2013: St. Croix, Montreat, Chicago, and Pleurisy

What did you do in 2013 that you'd never done before? I met up with a group of friends I knew only from the internet, had a lovely weekend hanging out with them, and confirmed to myself once and for all that I was right: there is no difference between friends and internet friends. My 1999 self was very wide-eyed about the whole thing, but it was fun and funny and natural and I loved it. 

Other new things I did this year: I traveled out of the country with three small children, I battled a flea infestation in my house, I watched my sweet husband put out a fire in our kitchen, and I went to my first conference at Montreat (as a Presbyterian born and raised in North Carolina, it is a little bit shocking that it took 32 years). Oh and I got pleurisy, even though it was the year 2013 not 1813, which was officially this year's dose of what the fresh hell?!?

Did you keep last year's resolutions, and will you make more for this year? My resolutions last year were to be textier with Mark at work during the day, send more emails, and try two new recipes a month. I get a big ol' MEH on all of them. I was sometimes really good at them and sometimes really not, so I guess for most people that would be a resolution fail, but if I am better now than I was then, I am calling it a win because that is just good math.

And I am a month into 2014 and I have no new resolutions. Some years I totally care, and apparently this isn't one of them.

How did you spend Christmas NYE? Mark and I were kid-free while the babies spent a few nights with my mom, so we got to ring in the new year at a classy restaurant with friends, followed by really fun birthday/NYE champagne cocktails rimmed in frosting and sprinkles, and an upside-down Christmas tree, and New Years Rockin Dicken Clarken Eve or whatever it's called, and also our fancy steakhouse had the best celery Another Nathan has ever had, so.

What dates from 2013 will remain etched in your memory? January 29th: our plane tickets to St. Croix. June 21st: the day Mark and I celebrated ten years of marriage. July 27th: the day after Nathan's 6th birthday, when we went to Montreat together. December 23rd: when my nephew Sullivan was born.

What countries states territories did you visit? The biggest thing this year was our St. Croix trip for Brad's wedding, which I am still high on almost a year later. Not just the vacation, but my whole family of origin, together to celebrate and add Marija to our ranks. And to do it in a beautiful place with my husband and kids and best friend, encompassing the oddest blend of relaxed and chaotic I've ever experienced on a trip. I'm not sure what else a gal could want from a family vacation.

Whose behavior merited celebration? Anneliese, actually. After some terrible hard months, she has now (minus a frustrating nightly cleanup crying habit) settled into that delightful stage of being four. Four is great. Four is cheerful and independent and inquisitive and funny. Even better, four is almost five! (I have yet to encounter an age better than five. If we get to one that trumps five, I will let you know. Til then, five forever!) (Oh whoa, I just saw that last year I said it was Anneliese's behavior that appalled me. Well look at that, she turned it around.)

Whose behavior appalled you? People who still knock on doors. Ring doorbells. Show up in circumstances where that would be warranted. You know what I mean. This has become my favorite thing to hate, except I actually hate to have to hate it, because HOW IS THIS STILL A THING??

If I know you are coming, come on in. If I don't know you are coming, you fall into two groups: 1- you have a key, and can come in whenever you want (without knocking), or 2- I don't want you to come over. Solicitors are most definitely in the second group. Delivery people who knock on doors and then run back to their trucks are also in the second group. Neighbors who want to talk to us about fence fixing or hedge trimming or whether or not the city is going to build a sidewalk on our road, IN THE SECOND GROUP. 

I'm just not sure how or why it is still a culturally appropriate thing to show up at someone's house, in their space, and assume that they would stop what they are doing and deal with what you want them to deal with, on your time, when you were not invited or even necessarily welcome, and if you want them to BUY SOMETHING FROM YOU, then that is even worse because it is an egregious distortion of the appropriate consumer/provider relationship. 

Let's let 2014 be the year that we, as a society, reserve showing up unannounced at people's houses for only times of emergency or need.

Okay, end rant. That is not what this post is about. Moving on.

What was great this year when you weren't expecting it? Montreat. It was a pretty last-minute decision to volunteer for the youth conference as a small group leader, and an even more last-minute decision to have Nathan come with me. And then suddenly what I had been expecting to be a simple champerone on a church trip turned out so much better. Truly, a highlight of my year.

Who is the best new person you met? Liz. Hands down, Liz. Liz from Montreat, Utah Liz, LIZ. I don't want to be all sappy about her (again) on the internet, but she is super, and I can't remember the last time I met someone with whom I connected so easily and so quickly. And it has lasted, even months after the conference last summer. (Also, I think this year I started to re-claim my own extroversion. I love meeting new people and listening to their stories. My life hadn't afforded much of that in the past few years, and then in 2013 it was everywhere, and I enjoyed it. Liz was a big reason why.)

