And Then I Found Five Dollars***

So.  Another Nathan and I went on a road trip to DC last weekend.  It was... something. 

It started with me forgetting the baby and having to go back to get her, and it ended with one of us (I'll never tell who) getting a speeding ticket. And in the middle:

- A Starbucks pit stop started great, then turned into a dead car battery.  A nice man named Brian who worked at a nearby Harley dealership gave me a ride in his red pickup truck. (Sketchy?) And a nice lady mechanic named Carla installed a new battery.  Lesson learned: everyone in Roanoke Rapids, NC is ridiculously nice.

- I might or might not have had to climb into the back of the van during an interstate traffic jam, to deal with a car seat poop explosion (oh yes) and nurse* the baby.

- Nathan** accidentally sent a hilariously inappropriate text message to Mark.  I laughed about it for three hours.  And by three hours I mean three days.  And by three days I mean I'm still laughing about it.

- We somehow used all of the six cupholders in the center console, at the same time. I hereby retract any previous statements about how there are definitely too many cupholders in the minivan.

- We sat in an incredibly frustrating amount of traffic in and around various DC suburbs.  Good lord the traffic. But a friend said that me cruising around there in my minivan pretty much made me Michelle Obama. So it was maybe worth it?

We feel the exact same way about DC traffic

- I had a phone conversation with a businessman named Curtis, which apparently left him convinced Nathan and I were both sketchy confused weirdos. Me!  I'm articulate! And not sketchy! What was his problem?! 

- We saw Merritt! And had dinner with her and spent the night with her in her new house. And didn't take any pictures.  So enjoy this cell phone pic of the two of us in my old house instead.

- Oh and we totally took the baby to a bar.

- I co-slept with Charlotte on an air mattress (this, despite the two empty cribs in Merritt's house).  But it was way awesomer than it sounds.  No tears! All night!

- I learned that Another Nathan, rule-follower though he may be, cannot follow GPS directions.  Not even a little. I had to hold the phone and read it and personally tell him where to go in order to have any chance at all of making the correct turns.

road trips give me good hair

- I fell (fell!) into the bottom floor of a row house building.  I have graceful entrances down to an art form.

- I had an emotional breakdown directly in front of the White House.  Know what happens when you're driving a minivan in a traffic jam and there's a baby crying and you're hungry, and you get totally overwhelmed with life and then you start crying too?  Your best friend force-feeds you crackers.  True story.

- I drove on the wrong side of the road in downtown DC.  I ran a red light in downtown DC.  Please no one let me drive in urban areas anymore, mmkay?  I'm not good at it. (And I'm still never telling which one of us got that ticket on the way home.)

- I made Nathan wear Charlotte in an infant carrier. He looks very sweet, no?

- Nathan called me a Boss Hog.  Oh yes he did. (He wasn't calling me bossy or fat though, why would you even assume that?? Bad blog reader!)  And then we ate in a restaurant of the same name. Somehow we went into the service entrance.  No one batted an eye.

- Oh and did I mention that because the van is still relatively new, we didn't know the code to restart the radio after the battery died?  So aside from Nathan singing pop songs to me (not that that wasn't awesome in its own way), our whole adventure was sans music. Seriously.

code error 5: not our favorite radio station

But you know what?  In the midst of all the sweat and tears (and I mean both of those quite literally), dang did we laugh a lot.  And I think we might be better friends than we were before we went.  So... road trip win.  For sure.

* Just kidding Marky, I probably didn't do that.

** Let the record show, that is exactly how it happened.  No matter who tells you otherwise.

*** No, seriously. I found five bucks on the ground during the dead battery fiasco.

This is Our Life, On Colic

I was sorting and organizing pictures the other day when I noticed a real dearth of pictures of Charlotte.  Almost all that we have of her, with only a handful of exceptions, were taken in the first two weeks after she was born.  Those lovely sleepy sweet two weeks before the poop hit the fan. 

And by poop I mean crying.  And by fan I mean every corner of my existence.

Some people will blame the lack of pictures on the fact that she's a third child.  (It's not that, I promise, and I have double the pictures of Anneliese over Nathan in their first years to prove it.) Really, it's the crying.  It's totally the crying. 

