Charlotte At Almost Five

Charlotte is almost five! Happy due date, five years ago today! Age five! Five forever! I love five! I am about to have another five-year-old (yay)! ... My last five-year-old (sob).

But really. Look at this beautiful young lady. She hardly seems like a baby anymore.

(Hahahahahaaaaaa yeah right *wipes tear* no no, she's obviously still The Baby. Of course.)

Charlotte seems to have already entered into Age Five Delightfulness. She is old enough to be independent and have preferences and chase after what she wants and likes. But she's still young enough to have none ounces of too cool, and lots of innocent curiosity still in her.

Plus, she still says some words wrong. Syrup like cereal: syriup. The bonus room is the bennis room. Eating two pieces of toast is toast-es.When she wants you to leave something where it is (a song on the radio, the PJ's she wants to wear all day, etc) she says stay it on. And actually, stay makes more sense than leave, so I get it.

She is chatty and full of stories, half the time made up and half the time completely earnest retellings of mundane events ("and then he poured the cereal but mixed it with the other cereal can you even believe that???" *cue wild hand motions*) and unlike the other two, who we naively maybe once thought were talkative, Charlotte kind of never. stops. talking.

She has two made-up friends, Apple and Sushi (I don't even know) and when no one else will play with her, she plays with them. I have never seen a child outside of a novel so committed to her imaginary friends. Or so chatty with them. She and Apple and Sushi have an army of small toys like her Daniel Tiger "toysies" figurines, and Calico Critters, and a few Paw Patrol pups, and she creates whole worlds and houses and neighborhoods for them, and will do this for hours.

Also, she has several small purses and bags and even a portable Calico house, but her preferred transportation method for her most precious toys is a pizza breadstick box. She takes it all over the house and even on playdates. (Again, I don't even know.)

She dances and skips around the house, because why walk?

She floats around the pool in her puddle jumper, because why learn to swim? (Sigh.)

She follows Nathan and Anneliese and still can't quiiiite keep up, and "hey guys wait for me!" is still a very big part of her life.

She and Anneliese play together ever better, they are both very into dolls and babies and it has been a bonding thing for them this year. It has taken years for them to seem as close to the same age as they are (less than two years! only one school year apart! it has always seemed a much bigger chasm) but I think we are finally getting there.

She still sucks her thumb (no, I do not care anymore), and she calls it her "strong thumb" because it helps her feel better. I will never argue with that. Girl's got an overbite like whoa, braces are coming, there's no more preventing it, so thumb away, little one.

I feel like Charlotte eats almost nothing, and she is somewhat wee, but she's growing, so... meh? She does like french fries and gummy snacks. And gogurt and pizza. And sandwiches but only if they're cut in certain shapes (because obviously puzzles are delicious but dinosaurs are not). She also apparently loves the arsenal of snacks she keeps sneaking into her room and then doing a terrible job of hiding the evidence from. *mad face*

She sort of fails in her own Sneaky Wheelhouse though, replying when I call upstairs to her with things like, "I don't have my scissors, you don't need to come up here!"

Um.

She loves coloring, and is still really good at fine motor type things for her age. "Can you please print me something" has basically been her motto this year, there aren't enough coloring pages in the world to sate this child.

She loves winter, the only one in our house who grins in the outdoor chill, and bundles into her coat and hat with glee. (The rest of us glare at her properly, I promise.)

She loves being read to, but has shown very little interest in trying to read on her own yet.

She thinks she is good at numbers, and shushes everyone at least once a day to tell us "plus one plus one is two" and wait for people to lavish praise on her for such genius. (The amount of eye rolling from Nathan cannot be overstated.)

She likes to pray, and is the one who leads us in prayer 99% of evenings before dinner. She has a whole medley of blessings she likes to say.

She is off to kindergarten in a month. WHAT.

She is wheezy and sunshiney and makes the best mad faces of anyone I know. She has no modesty. She cries having her hair brushed. She cheats at games and tries to charm her way out of it. She is strong and delicate at the same time. She has gobs of friends and would play with them all every day if she could. She loves people, and new people, and she's never met a stranger. She's a good listener, always ready for a story or a joke. When she's happy to see you, she quite literally jumps up and down in excitement, and it's the best feeling in the world.

She made and makes our family complete.

