Nathan at Almost Nine

Nine years ago today, I woke up eager to read the new last final Harry Potter book, and eager to meet my unborn baby, but hopefully not at the same time. (Was secretly worried my  labor would interrupt my Series Ending Feelings before I could finish.) (It didn't.) (Was also not-so-secretly worried that I wouldn't even know I was in labor, doing that awkward 40-weeks mental dance of "pee or broken water?" because the end of pregnancy is so glamorous.)

I can't believe that was nine years ago.

It no longer feels like yesterday, exactly, but it also feels like... well, not like nine years. And if this is what nine years feels like, then I can't believe I only have nine left. He's halfway out of the house! Which is not a ridiculous mental milestone at all so bite your tongue.

Today* he's a full-on big kid, doing big kid things, like reading Harry Potter himself. (Yes! Novels! He reads them now!) (Sometimes!) (He still would choose a biography or fact book nineteen times out of twenty.)

*Well, today today he is not doing any big kid thing or reading any books, because he's battling down a barf bug as I type this. Having a big kid means that when they're sick, you sit ten feet away at the computer and listen to them dry heave while you write a blog post about them. It's both easier and harder than having a sick baby.

(Oh who am I kidding. It's totally easier.)

He's a good sick kid though. He's rull pukey in general when he's sick, so he's kind of a champ at it by now. If one of the kids has to be barfy, I'm glad it's him. Which is a weird thing to say about him at this milestone juncture, but it's organic to our day, so, there you go.

Besides A+ barfing, which I feel like I should stop talking about now, Nathan is doing really well these days. I was told that eight would be as good as five, and I think maybe it has been. Eight is much less moody than seven, and much more helpful, and much more worldly.

He needs me less than ever, but when he does need me, he needs me bigger. If that makes sense. When we do encounter rough patches, it's not about whining or potty training or grabbing anymore, it's about honesty and sneakiness and work ethic and bullies and the balance between fitting in and being doggedly confident in who you are. Raising tiny humans is no joke, and we are constantly flying by the seat of our pants, especially with Nathan, because the oldest kid is always throwing stuff at you you didn't even know you didn't know, didn't think of to think about. Parenting: not for the faint of heart.

He is still doing great in school, although he's right in that space where from a teacher's perspective he is fiiiiiiine and doing his work well enough, and not causing trouble, that he flies under the radar a bit when he's not doing his best, because it's still good enough. So we have had a lot of conversations about not half-assing his schoolwork, and not rushing to be done, and not practicing only the parts he already knows just because they're more fun to play, etc etc etc. How do you teach an eight-year-old the intrinsic value of hard work, especially in a reward-saturated world? That's not rhetorical, I'm really asking. TELL ME IF YOU KNOW PLEASE FOR REAL.

He has a handful of good kids at school that he buddies around with, and a handful that make me purse my lips, which I assume is about normal and will always be the case. He goes to a super diverse school, so he has friends from all continents and many religions, and is becoming a person who knows how and what to ask people about their heritage, his cultural curiosity unstifled by the fear of being offensive, because he is in relationship with all kinds of kids. I've admired him several times when, for instance, he sees the Asian man playing as a guest violinist from church, and he is happy and friendly to walk up to him and ask him about his instrument, or if his family is from Korea or another place in Asia - and what unfolds is a perfectly natural conversation that isn't about race but also doesn't shy away from it. He takes in stride that some of his Muslim friends pray several times a day during school, or that his Sikh Indian friend wears a turban. He just... casually knows a lot about a variety of things, as we all do about our friends, I suppose, but it's so cool that he lives it and is growing a kind and nuanced language for something we, as a culture, struggle to do, or at least to do well. The kids are all right, as they say. (They give me hope.)

 His favorite school work is science, for sure -- he is curious about the world and nature and animals and astronomy and matter, and loves being able to build some tool or model that will help him test an idea. He also does math extremely well; I kind of can't believe how quickly his little brain can grasp a new concept and be able to apply it. He still likes to read a lot, but mostly for fun; it's not something he seems to want to push himself on. He likes writing stories but prefers... reports. "This is an informational text about x," he tells us on the reg. (It's usually a historical ship, or an animal; yesterday, it was a commodities report about how some virus is affecting coffee beans and the world might be running out of coffee; this is information he thought I would like to know.)

