(Half) A Year in the Life

So. I missed this here little ol' blog, and I came over a few days ago to dust it off and get caught up, and there were gross horrible rapey comments waiting for moderation, and it momentarily upended how I felt about the internet, because amongst all the loveliness and wonderful human connection, there is apparently horrible barf-inducing assholery as well, and even though that's a thing you think you know, you don't know it til it's aimed at your own children.

So, I did what any normal person would do and I locked this sh!t down. Hello from this newly guard-railed space which can't be googled and no longer has links posted in any public profile, where people only find me if I share on a platform that's now private, because all my platforms are now private. Which means people only find me if I share myself where they can.

Hi! You found me! I shared myself to you!

Y'all, it hasn't been our best season/s in these parts. The honest but not-gritty recap:

NOVEMBER

I turned 35, Another Nathan flew in on my birthday and Mark and I had a lovely visit with him, and I felt very loved and very middle-aged.

Mark and I took a grownups-only trip to Mexico, and my dad came and stayed in our house for a week and managed everything (everything!) at home, because he is amazing. Mexico was also amazing. Mark was amazing. It was such a happy trip.

Mark turned 35. We had cake and a date and took this family picture. Yay family!

I started a new job.

!!!!!!!

I mentioned this in my year-end recap post; it's the same job I did before, but with a different company. The whole going-back-to-work thing was really fraught and stressful, half because I'm suddenly 35 and don't know what to do with my life, and half because Mark's work is so batsh!t insane that it's really difficult to piece any kind of work schedule together and balance it with also picking up the slack at home, plus all the normal stuff I do (I was already busy). And, so, things kind of came to a head around this time about the balance in our marriage and house and life, and there were ugly feelings and patterns surrounding some of that and, well, yeah.

Speaking of ugly, this laptop bag I got from my company is kind of the worst, yes?

(I got a new one to tide me over until I find The Bag, don't worry.) (Suggestions welcome, if you love your laptop bag, by the way.)

DECEMBER

It was not our best holiday season. It's kind of a blur now. But here, look at a sweet Christmas picture of the babies.

JANUARY

We got a new car! I forced Mark (forced!) to feel his feelings about his old Mazda, the first car we ever bought together, and we sold it and are now back to being an Accord family. It'll be mine when the van dies, and whatever Big Car we get to replace it will be mostly Mark's to drive around daily. SEDAN ME, YO.

Since we didn't get our traditional New Year's Eve all together, I flew to Minnesota for Another Nathan's birthday. It was -36 with the wind chill (yes that says NEGATIVE THIRTY SIX OH EM GEE) when I went to church that Sunday morning. I secretly felt like a badass and I secretly love the snow, but only because it's in a place with plows and such. Was a delightful visit and left feeling... spirit-filled. Friendship-filled. Etc.

We lost power for a night in an ice storm and the kids and I camped out by the (gas) fireplace and read books out loud. It was surprisingly sweet, in a Laura Ingalls (cussy) kind of way.

Also, Charlotte helped me with work, and it sort of delighted me, on the days it didn't exhaust me.

I'M RIGHT ON TOP OF THAT, ROSE!

And that is legit the most exciting thing to report in all of January.

FEBRUARY

Anneliese burned her hand badly on the stove while helping me make sloppy joes.

She also read Amelia Bedelia and sent funny texts about it.

And wore this great outfit.

Hmmm I'm grasping at straws. February mostly sucked.

MARCH

I went to Pawley's Island to see my friend Amy for the weekend, and play with her kids at the beach. It was cold so we didn't put the kids in swimsuits, but they got in anyway, and who couldn't have seen that coming?

Our grocery store stopped selling my favorite bread that I love for toast, so I started making my own. Because I love toast. I eat it every day. With coffee. Toast is a meal for me. Anyway.

I played with recipes until I figured out how to do it exactly how I like it, and it's a barely-changed version of Arwen's "the bread" and hey it turns out I'm not scared of yeast anymore, and it makes me feel all Laura Ingalls (the good way) to do this for myself every week.

Bowden's kidneys started to lose functioning. Our sweet girl is getting old.

March wasn't really my favorite either.

