself to drowsiness. Yes, that is a thing. I promise.

Falcon Pro: HIGHLY RECOMMEND.

Oh! And I didn't want this post to be super long or too boring but since I have already failed at the latter I will keep going and risk the former as well, so --

Pocket. My other other new (to me) internet thing is called Pocket, which saves articles or links to be read later. I have a Pocket button in my browser on the computer, and it is listed as one of my "share" options in my phone -- "add to Pocket."

It syncs between devices, so you can save stuff to read from anywhere, and go back and read it from anywhere. Even offline! This has saved me from cluttering my email with links I send to myself to read, which means I can now see my real emails AND REPLY TO THEM, so... that's a win.

In my perfect internet world, I wish Feedly had some sort of Pocket integration so I could get all those things right alongside the sites I already subscribe to, but... that doesn't exist yet. (They didn't ask me.) (They should have. They always should.)

Um okay I think I am finally out of things to say about this. Oh and sorry for all the actual photos of my phone. I don't think there's a way to easily do screen grabs on Androids (if you know, please tell me!)...

*Sigh* ... And right when I was feeling techy-smug.

If I could Make an Internet PSA

My internet friends are super cool and I love them all to bunches (especially you YES YOU). And they're totally worth making a little PSA to help them with their online habits. So, here are some issues I would tackle if I could ever make said PSA:

1.) Stop tweeting your protected instagrams. The only people who can see it are your instagram followers. Who will see it ALREADY, because they follow you THERE.

2.) Y'all, we have got to talk about the difference in phase and faze. Your kid is going through a phase. If your kid takes something in stride, he was not fazed. You look dumb. Stop that.

3.) If your kid is five years old, you don't need hyphens to say that. You only need hypens if you're making it an adjective, like saying you have a five-year-old kid. Stop that too.

4.) I can't believe I still have to say this in 2013, but turn off captcha for your blog comments. It's why you don't get any comments. True story. 

*4a.) (Helpful tip: if you're worried about spam, just enable comment moderation for anything over, say, a week old, which will be the VAST MAJORITY of your posts, and will therefore cut down on the VAST MAJORITY of your spam.)

5.) Turn your iphone camera the other way FTLOG.

Hm my PSA might be a little snarky. I mean it out of love. If we can just stop with that protected instagram tweets thing, I can make peace with the rest. Love you all. Smooches.

(In other news, I might or might not be full of first world problems.)

What's Up With Nathan?

So. Blogging about Nathan is getting tricky, because the moment I knew would come someday has arrived -- he understands that I am telling people stories about him. He gets it -- that mommy can type some things and add a picture, and then people can see it.

And while the instagram and facebook likes feed his smiles like they would any budding internetter of the new millenium, he is also feeling a bit shy about it. He hates that word (and he might hate that I am telling you that he hates that word) but, the truth is he's at an age now where he does get a vote about what I tell the internet about him, which... is not everything.

And I respect his vote.

Some days he is begging me to take his picture and share something, and some days he puts on his quiet voice and asks me not to tell. It seems we have entered an era of me running it by him before I share his bizniss. Which is fair, and we're all cool with it over here, so... cool? Cool.

In that light, here are some things Nathan says it's okay to "type to the internet" about:

1.) For his last art project of the year, he made a robot. 

It likes to play the organ. Because of course it does?

2.) He was a rabbit.

The kindergarten classes put on an opera ("opera") about the billy goats gruff, but starring girls, so it was technically the Nanny Goats Gruff, and Nathan had the crucial part as a member of the rabbit family. You can't see it here, but he also had a cotton tail on the back of that t-shirt. They sang and they did the bunny hop, but not with the music, even a little bit. It was wonderful.

3.) He is playing tee ball.

Mark is predictably thrilled. Nathan is surprisingly good (at hitting) (and running) (it turns out five-year-olds are all terrible fielders). And he is unsurprisingly adorable. You should watch this and then try not to smile at the look on his face when he runs to first.


