Things That Annoy Me About November

I am back from Minnesota and it was fun and it was cold and I will have updates and pictures later but for now I need to RANT. Because I should like November (it's my birthday month, and isn't everyone always a little bit partial to favoriting their own birthday month?) but I'm starting to like it a whole lot less than I used to. It used to be full of lovely changing leaves and some sense of calm before the holidays. But now, it's... eh. I don't know. 

Basically everything is pissing me off.

1.) At the top of the list is the Christmasification of November. I haaaaaaaate it. I know I sound like a get-off-my-lawn old person by saying it didn't used to be like this, but... IT DIDN'T USED TO BE LIKE THIS. Not that that in itself is a reason to resist a cultural shift, of course. But this is a shift that I'm scared will make me exhausted of Christmas before it even gets here, and Christmas is special! I want it to feeeeeel special. I am feeling protective.

I'm not one of those people who will go so far as to avoid Christmas music during Advent, or get cranky about putting up the tree or decorating -- for me, the excitement of those things IS part of the mental and emotional preparation for Christmas, and it doesn't feel in conflict with Advent -- BUT I will be cranky if we do it before Thanksgiving-ish. I just will. If Christmas has become a thing that takes TWO FULL MONTHS, then it's too much. That's more than 15% of the year! Just no.

Actually, wait. That's not fair. I take part of that back, a little. Everyone can be excited on their own timelines, of course. Just don't push me into it too.

It's more than just not liking it. All of the decorations and jungle bells and songs starting up on my birthday (or earlier!) makes me feel legitimately rushed and panicked and anxious.

Let me bottom-line this before anyone calls me Scrooge: Don't. My resistance to earlier-every-year Christmas is not because I hate the cheer but because I love it, the music and the food and the shopping and the bustling malls and the chill in the air and the holiday beverages. All of it. I don't want to get sick of it or numb to it before it's even here.

In related news, I bought a package of coffee today with a snowflake on it and then I got home and hated myself. Not facetiously. Yes really. :(

Okay, moving on.

2.) Movember. I don't even understand this. Mustaches? Perfectly normal men looking like scruffy porn stars? Is this a fundraiser or something? I am good at the internet, and yet! This irritates/confounds me every year. Is it even cool anymore? Can we just stop?

3.) Faux-gratitude all over Facebook. I'm all for people being thankful. But these normal-status-updates-masquerading-as-thankfulness really grind my gears. They're SO OFTEN just smug or passive-aggressive or even passive agressive. (I'm thankful my x person did x thing and doesn't do y thing like other people. Oh shut it.)

I would like to start a movement where people directly email/text/call/write people they're thankful for, or SHARE some possession or abundance they have, if they're thankful for it (instead of just being smug about having it), and anyone who humblebrags under the guise of thankfulness comes before a jury of peers. Post something about thankfulness when you MEAN it. If that just so happens to be every single day during November and zero single days in the rest of the year, fine, I will try to give you the benefit of the doubt, but I am also giving you some shady side-eye.

(It can be for another day, but we also need to have a discussion about how "blessed" is not the same as "grateful" and there is a place for both words, but if you use them interchangeably, you're very likely putting people off -- read: hurting them -- by implying you have something they don't because God loves you in a way God must not love them. Gross, right? Let's please stop that too.)

4.) NaNoWriMo NaBloPoMo (etc) I have no idea what all those acronyms actually are, but they all drive me nuts, and I cringe to even admit this because I legitimately don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but y'all, that is TOO MUCH TO READ. I love that people write! And every day! But can we each pick a DIFFERENT month to do it all? Like, hey, everyone pick a month in the season you were born, if you want to do a write-every-day project. Because if EVERYONE does it in November, it means there are TOO many posts to read, and I get overwhelmed with my feedly and I don't even try, and LOOK AT MY SAD FACE NOW. (Actually, I take that partly back too. The people working on a novel every day for a month, you keep on keeping on. That, I'm okay with. Full steam ahead, aspiring novelists. It's only the daily blogging that overwhelms me.)

5.) It's dark. Not that I dislike an extra hour of sleep in the morning, or moving the clocks back an hour closer towards what my own internal night-owl clock would like, but dang it sucks that it's so dark within an hour of Nathan getting off the bus. I know, I know, it balances out, whatever. But for the first few weeks when darkness creeps in early, it sucks.

Here is a picture of Nathan and some leaves at the bus stop, because all complainy things aside, November is still pretty gorgeous, even on wet mornings.