Happy almost five, Charlotte Booler. You won't stay five forever, but we're sure going to enjoy it while it's here, you delightful little human, you.

2015: We Walked on a Frozen Lake So Nothing Else Even Matters

{I wrote this on New Year's Eve, but I was in a funk and never posted it, so it's getting posted months later and I'm not that sorry. Happy New Year! ish? I guess?}

What did you do in 2015 that you'd never done before?
     We walked on a frozen lake! We were terrified and amazed! (Yes really, just ask Tinytown Sarah and her husband.)

So basically this was on January 2nd and we might as well have called 2015 a wrap after that, but I did some other new things too, like:
- drove halfway across the country with all three children, and back by myself with them!
- listened to audiobooks 
- got progressive lenses for my old lady eyes
- spent the night in a hotel room for no reason other than alone time (was glorious)

How did you spend New Year's Eve? 
     Sadly we did not get together with David and Another Nathan as we have for many years, since Clemson finally made it to the national championship game (go Tigers?) and Mark and I have had a long understanding that when/if this moment came, he would go. And he's going! To Phoenix, next week.
     Which means this weekend, we are home in Raleigh. We took the kids downtown to one of his company's office buildings for a 7pm "family hour" ringing in of the new year with fireworks. Now I'm fiddling on the computer and maybe we will watch a movie or new years rockin dicken clarken whatever at midnight. Woo!

Did you keep last year's resolutions, and will you make more for this year?
     Last year, I said I wanted to get a real job this year. And I did! I took a copywriting job earlier this fall and I hated it and resigned within six weeks, and then an opportunity came up to do similar work to what I did before the girls were born (a sales job, travel, in the non-profit sector, negotiating contracts with airlines and vendors for people doing mission trips, disaster relief, service work, humanitarian aid, etc). So far it's going okay but it's very new. 
     This year's resolution is but one: find the balance at home. With our jobs and our marriage and parenting and and and, we have been in upheavel/transition since Mark started his new job almost two years ago, and it will break us if we can't find the balance. FIND THE BALANCE. 

How old were you on your birthday, and what did you do? 
     I turned 35, and it was a fun lovely day. We went to worship as a family, and Nathan did his first communion that morning. Then Mark and I had a nice dinner date while Another Nathan was in the air flying down to see me after his own worky Sunday, and made me my most favorite birthday peanut butter pie. I ended the day feeling happy and so loved. Mark and I had a great visit with him that week.

Where did you travel? 
     We took a HUGE family road trip across eleven states and 17 days, and it was wonderful. Mark and I also went to Mexico for a fantastic kid-free getaway. And I went to Seattle in April and got lovedrunk on friend time! Oh, and a girls weekend for the Hoopla in Illinois in September, and a road trip to see my brother near Savannah that month too!

What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015? 
     Balance and heart-shaped feelings on the home front. A fancy new master bath. Jeans that I love. A pretty laptop bag. Sleep, all the sleep.

What would you like less of in 2016? 
     Upheaval at home. 

What dates from 2015 will remain etched in your memory? 
     March 20th, when my newest baby nephew Everett was born. July 30th, when we embarked on our road trip. November 30th, when I started back to work.

Whose behavior merited celebration? 
     At the top of the list, my dad, who becomes a better and better human with each passing year. He came to our house and lived here for a week so we could go to Mexico! He did all the things! ALL THE THINGS. 

I don't know very many (read: any) other grandpas who would single-dad three kids in two different schools for a week, alone. He is wonderful for that and a million other things, but that one is fresh on my mind tonight.

Whose behavior appalled you? 
     (Hmmm, a blog-palatable answer? *side eye*) People who push a pumpkin agenda in August.

Who did you miss? 
     My Grandpa Bumgarner, who died in June. His big 90th birthday celebration we had planned that month didn't get to happen. Suddenly I miss all my grandparents. I officially have no grandparents, and it's weird and sad. Another generation, passing on. 

Who is the best new person you met? 
     Everett! Look how sweet he is! 

What was your favorite show? 
     Frasier. Oh hush, you're not too good for Frasier. Knowing I was going to Seattle in April, I watched the whole series starting last winter. I don't watch a ton of TV so it took me most of the year, but I love it and I'm not sorry. Mark and I also cried like babies at the Parenthood finale, and we still like watching The Mindy Project together. Also! Kimmy Schmidt is pretty darn funny.

