Nathan at Almost 10

Well I never thought I would see the day, but this year -- ten years in -- is the year I finally had to ask myself a few times, trying to remember which was Nathan's due date. (The 22nd. It was the 22nd!)

It's also the year everything went completely bananas and I stopped even pretending to blog, but I have to leave this space here anyway, my own little corner of the internet, because I need a home for memories and milestones and that kind of thing, even if the day-to-day captures have moved to other online homes.

As this is posting, our family is floating northward on America's highways, en route to Wisconsin Dells, because a day of giant waterparks is what Nathan requested for his 10th birthday, and we do love a reason for a road trip. (And a waterpark.) (And a celebration.) It's funny how tween and preteen birthday requests have moved away from toys and Thomas and Friend Cars, and are now all about devices and bikes and projects and trips. COME BACK TO ME, FRIEND CARS. (Cars 3 is out this summer and I won't lie, I'm dying to see it just so I can cry some nostalgia tears remembering the baby and toddler years.)

So yeah, Nathan is about to turn ten. We've known him for a decade. We've been parents for a decade. I am so freaking full of Feelings my head has been spinning for weeks.

Nathan has had a really good year -- dare I say it was even better than when he was five? (#fiveforever!) He is kind and responsible and funny, and while he remains a true introvert, he is ever more out of his shell. He likes public speaking, and he is proud anytime he can be in a leader role.

He is doing pretty well in school, working hard enough to make decent grades, but not so hard he sacrifices precious Pokemon chatter time. He loves science and math, and loves reading history and biography books. It's taken me years to convince him that novels (or any fiction) are also a delight, but finally FINALLY he is very super crazy into Harry Potter, is partway through the 7th book, and talks about almost nothing else these days. In classic Nathan fashion, he spends hours in internet rabbit holes about fan theories and movie castings and behind the scenes info, and lost in Pottermore fandom, and he thinks it's very important that I tell you here that he's a proud Hufflepuff who thinks fairness, justice, loyalty, and inclusion are the most important things (this is actually delightfully accurate about him).

These days he says he'd like to be an architect when he grows up; he spends lots of his time building and designing all manner of things with his legos and sketching and any boxes or tubes or bottles or other crap he pulls from the recycling bin. (He might or might not have a tiny hoarding problem in his room.)

He also loves watching Master Chef, Jr, and has been harboring some serious cooking desires recently. He wants to try new foods and learn to make them, and we don't even know what happened to our little baby who only ever wanted to eat bagels, and now requests lunch dates so he can have some grilled salmon which we never really fix at home. He delights me in surprising quirky ways, and I love seeing him become more and more himself.

He has become surprisingly (to us! we didn't see it coming!) athletic in the last year, thriving at soccer, making a good effort at basketball, and swimming and running faster than many kids his age, despite his small size (he's still the tiniest kid in his grade). He had two bad scooter spills this year resulting in a few (minor) fractures and injuries in his wrist, elbow, knee and hip -- and spent most of his spring in a leg cast, wrist brace and sling. He was discouraged at the time, but has recovered with no problems and is back to normal now.

He's still playing his cello, and has buckled down and really worked hard at this year; we are officially impressed by what he can do. And! He can now match a pitch, singing! We also never thought we'd see that day. :) He loves choir at church, partly because he's suddenly a great singing leader, and partly because as one of the older kids, he has lots of chances for speaking parts and reading at the front of the church, which he loves.

He and Anneliese are still chummy with each other above all others, but are learning to branch out and be social with their own peer groups and also with Charlotte. They've had a few moments of pain together this year that were hard to watch, but also good to see them grow and learn.

Nathan is still the tiny adult in our family, classic oldest child: doing a funny dance between needing to be a baby with snuggles and back scratching and coddling -- and acting as grown up as possible, bossing his sisters and generally trying to manage everyone and everything around him (I seriously have NO IDEA WHERE HE GETS THIS *ahem*). He's helpful, sometimes to a fault, but we love about him that  he always takes initiative and looks to see what others might need or want. His toddlerhood excellence at empathy is manifesting in new and caring ways, and we are so proud.

Happy almost-ten to our wonderful, serious, funny, loving, bright baby boy. Watching you grow for a decade has been the greatest joy of our lives.

Peru Trip! (Sacred Valley and Machu Picchu) (!!!!)

We made it to Machu Picchu! It was completely amazing. I had no concept of the scope of it from pictures (a whole city! on a mountain!) so seeing it in person was really just awe-inducing.

Okay so that was Day 6. First, to get there, we took a crazy scenic trip by road and rail through all the most beautiful parts of beautiful Peru. I mean every place was more gorgeous than the last. Seriously, Peru, with the scenery. Seriously.

