The Mom Crush

So, I hope it isn't weird to tell the internet this, but I totally have mom crushes. Yes, that's crushes. Plural. On other moms.  Moms who are beautiful and together and classy but not in an showy way because that's just annoying and I can't tolerate it and just HA HA NO. Anyway in my dream world I want to be like these moms and maybe be besties with them. In a non-weird mom crush kind of way.

1.) Gretchen Rubin. I know it's a cliche to have a crush on the trendy mommy writer of the moment, but I totally do. She's smart, she's funny, and she's obsessed with happiness.  Shouldn't we all be a bit more obsessed with happiness?

2.) Michelle Duggar. Say what you will about their family's procreation choices, but Michelle Duggar is kind and patient and also she waterskis and jumps out of planes when her kids suggest it for fun. I find that awesome.  (Note: I do not have a crush on her hair.)

3.) Caroline F from church. She's a single mom who I know in real life (!) (oh the crushing!) who is a talented career woman. She's a lawyer! For justice! A classy mom, fighting for the good guys? Yes please. Also she is so beautiful I get a little fidgety around her and sometimes am too aware of what I should be doing with my hands and yes it sounds like a schoolgirl crush but she is that gorgeous. (Oh and I do have a crush on her hair. Maybe in an embarrassing way. My God she has good hair.)

4.) Claire Dunphy. Yes I know she's a fictional character; just go with it. She's neurotic and has fully embraced her own specific brand of Crazy. As has her family. How could I not have a crush on that?

5.) Kelley C from Furman. Proud to call her one of my best friends. Kelley is the blend of fun and firm that I aspire to be. Mad parenting skillz, y'all.

6.) Ree Drummond. Yes, I have a mom crush on the Pioneer Woman. PW. P-Dubs. (I can totally call her that.) She cooks beautiful food, and she takes lovely photographs that her family will always thank her for. Also her shameless admiring of her husband's behind is adorable. Oh and she's Presbyterian, so there's that.

7.) Another Nathan's mom. I've never met a mom who is better with her adult children, not ever. She's hands-off enough to let her kids be brave and independent enough to settle far from home, yet she's still engaged enough to be legitimately encouraging in their everyday lives. She's who I want to be when my kids grow up.

8.) Michelle Obama. Crushing on her arms (predictable) and her teeth and her brain and her Gap/Target fashion sense. Married to power yet anything but a bland trophy wife. Also she's a stickler for bedtime.  A mommy after my own heart.

9.) Heather Armstrong. Dooce is the funniest and most honest mom on the internet. Someday I will be brave enough to be a fraction of either of those things. Someday.

10.) Maria von Trapp, the Julie Andrews version (obvs). This should really go without saying. She's pretty, she's fighty, she's a good teacher, she's motivating, she's outdoorsy, she sews and crafts, she sings beautifully, and a sexy first kiss, well she can do it up right. And dammit she has confidence in sunshine! (Except she probably wouldn't say dammit.) If that's not the whole package, I don't know what is. Huge huge huge life-changing crush.

(This post totally inspired by something Anne Kimball wrote at the Scary Mommy soceity.)

Another Charleston Wedding

We just got back from our second Charleston wedding in as many years, this one for my cousin Meredith. I only have two cousins (weird, right?) and they're both getting married this year (weirder, right?) and exactly to the day, three months apart (weird... oh you get my drift).

Anyway the whole thing was a very southern classy affair (what else would you expect from a destination wedding in Charleston?) and Meredith was a lovely bride. And one of the best things about it was having a weekend with my whole family together, even Brad. (That's never not a big deal.)

I forgot my camera and had to do the best I could with my phone (and what I could beg from my brother's iphone in any given moment), and sadly none of those include a shot of the bride and groom. Nonetheless, here are some of my favorite bride-less pics from this weekend...

My siblings and me, and all our loves. This picture makes me smile really big.

Self-pics with Grandpa. #madeyoulaugh

(And he admitted he reads every word of this blog. Twice) (Hi Grandpa. Still confuddled about my fancy phone camera? #shoutout) (That hashtag just confuddled him further. Guarantee it.)

Just breastfeeding my baby on a carriage ride in downtown historic Charleston. Nbd.

Brilliant photobomb by Ashley and John. Clearly soul mates, those two.

Ashley and me with our future sister Marija.

Mark and me, at the ceremony. I love having a hott date.