What was your favorite book this year? 
     I read A Little Life, by Hanya Yanagihara, and it was amazing. Really troubling content, told deeply and beautifully. This is a lifetime best book for me. I also really loved Lila by Marilynne Robinson, and I'll Give You The Sun by Jandy Nelson. 

What was your favorite movie? 
     Okay this will sound dumb, but Trainwreck. It's funny, it's sassy, it's sweet, and it has THE MOST satisfying end to a raunchy romcom I can ever remember seeing. It's an easy fun movie. Watch it. You're not too good for Trainwreck either. I promise.

What was your biggest achievement in 2015? 
     Oh lawd I don't know if I ever achieve anything that's worth anything, but I did spend some time this year sewing felt into delightful objects, like these cupcakes and this penguin. Totally counts as an achievement, by my math.

Your biggest failure? 
     I remain sleep broken, although there is a new kind of med on the market that works by dampening the awake part of your brain (instead of activating the drowsy part) (yes, those are two different things) and so maybe I'm improving little by little? But mostly I just can't ever sleep well and it suuuuucks to be a sleep failure. Coffee me.

Where did most of your money go? 
     Medical bills, mortgage, taxes, school tuition, Starbucks, plane tickets.

What was the best thing you bought? 
     Plane tickets, to see friends and have getaways in various places around the country. Getting away and outside of my real life and the routine is kind of a pain for planning, but is absolutely worth the effort and expense. It's so much easier to come back to real life if you've had a mental break to fill up on rest and friendship (or romance)!
     Also a new computer! Our broken B key finally found its inner channel to Satan himself, and wouldn't stop typing, so it was like bbbbBBBBBBBBbbbbbbbBBBBBBB and you couldn't even, like, reboot it or turn off the keyboard before it was accidentally overwhelming the laptop with BBBBbbbbbbBBBBB commands. It was terrible. Of all the things to crash a computer! Anyway we have a new one and I can type just one B now. See? b
     Also I bought this airplane bag. You need a fun airplane bag. Trust.

What political issue stirred you the most? 
     Marriage equality. It finally happened. What relief and joy! I cried real tears.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept this year? 
     I have no fashion concept but this year I did dye part of the underside of my hair teal, and I freaking love it. It's subtle when my hair is down, and fun when it's up (most of the time) and it just makes me happy. 

What was great this year when you weren't expecting it? 
     Giving the kids an allowance. I thought this would be a pain but was a necessary Learning Thing, but it turns out it's adorable to let them shop for things themselves when they have a finite limit of what they can get (and therefore what they ask me for), and it's kind of the best.

What did you get really really excited about? 
     Seattle! Winter was long and tedious and icy, with all four kids (including Ali) and I so needed that break in April. I read all the guidebooks and counted down the days, and it was just a wonderful time away with friends.

What song will always remind you of 2015? 
     Shut Up and Dance. Remember when someone made this amazing compilation video of cuts of famous movie dance scenes? That sold me, and I didn't mind hearing it on the radio all summer after that, including a new energizer at Montreat involving moon boots (and a choral version under a sermon that delighted me!) - it's a fun song in any format.  

What kept you sane? 
     Sunshine breaks, group texting, phone dates, coffee, kiddie snuggles, getaways, medication, therapy, and hahahahaha okay I'm not sane y'all. But lets pretend all these things mostly worked, kinda, maybe.

What valuable lesson did you learn this year? 
     I have none smart thoughtful takeaways about this year or life right now. I just don't, We did learn, though, that New Year's Eve without our favorite NYE buddies makes us sadder than we thought and let's not do that again if we can help it.

(Charlotte's biggest achievement of 2015 is her angry eyebrows. Girl's mad face is ON POINT. Happy New Year, etc.)

Minnie, Another Harry, and a Bright-Haired Witch

Happy Halloween 2015!

Charlotte, the most decisive of all the children in this house, has been saying for months that she wanted to be Minnie Mouse. A polka dot dress and some yellow converse, big brother's tie as a belt, and some ears and gloves - makes her done and done. She was crazy happy about this costume, I'm sure you can't tell.

Anneliese really wanted to be a witch, "but the nice kind, who is friendly and likes colorful things." I mean, obviously.