DAY 5: SACRED VALLEY OF THE INCAS

Outside of Cusco, we stopped to see several different Incan ruin sites. One of them was called Sacsayhuamán which totally sounds like "sexy woman" (just trust me, it does) (and if you don't find that funny, then you're exactly like my coworkers and nothing like me) and there were tons of steep steps, but from the top the view of Cusco was breathtaking.

Y'all. The climbing. At 11,000+ feet elevation. With a still-recovering foot. It was haaaaard. Like harder than I want to admit.

We also climbed around in some caves and learned about Incan tradition (we know surprisingly little, which is intriguing to me).

Also there were more alpacas. You could guess that, right?

We saw several ruins sites, road tripping over and through the Andes, and then we stopped for lunch in a little mountain town that's basically totally sustained by its silver mine. I bought a mother earth necklace. Yes I haggled. Yes I love it.

At one point we stopped to walk around and see the scenery of the Sacred Valley, and oh man we could barely breathe deep enough just for normal walking. I think our driver said we were like 12,500 feet or so. It's funny how we were all mostly fine in Cusco at 11k, but that extra 1500 feet did us in. Like dizzy and headachy just for those moments up high, until we came back over the other side of the mountain.

It sure was gorgeous though.

We made it to a darling town called Ollantaytambo (so pleasing to say out loud! do it. yes you. do it!) and caught the train to the village below Machu Picchu.

Let me tell y'all, catching a train in Peru is not the same thing as catching a train in, say, Germany. Or even catching Amtrak here in the states. The boarding cars and lining up process are quite a Thing. Like a big ol' mess that somehow works anyway. I was both horrified and impressed.

The train ride was (you guessed it) SUPER SCENIC. They played pan flute music the whole time, and served juice cocktails (fresh juice with milk in it is a very big thing in Peru) and snacks and it was all very charming.

NIGHT 5: AGUAS CALIENTES

The town at the base of Machu Picchu is called Aguas Calientes, and I have... never seen a town quite like it. It's small, it only exists becuase of Machu Picchu (which was only discovered a hundred-ish years ago), and it is basically just a crop of shopping stalls and guest houses and restaurants and chapels. There are no real roads, and no vehicle traffic, except the buses that take people up the mountain. It felt more like a base camp than a town. It was crawling with backpackers and tourists and people excited to go hike the ruins. There's an air of fun and anticipation, and packed bars and pubs.

dinner on a rooftop terrace! 

Other people in our group were wearying of lack of hot showers (our hotel in Cusco was only intermittently warm, so people had been banking on great showers in Aguas Calientes, but it turns out not only was there no hot water but no water at all, because of some kind of main break? or something? people were still hosing off the sidewalks outside so I don't believe one word of whatever explanation was handed out, ha) but while they were craving hot water, I was craving quiet. It was maybe about Night 5 that the noise of South America started to exhaust me. This is a culture of people who enjoy background noise, and loud music, and blaring tv's that no one is watching. People embrace it as the feeling of living happening, and while I get that, it's also exhausting for me. I'm not an "unneccessary noise" kind of gal, and it can shoot my nerves real quick. The town was fun but even louder than Cusco, which was even louder than Lima, so by bedtime in Aguas Calientes I just wanted all the nightclub thumping to be... less. Or none. I had earplugs, but no earplugs are truly good enough for Peru. Trust.

DAY 6: MACHU PICCHU

We woke up super early (super! early!) (like, every hotel started breakfast at 5am. What? Why? Why do people love Machu Picchu so early in the day? What, it's not going to still be there at noon? I'm sure there's a reason this is a trend but I never did suss it out) and caught a bus up the mountain to Machu Picchu. Let me tell you, that drive was terrifying. I would not have taken my Honda Accord around those curves that fast, and they did it while passing other buses. People kept looking out the bus windows and pointing out all the memorials on the side of the mountain and I was like Y'ALL. CAN YOU NOT.

But we made it to the top, and oh man. So stunning.

Just... all the exclamation points.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had never fully grasped how big it is until I saw it in real life. I mean you can't tell scale in pictures.but each of those little squares is a non-small building, like an entire house or temple or whatever. This was a whole thriving city. People were born and died here and probably never had any reason to leave the mountain. It's huge.

Look at those tiny people and stairs, for scale. 

We spent half a day hiking and climbing around, and we only saw part of it. It would take multiple days to actually see every section, maybe more.