He loves legos, if anything, even more than he has in the past. He is less and less married to the idea of keeping his creations together as they look on the box, and increasingly into making his own designs, or replicating designs he sees in the real world. His need to build things extends beyond legos and now includes a variety of trash, which he raids from the recycling bin, and I am constantly having to gently* urge him to remove the coke can boxes and coffee cans and Gatorade bottles from his room, where they are inevitably taped to each other and to rocks and strings and folded paper, because that's a dinosaur habitat/ ship yard/ new solar system/ airport/ lemur rescue center DUH MOM CAN'T YOU SEE I NEED THAT. (*What, I try.)

Nathan is so independent and helpful at home; he's definitely the chore workhorse of the three kids, and helps his sisters and both Mark and me, so much. He fixes his own breakfast and packs his own lunch (and often helps the girls with both those things) and fancies himself a budding master chef, so he loves to help with dinner too.

He loves his cello and his choir at church, and he loves running. The big kids do a track club every Friday morning before school, and he often gets a couple of miles in, which impresses me. He's also become quite a fast swimmer this summer, which blows my mind a little. Two years ago he couldn't swim at all, and now he's one of the fastest in the pack at his swim meets. He just looks like a swimmer in the water; it's the most athletic thing we have ever seen him do, and it's fun to see him grow in confidence with it.

He's still one of the smallest in his grade, less skin and bones now that he is getting stronger, but still just... short. We've been saying for over a year now that he's due a growth spurt at any moment, but it keeps not coming. So.... yeah? Any day now? I guess? Or maybe never.

He loves minecraft. He films himself talking to the camera for his "youtube channel, please subscribe!" (which is locked to everyone but him, but he can dream of his internet superstardom if he wants). He sends lovely heart-feelings texts and emails. He has a teenager voice he uses to talk on the phone. Has spent the year obsessed with Pokemon, so the current GO trend is blowing his mind and providing some good Daddy-kid bonding time to be out exploring. He plays fine alone but still clings to attention from Anneliese, which often wanes these days, because of Charlotte's equal demand and more interesting (to her) playtime ideas. He is bossy and firm and kind and generous. He remains sensitive, and is easily hurt and offended. He saves his silly side for people he really trusts. He is ever more self-assured, and no longer scared of real conversation with new people, even adults. He is polite and witty and full of fun! facts! and loves studying the giant world atlas that hangs over his bed.

He is a wonderful person, and now I need to go wipe his face with a washcloth and scratch his sicky back and offer him some ice chips. (He's patient zero. Pray for us.)

We love you, sweet Nathan. Happy due date, you excellent human, you.

Pool Party!

We had a sweet little pool party for Nathan on Sunday afternoon for his birthday. He had no specific theme requests this year, so the theme was, come over and swim at our house and have cake. EASY AND FUN.

I made favor bags with treats like candy and sunglasses and goggles and some mincraft toys and origami-type folding crafts. These bags were nothing fun or fancy like the lego or dinosaur or rainbow ones but I lined them up on the mantle like always, because THAT IS A THING I DO OKAY.

I got some color-your-own beach balls for the kids* to color as everyone was getting here. (*For me. Okay? Fine. I wanted to color a beach ball. The kids liked it too so hush.)

I ordered a variety of inflatable things to "decorate"(/play with) in the pool, including a bunch of adorable beach balls and a dolphin ring toss. And a cruise ship because obviously.

Charlotte hoarded them mostly to herself. (Which makes sense because in my Big Book of Facts About Boolers, on page 16 it says that boolers love balls. So.)

But the kids all played together in the pool for a while, I checked out the sexy lifeguard with a few up-downs, and all was well.

And then Nathan opened presents and we had an ice cream cake, which is what he requested, which I had never made before in my life, which I wasn't ready to outsource to baskin robbins, so we watched some videos and we tried it. (Post about that later.)  It came out great! 

(Yes, that is corn growing back there behind his head, by the pool deck. Also a post for later. To be filed under: OH MARKY.)