Despite having already dressed up as Harry Potter once for Halloween (with a little sister Hedwig sidekick!), Nathan wanted to do it again. He has been super into the books and has a whole new context for Harry, and would not be deterred.

On Saturday afternoon before trick-or-treating, there was a symphony concert of Harry Potter (and other movie) music, and our sweet friend Anita who is the symphony harpist, comped us tickets. So great!

They had lots of fun things in the lobby like places to try out instruments, and a "potions" class where kids could make bubbles with soap and dry ice, then shatter them, and people walking around dressed as Hogwarts professors with a sorting hat for anyone who wanted to try it.

The whole event was completely delightful.

Summer Basket List

Summer is over. Well, not really, there is still a month of summer weather left, but summer break is over, and school starts this week, and so we have crossed off as many of the remaining bucket list items as we can. I needed this summer to be something redemptive after last year, which was a sh!t show of emotions and baby soothing and feeling like I was failing everyone around me, and then feeling resentful about the failing, and yeah. This year was better.

I had a page in my notebook where I jotted down ideas the kids named as things they wanted to do this summer (a few times, someone got ahold of a pen and added ideas himself), and we got to almost all of them.

We also renamed it The Basket List because at the beginning of the summer Anneliese could never remember what it was called, so she kept saying that, and it stuck for the rest of us even though she rolls her eyes and refuses to partake of the cutesy rename herself. HER LOSS. CUTESY IS FUN, YO.

And truthfully we didn't even look much at the list because we were busy just hanging out and having fun. Montreat was a freaking delight. Our family road trip was more fun than I ever could have dreamed. And lots of little fun things in between the travels too:

1.) Ride on a ferry. This list was born in April when Nathan, indignant that I would go to Seattle and ride on a ferry without him, made a page in my notebook and put FERRY as the first thing on it. We... didn't actually get to this. But we have Outer Banks camping plans next month, and we will ferry to Okracoke and then Hatteras. The ferry will happen! I promise, buddy!

2.) Visit Northfield. Check and check. 'Twas delightful. Here are all the kids at St. Olaf:

Oh Charlotte. I don't even know, y'all. She just doesn't stop.

Road trip blogs still to come. (They are all half written and still need pics and there's a lot to sort through so eh.)

3.) Crayon A. This is a craft I have been intending to do for years with Anneliese and we finally did it, and it turned out great, and she loves it, and I love it.

NAILED IT. Suck it, Pinterest, I own you.

4.) Go camping. Not yet - this will be with the ferry ride next month.

5.) Eat purple carrots. Okay so Anneliese asked for this for weeks, and I wrote it down for her, even though you can't get any carrots at the farmer's market, much less purple ones, until fall. So this is still to come also. We did, however, make several stews with parsnips, and Anneliese has a new favorite vegetable. (She is an odd child.)

6.) Strawberries. There were no carrots, but there were strawberries, and Anneliese used them to bake her very first dessert for all of us. Bisquick shortcakes, and warm strawberries, and cream she whipped herself, and oh she was so proud.

7.) Cinderella movie. Anneliese saw this with Grandma. That counts, right? (I still haven't seen it.) (I am totally interested, but secretly more for the Frozen short than for the movie itself. Don't judge me.)

8.) Rise Biscuits and Donuts. This is a place in Durham with apparently really great breakfast treats. We never made it there, but I am counting our Duck Donut outing as a check mark on the list for new treat places.

9.) Learn ponytails. Anneliese did it! This is a life skill, I mean really.


(If you can't see the embedded video, click here to watch it on YouTube.)

10.) Learn shoe tying. Yeah, no. This did not happen.

11.) Watch Jurassic Park (not with the girls). Yes finally, Nathan, of years-long dinosaur obsession, has seen the original Jurassic Park movie. It totally scared him. But I think he thinks it was worth it. (It still is delightfully scary to me too.) We have listened to the soundtrack a thousand times this summer since then. Currently the girls' favorite song to dance to. We are That Family, apparently.

12.) Tropical Pick'n Chicken. It's a new (to us) local chain restaurant near our house, with Caribbean food and such. Nathan is enamored with it. It's just okay for me. But! We went! Summer dreams coming true over here y'all!

13.) Build legos. Um, duh. Done and done.