It kept striking me just how far-flung it was. This whole city, up on a mountain. A mountain that's pretttty inaccessible even for modern-day tourists. I mean we took a flight from an international gateway to the closest airport, then a long bus ride over mountains just to catch a train, which is basically the only way into the base camp town, and then a scary ride for miles up the mountain itself, before we even had a glimpse of it. HOW DID THEY EVEN FIND IT?? It was only discovered a hundred years ago, and I can see why! And why/how would they have built a city up on such a high mountain anyway? For safety? Defense? Amazing scenery? It's totally fascinating to me.

Before we hiked down, there were (of course!) (obviously!) more alpacas. Everyone, behold: the most Peru thing that has ever Peru'd:

After a long hard hike (my foot was angry at me but it was so so worth it) we had lunch in town before catching the train out. Look at this delightful lunch view!

We were ravenous, and Peru just kept consistently handing us amazing avocados. Every single one we had (and there were many) were perfectly ripe. I am not even a particularly avocado-y person, but daaaaaang these were incredible.

Also they have giant corn. Look at those huge kernels! They toast them and serve them like pretzels. Fun!

Also this was on the menu at lunch, so I will leave you with this final Machu Picchu thought: trout to the male thing. That is all.

Trout to the male thing. TROUT. TO. THE. MALE. THING.

A Day in the Life

Remember a year ago when everyone was posting a day in their lives, and it was fun and interesting to read and see how we all spend our days, but I was too full of Feelings and Exhaustion that I didn't have the bandwidth to take pics all day, much less write about it?

Okay, so, I am doing it now. Because the Ali thing is ending in a few weeks, and I have gotten through a whole year of juggling four kids, and for no other reason than my own memories, I want to remember what it was like. (On an average day.) (Not a terrible day.) (The terrible days I would like to forget.)

This is a Tuesday a couple weeks ago:

6:49am - My alarm goes off. I am still sleeping (about half of the days, I'm not, the kids are up or whatever) so I hit snooze four times before actually putting my feet on the floor. Mark is already at work, which is mind-boggling. (Normally we all sleep right through his wakeup and shower and exit, but some mornings Charlotte hears him leave and pitches a fit if he doesn't wave to her in her window. A FIT. Today is not one of those days. *hallelujah hands*)

7:00am - The kids are eating breakfast; they have yogurt on the bottom shelf of the fridge, and waffles on the bottom shelf of the freezer, and instant oatmeal in their pantry shelf. They mostly fend for themselves, although Nathan helps some with Charlotte. I can hear them and they are fine, so I keep hitting snooze.

7:20am - I finally roll out of bed, let Bowden out, and get dressed and washed and brushed. I always brush my teeth first thing (I have a complex where if I am going to run out of time to fully get ready before Nick or Barbara walks in with Ali, I think it's worse to have morning breath than not have on proper pants or a bra), which I know is ridiculous because I will have coffee in mere minutes and who brushes their teeth right before coffee? Me, stupidly, but whatever.

7:35am - I make my (first) coffee and sort through my list for the day. I made today's list last night, scheduling from my "to do this week" list that I made Sunday night (which is gleaned from my "this month" or "next month" lists that are rolled over and re-sorted every week). My list has everything I will do all day, including drinking this very coffee, and my next. Plus additional things that will crop up and I will do, and then write down and cross off.

Listen, because this is important: I am not sorry for even one bit of this list-begets-list process. I get sh!t done, and this is how.

7:50am  - Ali gets dropped off. My kids are finishing breakfast and I herd them into the bonus room and put the gate up so all four can play.

7:51am - Every day said playing begins with dumping all the foam blocks from their bag onto Ali's head and yelling "soft block shower!"  Every. Day. The blocks will then remain scattered all over the floor for the whole rest of the day, barely played with, until the painful cleanup hour before bedtime. I scowl at the soft block shower. It is no longer cute to me.

7:55am - I sort all of the laundry in our room into piles. Tuesday is laundry day for our stuff (Monday is for the kids, Wednesday is for the towels and sheets and kitchen cloths/napkins).

7:57am - At some point Nathan wanders into my room and checks his school meal menu and the weather, so he knows what to wear. (It's NC in May. Wear shorts. You don't need to look it up, buddy.) He also tells me what today's weather will be like in Holden Beach, Montreat, and Northfield MN. Like every day, I don't have the heart to tell him I give none craps. I smile and say mmm hmm.

8:00am - I start the first load of laundry and then go pack lunches. Today it's just for Anneliese and Nathan (who has determined that whatever was on his school menu didn't sound great). Nathan makes the sandwiches and fills the water bottles and I do the rest. He sneaks pieces of candy into both lunch boxes and I pretend not to notice. I write notes to both kids and sneak them into both lunch boxes and he pretends not to notice.