Wow, that's a crabby post. Sometimes I just need to be crabby, folks.

A Thousand Posts

If a picture says a thousand words, then what does it mean that it has taken me a thousand posts, several thousand pictures, and hundreds of thousands of words, to share my family with this little corner of the internet?

Five years ago it started as a kind of internet birth announcement, a simple way to show pictures of brand new tiny Nathan to our family and friends without bombarding everyone with emails (we weren't on facebook then... remember when babies came into the world and it wasn't a Facebook Thing? HA HA WEIRD). So this little blog was born.

And over the last five years I have sat down one thousand times and written something down about us or our lives -- fun or dumb, important or nonsense, lamenting or celebratory. A thousand times I have done this! (I almost can't wrap my brain around it.)

We started it mostly to share with other people, but now it's also totally for me. Oh, the things I would worry about if I didn't have bright encouraging people reading and sending their smarts my way. The friendships I wouldn't have kindled (or rekindled!) because of this curious thing about putting our lives on the internet. But mostly, whoa dang, the little moments that would be totally forgotten if I didn't write them down and share them.

five years and a thousand posts later:
our fun/awkward/grumpy/smiley family

These thousand posts have become an odd sort of record, or something, of what this season has been like for us. A trail of memories all jumbled up together in my beautiful mess of a family.


Here's to a thousand more.

Five Things You Need to See

I'm having a Day. 

But no one wants to read about my pissiness, and honestly I don't feel like articulating it for the blogworld even if people did want to read it (so there). 

So in the absence of real writing, I'm sharing  five nuggets of internetty goodness which are totally amusing me and helping reverse my mood.

1.) All you other BSC fans out there (you know who you are, the ones who didn't need to google what BSC means) -- this slideshow from The Frenemy is hilarious.  (Read far enough to get to Jessi; hers might be the best.) 

2.) This picture from failblog makes me like thirty-five kinds of happy.  Serious win.  (Even if you don't live with a Nathan, it's a win.)

3.) Astronauts tweeting pictures from space?  Yes please.  Can you imagine looking out your window and snapping a picture like this (Hurricane Earl a few weeks ago)???  And the rest of the pics are equally stunning. 

4.) For all of us who grew up in the IM and texting generation (yes, I count myself in that us! What? I'm not even thirty* yet!), this video is funny because it's true:

5.) I'm internet-famous again.  (In some internet circles anyway.)  I wrote an article a few weeks ago for a site called The Cloth Diaper Whisperer.  (Yes, that's really a website.)  The content will seem familiar, since it's mostly recycled from a couple of posts I've written here, but you should go read it anyway.  Because getting comments on other people's websites makes me feel even more important and loved than getting them here.  You want to make me feel important and loved today, right?  Especially today. 

So there you have it.  Today's post: lazy blogging at its finest.  You're welcome.  :)

*Brace yourself, I plan on saying this as much as possible over the next month.

An Open Letter to John

Dear John,

You're a rockin' awesome brother-in-law.  I am so thrilled that you're married to Ashley.  My sister is amazing, as you know, and she deserves someone as great as you.  I know that you will work hard to love her and take care of her, and that your second-shift hospital job which requires you to traipse through the house at 2am is part of that.  I appreciate your effort. 

However, I feel that the following facebook exchange, found in my news feed this week, warrants more commentary* than facebook will permit:

There are so many things wrong here I almost don't know where to start.

Ok, first.  It kind of sounds like you're defending yourself... to me.  You know I'm the wrong audience for that, right?  Offering up some sort of explanation excuses as if I would take your side over hers?  Um, seriously?  Did you really think that was going to happen?  Come on now.  Even if I thought you kind of had a point (which I don't), I would still probably take her side.  I mean, have you met us?

As you know, Mark and I have had similar sleeping schedule conflicts when he comes and goes in the pre-dawn hours for his own crazy shift work, and we've had to create out a pretty intricate system where he gets ready as silently as possible (no hitting snooze! no flushing! no snot rockets in the shower!) and then exits the house as quickly as possible (do not do dishes, do not clang cereal bowls, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars, and his jacket better already be out of the front hall closet -- otherwise known as the booming squeaking slamming door of death -- and waiting for him, or it's a chilly ride to work).  When he comes home from night shift, he uses the back basement entrance and does not cross the threshold of the floors where the children and I are sleeping peacefully.  Unless, of course, the children aren't sleeping peacefully anymore, in which case he is more than welcome to come upstairs and play with them so that I can continue to sleep peacefully.