Congrats to Meredith, the new Mrs. Chapman! Don't worry dear cousin, weddings and names aside, you'll always a bit Bumgarner. And that's a good thing.

On a See-Saw, Grinning

We are headed to Charleston for my cousin Meredith's wedding this weekend. Charlotte is coming with us, but Nathan and Anneliese are right back at Opa and Oma's house. Lots of boating and eating and swinging is in their future.

Your daily Anneliese

I'm assuming this kind of see-saw joy will be upon them again, soonest.

Four-Year-Old Spare

When Brad was here visiting, we took Nathan bowling. Because, when your brother's in the country, there's no better time for bowling and beer than... Monday afternoon?  Just go with it.

Your daily Nathan: yep, about to bowl a spare

We used bumpers, but still. Nathan legitimately beat Uncle Brad. Let the record show.

Brad!

My brother Brad is here from St Croix for the week, sandwiched by two weddings on either end.  He and his fiancee Marija came to Raleigh to see our family and meet baby Charlotte for the first time.

I can't even tell you how happy I am he's here.

Charlotte, Child of God

Charlotte's baptism was this weekend, and she has officially been sealed as a child of Christ's covenant. I have prayed and considered lots about baptism since I became a mom, and particularly since I did a year-long study of church doctrine a while back. As Presbyterians* we believe that baptizing children gives witness to the truth that God’s love claims people even before they are able to respond. I find the significance and mystery of that quite beautiful. It was a really special day for our family.

our family and our pastor, Nolan
(blurry but still beloved)

There's not much better I can say about her baptism beyond what the text* of the lovely anthem our choir sang in honor of Charlotte and Eva* says:



(If you can't see the video embedded above, click here to watch it on YouTube.)

Child of God, I now have chosen you to be my own, in baptismal waters washed you, made my promise known. 


Child of God, I here surround you with this family; sisters, brothers who will love and tend you faithfully. 


“Child of God,” I still will name you though your faith be tried. I have pledged to be your Brother, Savior, Friend, and Guide. 


Child of God, you will I cherish, keep you in my grace till you, all your journey ended, see me face to face.


*Read more of what Presbyterians believe about infant baptism here.
*by Herman G Stuempfle, Jr
*the other child being baptized, also a "choir baby"
(Yes that's Marmie in the back near the harp singing with me in choir!) 
(And none other than Another Nathan, conducting.)

Nathan Pics, Another Round

Been sorting through pics all afternoon, and the shots Nathan takes on his camera (or ours) continue to make me smile. Oh, the things he is moved to capture on film.

Anneliese, his favorite subject.

Other favorites: James, Finn McMissile and Francesco Bernouli

A jumperoo non-fail (yes, it has been replaced).

Proof that we do iron. Sometimes.

A puppy-baby nap on the bonus room floor.

And of course, the requisite self-pic.

A portrait of the artist as a young man? Hmmm.

Anneliese or Charlotte?

For those of us who keep forgetting how much alike the girls really do look, here's a pop quiz:

Anneliese or Charlotte?

(So far no one I've asked in person has gotten them all right. Even Daddy.)

Sailing Dutchmen

The sailing Dutchmen. Just kidding they don't sail they fly. Just kidding they do sail but they didn't sail here to visit us. And they're not even men, just kidding one of them is.

Um.

So, Mark's extended family is visiting from Europe, and we have been in Lake Wateree to visit with them for a few days.  Actually Charlotte and I only made a day trip, due to rapidly disappearing sleep space, but Mark and the two big kids are still down there, I presume doing more of the same: sailing, eating, fishing, talking, playing outside, drinking beer, and more eating.

Anneliese on the dock swing, ready for her boat ride

On the day I was down there, we took Charlotte on the boat for the first time. She wasn't thrilled about it to begin, but after a quick at-sea nursing she enjoyed the breeze, snuggled down in my arms, found her thumb, and fell asleep.

(Why yes, riding along on a boat, surrounded by blue water, in the warm sunshine, with your baby asleep in your arms.. is indeed heavenly.)

Nathan and Anneliese had varying reactions to the boat. One worried, one excited.

Ahhhh my wonderful beautiful predictable children.

Charlotte woke up happy to play with Aunt Digna.

Meanwhile both Anneliese and Nathan fancied themselves fishermen.

And played hard with Uncle Maarten and Agnes.