8:10am - All three girls have been bickering in the bonus room. Someone has pulled someone else's hair, someone colored on someone else's page, Ali has a crayon in her mouth. Normal stuff. I ignore it til lunches are done, and then break it up and send my girls upstairs to get dressed, which for some reason they aren't yet.

8:20am - I do some really excellent lazy parenting from my desk chair, nagging the bigs to brush their teeth, asking Anneliese to find her brush, telling Charlotte that no, "brushing" her hair with her hand doesn't count, and reminding people that no, I don't know where your shoes are, because you are in charge of your own crap. I text a little bit with Mark to say good morning and stuff, and he asks how I slept, which is always a Question, since I fail at sleep, frequently.

8:35am - I check the baby gate and lock the doors and leave Ali and Charlotte playing in the bonus room while Nathan and Anneliese get their lunch boxes/backpacks/cello and we walk to the bus stop at the end of our block. They make bets on whose ride will come first - Nathan's bus, or our friend who gives Anneliese a ride on Tuesdays and Thursdays since she is driving by anyway.

8:45 - 9:15am - I walk back to the house, switch the laundry, and do the louder things on my list (dishwasher, dishes) before I change Ali and make her a bottle and put her down for a nap. Some days this is my gym time, but today Ali's mood can't make it another hour, and I know I will need a block of time to get groceries later anyway, so the gym isn't happening (it's really hard to to both gym and groceries in one morning, with her nap).

9:30am - Ali is napping, and I go in between supervising Charlotte doing dot art painting on the porch, and working through my list. Today that means replying to a few emails, scheduling a playdate, rescheduling a dentist appointment, making a grocery list, hunting down a high-ish resolution image to download and mirror image and print onto iron transfer paper for a t-shirt for a costume for Anneliese next week, firming lunch plans with a friend with a new baby tomorrow, tying ribbons around chocolate bars for teacher appreciation, lots of glamorous trophy wife things, you know.

10:30am - Another Nathan calls with his daily good morning on the way to work, and we chat for what I always think is five minutes but is actually ten.

10:45am - I have my second coffee of the day, this time with toast. Also with twitter and instagram and whatever fun sales might be in my inbox.

11:00am - Ali is awake and chatting in the crib, so I switch the laundry again and make her a snack-to-go, and then get her up and throw both girls in the car.

11:15am - Grocery shopping. Easy enough, with just Ali and Charlotte. (Which is why I do it on Tuesdays.)

12:15pm - I come home and buckle Ali into the high chair and she eats lunch (today Nick and Barbara sent black beans, sweet potatoes, a sandwich, and some cheese; this is more food than Charlotte will eat in the whole day but Ali gobbles it all), safely contained while I unload the groceries. Charlotte is also sitting at the table but instead of eating, she is crying, because obviously. (?? No idea.)

12:45pm - All the groceries are put away and the inside of my fridge looks like the dairy section at the store (we buy about thirty yogurts a week, and five or six gallons of milk), and I check all the packaging for box tops for Nathan's school (when they bring in enough, they can get extra library books!) and then Charlotte takes the rest to the recycling bin. She does it without complaining or whining  HA HA HA NO sorry y'all I can't. Nope. She is a pill about it.

12:50pm* - Back in the car to go to church and get Anneliese. I fight for parking, send a few cussy texts about it, and then find a spot finally. I parallel park LIKE A BOSS.

(If I were a superhero, my power would be parallel parking. No, making good lists. No, parallel parking. I would save people from villains and crime in tight parking situations like preschool pickup, where no other hero dares attempt.)

*1:00pm - that 12:50 up there is a lie, it's always 1:00. Anneliese's class is always one that runs on the late side, and I just can't ever get out the door any sooner. It's 1, every time.

1:01pm - I leave the car and a/c running with the girls in it (ALERT THE AUTHORITIES) (no, don't, it's mere feet from the door, not even a parking lot to contend with since we park on the street, and it's legit safer to leave them there than unbuckle into traffic, so shut it), and grab Anneliese. She asks for skittles from the preschool office, which is an option every day, but I am mean and we only do it on Wednesdays. Which means I always have to answer a question about what day it is. Even though she knows full well what day it is. Answering questions that don't need to be answered! Many times on repeat! Parenting!

1:15pm - I bring a bag of books to the public library to return, and pick up a few new holds. It's slightly embarrassing how often we go do this. Like, several times a week. I also drive through for a fountain drink diet coke to have later with my lunch. Sometimes you just need a fountain drink diet coke and nothing else will do.