Speaking of Oh Marky, a day after the party there are still balloons stuck in our tree out front, and Mark keeps doing THIS to get them down, and we keep joking that this is the only use a southerner has for hockey sticks. It makes me laugh. 


(If you cant see the embedded video, click here to watch on YouTube.)

No, I don't know why we own a hockey stick in the first place. Someone asked me and... I honestly don't know. I have no good answer. I don't even have a bad answer. KEINE AHNUNG.

Favorites (Movie) Party, and a Sperm Whale Cake

So, here's a fun thing to blog about in an emotional roller coaster of week/weekend: we had a super sweet birthday party with Nathan yesterday! He had asked several months ago to do a movie party, which sounded easy and fun enough -- and got even better when Another Nathan said we could reserve his neighborhood's clubhouse movie theater for our own private show. Fun, right?! (Also free free free YES PLEASE.)

He went round and round and round about what kind of party he wanted, and even when I assured him he didn't need a theme or anything ( theme could just be "hey it's your birthday come watch a movie and have cake"), he still kept debating on what kiiiind of party it would be, and at some point he started referring to it as a Favorite Party, which would have all of his favorite things:

- legos

- sperm whales

- dinosaurs

- space

- friend cars

I mean, if that right there isn't a cohesive party theme, I don't know what is. Someone hire me to plan their event. It will totally make sense. Swearsies.

So we did it. We had a party with all of those things. Dinosaur balloons and napkins, and friend car plates, and a planets tablecloth (which I just now remembered I forgot to even use, ha whoops), and we watched the lego movie, and I made a sperm whale cake. The blasted sperm whale cake that he asked me for many weeks ago, and I had no idea where to start with, and eventually I landed on a really complicated solution:

Step 1- Make a cake.

Step 2- Put a sperm whale on top of the cake.

HI THERE AM GENIUS I CAN HAZ MOM TROPHY.

So actually it ended up being an adorable (very random, but adorable) party. He had a few friends from church, one from school, and even one he met last week at Montreat, who told Nathan he thought he lived in Durham, and since Nathan thought he lived in Raleigh, it worked out for them to go to each other's parties (zomg adorbz). They all ate pizza and had popcorn from the theater's popcorn stand/kettle/thing, and played with glow sticks, and watched the movie, and then opened presents and ate cake. 

favor bags with Nathan's "favorites" --
pack of legos, toy whale, dino eraser, Cars candy, in a space bag

the sperm whale cake --
which I'm sure is how I will remember this birthday

After the party, the birthday boy spent the afternoon swimming in the backyard with Uncle Nick and Aunt Barbara, and then we had a family dinner at his restaurant of choice -- McDonald's. He also opened a stack of fun presents from us and from grandparents, the most notable of which seems to be this GINORMOUS sperm whale, which is just what every kid needs for bedtime snuggling?

(He adores it, obviously.) (Yes, that is a squid for it to hunt. Or, if you're Anneliese, a friend to help it find rainbows. So.)

May all birthdays be so random yet so successful. Cheers to SEVEN!

More Montreat

So, Montreat. It was once again a spirit-fueling week volunteering at youth conference and hanging out with dear friends and baby Nathan (and no one tell me he is almost seven because no, he's a baby). It's kind of amazing how far from real life it feels up there (and, on the flip side, how obtrusive real life feels when it comes crashing back in).

This year was so much the same as last year and also so much was different. The youth in my small group this year were so easy, so chatty, so smart -- they connected way faster than I thought they would, to me and to each other, and leading through those sessions made the week fly by. The conference leadership was different, of course, which made keynote talks and worship and music all take a new feel, which was fine -- even better in some cases, and some felt lacking, all of it completely normal as the experience of one year morphs into the next.

I roomed with my awesome friend Liz from last year, and little Nathan stayed in an adjoining room with Another Nathan, and our little family suite (with another friend Nick, right next door) ended up being really fun and sweet. It took a few nights for the Nathans to adjust to sharing a room, but it ended up just fine, aside from a few spells of kicking and a few spells of sleep-moaning.

We kept a cooler full of snacks and drinks in our rooms, and we spent our nights, once everything had died down for the day, laughing and crying and feeling our feelings all together. Dorm life at its best! It was lovely to have a handful of people I love so much all in such close proximity for a few days. Especially knowing that Another Nathan is moving in just over a week, we were glad to all hold each other close for a bit, in a faithy place, a beautiful place.