Who did you miss? These days I miss my sister a lot, especially since she spent most of the year pregnant, and last time she was pregnant we were pregnant together, and so it made me think of her, and us, pretty often. Every time Ashley and I visit, we just talk a mile a minute and hear each other's feeeelings and then suddenly it has been hours and we're exhausted but in a really good really connected way, and yeah I just kinda love her a lot and I miss her when she feels far.

What did you get really really excited about? Our trip to Chicago, a trip just for Mark and me. I get excited any time the two of us can get away together. We are great on vacation, and there is no one else I would rather travel with. I had a ton of fun planning it out and booking it (Mark and I both love that the planning is MY part of any trip) and then I looked forward to it for months. And then it was an awesome trip. Because of my excellent planning. And also because Chicago is lovely and Marky is great and blah blah blah whatever GOLD STAR FOR TRIP PLANNING, SELF.

Where did most of your money go? Mortgage, health insurance, taxes, school tuition, Starbucks.

What was the best thing you bought? The chromebook. I have my own computer! That I share with other people also, but whatever, we now are a family of more than just one computer!

What was your favorite show? The Mindy Project and Parenthood are the two shows Mark and I most look forward to watching. We also continue to watch the hell out of Daniel Tiger which the kids, especially Charlotte, adore. I know the jingle that goes with every episode, oh yes I do. Feel free to be very impressed. *brushes shoulder*

What was your favorite book? Eleanor & Park, by Rainbow Rowell. Her writing is beautiful and honest and clear, and the story is about young love. Like, real love. It is a really really great book.

What was your favorite movie? Mark and I went and saw The Secret Life of Walter Mitty the day before New Year's Eve, and we loved it. It was part sobering reality, part fantastical daydream, had beautiful scenery in Iceland and the Himalayas, and was easy and delightful to watch. 

How would you describe your personal fashion concept this year? How many scarves do you now own? Twenty-six. Come at me brah.

How old were you on your birthday, and what did you do? I turned 33, and I had a lunch date with Another Nathan and we did our traditional first peek through the mall to start forming Christmas lists. Then I had a fancy and romantic Laotian dinner date with Marky. And then a couple nights later we had mexican food and spicy cocktails at an empanada bar with some friends downtown. It was lovely and exactly what I wanted.

What was your biggest achievement in 2013? This rainbow cake.

Your biggest failure? My ongoing struggle to be more patient and kind, especially with the kids. Sometimes they drive me nuts doing things that are perfectly benign, and I want to react to that better. In those situations, my nerve-shot feeling is almost always about me, not them.

What song will always remind you of 2013? Imagine Dragons - On Top of the World. Yes, I know it was actually released a whole year ago, but Nathan and I sang it a thousand times wandering around Montreat and now when I hear it, that is what I remember -- our first trip there. Also A Great Big World's This is the New Year, which I used in his birthday video, was one of my favorite songs this year too.

What kept you sane? This is a serious question, yo. Sanity is no joke, and when I am able to come by it, I don't take it for granted. The precious hours Mark and I together many evenings, after the kids go to bed but before we do, are probably the most sanity-giving regular times in my routine. Also consistent support and friendship from Another Nathan, especially our Wednesday coffee dates and Tuesday post-choir blue moon chats, which are so healthy in need-to-vent or need-to-laugh ways, depending on the week. Also choir itself. Also my unlimited texting plan. Also library books. Also coffee. COFFEEEEEE.

What valuable lesson did you learn this year? Lesson still being fine tuned: not to let a bad day overwhelm me about my forever.

Summer Bucket Did-it List

It was an easy first week of the school year with the girls here at home, since they aren't staring back til this week, and verrrrry graaaaadually. (Well, I say "easy" without accounting for the bickering, which I am about sick to death of, and also the fact that Anneliese has been stuck in The Grandparent Hangover That Will Never End, alternating between delightful and then suddenly sobbing, pushing my nerves to the outer limits of human understanding. And without accounting for the heavy job stuff still hanging around like a wet blanket over our ability to feel relaxed, or Nathan side-stepping a little to find his place, and yeah, suddenly now writing this it doesn't sound like an easy week at all.)