1:30pm - We are back home, I switch the laundry (it never ends), Anneliese unloads her lunch box pieces into the dishwasher (new parents: IT GETS BETTER), and the girls play outside. Ali is juuuust on the verge of walking, so she toddles a bit holding onto my fingers and watching the big girls swing and sing. (Swinging and singing go together at our house. It's hard to do the former without the latter.)

2:00pm - I give Ali another bottle, change another diaper, and the girls all go down for naps. Only Ali sleeps. Some days they all need naps, and some days I need both big kids to stay awake, and some days it's just too nice to chase them inside, but today they are all going upstairs. Charlotte and Anneliese can play in each other's rooms (they are joined by a jack & jill closet) as long as they stay upstairs and don't wake the baby.

2:05 - Charlotte wanders downstairs to poop, because she went pee before alone time but forgot to poop. This happens every day. I always remind her before she goes upstairs. It never works. I sigh.

2:15pm - I eat my favorite lunch on the back porch, this salad of perfection from trader joes (I am not even a kale person! kale is dumb! but this salad is everything -- sweet and spicy and crunchy and perfect. I love it more every time I have it. It almost tastes like candy to me, and yes you can smack me for saying that about kale, because I hate myself for it too, but it's true. BUY THIS SALAD), and my diet coke that has been waiting in the fridge. I listen to a podcast while I eat, and I say hi to Another Nathan on his way back to work after his own lunch break. He is in the middle of a day of annoying meetings, and he needs to cuss about them, and I am always glad to listen to some lunchtime cussing. I mean who isn't?

3:00pm - I have a quiet break sitting outside, trying not to be "productive" but just doing a few minutes of what I want to do. Which is important! Important enough that "read/rest" gets written on my to-do list every day. First, so I don't have to be feel bad for doing it. And second, as a reminder that time for me to zone out is as important as all the other things I do, for everyone else's well-being.

3:15pm - (I also write the first half of this blog post, and sew sprinkles and buttons onto a few cupcake tops for a felt food swap I am doing.)

3:45pm - Ali is awake so I bring all the girls to the bonus room and supervise some playtime while spending some time doing some Calendar Magic. Every Tuesday night this month we have three overlapping activities -- my choir rehearsal, Nathan's baseball games, and Mark's softball games. The time vary slightly each week, and I am trying to juggle which nights we can work around Mark's shift (he is done about 7) and which days he is off and how we can coordinate pickup/dropoff/bringing various children to our various events, and hopefully no one has to miss more than one event each. (I cuss as I do it, knowing full well that at least some of these arrangements will have to be RE-arranged as life actually unfolds. One game rained out means the next one shouldn't be missed even if that was the plan. A rained out game means choir is easy this week and therefore can be skipped next week. Etc etc. It's always something, and I hate planning it knowing stuff will change, but also, we have to plan something. SO.) Calendar magic = invisible work = parenting!

4:15pm - Nathan gets off the bus and crashes into the house in a way that shows me a glimpse of his teenager years. Door flung open, backpack falling off his shoulder, trudging over to where he can set his cello down and empty his lunch box. Everyone starts clamoring for a snack. YES! Have a snack! The answer is the same every day!

4:20pm - I put the last load of laundry into the dryer and silently congratulate myself with a mental party hat emoji. What gives you a better (albeit fleeting) illusion of control than a stack of finished laundry?

4:25pm - We have a busy evening ahead with very little downtime for the kids, so I concede to some playtime in the pool now while we can. The kids all change into their swimsuits and leave a trail of shorts and underwear and clothes all over the porch (EVERY. DAY.) and they jump in, while Ali sits in my lap and we watch from the side.

4:45pm - Nick arrives to pick up Ali. I give him the report on how she did, which today isn't much. She pooped x1000 (normal) and her bum is red (less normal) and apparently these are the things we talk about now. I want to go back in time and tell 12yo Nick to stop throwing snowballs at me just for kissing his brother, because I'm sticking around, and oh by the way I will care for your child one day and we will happily talk about her poops, so BE NICE, PUNK TWEEN NICK.

5:15pm - I reluctantly chase everyone out of the pool and into the house for dinner. We eat leftover pork tenderloin from a few nights ago, and easy mac, and believe me when I say the only reason it's even that fancy is because I am writing this post. Otherwise, we eat oatmeal and cheese slices on hectic nights. Or cereal. Just keeping it real.

5:50pm - I am ready for cleanup and bedtime but am I still writing this? Is our day still going?

