It's Cold. Here is a GINT Dinosaur Wearing a Scarf. (another post by Nathan)

{Nathan wanted to write a post for "his blog" (????) several weeks ago and he wrote this but I never got around to posting it. And now it is colder here than it has been in twenty years, so it's a good time for a dinosaur wearing a scarf, right? Right.}

Hi its Nathan. i made a pickshur of a TYRAANASAURUS REX if it was alive today

evryone whoud be runing for there lives!! Becuse it was GINT! and sharp teth.

i have a stuft tyrannasaurus rex his name is Rex and i sometimes i  call  him

rexey and i allways sleep  and play with him he is speshle too me. and tiger is too. and from amezon and i got a plush spinosaurus that means stuft anemal. his name is spino he is speshle too me too!  

no one nos if they got cold but if they wared a sckarf it wud be so funney!

Tyrannasaurus rex and spinosaurus are the biggist predoters. i love trex and spinosaurus they are my faiverte dinosaurs.

and i love littile legos.

BY NATHAN!!!!!!!!!

Almost Six: HI My Blog by Nathan

{Royal baby or not, to me July 22 will always be Nathan's due date. Happy almost-six to my sweet baby boy! I was going to write an update on how he is doing at almost six, but he has been working on this for a month, he said last week he was done, and I thought this would be a good time to post it. So, here you go: baby's first blog post!}

The titel is HI my Blog by Nathan

HI my Nam is Nathan i m Email a blog.

My brthae is Just a feu mare days. i will be six yers old. my brthae pRtey will be a dinosur poul pRtey weth six frends boys and grels!

i Love Rex. Rex is fun he is my vare sof t-rex. he is my fevrit toy i can Have 1 speshal toy that is not for to shar. Mr Roger said that. Allso Tiger is my speshal fevrit toy that is not for to shar.

haveing tow sistrs is fun! Ther Nam is Annelieses and Charliett. they aer pritete and smart sistrs i Lik to hug tham i can pik up Charliett isNt that so fune! Charliett sez her Nam is nite nite isNt that so fune!

My fevrits things are LEGOS and dinosurs and plaenets and puZelz. My fevrit sho is Daniel and Super Why and the cat in the hat nose all abowt that! and dinosur traine.

We seed a snake owtside but it was not peosnus my mom hit it weth the shuvL. 

did you no that astro nots war Diprs in Spas! isNt that so fune!

If you cant find some Thing jus thingck Like a Skewrl! Becus Skewrls can all ways remembire and find ther Akorns.

By Nathan!

In Which the Culprit Is Revealed

Y'all can sit back and rest from the edge of your seats now. The anonymous sticker mail is anonymous no more.

------------------------------------------------------------

from:		Ashley Grice
to:		Erin Goettsch

I can't take it anymore. I was going to hold out until you told us your (presumably) hilarious conspiracy theory, but alas. I give in. Two things* I'd love to know:
1. Exactly HOW FRUSTRATED were you? I've been so tempted to call Nathan P** and ask, but I feared he'd tell you I was behind it.
2. Did any other envelopes arrive? Should have been 3 more.
I LOVE YOU! Thanks for playing!

From Erin: 
* I ended up answering both of those questions here. To sum up: Very, and yes.
**Y'all know she means Another Nathan, right? He actually has a legit last name, outside this blog. (Also heck yes he would have told me.)

In Which the Culprit is Revealed

Dear Erin’s Readers,

Ok. I’ll ‘fess up.

Many moons ago, Erin ranted about preschool homework (her words: "I think we've well covered how I feel about preschool homework").  This was the FIRST THING that popped into my head when “Liam” got a chain letter from “Anneliese.” (Use of quotes permitted because CLEARLY the letter was from Erin to me, and the assignment could not in any way, shape, or form have been completed by Liam AT ALL.) (Not even ONE BIT.)

So, there I was. Stuck holding a chain letter. In the same boat I found myself 20 (TWENTY!) years ago. (You know what we normally do with chain letters now? DELETE THEM FROM THE INBOX.) 

There are not 6 people in my life who I dislike enough that I would actually send them a chain letter. Also, Liam doesn’t play with stickers.  But, I wanted Anneliese to get her stickers! And I wanted to get back at Erin for passing along a stinking 1990’s chain letter! (WHO DOES THAT?)

Fortunately, I have friends around the country who are more than happy to send  pre-addressed, pre-stamped, stuffed and sealed envelopes from their home towns. I sent Finn his stickers (he liked them! Yay!), then I mailed ready-to-send envelopes, addressed to Anneliese from various fictional characters, to friends around the country. 

Please note: My friends are awesome and so, so helpful!

In the end, Anneliese was THRILLED! Erin was STUMPED! The chain letter stops here!*** Everyone wins!

By the way, I have a brand-new smartphone and I no longer use T9! And I use an rss feed (whatever that means) to read blogs on my phone!  Sadly, if I read those blogs on the computer, I still type the address in the browser.

I will finish this riveting story with some advice. Should you choose to imitate this prankish project, may I suggest the following improvements:

1. Use different sizes/styles of envelopes (to further confuse Erin). I was just lazy and used what I had in the desk.

2. Have 6 different kids address the envelopes, so that each one has unique kiddie handwriting (to further confuse Erin).

3. Use different brands & styles of stickers (to further confuse Erin).

You’re welcome!

Thanks for playing along in today’s mail mystery game!

Patiently awaiting my kiss on the mouth,

Ashley

***Only your wing of it, dear sister. Besides the anonymous ones, we have kiddie stickers coming from five other arms of that chain. xoxo *mwah*

Virginia Beach Neptune Festival (by Nathan)

This past weekend our family made a quick getaway to Virginia Beach for the Neptune Festival.  But please don't ask me exactly what the Neptune Festival is.  Even after spending two days there, I honestly can't tell you.  All I know is they had a fancy (international!) sandsculpting competition, a parade, a beach with a regatta of fancy sailboats going by, and a battleship in the vicinity.  So... we went. 