*record scratch*

Okay, well it was a slow week together with the girls, at least. I just couldn't make myself do much besides hang out here at home. After we get through our variety of first days this week and the mmo/preschool schedule officially kicks in, it will bring an era of one-on-one time with each of them, which is yay! for me but maybe not as super for them? So I just wanted us to be home and be together for a few more days. Normally I cherish and protect my afternoon quiet during their naps, but these days I have been pushing errands and appointments for that time instead of dragging the girls along in the morning, and reserving mornings for relaxing and playing.

I just want to BE.

Anyway.

(Mark and Another Nathan have been laughing at me for how often I say anyway. It seems it's not just a written tic in emails/blogs, but an out-loud voicemail disease I can't cure myself of.) (Leaving voicemails in the first place is apparently another one.)

ANYWAY.

What am I blogging about again? I don't know. The end of summer? Yes, okay. That.

It was a good summer, y'all! I wanted it to be, I was ready for it, and I was also prepared to feel over it -- but aside from a few frustrating days, I really haven't. Basically this summer taught me that I want all summers home with my kids, and whatever work I go back to (someday) will maybe need to allow that. Like, the content of the work matters of of course, but the "career potential" might matter less than the schedule. (I have to put that in quotes. It seems so laughable. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up! Still! "Career potential." Ha.) So yeah. Our super summer means that kind of thing has been stewing in my head a bit.

So! Super summer! We did (almost) everything on our bucket list:

1.) Eat hot dogs in the back of a pickup truck. DONE.

2.) Throw water balloons onto the side of the guest house. Oops? Totally forgot about this.

3.) Make surprise crayons. DONE, with side effects.

4.) Go to that place where everyone gets to choose their own restaurant. The mall food court, hell slash paradise. DONE.

5.) Take swim lessons. DONE.

6.) Take dance lessons. DONE. (I will post more about this. Soon.)

7.) Go on lunch dates. DONE.

8.) Go to the beach for the day. DONE.

9.) Read 99 books. DONE. Look at sweet Nathan with his complete and stapled list!!

10.) Make a cake that looks like dirt with worms on it. DONE.

11.) Go downtown and go up in that big tower again. DONE.

12.) Camp in the backyard with Daddy. DONE.

13.) Go to lego camp. Oh y'all. This was a heartbreak of the summer. We found out at 5pm on Friday before his camp started (Monday morning) that it had been canceled due to not enough kids having signed up, which, first of all, what. Not enough kids interested in legos? I don't understand. Also, a little more notice would have been great, considering it was the last week of summer and they gave us no time to make alternate plans and oh my heaven he would have been crushed, so good thing we had added Montreat in and were fresh off the heels of that. Boooo lego camp. This one is definitely happening next summer. (Also if y'all want to see Mark's rage face, which doesn't come out very often, cancel his kid's lego camp at the last minute. Rage face!)

14.) Go to the zoo and ask Charlotte what her favorite animal is. DONE. Her favorite is a dutt! (She calls all birds dutts.) (And dinosaur statues too, apparently.)

what is this, Daddy? this is not a dutt.

15.) Have a dinosaur pool party. DONE, and with gusto.

16.) Dance in the car. DONE.

17.) Have sleepovers in Mommy's room. DONE.

18.) Do a picnic at the airport. Ummm we forgot about this too. I went to the airport, more times than I would have preferred, for less glamorous reasons than I preferred (lots of picking up and dropping off and not enough of me going anywhere myself) but we did not picnic or watch planes and we should have!

19.) List item added by Grandpa: go visit Grandpa! (And other various grandparents and relatives.) So all the kids got to visit grandparents at some point this summer, but Anneliese really knocked this one out of the ballpark with a marathon ten-day trip to three different houses. Which was fun for her, and logistically/driving smart, but too achy for me. Will share more pics of that at some point too. You should see the outfits she (my mom?) picked for some of her outings. Internet gold.

Not on the bucket list but also completed: catch the kitchen on fire, have many Starbucks dates, play in the pool a ton, kill a snake with a shovel, have an incredible trips to Chicago and Montreat, watch the trailer for this upcoming dinosaur movie three hundred thousand times (that youtube link has 371 thousand views, and 300 thousand are from Nathan), eat a lot of post-gym dunkin donuts in our sweaty clothes, and drive ourselves nuts trying to solve The Mystery of the Sticker Mail.

That'll do, summer 2013. That'll do.

Chicago Chicago Chicago!

Okay I am about to be really annoying and rave all about a beautiful American city that everyone else probably already knew was awesome, but we didn't, and we loved it, so now you get to hear me say a lot how much we loved it. Okay? Okay.

Chicago!