6:00pm - Nathan changes into his baseball uniform and sits down to practice his cello, which becomes the backup music to my nagging frustrated voice trying to get the girls to clean up the bonus room and their rooms. "Are you cleaning?" "That doesn't sound like cleaning!" "I am going to do the dishes and when I come back, this room better be clean!" "Mommy is mad!" "How is this room not clean?"

6:30pm - The dishes are done, everything is clean, and I am trying to herd people to the car. Charlotte takes four tries to find her shoes, ends up in tears and needing help from literally everyone else to find them (they are in the middle of her bedroom floor), and then insists she doesn't need to pee because she went last year. Um. (She pees anyway BECAUSE I SAID SO.) Anneliese deliberates over just the right chapter book to bring along (she can't read) (she is trying to impress some older girls who are little league siblings too) (the whole thing is moot because she is not staying for the game) and Nathan is pissy because his baseball bag isn't where he left it, or it was left open, or some other trivial thing I don't care about AT ALL. Whoever has messed with his stuff is a much smaller transgression in my book than listening to him complain about it.

6:31pm - I hate 6:30pm. I don't even like it when it's the start of bedtime, and I really hate it when we are all walking out the door.

6:45pm - We drop Nathan off for his baseball game, leave him under the eye of a friend of ours, another dad on the team. When Mark gets off work he will go straight to the field and watch the game, and should only miss the first bit. He had considered taking Nathan with him to his own softball game after that, but it doesn't even start til 8:30, so he isn't going. Thank goodness. It's too much for one evening.

7:00pm - The girls and I go to choir. They bring Hattie and Sheepie and a box of crayons, and they sprawl on the floor of the choir room and color. Halfway through rehearsal they opt for a liturgical dance in the back of the room. A few minutes after that they get out a music stand and pretend to conduct. I tell myself everyone is charmed but I'm not really sure.

8:00pm - Choir isn't over, but the girls are done. Anneliese is slumped on me in my row, and Charlotte is curled up in a ball on the chair next to me, where she had to spin in many circles like a puppy before she got comfy. We bail on the end of rehearsal.

8:10pm - Mark and Nathan get home at the same time as we do. Mark does bedtime with the girls while Nathan does homework and then leans on me and reads. He likes us to read by ourselves together. I sit and stare at the wall. Somehow an hour passes. I have no idea. Twitter? iMessage? Instagram? Seriously no idea. We send Nathan up to bed before he falls asleep downstairs and we have to carry him. (This happens at least half the nights, because... couch parenting.)

9:00pm - Mark and I chat and catch up on our days while he makes us some dinner. I have a taste for shrimp and grits which he doesn't really want but makes me anyway, because -- wait for it, this is important -- he is a gem. Eating after 9pm is super normal for us. We watch two episodes of a show on Netflix and then I can't take any more noise or talking. My tv limit is very low these days.

10:00pm - I do the dishes and then escape to the guest house for some silence. I read a few chapters of Goblet of Fire (I am re-reading all the HP books this year, which is fun because although I love them, I've only read each of them once. It's been a decade. It's time.) I start my list for tomorrow, and I write the second half of this post.

10:45pm - Another Nathan calls after his gym time. Tuesdays are one of our nights for longer catchups; I tell him about our choir people he misses, and talk through my angst about employment ideas for the fall, and he's trying to wrap his brain around the final push with his choir for the program year, and tells me about some fun plans with his parents this weekend and stories of what he's up to with his new people up there. It's nice to make time to hear each other.

11:30pm - I take my bedtime shower by candlelight, which sounds way sexier than it is. Mostly it's just that it smells delightful (coffee!) and it adheres to my doctor-organized Sleep Plan of having dim lights after certain times, amongst a million other things that are supposed to ensure me good sleep but only get me there maybe half the time.

I read a few chapters, and then toss ans turn, and then think all the thoughts, and sometime after 1am (or 2 or 3, depending on how unlucky I am), I sleep until sometime before but not after 6:49am again.

A day in the life.

Spring, it Sprang

Where did spring go? It took forever and a day to get here, and now summer is basically upon us. School will be out in a few weeks, and we are in the throes of the end-of-the-year stuff: concerts, recitals, school events, forever and ever amen.

Mark and I went out last weekend to celebrate the 18th (that's ten plus eight, EIGHTEENTH) (!!!!) anniversary of our first date, back when we were sixteen. We were dumb naive teenagers, and we cringe now at thinking we knew what the heck we were getting ourselves into, yet also really really happy that we did. It's so fun to remember the very beginning, and feel happy and grateful about where we are now.

Nathan and Anneliese, waiting for their school rides together. Anneliese is so tall for her age, and Nathan is still so tiny, and I get asked now more than ever if they are twins. Anneliese can't wait til next year when she can finally (finally!) get on the bus with Nathan.