And sufficiently wore themselves out.

Seems like a happy family reunion to me.

For more pics of the sailing dutchmen in Lake Wateree, click here.

What I Learned at Furman (This Time)

Here are five things I learned at Furman.

Not when I was there as a student (I learned at least seven things then, I mean come on) but when Another Nathan and I both had (unrelated) down time in the Charlotte area and I decided instead of killing a day there, I should take him down to The Bubble and show it off.

Here's what I learned.

1.) I am damn proud of my beautiful alma mater and my time as a student there.

(And of my newfound instagramming abilities.)

2.) The PalaDen still has chicken caesar wraps and they still add extra crunchies on request.

3.) Nathan's organ geekiness gets somewhat adorable when it manifests with him sitting at Furman's new(ish) Fisk, taking tennis shoes to the pedals, staring up at the pipes while he plays. Yes?

(PS he approves of our organ.) (Go paladins.) (And FU all the time.) (This seems organ related.)

4.) The smell of roses is a Furman thing for me. Why I never made the connection until a decade after I went there, I don't know. But standing there by the lake in the rose garden, it's not just that it felt like Furman and looked like Furman, it smelled like Furman. And there's something about smells being closely tied to memories that is oh so true.

5.) We are losers who forgot to take any pictures together on campus. Sad face.

PS- Someone tell Nathan he totes should've gotten a shirt that says FU to promote his Paladin pride. Which, now that he's admired our fountains and met our brilliant professors (Dr. Oakes) and played our fancy organ, he should totally have. And also, you know, for the gym.

Squeaky C: The Brighter Side

Do y'all remember the cry that earned Charlotte her nickname Squeaky C?

Well she is still a squeaky baby but I'm very pleased it's turned from crying to laughing. As if baby giggles aren't awesome enough, the squeaking makes them even better.


If you can't see the video embedded above, click here to watch it on YouTube.
(Sorry the vid is a little dark.)

We love our squeaky giggly girl.

Freckles

Our kids have a slew of freckly relatives (including yours truly), so it's no surprise that fair-skinned Nathan has a few starting to peek through.

Your daily Nathan

Because his nose wasn't cute enough already?

Yet Another Half Birthday Love Letter

Dear Anneliese,
Here we are again. Your half-birthday. And I'm writing yet another love letter, yet another attempt to tell you how much I love you and why, all while knowing it's still mostly impossible to articulate. But knowing I can never fully explain it is a really bad reason for not trying anyway.

So, I try.

Because I want you to know that your smile still melts my heart. That there's no better sight than you bouncing and racing toward me for a hug, and no better feeling than your arms around me and the weight of your head on my shoulder. That your curls in the sunlight bring tears sometimes. That your smell -- grubby and slobbery and sweet -- makes me a little lovedrunk.

And because I am so proud of you, sweetie. What we call feistyness or stubbornness is a beautiful strong spirit who doesn't easily give up, isn't scared to try new things, and is so determined to do them well. You're bright and independent and already at this tender age have struck a lovely balance between going after what excites you, and managing to stay charming to others while you do it. My heart swells. I can't wait to see these things manifest in you as a young adult. You will make the world better, little lady. I know it.

And because later when you and Nathan won't stop bickering, I want you to know that in this season, you were the best of friends. You follow him everywhere, you love what he loves, he listens so patiently to you, and you admire him like no one else in your life. You two have a beautiful thing going on, and I adore it. (Speaking of lovedrunk Mommy.)

I want you to know how happy you make others. A friend recently told me when asked to think of the handful of people who seem the most happy, you came to mind first. You, Anneliese. You're only two (and a half!) but you are happy, and it's contagious, and as your mama who knows something about mental well-being (and not-so-well being), I know how valuable that is. Bringing out the happy in others, helping them see it and find it in themselves, is a gift. Please never underestimate it, and keep smiling. At your family. At your friends. At strangers. We all smile back. And thank you for that.

I want you to know that I love how you remind me to buckle up every time we get in the car. Your good eating. Your great sleeping. Your tenderness taking care of Hattie and Jingle and your dolls. The fact that some mornings you choose your outfit based on what I'm wearing. Our grocery shopping trips. Your narration of the already-obvious things you do: I runnin! I naked! I drawin! I poopin! I have on the jeans! I buildin legos! Your index finger curled over your nose when you suck your thumb. The way you call anything I'm drinking that you're not allowed to touch, mommy's juice. Your fondness for a new pair of sandals. Your tiny voice singing songs with me. The repeated night night love you night nights that come through your door after we put you in bed. The wake up me that comes again in the morning.