Anyway, I bring all this up not to brag about how wonderful and helpful and considerate and silent Mark is (ok, it's a little of that too), but to tell you that I totally get the sleep-schedule-conflict situation you and Ashley have going on over there.  I do.  Which is why I can say with absolute certainty that your explanations excuses just aren't going to cut it.

1.) You sat on the bed and then took your shirt off?  But that causes so much unneccesary bouncing!  Why would you do that?? Why can't you take your shirt off standing up (since presumably you'd need to put it in the hamper anyway)?  And no, I do not want to hear any explanations excuses about your gimpy leg.  Man up.

2.) Your cell phone -- dim and stealthy?  Not so much.  I can't believe you would take your cell phone, turn it on its brightest setting, and then shine it directly in Ashley's face as she's trying to sleep (I wasn't there, but I can only assume that's how it happened, and it's your word against mine).  Why would you do that??  Mark used to use his cell phone to get out of our bedroom in the early-morning hours too, but... no more.  If a dog can come in the room at night and find its way to bed without a cell-phone light, you should be able to too.  How long have you lived in that house?  Years, right?  You can do it, I promise.  Cell phone light gets my veto.  Effective immediately.

3.) You caused a racket opening and shutting the door, and tried to make out like that was ok because you only did it once?  Why would you do that??  Even once!  Once is all it takes to wake her up!  You know if you turn the doorknob and then push the door open or closed, it will be a much much quieter process, right?  And if your doors still make that much noise, then you need to sacrifice an afternoon of video gaming one day, channel your inner handyman, and fix them up a bit.  Yeah I said it.

4.) You called her grouchy?  Why would you do that??  You woke her up, of course she wasn't in a great mood!  Besides, has calling her grouchy ever gotten her to see your side of things?  No really, has that ever worked for you?  Come on John.  Rookie mistake.

5.) Sleeping diagonally is forgiveable.  See?  I'm reasonable.  Sleep as diagonally as you want, just don't get in her way.  It's a big bed.  You can do that, right?

In conclusion: please stop waking Ashley up. There are no steps you could take that would be considered "too far" to go in your efforts in guaranteeing her a good night's sleep, so get creative!  You can do it!  I have confidence in you to make it happen.  (And remember, if you don't, someday she will bring forth into the world a magical creature called a baby which shouldn't be, but can be, used in loud revenge of this very cellphone-lit moment.  Let's not let it come to that, mmmkay?)

L,E

*with tongue planted firmly in cheek.  you know I love you.

Sibling Communication FAIL

Ashley sent me this Facebook conversation between her and our stepbrother. I don't know what's funnier, Sean's jabs at my dad (he really does love to complain about having too many online accounts and emails), or the fact that he truly doesn't seem to understand the difference between snail mail and e-mail.

I kind of can't stop laughing.
(Click on the picture to make it bigger if you can't read it.)

IronMarmie Update: Tattoo Edition

My mom got a tattoo in honor of her Ironman completion. I have three things to say:

1.) How is my coined term IronMarmie not included? Come on, now, that's my stroke of genius for 2009.

2.) Does she mind that I'm posting pictures of her tattoo on the internet? Doubtful (see # 3 below), but I'm sure she'll let me know.

3.) How is it possible that I knew nothing of this, until I found out on Facebook? I don't know whether to be more shocked that mom got a tattoo, or that I FOUND OUT ABOUT IT ON FACEBOOK.

It's a strange planet we live on, y'all.

Miscellaneous Nostalgia Update

In some ways this has been a lonely week for me. I've gotten all weird and reflective and "foolishly sentimental" as one of my favorite college professors used to call me.

WORK - I am winding down at work, and while that's overall a good thing, it's still sort of sad to wrap things up with my favorite clients, exchange personal emails addresses with my favorite coworkers, and let go of my grip on pet projects that will no longer be my responsibility after next week. It's sort of how I remember the end of a school year. You know it's a good thing to move on, but it's still makes you pause for reflection.

NATHAN - Has been visiting my dad this week, as you know. Seeing as I'm one of those moms who actually likes my kid (and believe you me, there are moms who don't), I am missing him like crazy. My dad sent more pictures this morning, apparently Nathan got to ride a train into downtown Charlotte, and see some racecars up close. Needless to say, he probably hasn't missed us much, but that's actually a good thing. So much better to know your kid is happy and having fun, and loves his Grandpa. I am very very excited to see him tomorrow morning, even though his hugs and kisses will promptly be usurped by another set of grandparents, since we're spending the holiday weekend with Opa and Oma at their new lake house.