Yes, I know Nathan needs a haircut. No, I do not know why wearing your instrument on your back and your backpack on your front is a Thing, but among the second grade orchestra set, it indeed is.

Anneliese sang in a little concert at preschool, and she was a cow, and she is officially the cutest singing cow that ever sang.

And! The preschool did a big Letterland Day, to have fun with the reading and writing curriculum they use (which is very cool, if you care about linguistics and pedagogy), and each kid got to dress up as a letter character from the Letterland world (haaaaaa I say "got to" like I wasn't cussing up a storm about having to come up with a costume in the last weeks of school... I totally was, make no mistake).

ANYWAY she chose to be Annie Apple, and she was the only one in the whole preschool, and everyone clapped for her. I have no idea if she loved or hated that, but she was hella cute. And this is the part where I pat myself for an illegal download from a google image shirt, reversed onto iron transfer paper and an etsy hat. Costume! May! Super cute! Whatever!

Moving on.

We are also in the throes of All The Baseball.

Okay so baseball is a pain, y'all. It's too many times a week, with lots of rain schedule changes, and not much notice, and it's the busiest time of the year. Whyyyyyyyy. I mean, Nathan likes it and Mark loves it so we go, and we cheer, and I absolutely love to see him having fun. But make no mistake, it's a pain.

Charlotte (who wears this outfit every Tuesday, because I do their laundry on Mondays and she is obsessed with this outfit and mostly only cares that I do her laundry so she can wear it, and does at the soonest moment it is clean every week) has taken to eating toast with me in the mornings.

I used to guard my toast and coffee time as my own alone time, but on days when it's just her at home (well, while Ali is napping), it's sweet to have a snack together. I sort of love it. It has been a good school year of Tuesday and Thursday mornings with her.

So, also. I made a bowl for Charlotte; our church gives us these little stone thumbprint things to mark faith occasions (baptism, Bible reading, confirmation, communion, etc) and there is always this brunch event when the kids are three, where the parents make little bowls for them to collect said "milestones" as the years come. We have one for Anneliese (with a rainbow imprinted in the bottom), and Nathan's is a blue hand-me-down pottery bowl that Another Nathan made at Montreat, since we missed the bowl making when he was three. Anyway! So I made Charlotte's, and then I put it in the oven, per instruction, at like 200 degrees for four hours, except I actually cooked it like twenty hours, and it's totally burned.

It's supposed to be... white.

I really wanted to toss it and start over, but she saw it, and she thinks it's SUPPOSED to be this color, and, well, now what do I do? So we are keeping it. And at every faith milestone we will remember the story of the time I miraculously didn't burn the house down. *sigh*

In other less serious milestones, there is a new Princess Charlotte! And when I told Charlotte there was a new princess Charlotte, a real one, she insisted that she was the real one, and promptly made herself a dot-art crown from her dot-art book, and wore it grocery shopping. Soooo... she sure told me?

And on that note, this is where I make a bloggity plea that anyone who wants to send any Princess Charlotte kitsch my way, I totally definitely want it.

Ice Skating and a Chinese Buffet (A Patriotic Holiday)

So today is Presidents Day, except not really, because Nathan has school. Except not really, because I didn't make him go, because I told him it was a holiday (I thought it was! my calendar said so! my calendar doesn't lie! except this one time) and the girls are out of school, and it's supposed to snow/ice tomorrow which means we will be out of school all week anyway, and what's the point of going for just one day? There is no lasting education happening (that won't need to be repeated) in a one-day week. Anyway, I decided to let him stay home and make the most of my mistake.

And that's the story of why Presidents Day isn't Presidents Day this year. Which is... not a story.

But what we did do with our Presidents Day non-holiday is go... ice skating. I KNOW. MY KIDS. I KNOW. But we tried for a trampoline jump place and they were closed, and ice skating was next door, so we tried something new.

Well, the girls did. Nathan wanted none of it. Although he did take some pictures for us. So, thanks for that, grumpy gus?

Charlotte mostly wanted to hold my hands (ask me what makes ME unsteady on skates? a three-year old hanging on me, that's what) but Anneliese got braver and braver and was off in the middle of the rink, pushing around the stacks of buckets they had on hand for young kids. Really cute, and she was so proud. She is asking for ice skating lessons now. Cute.

And then Nathan and Anneliese had been asking for Chinese food (I don't even know) and since I am the kind of lady who loves a Chinese buffet, we had planned a buffet date for the "school holiday" (remember that thing about how I didn't remember it was a holiday, so).