(If you can't see the embedded video, click here to view it on YouTube.)

So that is (some of) what is new with Nathan.

5 and 10 Things: Irritating and Impressive

So. A few weeks of bloggety hiatus. Want to know how our January is going? Let's just jump right in:

Things kinda irritating me:

1.) The broken B key on my computer makes me want a whole new laptop.
2.) Really really early mornings. Over it.
3.) Especially when they involve a three-year old who thinks chapstick is for wall art.
4.) My wheezy cough that has made it hurt to breathe for the last week.
5.) The weird weather. First I hated the mugginess, then decided it was okay and I actually liked being warm, then it got really cold and rainy and threatened heavy snow, then no real snow. Not that my sweet southern kids weren't thrilled anyway:

"Mommy mommy it snowed! Can we build a snowman?"
#northcarolina

Things kinda impressive to me:

1.) The childrens museum downtown, where we are now members (thanks Nick and Barbara)!
2.) Charlotte walking around everywhere, already.
3.) My new neon coral shoelaces, fashion inspiration from a certain predictable five-year-old. (Neon coral is maybe my new favorite thing.) (They're more neon in real life than this pic. No camera can appropriately capture the neon coral goodness.)

4.) The play set out back. Gifted by Opa and Oma, erected by Mark and a few coworkers, loved by all in this house.

5.) Rex, gifted by Another Nathan. I love anything my kid loves this much.

6.) Mark, who took all three kids to the zoo last Saturday so I could sleep off a church youth lock-in.

7.) Spicy chocolate with popping candy inside. Y'all, find this and purchase it. Stat.

8.) Target's selection of adorable winter sweaters on clearance.

9.) Birthday treats for Another Nathan. I made red cupcakes (from a mix), then our friend Macy made an awesome Iowa cake (she's super talented).

10.) Myself, for finally getting it up to blog again. Praise me and make me feel like I was missed mmmkay?

A Thousand Posts

If a picture says a thousand words, then what does it mean that it has taken me a thousand posts, several thousand pictures, and hundreds of thousands of words, to share my family with this little corner of the internet?

Five years ago it started as a kind of internet birth announcement, a simple way to show pictures of brand new tiny Nathan to our family and friends without bombarding everyone with emails (we weren't on facebook then... remember when babies came into the world and it wasn't a Facebook Thing? HA HA WEIRD). So this little blog was born.

And over the last five years I have sat down one thousand times and written something down about us or our lives -- fun or dumb, important or nonsense, lamenting or celebratory. A thousand times I have done this! (I almost can't wrap my brain around it.)

We started it mostly to share with other people, but now it's also totally for me. Oh, the things I would worry about if I didn't have bright encouraging people reading and sending their smarts my way. The friendships I wouldn't have kindled (or rekindled!) because of this curious thing about putting our lives on the internet. But mostly, whoa dang, the little moments that would be totally forgotten if I didn't write them down and share them.

five years and a thousand posts later:
our fun/awkward/grumpy/smiley family

These thousand posts have become an odd sort of record, or something, of what this season has been like for us. A trail of memories all jumbled up together in my beautiful mess of a family.


Here's to a thousand more.

More Things to be Happy About

So, things have been better in these parts.  For those of you who have been asking. (And thank you.) I mean, not perfect, but better.

One of the things I'm supposed to be doing when I have a barrage of negative thoughts is a cognitive exercise where I replace the bad ones with positive ones. Cheesy but it actually kinda works.  And since the last few days have been uncharacteristically (for the recent past) hard, I figured it's time for another good old fashioned Happy Things* list. Here are five more things to be happy about.

Things Going Right in My Life This Week:

1.) The gym. It's been six months and I still love it. I think my weight loss has pretty much tapered off, so I might need to start doing it for fitness instead of happiness, but for now I don't feel like getting it up for fitness. So I go to my weightlifting class twice a week where I now feel confident and strong and somewhat like I know what I'm doing. And most other days I go and run on the elliptical or stairclimber or some such machine where I can log my time and my miles while reading twitter. And wearing cute gym shoes. While the kids play happily under gym nanny supervision. Sometimes for an extra few minutes so I can do some weight machines too. It's a good gym life.