APRIL

Things started to feel a little less sucky in these parts, for a moment.

We got a new nephew! Meet baby Charlie! This is Ali's little brother. Anneliese of course always loves a new baby to hold.

We celebrated Easter, but sadly not with a beach drive, since Bumgarner Beach Week is moved to August this year. The kids looked cute though.

We went camping as a family. It was pretty, the kids loved it, it was fine. No one sleeps well when camping, right? But campfire food is always delicious.

I went to Las Vegas for the Blathering, and it turns out Vegas is nothing like I was picturing, in all the best ways. It was clean and fun and lively and beautiful, and I tell you what, people in Vegas know how to commit to a theme. It's just all very... well done.

This is my favorite picture with Sarah that we have ever taken.
Every time I look at it I feel happy.
I legit keep it in an album on my phone of things to look at on crappy days.
I love her.

And it was wonderful to be with amazing ladies who are good for my heart and make me laugh til I cry, and love me even in hard seasons, and do not hate my life even when I hate it, and to hug Another Nathan on the way home via MSP.

Basically re-entry sucked, after a happy laughy weekend away from real life. Suuuuuucked. On many levels, but not the least of which was Charlotte getting terribly sick with a chest infection (shocker) (asthma baby) and that bled into a vom bug, and it was generally  miserable.

MAY

Anneliese got a grade-level responsibility award at school, and we about burst with pride.

She also sang an adorable solo in her chorus concert at school.

Everything's coming up Anneliese!

We all (well, except Charlotte, but she was there, listening) sang/played together in a music festival at church. A seriously lovely family moment after lots of hard months.

Nathan got big kid teeth! And had several teeth pulled in preparation for braces, sometime... sometime. Who knows exactly when. Braces! They are coming!

He also played delightfully in his orchestra concert and is vying for a spot in the advanced group next fall. (Is maybe a long shot? I can't tell.)

My work got completely insane and busy, and I needed to do it full time, which we had expected for spring, but we didn't know what that would feel like on the home front til I was doing it. Working full time from home with only a few hours of childcare a day is NO JOKE, especially when May is too much anyway. Just... too much. People of the world: May is too much. Please spread the schedule around a bit. COME ON.

I laughed-to-keep-from-crying by singing into my phone headset like Britney, basically every day. (I cried too, because obviously.) (Mark's job continued/continues to be also insane.) (SOMETHING HAS TO GIVE.)

Charlotte finished her last day of preschool, ever. Here she is starting 2's in 2013, and finishing 4's this spring.

Lest you think she is always this beautiful, you should know she smiled like this on the first attempt:

I don't even know.

At some point in May, Mark went to Seattle for a week and kicked off a long several weeks/months of us like ships passing in the night. Trips backing up to each other, and work schedules, and yeah.

We needed the space but then also missed each other, which is a really nice feeling when you think about it.

JUNE

I started the month with a Memorial Day road trip with Another Nathan, from Minnesota down to North Carolina, kinda reversed from what we did when we moved him up there two summers ago. Turns out, we're still great at road trips.

Then I spent two weeks and change at Montreat, where he had asked me to be the office manager for the first several weeks of youth conference, which he DIRECTED this year, and did amazingly well.

Montreat was wonderful and spirit-filling as always. My heart has a whole blog post stirring about just this, but not today.

Oh and also I broke my foot there. *cringe face emoji*

After the conference, we had a few days of all of us at home for a moment, and Another Nathan and Mr David visiting. and we celebrated our 13th anniversary and the success of the youth conference and David's new book (!!) and all was well.

Mark went on ASP and I missed him, again. Re-entry sucked, again.

At some point we went on a date and I ordered this drink with a flower in it and we took this picture together and it makes me smile to look at it, so I am posting it here.

Marriage is hard work but sometimes you look cute, so.

Things I Am Crabby About

Happy April! I am crabby.

1.) I don't know if it's a cold or allergies or what, but my head is killing me and I am sneezy and this is terrible timing for going to the beach next week.

2.) It is still cold out. It's getting ridiculous. I cannot remember a winter that lingered this long. We are back to life, back to reality, spring break is over, yet it somehow isn't spring yet. Spring, you suck, and you're over a month late, and I'm pissed at you.