14.) Sleepovers. Yes, Nathan and Anneliese, every Friday, all summer (all year actually, but the summer was no exception). These two are best buddies, and never moreso than on Friday nights. We don't understand how they spend all day every day together and still have things to talk about into the wee hours. They say more to each other than they ever do to any of the rest of us.

15.) Baking contest. This got added to the list in summer's eleventh hour, and we still did it!

16.) Read lots of books. CHECK. We have been very library busy. And library days are the best days, aren't they? Let's not forget the afternoon I found the kids all outside reading their library books sprawled on the sidewalk WITH THEIR BEDDING, why children, why?

Master Chefs, Goettsch Junior

We are home from our long road trip (seventeen days, eleven states, very fantastic) and I will do lots of blog catchup about that soon, but in the meantime, there is a cooking competition to tell about.

On the last leg of the last day of driving, we rented that American Girl movie about Grace who goes to France to be in a cooking show to earn some prize money to save her French grandparents' French bakery (or something?) (I don't know y'all, I was in the front seat and only halfway listening) and somehow because of that story, the kids have been very into Master Chef Junior now that we are home.

Which means they have been begging for days to have a cooking competition here in our house.

And apparently all those days of family togetherness made me nuts, because I said yes.

So they made their lists and we went to the store and we picked out groceries - they needed things like ice cream and berries and various candies and syrups and cookie crumblies. YES COOKIE CRUMBLIES. The secret ingredient, duh.

So we made the most ridiculous grocery run of all time, I put All The Things on the counter, set a timer, and let them go at it.

(It was super cute actually. Nathan even made a big show of being RULL BUSY/IMPORTANT in the final seconds -- which he insisted I count down for them -- and then throwing his hands in the air when he was done.) ("Done.") (It's not like any of these actually reached any stage of completion, per se, they just... stopped adding more crap in when I told them to stop. Nuanced chefs, they are not.)

Anyway, I'm the sole judge and juror here, so somebody kick off my drumroll and I will present to you the results of GOETTSCH MASTER CHEF JUNIOR, FIRST ROUND (also last round, because yeah):

Entry 1: Blue Ants on Moss, by Anneliese.

(Just going into it, I hated the name and the look of this. Food should never be this color. Food also should not have bugs in the name. I MEAN.) Okay so this was like 90% sprinkles/candy/coconut, and only one tiny spoon of ice cream (and food coloring) to bind it together. (Mmmm crunchy.) This is fit only for Buddy the Elf. Even he might not be that into it. She was terribly proud though. Mostly an F, but an A+ for the smile that she presented it with.

Entry 2: Pinkalicious, by Charlotte.

This is ice cream with softened cookie pieces, lots of strawberries and blueberries, some coconut, a splash of milk, and more food coloring than I want to think about. She, too, gets an F for plating, but at least it had a pretty color. Also it had an excellent name and was surprisingly delicious. (I voluntarily took a second bite, so.)

Entry 3: Kids Playing In Snow, by Nathan.

Okay first: that name, I don't even know. (Is that a 'rhea diaper under the snow? I think it is.) This is chocolate ice cream with insane food coloring decisions, layers of fruit and coconut, melted chocolate chips that got hard again (legit mmmm), and m&m's. I would have eaten the whole bowl of this if it didn't look so gross. I mean, layers! Fruit! Chocolate! WINNER!

So then they ate their desserts (none of them stomached more than a third of what they created) and were very kind and praised each other's work. Adorable.

Oh and they each also made a beverage for me to taste with their entries. Mostly it was milk tinted odd colors, so I just closed my eyes and said mmmmm.

Motherhood is exactly like I pictured it'd be.

Seattle Blathering

Remember how we all used to do some wild and fun thing, or some new and bland thing, but.. some Thing, and then somehow still had the bandwidth to blog about it, that day? Or that week? Or that month? How did we do that, y'all?

So, I went to Seattle. In April.

Part, the First: The Blathering

My trip was to meet up with internet friends, who aren't even "internet friends" at this point anymore, but just friends (thanks Hillary) who have an annual ladies weekend, and it has become a highlight of my year. It's a "conference" in the sense that it involves meeting people and having dinners and drinks and shopping and hanging out, so, that's to say, not a conference at all. Just a fun weekend with friends.