MY MOM - Is in Germany preparing for her Ironman this weekend (more on that still to come). I'm missing both her (since I know this is a big week and I very much wanted to be there with her, but Beanie and our budget rendered that too difficult) and Germany itself. Her trainer Michael has been keeping us in the loop with stories and pictures on Facebook (click that link if you want to friend him and follow along), and while it's great to see what they're up to (although it doesn't seem possible that there could be another photo of mom unpacking or repacking their bikes, HOLY COW is she neurotic), it's putting all of my own memories of Germany smack in the front of my mind: seafood being served as whole fish, yummy apple cake, awesome German broetchen from the bakery in the morning, half-timbered houses, cobblestone streets (though I would never ride my bike on them like she is!), and castles. I want to be there, experiencing all the sights and sounds too, with my mom.

Anyway now I am setting myself up on Mark's computer (which will be mine to share, starting next week) and going through some pictures, and smiling because we've really had a fun month, despite the unexpected work/family stress.

We've been swimming at the pool several times, Nathan has figured out how to climb in and out of his little rocking chair (which we found before he was born, in my Grandpa's attic), mastered the big-boy bed, chattered nonstop, and Bowden survived a bite to the head (thanks Simon).

For more pictures of what we've been up to over the last month or so (including several cute shots of Nathan with the train and more racecars this week), click below on his super-cute grin.


by mgoetts

When Toddler's Away, Parents Will Play (...or Work)

Nathan has spent the majority of this week with my friend Jenny (remember Jenny? friends since fifth grade) and her family in Greensboro. Mark and I both had extremely hectic work weeks, so this was our version of childcare.

It's been a mix of stressful and relaxing during Nathan's time away. I miss him like crazy. Being non-parents again, even for a short while (this is the first time we've done it in our own house), is kind of peaceful, though. It's annoying that we've both been working like crazy (Mark has 12-hour shifts, and I've put in 9-10 hour days which is double my scheduled norm) and haven't used the quiet time for something more fun, but... that's life. We did have a date tonight, which was an extremely good end to an extremely unpleasant day.

I've been thinking about little Nathan, and how he's doing with little Katie (Jenny's daughter, about six months younger than him). Besides a few post-nap breakdowns (that's his way, unfortunately), it sounds like he's doing just fine. If there's anyone who can handle two toddlers, it's Jenny, I know that much.

Thank goodness for facebook; I can see what they've been up to this week!

Nathan has learned to accessorize.

When they're older, they're going to kill us for making this picture public.

This picture is sweet but I'm mostly distracted by the fact that Nathan apparently had to accessorize his pajamas as well.

He looks so old in this picture! How did that happen in just three days?

We have missed you Nathan, and we'll be glad to see you tomorrow! We're glad you're having fun and seem to be embracing the idea of having a sister around to play with!

Facebook's 25 Things Meme

I have finally caved to the peer pressure of the 25-Things Meme that went viral on Facebook a few weeks ago. Like Jeremy, it took way too much time to not be cross-posted as a blog entry.

Writing this made me realize my dad's comment (yaaaay, by the way, for Dad commenting!) is probably right: my generation has no inhibitions when it comes to putting our lives on the internet. Well, maybe not no inhibitions. But fewer than we probably should. I have stop writing about Nathan in the next few years, or he really will kill me or end up in therapy. Or both.

But for now, 25 random(ish) facts about yours truly, some you already know, some might be new:

1.) I met my husband at band camp. He’s horribly ashamed of this, but I think it’s hi.lar.i.ous.

2.) I have 9 different kinds of mustard in my fridge right now. I don’t know anyone who likes mustard more than I do.

3.) I have lived abroad twice… once in Germany and once in the Netherlands. My German is good, but my Dutch…. Not so much. One time a Dutch cabbie, upon hearing me say how frustrated I was when no one in the Netherlands would practice Dutch with me (they all wanted to speak English instead) said, “You used to live here and you don’t speak the language? THAT’S TERRIBLE.” So much for a nation of non-judgmental people. (I can say that, I’m married to one of the good ones.)

4.) Mark and I have visited 4 continents together. It was (ahem) lovely, and we can't wait to see the other three too. :)

5.) I would choose the beach over the mountains any day.