A choir friend said last summer that she believes there's always a special place between a mom and the child of a surprise pregnancy. That that child is God's child. Not that all moms and children don't have special bonds, and not that all children aren't God's children, but I think she might be right on some level. I love all of you differently, and am bonded to you each in your own ways. Nathan made me a mommy, and Charlotte is the baby I hoped for when I had context for such a hope. But you, my middle baby, the special way I love you is maybe because I wasn't expecting it. You continuously surprise me and upturn what I think my expectations are. You're so much better than I knew to dream for, baby girl.

I might not be able to explain to you exactly how this love feels, but I want you to know I feel it.

Night night love you night night. I love you so much, Anneliese.

Love,
Mommy

Charlotte: Starting Solids Right

Last week we started Charlotte on solid* food. It was as smooth as it could have been, far far smoother than with Nathan or Anneliese, so I have decided to gift the interwebz with my third-time (read: professional) mompinion on how to start solids the right way, in five simple steps.

Brace yourself, brilliance ahead.

First, wait until baby is eight months old. I cannot stress this enough. The baby food stage is a pain (we've been over this before, right?) and those first "fun" bites quickly descend into decidedly less adorable screamy lengthy messy meals. I thought maybe there was just a two-month learning curve for babies to learn to eat fast and eat neatly. Nope. We've skipped the messy curve altogether, it seems. Delay it as long as you can. (Plus you want to make her really want it. #momoftheyear)

Second, skip the fancy high chair. (Or even the non-fancy high chair.) Any good third baby will tell you that one  all-purpose pink foam seat for eating and bathing and beaching and relaxing is just fine.

Third, start with a food baby will like. Plenty of fruits and veggies are just as easily digestible (or easier!) than that dumb rice and oat cereal that tastes so gross. Why would you feed your baby something you wouldn't eat? (Also it will constipate them. True story.) Do you want baby to hate the idea of solids? Okay then. Charlotte had apples. Huge win. We'll do prunes, and carrots/squash/yellow veggies next, then green veggies, then fruits. Babies can eventually get their cereal (and they do need it, it will be one of their only/best sources of iron) mixed in with things that taste good. Babies will take to solids better if what you give them tastes good. It's really fancy science, I know, but try to stick with me here.

Fourth, everybody gets a turn! Even let big brother and big sister help feed bites. (Why do work they're thrilled to do? That's why you had the other two kids, right?) Plus it's precious.

Bonus points if you can convince all helpers (including but not pictured: Daddy) that opening your mouth as you hope for baby's to open is totally necessary.

Fifth, have enough people on hand to get lots of pictures. From lots of angles. Capture your happy food-eating big girl baby while trying not to cry about how fast she's growing up. *sobs*

This is my official super easy patented (okay not patented) method for starting solids in a way that laughs in the face of other messy tearful alternatives. You're welcome.

*for you non-parents, solid here means not milk. it doesn't actually mean solid.

Minivan Dad

If I'm a minivan mom, then guess who's a minivan dad.

Your daily Mark

I don't know, I think it's kinda hott.

Charlotte, by Nathan

Know what happens after a year and a half of letting your son play with his own "toy" camera and then learn to take pictures on your "real" (but mostly indestructible) one?

You finally find a good picture of his baby sister on the sd card.

Your daily Charlotte: three months ago

Nathan, for the win.

Nathan Dresses Up

Instead of offering my sister a sarcastic thank-you for allowing this monstrosity of a dress-up outfit to come into our house (wait...), I should just pose the question:

Which goes better with neon fringey pants and a sequined shrug?

... the boa?

... or the hat?

One doesn't want to over-accessorize, you know.

(We pretend that the dress-up bin is totally for Anneliese, but the reality is Nathan likes it just as much as she does his trains. Can you tell?)

Charlotte at Eight Months

There's this thing in the midwest or maybe everywhere called a Golden Birthday. Whenever you're turning the age of the date of your birthday. For instance, Mark's was when he turned 28 on November 28th. Ashley's when she turned 11 on December 11th.

Do other people know about this? It's completely new to me. Maybe because mine was when I turned ONE. Lame. (Solidarity *fistbump* Merritt?)