I roomed with Hillary and Sarah, both of whom I adore. They are smart and funny and wise and easy, which, for me these days, is about the best thing someone can be. A group of us rode the ferris wheel and looked at the seattle waterfront and I didn't even panic at all because I am a super cool and collected person in all situations.

We had a dinner party at Maggie's house and ate delicious food and had blathering signature cocktails and I spent some quality time with Elizabeth on the bathroom floor, not in a college drunk way but in a solid friendship Feelings way because hello, we are in our thirties. I am sad to say I did not exit Maggie's deck on the slide, because dat ass.

We rode a party bus called I Have a Woody or something equally phallic-and-trying-too-hard (I looked it up. Big Woody's. I juuuuuust realized the interior of the bus has wood paneling, and now I appreciate that this is a legit pun.

We ate dim sum (legit! I have never done that before) and had a wonderful hilarious talk about the ages of blogging gone by (ages of yore!) and laughed til we cried and also I would like to eat a whole plate of bbq pork buns right now, please and thanks.

We also went up into a skyscraper and looked down on the city, and look at that space needle down there! Can't you imagine how tall and futuristic it must have seemed in the sixties?

From up here it mostly looks adorable. I have a soft spot for that tower and I don't even know why. (It's probably Frasier-related. Shut up.)

We had a farewell dinner with the most bizarre pie situation that has ever pie'd: pie by the slice, one per plate, served four at a time to a table of ten, with question marks on our faces. And then repeated ten minutes later. And then again ten minutes after that. And then I laughed so hard I cried. And I could write a whole post of just the pie, playing it out moment by moment, yet I still don't think any words could accurately convey the insanity.

Pie. If you say it enough times it gets really funny again, even months later. PIE.

And then everyone left town, and I had a day of quiet, which was lovely, and then Another Nathan landed.

Part, the Second: Another Nathan 

A year ago when Nathan was in the throes of making a job decision, and I was signing up for the blathering, we loved the idea of a friendcation in Seattle, no matter where he was living come spring, and it turns out we actually made it happen! It worked great for him to fly out after church on Sunday right as my ladies weekend was ending, and we had a fantastic time together.

We had a foodie dinner with his favorite aunt (who lives in Olympia), we had top pot donuts for our coffee dates (more than once), we drank ginger beer, we walked through a sculpture park, we rode the monorail, and I told him a thousand more stories about Frasier than he actually wanted to hear.

And! We wandered through Pike Place market and made our pilgrimage to the original Starbucks.

We also went into this wonderful paper store, and I got lost in there for quite some time picking out letterpress cards and hand-bound books and notepads.

We had lunch in the revolving tower restaurant at the top of the space needle which was surprisingly kind of awesome in its cheesiness. We got to walk around outside (that viewing area at the top is outside, y'all) and then eat spendy cheeseburgers while spinning in a circle and reading post-it notes left on the window from other tables who had passed by. Pure tourist delightfulness.

We took a ferry out to Bainbridge Island and took a thousand pics of the skyline, including this wavy one Nathan took because panoramic pics are hard to do on a moving boat, yo.

oh, it makes me laugh

Okay we actually got some for real pics, too.

And Bainbridge was lovely and calm and pretty, walked through town and down by the water and thoroughly enjoyed the walk and the boat ride alike.

One of my favorite things we did was take an Uber (ask me how many days it took Nathan to get over his Uber-cringing and concede that it's way awesomer than using a taxi) (all the days, is the answer) allll the way across downtown Seattle to the edge of Lake Washington, and into this tiny little glass-blowing store that Nathan'a aunt told us about, called Glassy Baby.

They make pretty jars for burning tealights, and they come out with new colors for different events and seasons, and they partner with a crap ton of charities and various cancer research fund, and the whole thing was very touchy feely fun and beautiful to see them blowing the glass and then light a bunch of jars to see which one makes you feeeeel what you want to feeeeel and then buy just the right ones for ourselves and for gifts and oh man it was just a lovely little shop and we had a delightful time, and they are such beautiful and warm souvenirs.

One of those things that makes me happy every time I look at it. Which is every day, even months later. I am watching it burn next to my computer as I type this, actually. Also, there is wine. That seems relevant, yes?

Anyway.