Y'all, they loved it. My picky eaters tried all kinds of new things, they made lists of what they loved and didn't love, they went back for seconds, we had dessert, we left full and happy and it was the most random thing but also delightful.

So we celebrated President's Day by trying ice skating for the first time, and then pigging out with picky eaters at a Chinese buffet. Anything else would have been unamerican, amiright?

I Know it's Summer, Because This is What Summer Looks Like

One of my favorite things to do in the summer is stand in my pool and read. I know when you put that all in a sentence, it doesn't make much sense (why stand in a pool? why read in a wet place? etc) but trust me I have a system, and it involves a towel and some warm bricks and the shade under a nearby lounge chair, and it's all awesome and works great, and you're just going to have to trust me on that unless you want to come over and partake, in which case please do because you're definitely welcome. Yes you.

If you come, I will even have my pool boy get this beast vacuumed. Swearsies.

We also swim outside with the kids pretty much every evening. After Nathan gets off the bus and Ali is picked up, we get in the pool around 5 and swim til dinner. Totally curbs the witching-hour crabbies. RECOMMEND.

do you think having daughters is everything he hoped and dreamed of?

awkward enough for a Christmas card? yes?

Last Friday Mark and Another Nathan and I went downtown (ahhhhh trying not to count down the very few Fridays we have left here all together) and ate at Beasley's Chicken and Honey, which is a relatively (?) well known place, at least as far as the Raleigh foodie scene goes. And we had wine and beer from mason jars and people-watched downtown and ate chicken and waffles, and it was all delightful.

And then we went out for fancy cocktails, with fancy-shaped ice, and fancy hand-pestled fruits and herbs, because we can.

Did I say fancy? We felt very fancy.

On Saturday Nick and Barbara had their annual (annual?) crawfish boil and it was once again hot as the blazes outside, and also in my mouth. There is something about a table full of crawfish and a boozy drink in a red solo cup that just screams SUMMER! to me.

It's also the season of almost-daily afternoon storms, and one day this week it rained longer and harder than usual, and Charlotte, who is sometimes dainty and delicate and other times a hot mess, decided that playing outside in it would be just the thing. I... well... okay?

Also, Nathan has officially had his last tee-ball game (it took me a series of "are you trying not to smile? don't smile! better not smile! to get this picture) and if tee-ball is over, that means school should be over to, so let's wrap this first grade thing up now, shall we?

Summer break, I am ready for you.

Daddydorable

Things about Mark as a dad that I am finding pretty super these days:

1.) He is one of Nathan's team's tee-ball coaches, and when I watch him out there with all those kids, I can't believe that the sweet quiet sixteen-year-old I used to kiss in the bus parking lot has now turned into a funny lively encouraging dad, chasing after rogue throws, and high fiving kids when they remember to run all the way to each base. MELT.

2.) He built a bedsheet fort for the big kids for one of their Friday sleepovers, which have apparently just been leveled up.

3.) He brought home one of those little plastic pools, which are not my favorite, but it's fine because they love it, although I can't understand why they're so taken with it, considering we have an ACTUAL POOL.

4.) He will never be able to do a proper ponytail, which is the most Steretypical Dad problem ever, which amuses me because normally he doesn't stumble on Stereotypical Dad things. But! He makes ponytails anyway!

5.) He patiently (painstakingly) did this ship puzzle with Nathan when we got home from our cruise a few weeks ago. Turns out some presents that say 5 and up should totally say, like 30 and up.

And yes, it totally looks like a cruise ship now that they're done. Impressive, right?

Also, if you had been wondering what the top of a six-year-old boy's dresser looks like these days, well there you go. (Yes, that's a glow-in-the-dark pteranodon* stuck to the wall.) (*Or something else, I don't know. Putting this disclaimer here in case Nathan ever reads this and it turns out it's totally not a pteranodon, duh mom.)

5.) Marky also does things like take the kids to the playground so I can have the house to myself, and plays stomp rocket with them for hours...

...then comes home and suggests we find a sitter and go on a date. To a trendy restaurant where we get to sit on couches next to a pool while we eat dinner. So fun. (Yes, I wore a ponytail on a date. Don't judge me. As a rule I don't wash my hair on Saturdays.)

And I love him and he is a great dad and he makes me smile, and I don't know how often I say that, but I should more. Not because I am "lucky" to have a husband who thinks parenting is normal and does it well (all dads should! it should not be a special case for special praise when they do! Mark is the first one to agree with me on that!), although I don't take it for granted, either -- but because I love him and sometimes I get so hung up on thinking/talking/writing about my own mommying that I am glad to sit down and say hey, he makes daddying look awesomely fun, too.