3.) This morning in preschool chapel, they celebrated Easter. IN THE MIDDLE OF HOLY WEEK. There are still crushed palms on the floor that have been poignant and achy (appropriately so) for the Lent services all week; I don't want to watch kids doing a choreographed hallelujah cheer in the middle of Holy Week. I mean what? Why not wait until next week? It'll be actual Eastertide then. Today would have been much more appropriate to do a lesson around the Last Supper, or even the Hosanna parade from Palm Sunday (since they were on spring break last week). Not Easter. Not yet. We are doing ourselves and our kids a disservice when we cheapen church for them. TELL THEM THE WHOLE STORY. (Hi I have officially become a curmudgeon.)

4.) Delta changed my schedule home from the Blathering in Seattle in a few weeks (my connection between Salt Lake City and Atlanta is now a misconnect) and that's a normal thing they're totally allowed to do, and they don't owe me any particular connection points, and I certainly didn't pay to stop in SLC for any amount of time, and I had to look on the timetables and then use a million search filters to force the website to offer me that option anyway, because the schedule is terrible, but I WANTED the stop in Salt Lake City (hi I am a worker-of-the-system), because I had an hours-long layover and dinner plans with Liz. And now I don't get that. And it's not the end of the world, but: CRABBY. (Mostly sad.)

5.) The stupid B key on my stupid computer still doesn't work, and that makes it hard to type an all-caps word like CRABBY.

6.) There is a general underlying assumption about my time: that I am around, available, and at everyone's disposal, to schedule (or unschedule) things for me, and even at the last minute it's assumed that's fine. I, uh... I exist outside of what People need me for. I am not a public commodity. And yes this is cryptic because Some Of The People Who Do This are reading here, and I am too chicken sh!t (and exhausted) (and passive aggressive, apparently) to address it directly, I just need to be pissy about it and vent for a second. I feel gross and taken for granted. (If you think you might be Some People -- check yoself. Whether it's about me or any other stay-at-home-parent you know. Our time is not "free time" or "available time" unless you PLAN and ASK. End rant.)

6.) April Fool's Day makes the whole internet annoying. Pranks are annoying to me anyway (#teamRoss) and half of what people post are not even pranks or April Fool's jokes. Saying something that isn't true? Not a prank. Shut up. It's annoying. (And companies who need to make their ads and promos into jokes are even worse than the general population.)

7.) Nathan gifted Anneliese one of the clay boat hulls he had carefully molded for his science project (the project is done now), and she broke it into a million tiny pieces and put it in a ziplock bag. And then looked at me confused when I told her it isn't really nice to break something someone gives you, especially if they made it. She was all, "why? he gave it to me so it's mine." How can kids be so wonderful and have such awful moments? (Not singling out Anneliese, either. Charlotte has been tantruming in the pre-dawn hours every day for the last week, and Nathan took a huge amount of nagging to do said science project in the first place. IT'S NOT MY PROBLEM I DON'T WANT TO MANAGE IT.)

(I got lost in the Wal-Mart parking lot a few weeks ago -- yes really, shut up, it was more complicated than it sounds but I don't care enough about explaining myself to explain myself -- but then I found this bright scarf, and it came in a 2-pack but I threw the other one away immediately, so anyway at least I have a relatively pretty $3 scarf? Whatever.)

Next week will be 75 and we will be at the beach and life will be less annoying right?

So This Is "Spring Break"

We have had a spell of trecherous* weather that has resulted in like nine days of missed school, and they haven't officially announced how/when we will make it up, but I'm assuming we just enjoyed our "spring break" of sorts (fine by me, we have no spring break plans over actual spring break, we are taking ours later anyway to go to the beach with my dad like we do every year).

(*The NC version of trecherous = some legit snow, some legit ice, and a lot of days - A LOT of days - waiting for all the icy patches to melt on even the smallest of shady no-light back roads, so the buses can safely drive, because we ain't got no snowplows, etc etc etc.)