It could have been a really sad and emotional week, and it totally wasn't. I mean, well, yes, emotional -- the good-bye tears stay really close these days. But being in the busy and the joy of a huge conference was distracting and friendship-affirming at the same time.

Nick (who was formerly an intern at our church and now lives a few hours away) was hired leadership for the conference, like Another Nathan last year, and seeing him up there leading energizers and being a warm face and smile to a thousand youth every morning was a super way to start our days. Hanging out with him all week was a really fun reunion.

Also, can I just say, sometimes things/people in life are not as awesome as nostalgia wants to convince you they are, but after a week of fast friendship last summer, and a year of emails/texting/calling, I have to say for the record: LIZ IS. She is as awesome and kind and funny and sassy as I remembered, and maybe gets me even more now than a year ago, and being friends with her is just... really good. Really really good. Great actually.

How does Montreat make her hair so very good, and mine so very very bad?

And sweet little Nathan loved Montreat this year as much as last. He insists that his favorite place there is the dining room (um, wuuut?) but actually didn't eat much this week -- all while being insistent that we eat every meal there, and crabby at the times we went into town for real food. (I don't even know.) But he loved the big auditorium, he loved getting ice cream at the Huck, and he loved creek hopping again (with Mark! who came to visit for an afternoon! after him traveling last week, and not crossing his path on our own way out of town, we missed him terribly).

Nathan loved his club/camp (he was a Peanut Butter this year! super cute), which met in the infamous Montreat barn. And he made new friends -- one of whom invited him to dinner during the week at his grandparents' Montreat house, one of whom will be coming to his birthday party here in Raleigh next weekend, and one of whom is the son of one of my childhood church friends, because sometimes this presby world is small and awesome.

He picked out a new Montreat hoodie at the gift shop that I could hardly keep him out of all week. He had fun playing with my mom (who came to visit one morning, and see how Montreat has changed since her own childhood). And he proclaimed the view of the inn (from the paddle-boats on the lake) to be "the most beautiful building in the whole world." So, yeah.

(Side note: because Nathan's feet didn't reach the paddles, and because Nick didn't want to steal little Nathan's front-seat ride, Another Nathan basically paddled all three of them around the lake for the better part of an hour. He was hot and tired from a workout when they came back to shore, while Nick and Nathan were all smiles and relaxation, and yeah -- I was amused.)

More pics:

Marky! At Montreat with us!

A thousand people playing with beach balls, nbd.

Someone leaves their phone on a pew, you steal it and take selfies. It's the law.
(That's Ann back there behind Nick. She is also delightful.)

This pic was really awkward like they were shaking hands with a giant check.
So I cropped it. But apparently am describing the pre-crop anyway?

My *awesome* small group #51!

Oh yes I did buy a Montreat TERVIS. I am not sorry.

Another Nathan was on the conference planning team and wore this
headset to call production on the keynote talk each morning.He wore it well, but there was much hair-messing angst.

My sweet boy before worship one night.

My most bestest friend, who makes Montreat even better.

So yeah, it was a week of reconnecting with old friends, making new ones, thinking and praying well, singing loudly, and hiding from the emotional weeks of real life that are now staring us down. And it was wonderful.

Dinosaur Pool Party

Nathan and I are headed to Montreat for a week for a youth conference, and Montreat (from what I can tell after two short afternoon visits last summer and last week) is where the internet goes to die. So who knows when this will be actually posted complete with pictures.

But. Nonetheless. We had a dinosaur pool party!

Yep, that is what Nathan asked for. Mark and I didn't know what it meant either. But it turned out very okay!

Inflatable dinosaurs! In a pool! What is a dinosaur pool party if not EXACTLY THIS?!

We cut slices of pizza into dino shapes with cookie cutters. Note: this is not for the faint of heart. Pizza-cookie-cutting is approximately one million times trickier than you are picturing it in your mind. I know, because I pictured it that way too. Um, nope.

I made adorable (if I can say so) (yep, I can) favor bags from foam masks. I loved them. They were maybe my favorite thing all day. Besides Nathan. Of course. My sweet big boy six-year-old. Okay whatever LOOK AT MY DINO BAGS THEY ARE SUPER.