So it was a wonderful trip, and so great to be away from being a mom and a wife for a week. It was an awful trip home, a sleepless night by the Minneapolis airport before an early connection back, and a canceled flight, and so tired so many feelings much tears. But instead of dwelling on that I will just say that I've decided Seattle rain is a myth; it was sunny and gorgeous every day we were there until the last night, and then even the wet  night was beautiful.

As Frasier would say: goodnight Seattle, we love you.

(Oh yes I did.)

2014: Mono, Minnesota, Ali

2014, In Review!

What did you do in 2014 that you'd never done before?
- Got mono, at the age of 33, which is unheard of. 
- Wrangled four kids at once, on the reg.
- Read books on a kindle, on the reg.
- Drove across the country for three days with my best friend, which is a thing I will recommend anyone do. 
- Abandoned the car in the snow and walked with three kids to safety, which is a thing I do not recommend. 

Did you keep last year's resolutions, and will you make more for this year?
     I am fairly certain I never made them last year. This year, I would like to get a real job again, I think.

How did you spend New Year's Eve? 
     I juuuust blogged about NYE so I am changing the question. I just asked Anneliese what she would ask someone about their year and she said What's your favorite thing you ate? 
     (She would like you to know hers was "that spaghetti Daddy makes for me, and also when I had that piece of gum that one time.") I... don't know what mine is. I did have some amaaaahzing, like, close-your-eyes-and-moan-good roasted brussels sprouts with chestnuts and pork belly and apples and a mustard vinaigrette on New Year's Eve, so maybe that? (And, we're back to NYE after all. So.) 

What did you get really really excited about? 
     Our cruise! After a horrible mono-sick spring, and job stresses, and a million details nailed down for childcare and such, we got a grownups-only trip to the Bahamas. Cruises are easy and cheesy and delightful, for real.

What do you wish you'd done more of in 2014? 
     Sleeping. I remain a terrible sleeper. A sleep failure. Full stop.

What do you wish you'd done less of? 
     Losing my glasses. It made me cry more times per week than I should admit. Eeeiiii.

What would you like to have in 2015 that you lacked in 2014? 
     A sun lamp for my desk. Also, more time to sit at my desk. And blog, and read blogs, and send emails, and have general me time. It's everyone's dream right? 

What was great this year when you weren't expecting it? 
     Our Great American BFF Road Trip, to move Nathan to Minnesota and say good-bye. It could have been stressy and bickery and exhausting; on some level I was ready for it to be that, yet glad to go and help anyway. But instead it was wonderful and delightful and fun and bonding. Like one of the best things we have ever done, not just this year but ever.

Who is the best new person you met? 
     Ali! Sweet baby Ali! Of course!

What song will always remind you of 2014? 
     Shake it Off and also Let it Go. Also, Anneliese's horribly (delightfully) misinterpreted lyrics to both of those. (Prayers gonna pray y'all.)

Where did most of your money go? 
     Like always - mortgage, taxes, school tuition, and this year more travel than in recent years.

What was the best thing you bought? 
     A new wedding ring. Slash engagement ring. Slash anniversary band. I left mine on our cruise ship and after a small fortune in ship-to-shore calls, and a police report, a report with the cruise line, phone calls to pawn shops in Port Canaveral and Nassau, and six months of crying, it never turned up. I felt (feel) awful even thinking about it. I know it's just a Thing but it's a special thing, from a hugely special moment in my life, and no other thing will ever be that ring, that re-set stone that was my great grandmother's, bonded to that band that Mark put on my hand on our wedding day. But. I sadly took the insurance money, and Mark and I found one that he loved and I loved. It feels a bit like a solitaire and a bit like an anniversary band and it's set in rose gold, and... I do love it. After months with no ring, I am glad to have this one. Especially with the kind words and wonderful promises from Mark that came attached to it, even now, eleven years after our wedding. It is special too. 

Whose behavior merited celebration? 
     My dad, who retired from teaching this year. He has worked in the corporate world, and the military, and has been an entrepreneur with his own small business, but I think of his many careers, teaching is what he loved best. His students loved him, and he was damn good at it. We are proud of him. And! He remains a stand-up Grandpa. 

     (Also, Anneliese deserves celebrating. She was my answer last year too, but she is just really in a delightful stage. Five forever!) (Ages three and seven are getting the side-eye from me today.)