The first day it snowed, the kids wanted nothing to do with it. They stood inside and watched it and were glad for a day off school, but I couldn't even beg them into the yard to play. I think they were traumatized. Their last snow experience was something else. (It was a sheet of ice and no fun for playing that day anyway, not that it stopped everyone else in the county, according to my instagram feed.)

Once we had some real snow, I went out and walked around in it (enchanted like a proper southerner) and eventually the kids joined me.

Some pictures of the snow, because it's still novel enough (or so we claim? even though it has happened several years in a row now?) that it warrants photographing.

Our backyard:

Across our front yard, at the last snow which was really heavy and wet:

By the time Mark and the kids were building a snowman in the front yard, it was super warm out and Mark was in a t-shirt. Yes, it took baring the grass to get enough snow for even that tiny snowman. This is... so North Carolina:

Snow selfie:

Also, find me something more delightful than a five-year-old who is delighted by swinging in the snow. Go ahead. Find it. (It doesn't exist. This is the most delightful.)


Oh! And! I bought new snow boots back in the fall (for no good reason, they were just there at TJ Maxx and impossibly cute) and I was not ashamed about feeling glad for an excuse to wear them.

In related news, I had a whole rant ready about how annoyed I am at moms (parents) (but mostly I see moms) who complain about having their kids home for days on end. I mean, yes, I get it. We all get stir crazy. Especially when the roads really aren't safe. (I'm not taking chances with that again.) But! There are people who have to miss work when their kids miss school, and therefore miss pay when their kids miss school, and some of those are the same people who need their kids at school for free and reduced lunches, and backpack buddies for weekend groceries, and the like. Having extra mouths to feed for extra meals a day when you're suddenly with a lower paycheck? Sucks. But those are not the people who I see complaining online, it's the white rich ladies and I just want them to shut up, or do it with nuance, or something, Everyone has feelings and I get that, but. Don't be gross. Don't be a dick. That's all.

(This is the short version of my rant because it's snowing and I am still enchanted.)

(Also I've been getting to sleep later, because no school! And Ali hasn't been coming since her parents are off work. And sleeping til 8 makes me a better mom, TRUE STORY. Thanks, snow.)

Ice Skating and a Chinese Buffet (A Patriotic Holiday)

So today is Presidents Day, except not really, because Nathan has school. Except not really, because I didn't make him go, because I told him it was a holiday (I thought it was! my calendar said so! my calendar doesn't lie! except this one time) and the girls are out of school, and it's supposed to snow/ice tomorrow which means we will be out of school all week anyway, and what's the point of going for just one day? There is no lasting education happening (that won't need to be repeated) in a one-day week. Anyway, I decided to let him stay home and make the most of my mistake.

And that's the story of why Presidents Day isn't Presidents Day this year. Which is... not a story.

But what we did do with our Presidents Day non-holiday is go... ice skating. I KNOW. MY KIDS. I KNOW. But we tried for a trampoline jump place and they were closed, and ice skating was next door, so we tried something new.

Well, the girls did. Nathan wanted none of it. Although he did take some pictures for us. So, thanks for that, grumpy gus?

Charlotte mostly wanted to hold my hands (ask me what makes ME unsteady on skates? a three-year old hanging on me, that's what) but Anneliese got braver and braver and was off in the middle of the rink, pushing around the stacks of buckets they had on hand for young kids. Really cute, and she was so proud. She is asking for ice skating lessons now. Cute.

And then Nathan and Anneliese had been asking for Chinese food (I don't even know) and since I am the kind of lady who loves a Chinese buffet, we had planned a buffet date for the "school holiday" (remember that thing about how I didn't remember it was a holiday, so).

Y'all, they loved it. My picky eaters tried all kinds of new things, they made lists of what they loved and didn't love, they went back for seconds, we had dessert, we left full and happy and it was the most random thing but also delightful.

So we celebrated President's Day by trying ice skating for the first time, and then pigging out with picky eaters at a Chinese buffet. Anything else would have been unamerican, amiright?

The New Year: Minus Eighteen

Minnesota, take three: the one where I laugh at myself because I thought it was frigid cold when it snowed in the middle of November last fall, but that was before we showed up to visit Another Nathan in January and it was EIGHTEEN BELOW.