6.) I once swam a five-mile ocean race, in St. Croix. I got stung in the face and stomach by jellyfish, but I finished. (Pictures of that event, including jellyfish stings, are here.) However, I cannot RUN five miles without stopping.

7.) I have been to a lot of places and I must say I REALLY like North Carolina.

8.) My favorite show on TV right now is Ugly Betty. Followed closely by The Amazing Race. Someday Mark and I will be on AR, just you wait. We’ll be the first ones kicked off (seeing as I can’t run) but we will be there!

9.) My friend Ryan taught me that to properly drive through the gates onto Furman’s campus, you have to be singing the theme song from “NeverEnding Story” in your head. Or out loud. Whatever.

10.) I have one sister, one brother, and two stepbrothers. I am the oldest. I am therefore relatively bossy.

11.) I love my dogs as if they were human children. (Except when they vomit up partially-digested poop onto my carpet, of course.)

12.) I’m not very girly. I wear jeans and t-shirts pretty much every day. I do own a little makeup, but I only wear it to church. My version of lipstick is chapstick.

13.) I do love bags and purses, though. Not the fancy designer kind, but the kind I can afford to buy every season based on what looks cute on the rack at Target.

14.) I actually like my job. Not that the stress and corporate bullcrap don’t drive me nuts some days, but most days I really like doing the work itself. I sell travel to nonprofit organizations (mission trips, disaster relief, humanitarian aid, etc) so I get to be in sales without all the sketchy “salesy” side-effects. Plus, since Nathan was born they let me do it part-time. And from home. Which pretty much rocks, when it’s not too chaotic.

15.) Being a mom is the most natural thing I have ever done. It’s the first and only thing in my life that has actually felt like a calling.

16.) In college I double-majored in English and German. Useful, I know.

17.) I started writing a blog in 2007 about our family and how our “everyday dreams” are coming true. Which is more of a reality some days than others. But I am having fun writing! (See? You know this already.)

18.) My first and best best-friend is my sister Ashley. She’s only 13 months younger than I am. We have had good years and bad but the truth is she can almost always make me laugh, and I can’t think of even ONE favorite childhood memory that doesn’t involve her.

19.) I love God and I go to church regularly. But please don’t lump me into that group of religious people who hates and judges. I try to honor ALL people. I think God loves EVERYONE. Period. No exceptions.

20.) I reached my peak of musical talent at like 14. But I can still play several instruments (some better than others), and I like to sing. I make a joyful noise at church every week, actually.

21.) I have a thing for getting my back scratched. Seriously, if you want something from me, scratch my back. I’ll probably do whatever you tell me to after that.

22.) There is really nothing I can think of that I would rather spend my money on than vacation.

23.) One of my favorite combinations is red wine with chocolate. Or red wine with spicy food. Ok, you got me… I just really like red wine.

24.) I did not vote for President Obama, but I am respectful and even cautiously optimistic (to avoid panic) about the next few years. I HATE politics and I can’t believe I just wrote that, actually.

25.) The sweetest sound my ears have ever heard is Nathan’s voice saying, “Mommy!”

Steven Mauney is Why I Love Facebook

I'm not a Facebook addict like some of you. (Yes, Kristy, I am so talking to you.) But I do like it, and I am glad I signed up, after months of wondering if I was too old. It satisfies an itch to know what's going on with old friends, it's a fun way to see pictures and messages from current friends, and aside from the plethora of "yes we can" buttons [sigh] it's a great place to kill twenty minutes online when you have read everything in your Google reader. Twice.

Once in a while, Facebook will connect me with someone from my past who really gets me excited. Makes me wonder how we ever grew apart in the first place. (What did people do before the internet, honestly?) Steven Mauney is one of those people. He found me on Facebook last weekend and I spent hours reading his family's blog, exchanging comments with his wife online, and remembering all the reasons I ever liked and respected him.

He's a brilliant musician, he loves God, he has one of the best laughs you will ever hear, he is a great conversationalist (I would know, we spent lots of time carpooling to rehearsals together), and now he's apparently a top-notch husband and daddy as well. I actually remember the early days of Steven dating his now-wife, Betsy. I remember him telling me how awesome it was to date your best friend. Now, I know a lot of high-schoolers say stuff like that, but for Steven it was true... and I knew that because I was going through the same thing at the time.

So Mauney family, this one's for you. God works in crazy ways, huh? Three cheers for the people you may know finder! Anyone else have fun reunions of real friends thanks to Facebook?