Anyway. This post is not about that.  It's about Charlotte and how she's EIGHT months old on April 8th and I am therefore declaring it her Golden Monthday (um, actually now that I write it, it might be a title in progress; I'll work on it) and I don't want anyone to tell me it's not a Thing because it. is. a. Thing.

On Charlotte's Golden Monthday* she is as beautiful as ever. She is imitating sounds well, she is deliberately picking things up (and putting them in her mouth), she is still sleeping great at night and loving the one nap I let her take during the day (see: what works best for mommy's schedule). She is now a whopping 29 inches (!) which is well over the 99th percentile, and she weighs right at 16 pounds which is about the 20th percentile (starting solid foods should fix that slowing weight gain). She is still very happy as long as she's getting attention, and increasingly fussy when she's not. Which, aren't we all?

Also, today as Charlotte officially hits her eight-month mark, it's Easter Sunday! Hey baby girl, did you know that Jesus the Christ was crucified and resurrected... for you?  That's right, sweet Squeaks. For you. It's about the best Golden Monthday* present you could ask for, am I right? (I am.)

Love you, sweet Charlotte. Happy eight months.

*still a title in progress, remember?

Pretty Much a White House Lawn Event

So, we went to this egg hunt with the well-kepts of Raleigh. It was hosted by my friend Kelly who is cool and fun and a beautiful singer, who has two children very close to Anneliese and Charlotte's ages, who I know and like from various mommying and choir things around church, and who would never host any eastery event that was much less than what you'd find on the white house lawn. She's extremely down-to-earth small-town southern on one hand, and on the other... yeah. Well-kept.

Anyway.

Kelly and her family are lovely people, and it was a great way to spend a fun afternoon with the kids. They played on the swingset, pulled each other in the wagon, hunted for eggs, and ate snacks.

I sat in a comfy adirondack chair and chatted.

Chancel Choir babies! (with Kelly and baby Eva)

And collected compliments about my new sandals.

And pretended to be better kept than I really am. (Real Housewife of Anderson Heights? Check.)

And we left with cute favors of graham crackers, chocolate bars, peeps, and a well-wish for s'more fun next year. Oh yes she did.

Let's call this one a well-kept win.

Bumgarner Beach Week 2012

We've just returned home from my family's annual spring break week, which has morphed over the years to my siblings and I laughing and drinking with high school and college friends, to laughing and drinking with our babies.

Yeah.

whoa! we have a lot of kids! when did that happen?

It's awesome in its own right.

making the beach a little more beautiful

It's hard to believe that last spring break, I left for the beach from our old house, with one daughter who couldn't even walk (she crawled across the beach all week like a sand crab) and one daughter who was still very much in utero.

Cut to me just one year later, watching Anneliese race around after Nathan, asking a million chatterbox questions, and listening to Charlotte yell about it all.

Charlotte's first time in the ocean. This pic about sums it up.

Oh and then to come home to a new house where we have apparently lived for said year. Already.

Um what.

Anyway. This year for the first time, we were in Holden Beach and we had a whole house. (Things that are necessary when you have scads of grownups and four babies.)

Don't you wish your grandpa was into babywearing too?

And we had a fabulously relaxing time.

big brother love

more big brother love

John and Mark fished a lot. Uncle John had a constant Nathan-shaped shadow, every day all day. Charlotte braved her first entry into the ocean, and loved it (HA HA NO). Liam showed up his cousin by tolerating it significantly moreso than she did. Nathan raced around with his dump truck and only had one traumatizing shower incident. Just kidding it was two. I read a lot, sat in the sun even more, and drank a rum and tea which, let me be clear, I do not recommend.  Ashley talked smack about her words with friends skillz and then we all beat her.

just a grandpa, on a beach, doing a yoga headstand. no big deal.

The kids went through easter baskets and the grownups took turns eating their candy.  Dad and Cathy rocked and cuddled and soothed babies pretty much constantly. Mark and I had a date at a place called the Seafood Barn (words that should never ever go together in a restaurant name), which was surprisingly tasty. John tried to fix Dad's broken computer with his inner geek smarts, and Mark tried to fix Ashley's swimsuit with a safety pin. I'll let  you guess whose husband did the bangup job with his task. And general merriment was had by all.

party of five

For more pics of this year's beach trip, click here for the photobucket album.