What I'm saying is, Mark and I have a new record for cold under our belts. We don't have to live in it all the time, therefore we can laugh about it. And also totally brag about how hardy* we are. (*Not that hardy. We were wide-eyed and mostly horrified. Ask  me if I remembered to pack a hat and gloves. Go ahead, ask me.)

Anyway, we had some air miles, a free place to stay, and free coverage for the kids (thanks Ashley! and Grandma!) so after several of the worst and most chaotic days of 2014 (seriously the van broke and the washing machine broke at the same time, and it was also the day my sister's kids were visiting, and that is a LOT of repairmen and rides to juggle with six children you have no way of transporting, but that's a sob story that is long over now), we happily boarded a plane at the ass-crack of dawn so we could have a grownup getaway for New Year's Eve weekend.

We had a fancy NYE (slash Mr. David's birthday) dinner at a trendy foodie place in downtown Minneapolis. (If you're reading this in MN, go to Coup D'Etat - it is a cool space with a great bar and a delicious menu, and we loved it.) We ate some crazy ridiculous tasty food and had some Kir Royales and other fun champagne cocktails.

Mark ordered bone marrow, proving he's the only actual foodie amongst us, but we all tried it, so HEY ADD THAT TO THE NEW THINGS WE DID IN 2014 LIST (yes we made a list).

(Bone marrow not pictured. You're welcome.)

And then we went to a really fun symphony concert with delightful music, which afterwards had a party with more champagne and there were light-up tambourines and a free vuvuzela (there is almost nothing in life that Marky loves more than an unnecessary vuvuzela) (and let's be honest, they are allll unnecessary) and two stories' worth of crowds cheering in fun glow-stick type lighting, and Sylvia McNair singing "What Are You Doing New Year's Eve" and it was just all.. so fun. Laughing fancy fun.

And not because we all buzzed that vuvuzela on each other in any inappropriate ways or anything. We are for sure too classy for that. Ahem.

Our very favorite people for ringing in a new year, true story.

After our fancy night out, we had some easy slow days at Another Nathan's house. Exactly the kind of cozy and lazy you want when you're kid-free with no agenda except to hang out and recharge. We slept laaaaate every day. (Mark slept more than he has in literally months.)

This is thirty.
(Read: thirty-four.)
(It's not 2015 til I creep on naptime with phone pics.)

We ventured out for a few lunches and dinners. We listened to Nathan practice at church. We made a fondue dinner together. We had winter cocktails by the fire.

One afternoon the boys all went to see the Hobbit movie (zzzzzz amiright?) (Mark and Another Nathan have seen all of them together, so it's some sort of tradition for them) while I stayed home and read in his bathtub which is a thousand percent better than our kiddie-bathroom non-garden tub here at home.

We wandered around St. Olaf since Mark had never been there, and it's so lovely in the snow. We went to church with Another Nathan and heard THE St. Olaf choir sing in his worship service (his church founded the college and choir, so it's an annual tradition to have them sing there) and it was stunning.

And! We went to Sarah's tiny town and got to see her again. Two times in two months!

This time I got to meet her husband and she got to meet Mark, and y'all! Like internet friends turned real-life friends aren't great enough, meeting each other's spouses is even better. We had a double date at this little restaurant on a lake, except it's MINNESOTA IN JANUARY so the lake is totally FROZEN and you can WALK ON IT.

(Okay, all ye people of the winter, who just shrugged -- all the southerners just read that and gasped, I promise.)

We thought it was the coolest thing, and I wasn't even that nervous* except at first (*bold-faced lie).

Oh! Here is another awesome Northfield thing. One night we went downtown for drinks (and popcorn! best, right?) and I somehow left my phone in the bar all night. When I when I went back for it the next day, not only did the owner see me through the window and open up the closed bar for me, and know exactly what I was there for, he had also called Nathan's church to say they found it (someone there saw him and thought someone said he worked at that church), and, AND! They had charged it all night. Charged my lost phone for me! SMALL TOWNS, MAN. Delightful.

Almost delightful enough to make up for that thing where it's minus eighteen degrees in broad daylight.

Nathan, David, Sarah: I would like to put each of your faces in this cartoon:

So. Good trip. Happy New Year, y'all.