And as Nathan and I have been sitting here looking through pictures from our weekend and talking about them, I realized that his stream-of-consciousness is probably the best way to write this blog post.  So... here we go. :) 

(Those of you who don't speak Nathan-ease, be warned: he often makes statements in question form.  And he still confuses pronouns, like the difference between I and you.  Good luck.) 

Is that a big sand castle? Is that Mommy's favorite sand castle?  Is that a really big tower? What kind of sand castle is that? Is that Mommy and Anneliese? Did we see a lot of sand castles?

Is that Nathan? That's the hotel! You maked a big mess. Was that a little bit naughty? Did you sleep in Mommy's big bed? Did you snuggle with Mommy?  And then mommy moved away from you.  Anneliese waked up and cried. Was that a little bit naughty?

There's a big boat! Is that a battleship? Did it have a four and six on it? What's its name?  (Wisconsin.) Wisconsin is a state.  Dr. Z* comes from Wisconsin.  Is the battleship swimming?  Where's it swimming to?

What kind of ladder is that? Did Mommy go down that ladder?  Is Mommy going swimming with the battleship?  Is that a little bit naughty? Did you get your feet wet?

There's Daddy and Anneliese! Is she sitting on Daddy's shoulders?  There's a N on Daddy's shirt!  Look at those motorcycles!  Are they watching a parade?  Was there a big double decker bus with propeller airplanes?  Don't say plane, Mommy, say airplane. Did we hear a fighter jet?  It was really loud!! I heared two** fighter jets!

*our church choir director
** more like twenty

For more pictures of our weekend in Virginia Beach (including more really awesome sand sculptures), click below on our family with the battleship.

by mgoetts

Sibling Communication FAIL

Ashley sent me this Facebook conversation between her and our stepbrother. I don't know what's funnier, Sean's jabs at my dad (he really does love to complain about having too many online accounts and emails), or the fact that he truly doesn't seem to understand the difference between snail mail and e-mail.

I kind of can't stop laughing.
(Click on the picture to make it bigger if you can't read it.)

Hope's Top 10 for Overdue Pregnancies

[My friend Hope from Furman, the lovely and talented matriarch of a missionary family in Scotland -- you don't get epidurals there! -- has been very sympathetic to my slightly-overdue pregnancy this week. Her son Cole (that's him down there to the right) was born last month, and he came a week late, as did one of her daughters. So she agreed to guest-post this list in honor of Beanie. Who, I hope, will not be nearly as late as either of Hope's overdues. Oh! And another thing about Hope -- she's an amazing photographer, as you can see... and she's on her way back to the states this fall if you want to hire her!]

Top 10 encouraging words for pregnant women who are overdue (in no particular order):

1. I’m so sorry that you are uncomfortable.
2. I’m praying for you. And then actually do pray, don’t just say that you are.
3. I hope he comes soon or I can’t wait for her to be here! Thanks, me too!
4.
...Um, sorry, turns out this is going to be a top 3 list, because I can’t think of anything else.
Now for the more cathartic top 10 list.

Top 10 things NOT to say to a pregnant woman who is overdue (from least offensive to most grievous):

1. Well, you look great. Compared to what??? The biggest waddling penguin that you’ve ever seen??? Someone so pumped full of water that it looks like they are going to explode?? It makes me wonder what I look like on a normal basis if this looks good.
2. What does your doctor/ midwife say? Um, she says that the baby is still in there and obviously doesn’t want to come out.
3. Eat spicy food. Seriously, who ever ate spicy food and went into labor immediately after? Bring on the tums, please.
4. There’s only one way for the baby to come out. Helpful… can we just get it over with already?
5. What’s the rush? Um, my pubic bone that feels like it is going to snap in half or the itchy rash developing in my ever increasing stretch marks thatstherush.
6. Are you having any contractions? I love my husband dearly and he has been SO incredibly helpful, but if he asks me one more time if I am having contractions, so help me…
7. Something to the effect of, You’ll wish you were just pregnant when the baby is 6 months old, or keeping you up at night, etc. Just don’t go there, k?
8. It’s all in the Lord’s timing. Yes, in my heart of hearts, I know this to be true, but please refer to pubic bone and stretch mark rash comment in number 5.
9. You’ll miss being pregnant. You know, I have even said this to someone who was overdue a baby. And I repent in sackcloth and ashes.
10. Is the baby here yet? NO. Seriously, if you ask again, the baby is going to be 2 years old until we tell you she has been born.

*********************

If I were adding to Hope's list, it would be the advice to have sex. I mean, it is good advice. But don't you think we thought of that already? More than once? Believe me when I say that this -- the most pleasant of at-home labor induction techniques -- was not saved as a last resort. (Mark says it's only fair, since we didn't get to "try" for this baby at the beginning!)

And I have also decided that all the women out there who feel the need to tell me how their babies were two months late or whatever... you should know: it doesn't make me feel better to hear your horror story. Did you really think it would? I am going to start charging you people a dollar -- or making you look at my ugly stretch marks in exchange -- if you really must tell me these stories.

That being said, I am only three days late so I am still trying to be a good sport, which is why I am sharing this post with tongue firmly in cheek. If you've said these things to me, I still love you and I really do appreciate that you're trying to be supportive.

And no, I have not had the baby yet.

Happy Mother's Day, Marmie!

A video guest post by Ashley and Nathan, who spent most of the weekend together:



Happy Mother's Day to our Marmie! We love you!