Whose behavior appalled you? 
     Baby Ali on dairy. My word, child. So much screaming. (Ali without dairy = best niece evaaaar. But on dairy? Appalling. I can say that now because it's over, but. Yeah. Picture my wide eyes.)
     Also, people who use leaf blowers, for any reason, ever. Just no.

Who did you miss? 
     Another Nathan, so freaking much. Especially Tuesday nights.

What was your favorite show? 
     I finally got on board and watched both seasons of Orange is the New Black this year. Also, Mark and I loved Parenthood and watched it religiously until the end (*moment of silence for perfect Braverman series finale*). But besides that and The Mindy Project, I... don't watch very much tv anymore? I still love tv, in theory, I just, I think I like the quiet more. (Mark watches all kinds of things, increasingly with headphones plugged into the roku remote, because see again: quiet.) 

What was your favorite book? 
     I apparently only gave 5-star ratings to six books last year. Of those, I think my favorites were The One & Only Ivan (read that one with your kids! it's a good first chapter book!) and The Fault in Our Stars, because I am very mainstream and predictable, and also it was really dang good. 

What was your favorite new movie? 
     Frozen. (It wasn't new in 2014 but we didn't see it til the new year so it was new to us. And yes I unabashedly love it.)

How old were you on your birthday, and what did you do? 
     I was (am) 34, I went for a really fun and delicious Asian seafood dinner with Mark in Chapel Hill, and we shopped for that new wedding band. It was a lovely wonderful night after a hard season of heavy feelings, and I felt really special and close to him. It was a good birthday.

What was your biggest achievement in 2014? 
     Being the best moving boss ever? (WHAT. I WAS.) Also successfully turning Anneliese into Rainbow Brite, twenty years late. 

Your biggest failure? 
     I majorly let down the kids last summer, and myself, and our dreams for the school break. I just had no bandwidth for the fun bucket list items we had planned. I was sad as it happened, sad when it was over, and still sad now. This year will be better. Anneliese is starting kindergarten and I will start back to work at some point, and this summer is a summer for us. I feel fired-up protective of having some family fun.
     Also, that snow adventure thing. We should probably put that in the Fail for The Ages column too.

What countries/states did you visit? 
     The Bahamas, on our cruise. (Also Georgia and Florida, driving to the port.) Also we went to Virginia/Maryland/DC with the kids in October, and I hit several new-to-me states on our great American road trip: Indiana, Wisconsin, Minnesota (and West Virginia, Ohio and Illinois which were not new).

How would you describe your personal fashion concept this year? Have you showered today? Good for you! 
     Yes! And learned how to make my hair wavy! (It was apparently already wavy, I just didn't know.) Does that count as a fashion concept? If so, I could undo that strikethrough. 

What dates from 2013 will remain etched in your memory? 
- February 12, the snow adventure.
- March 7, when Mark accepted his new job.
- March 13, when Ali was born. 
- April 6, when we sang a beautiful Bach cantata that we worked super hard on, and then Charlotte fell down the stairs and I had to take her to get her face stitched up (when I was horribly fever sick with mono, and Mark was on the last shift of his old job, and Another Nathan was at an interview for a new job himself, and whoa that evening was a perfect storm, a microcosm of all of the angst of that season, April 6 you can GDIAF, except for the Bach thing). 
- April 28, when our cruise departed. 
- July 27, Another Nathan's last Sunday at our church. 
- August 4, the date of my one-way plane ticket back to Raleigh after a horribly sad goodbye.

What kept you sane? 
     Hmmm... iMessage? I don't know. Am I sane? I'm not sure I'm qualified to answer this question.

What valuable lesson did you learn this year? 
     And I am definitely not qualified to answer this one. I don't think I have have any good takeaways. Last year was mostly (not all! but a fair amount) sucky for me. Spring and summer were a haze of sickness and angst and newborn crying and a long goodbye. Fall was colored by a rough marriage season, and struggling to communicate with Charlotte and her sudden stuttering. There were so many hard things, and so many of them were things that I couldn't heal or fix, exactly, besides just riding them out. 
     Maybe if I learned a lesson, it's that *feeling better isn't linear, and sometimes you just have to let hard things be hard, until they pass. Which they usually do. And then it can be okay again.

Anyway. Onward and upward! Etc etc.

*Thanks Sarah. #kissyface