Charlotte adopted and rode a new pet. You know, like you do.

We set up the table outside with paper and dino stencils and things to color.

We made a dinosaur cake complete with rocks and dirt, obtained in the form of toppings from a pay-by-the-ounce frozen yogurt place where Mark went and bought... just toppings. Parenting makes you do weird things, yo.

This is a portrait I like to call "Birthday Happy Frantic with Daddy and Paralophosaurus" (heck yes I know dinosaur names) (no I just flat-out lied, I had to ask Nathan before typing that) (and then google for spelling) (I am a sham of a dino-lover mother, is what I'm saying).

And then we opened presents and played. Oh and yes those are indeed dinosaur bones in that bowl. Thank goodness for Pinterest or I would have just thought they were yogurt pretzels. NOPE! Dinosaur bones.

Happy dino pool birthday, dear Nathansaurus.

VCS: Kindergarten Zebras

Hey while I am catching up on blogging I should totally tell about our VCS week even though it was almost a month ago. (Our church calls it VCS instead of VBS because we can't just... name things like everyone else. I'd give you ten more examples but I'm already bored of talking about it so just take my word for it.)

So, VCS. The popular thing (at least among my own lovely circle of internet friends) seems to be using vbs weeks for a break in the summer where the kids are covered and at-home parents get to relax at home in the sweet sweet air conditioning. And I will do that! I have big plans for that! When they are all old enough to go. But for now, the girls aren't (yes, even Anneliese, who is just a few months shy of four but is still "a two" as far as the school year is concerned) so I figure these are good years to throw myself into the volunteering effort since there are nurseries for the littlest ones whose parents are there helping. 

I have done a variety of helps over the past few years (food, nurseries, music, etc) but this year I wanted to teach (for some reason?) (oh right because I love five-year-olds #fiveforever) so I took on a class of kindergartners (including Nathan! they gave us the option to teach our own kids or not, and I thought with him it'd be fine, and it was) with my sweet friend Jeanine -- who besides being really good at karaoke, which is a skill only sometimes useful at vcs, is a preschool teacher by trade. Because I am no dummy when it comes to picking people to work with. She is smart. And fun. And can whip out an art project or game faster than I can stand there slack-jawed and try to fumble for the camera to capture her craft time wizardry.

I digress.

So, teaching. It was lovely. The curriculum (about a world's fair, teaching a "neighborly" trait every day with a scripture story to go with it, and a neighbor country to learn about alongside) seemed random to me at first but then came together beautifully.

And our class was crazydorable:

We had a great youth helper too!

 

neighborly kids -- washing each other's feet and role-playing the good Samaritan

a craft of Japanese cherry blossoms, and making ourselves
into zebras from Zimbabwe -- there were lots of kindergartners,
but our class was the only class of zebras!

special snack on the last day

I am told frequently (like, whenever I go out in public with all three of my kids) how alike they look. I guess when they're wearing the same clothes, I can kind of see it?

Anyway yeah VCS. That was fun.

Things that are New

Somehow I got very behind and it seems the easiest way to catch up is just to say hey! here are some things that are new!

--- First and most importantly, I have a new computer! Well, a new computer-ish thing. It is a Chromebook and apparently they have existed for some time and I have even seen their commercials but somehow without noticing them or without noticing that it could be something for me. But it is! It's basically a computer that is mostly for internetting. (Um, hello. Me!) Think of it as a cheaper-than-a-tablet, with a real keyboard and usb ports to plug in various accoutrements.

I could sing its praises all the livelong day but I will use it for another month before I give any Official Opinions. In the meantime, just know I am thrilled to have a second computer. (Mark and I were the only people in America still sharing a computer at home. I am sure of it.) And now that Nathan is learning to email, the demand on computer sharing around here is just too high.

Also it has a lowercase keyboard, which is a really small thing that makes me really happy for some reason. Pretty!

--- Nathan lost his glasses for close to three weeks and then Anneliese found them in the back of the van where I had looked a hundred times, because that's how our life is?