If you missed it before, this trip was part anniversary celebration, part Thailand consolation prize, part sheer desperation to be away somewhere, together, just us. We like big cities and we hadn't spent much time in Chicago (despite so many family roots there on my mom's side!) and we could get there with miles, so... Chicago. A bit random, but yknow, whatevs.

Our first day involved taking the wrong train to Somewhere Random, Chicagoland, and then trying to catch a bus outside a Home Depot with two dying phone batteries and only a quarter clue where we were but hey! we have had weirder lost adventures!

(Y'all only wish I had been blogging back when we got on an unmarked bus bound for who-knows-where in downtown Beijing, and then got in a fight with a rickshaw cyclist -- it definitely involved cash being thrown in the street in front of God and everyone) (and don't ever ever ask my mom about the time we took her on a train to the wrong country and then tried to play it off like we meant to do it that way the whole time) (y'all are all dying to travel with me right now, aren't you? I am actually an excellent traveler! I am! Really! But I digress.)

So anyway we found Wrigley field, where we were trying to go. And because it wasn't a game day, we got to tour it -- including the press box and locker rooms and go out on the field. Mark was predictably geeked up on baseball and nostalgia. But y'all! The stadium really is beautiful! And the city behind it!

Okay I will cool it with the exclamation points now, it's just a baseball field. It gets way better.

Like, our beautiful hotel with a lovely view of Lake Shore Drive. See?

And the spectacularly fancy Water Tower Place mall next door. Fancy, see?

And the perfect foodie dinner (something top chef Stephanie something? we didn't watch the show, we just follow restaurant suggestions) with an unexpected rooftop bar at the top full of fun music and craft beers (in cans! oh Chicago you hipster, you) and a great view -- see?

And drinking coffee on top of the John Hancock tower the next morning wasn't shabby either. Y U NO TELL US U SO PRETTY, CHICAGO??

We also did some things that we love that other people might find nerdy (take lots of pictures on L trains, poke our head into several beautiful churches, admire all the adult-built with Legos on display (it is apparently A Thing in Chicago to have a lego model of whatever building you're in, in the lobby. yes really) and take far too many couple-selfies standing in islands in the middle of busy streets. (There is a picture link at the bottom of this post if you're dying to see all that. Obviously you are.)

I am ashamed to say we didn't eat any steak (I know!) but we did at least find some delicious pizza at this famous place Giordano's (again with the following of restaurant suggestions).

And we went to what midwesterners adorably call "the beach" which, yes, okay, it has sand and water (big water!) but... but. Y'all. It's not the beach. I mean if I lived smack dab in the middle of the country I would be all over it, but only because there was no real beach. It must be how people in the Caribbean feel about Myrtle. (Myrtle y'all!)

But it was fine and fun and we were glad to spend an afternoon in the sand relaxing. And we had never been on a beach underneath skyscrapers before. Very weird and kind of awesome.

And since we were there for the fourth, we took a sailing trip out into the harbor (on a tall ship! I had never been on one of those before! very cool) to watch fireworks over the skyline.

It was... well, perfect. We drank cocktails and snuggled and it was dark and romantic and OH MAH GAH I am so cheesy right now but basically I loved every second and I'm not really ashamed to admit that. 

It was lovely.

And then when it was over we weren't ready to leave the pier and go back to real life ("real life" being our swanky hotel room downtown) so we stuck around the pier and shopped for cheesy souvenirs and shared a cookie in a skillet. Which of course delayed us on the pier til super late, later than was easy to get back into town, which OF COURSE resulted in our hopping on some whatever bus that happened to be sitting there. We figured it would take us someplace where we could figure out where we were, and it did, and we did, because these things always work out. Usually.

Oh! And one other really cool (nerdy? no, cool, let's go with cool) thing we did was take a river tour of Chicago architecture. Yes, it's really a thing people do there. And it really is cool. Seeing the city is beautiful from the river. And I totally mostly kind of part-way listened when Mark was telling me all about some fascinating thing he saw on A&E Top Engineering Disasters That Are Boring to Wives of Engineers (that might not be the exact title, check your listings) about someone drilling something too deep and flooding the city? Yeah I can't believe I even just subjected y'all to that sentence about it, actually.

Anyway the tour was great and our guide/docent was this warm Chicago native with an adorable midwestern accent who actually got choked up looking at the skyline. Like, literally choked on her sentence! Tears in her eyes! We loved her, is what I'm saying.

And the moral of the story is that everyone should big-puffy-heart *love* Chicago just like that lady. And us, now.

And then we took some pictures under the Bean and had froyo at the top of a skyscraper and flew home. The end.

(More pictures click here.)