2.) My bestest friend. After a weird and fighty weekend, Another Nathan and I are back on. (Yes, we fight. Yes we're almost *ahem* thirty, which is far too old to fight with your friends, but we fight like siblings. We've made peace with it; you should too.) And in the midst of some (totally unrelated) (and kind of related) hard spells over the last few days, I'm reminded that with the tumult comes strength and safety and confidence, to have a best friend who loves your husband and your kids and your life and your Crazy and your soul. And who's a damn good Wednesday coffee date.

for those who say I never post pics of myself

3.) I dyed some green pants. This seems random.  But I had been craving green pants, and couldn't find a non-capri, non-jegging variety (jeggings do not make hott Erin) that fit well at a normal price anywhere, but then I noticed OH HEY white pants are apparently in (please don't ask me to jump on that bandwagon), they're everywhere and in plentiful variety, so I will just buy some of those and then dye them.  And apparently pinterest has made me wildly confident because I did. And they are cute.

No full-length mirrors = standing on the potty.

4.) Youth choir. It started as an extra adult on hand for a Harry Potter movie outing, and turned into my legitimate advisor-capacity involvement. It's a fun and lively group of high school girls, growing in numbers and in confidence. I look forward to hanging out with them on Sunday afternoons maybe more than I should as a real grownup, but y'all, they are fun! They're full of stories of proms and new nail polish and shoes and summer jobs and college visits, and also faith issues like what's happening in our presbytery, and talking through texts of songs we're working on. Talking and tweeting with these girls is connecting me to church in a new cool way and I love it. I remember how important my youth choir advisors were to me at that age, and the idea of a generation cycling forward resonates with me. Plus, new friends are always awesome; teenagers are extra so.


5.) Delurkers. In the last week, I've had some people making blog comments who rarely do. Yay! And by people I mean mostly MARK. You know, my dearly beloved who reads every word of every post before anyone else, yet never posts any witty commentary, has commented! Let's harness this energy into a delurking week ahead! Y'all know you want to give me more fodder for my happy lists. Delurk already! If nothing else, tell me something that makes you happy and I'll feed off your delurky gladness too. Don't make me call you out #NathanReneeElizabethRyanMelissaAdellBradJennyDavid and others. DO IT.

Okay, hard days are officially behind me and I feel better. Positive thoughts... check.

Now lurkers, delurk!

That is all.

*Sarah, Katie, Kelley, Merritt - I know you're reading this. Praise me.

Internet Into Real Life

I have this friend of a friend, Caroline.  (I've mentioned her before. Maybe twice.)  She met my college friend Hope when they were both living in Scotland a few years ago, and then she got married and moved to Africa. (You know, like you do.)

But across the ocean and the equator, we've been internet friends.

And then Caroline (and Hope, but that's irrelevant for the point of this story) moved back to the states.  To North Carolina, actually.  To her tiny little hometown a few hours from Raleigh.

I KNOW.

So... basically this means we get to be friends in real life now, too.  She brought her husband (also Mark) and two baby boys to Raleigh for a weekend, and we got to hang out and talk and visit and play and take care of each other a bit. (And take not nearly enough pictures.)

Anneliese, Asher, and Nathan -- playing at our church

Nathan even shared his friend cars (friend cars = instant bonding)!
(That's Caroline watching. It's a blurry pic, but isn't she so pretty?!)

Nathan's first sleepover!
(We'll try not to remember the part where it ended in tears an hour later.)
;)

You know that thing where you first lay eyes on someone, and hug them, and have your first face-to-face conversation, yet it seems like you already know them?  And they're exactly how you knew they would be? 

That's a very cool thing. And that was Caroline.

And I feel very sure that's why God had Al Gore invent the internet.