--- Mark has a broke ass shoulder. This is kind of old news but I haven't gotten all bloggity about it because we didn't know what was happening and, you know, medical stuff. Not always for sharing. The short version is he threw a softball too hard (yes, another church softball injury) and landed in the ER and then after x-rays and MRI's and seeing an orthopedic shoulder specialist several times, he either has an avulsion fracture (where a piece of the bone is completely chipped off) (sounds bad, but apparently less painful and problematic than other kinds of breaks) or a chunk of calcium buildup has chipped off, and if it's the latter, then what the eff did he do to his shoulder to build up that much calcium, etc etc etc. (I don't understand it all. If you couldn't guess.)  So he has physical therapy twice a week for the next six weeks, to attempt to strengthen surrounding muscles to pull the bad joint back into place and avoid surgery (or something). Fingers crossed. Oh! And his knees have been messed up for years too, so since we're already at our deductible they're working on how to slide his kneecaps back into place better as well. Yay! (?)

--- I took Nathan and three of his friends (triplets!) to Monkey Joe's. Besides one smashed face and a bloody tooth that I prayed was that loose before our outing, it was a lovely easy afternoon with his sweet friends. (Not as violent as it sounds.)

--- My mom came to visit and took Nathan to a special exhibit at our science museum (his beloved "Dinosaur Museum") and somehow they came home with not only a stuffed dinosaur that roars but a bumper sticker! Which Nathan is hell-bent on using as a bumper sticker! On the van! I dreaded the day they would start begging to sticker up our cars but I never dreamed it would involve an acrocanthosaurus.

(Good news Marmie, your new acro bumper sticker is in the mail! Nathan is very excited to see it ON YOUR CAR next month! You're welcome!)

--- People have been knocking on my door too much recently. Yes, this is worth mentioning because I soooooo haaaaaaaate it. HATE IT. Someone knocked before 8am last week. I ignored it and they came back half an hour later. I ignored it again and then when I tried to leave home an hour after that, there was a backhoe in my driveway.

Oh and three men standing in a giant hole in my front yard. Mark and I knew nothing of any of this ahead of time. (Something to do with the house demolition across the street? Gas line work? WHO KNOWS.)  Anyway I guess the knocking guy at least had a reason that affected me. (They moved the backhoe. It was no problem really. I hated the knocking more than the construction.)

But later that day, a lady from the ACLU knocked and asked me to sign some petitions for her. (I only answered because ignoring door knocks earlier had bitten me in the ass with a backhoe.) I almost couldn't form words. Whatever you're for, lady, I'm now against, because you came to my house uninvited to get it. At night. And the dog barked and woke two sleeping children. Seriously does this kind of solicitation work on anyone???

Don't come to my house uninvited and ASK ME FOR SOMETHING. How is this still not only legal but acceptable in our society? I have vented about this before, yes? It is so rude I can't even fathom how normal people seem to find it. If you come over, it should only be because 1- you're delivering something, 2- you're invited, 3- you're a neighbor with a normal neighborly question or neighborly thing that neighbors do, or 4- you're close enough to our family to come in without invitation, which means you just let yourself in, no knocking required. Pro tip: if you see someone cut the wires to their doorbell, it probably doesn't mean they want you to KNOCK INSTEAD, take the hint.

Okay I will go retreat to my new life as a hermit in the woods now.

And not even mention the girl who came by three times within an hour last week (during a blackout!) even when she saw us and heard us inside and knew we were home but not answering, and then when I finally opened the door only to ask her (super nicely, I really was, I promise) to take us off her list since we weren't interested, she launched into her spiel anyway and I could have yanked her backpack off through her nostrils OH LOOK AT THAT I MENTIONED IT.

(Yes, I recognize this might be more my issue than society's. I still hate it.) (Now, deep breaths and moving on.)

--- We took Anneliese to the dentist for her first real cleaning (she has had a million checkups and x-rays for her janky tooth, which is coming back down just fine btw) and she was nervous but did great and it was such a non-ordeal that I had to remind myself for all the times she tries my patience and tests the limits, in some ways my brave little middlest extrovert is the easiest kid of all.

Although I make no explanation for what she or Hattie are wearing. (Fancy dress, rain boots, PJs? Okay.)

And now you're caught up on the new things.