Most of the photo ops we have would look something like this:

And frankly by the time she's quiet or asleep, we're so exhausted and frazzled that taking pictures isn't a top priority.  Terrible?  Maybe.  But that's where we are.

I'd like to tell you we're turning a corner.  That she's gone to bed by 8 or 9 the last week or so, meaning the evening crying is limited to about two hours instead of four (or five or six).  That she's only gotten up once or twice through the night those nights, and once slept all the way through til almost 5. 

And all of that is true.

BUT. 

One step forward, two steps back.

Last night was hard. Today was awful. 

Right when Charlotte got my hopes up that maybe this colic stuff really does end by six or eight weeks, suddenly I'm back into a pattern of constant (wholly unproductive) soothing attempts.  Of constant noise in my ears.  Of constantly putting big brother and big sister on a back burner because whatever they need doesn't seem quite as desperate as the shrieks of a miserable infant.  Of constantly second-guessing myself about why I can't make this little girl, my tiny precious daughter who I love so much, feel better.  I'm her mommy.  My only job is to make it better, and I don't know how.

This used to feel like unrequited love.  Now it feels like fury.  Her crying is angrier by the hour.

So now I am sitting at the desk, leaned far back in an office chair, so that I can type this without waking Charlotte who is finally zonked out on my chest.  You know what's more heartbreaking than a baby who had to cry herself to sleep, even if it was in Mommy's arms, who even in a moment of sleepy peace still has tears on her cheeks?

Not much.

And that's why we don't have many pictures.

Awkward Sibling Pic, v2.0

Because I had a whirlwind weekend and am too thoroughly exhausted for a real blog post, and because the last nightmare picture of my three adorable beasts was such a hit...

You're welcome.

Wide-Eyed Wonder

Every so often, Charlotte will find that happy place between sleeping and screaming, where she's awake yet calm.  Even without nursing.  Yep, crazy but true -- it really does happen a couple of times a day. 

Your daily Charlotte: our wide-eyed girl

I'm excited for more moments like this, where she stops being so furious with the world and starts looking at it with curiosity instead.  It's a cool place, Charlotte.  I promise. 

Less crying, more wonder.  Please, sweetie?

Anneliese the Destroyer

Over the past few months, Anneliese has taken a turn towards the destructive.  Besides the predictable stuff, like making a huge toilet paper mess in the hallway, or smearing spaghetti sauce all over the kitchen cabinets, she's also into some extra-special bits of chaos.

Like flushing legos down the toilet.

And dumping applesauce on her head.

And pulling Nathan's hair when she originally asks for a hug.

And pouring milk into the bin of dry dog food.

And throwing blocks.

And ripping pages out of library books.

And coloring Nathan's carpet with sidewalk chalk.

And breaking three pairs of glasses in the span of under a month. 

(The most recent being the glasses I wear every day.  Ugggggh.  Honestly we've decided that Anneleise's grubby paws are where glasses go to die.)

So basically all of these things could be prevented if I was just watching her more closely.  And I know that.  But clearly I'm notsomuch on top of things these days.  And also, hello, three kids.  And also, her smile and sweet personality make me forget about the chaos and that makes it hard to prevent the next time.  And also, no-mess Nathan didn't prepare us very well.  He was not like this! 

I guess what Anneliese is lacking in finicky-ness, she makes up for in... spirit?  Yes, let's call it that.  Spirited.

A Week

It's funny how if I don't write blog posts, I don't really know what the date is. (This is what happens when you don't have a job.) It's the 20th, right? Tuesday? Which means I haven't written a blog post in a week? 

Um, I'm not sure what to say about that.  Certainly not the whole ugly truth, which is a blog post for another day (or never).  So... how about... here's what I've been doing instead?  Yes, let's just jump straight to that.

-- I ordered some birth announcements. And mailed some too.  With thank-you notes, even.

-- I cooked two meals.  The first two meals I've cooked in about a month and a half.  (People have been keeping us well-fed these days.) (And by people I mean not only church friends but also Qdoba and Buffalo Brothers.)

-- I survived my first road trip with all three kids, alone. Thank you, dvd player in the minivan.

-- I met my nephew Liam!!  I took five pictures while I was there.  Four were of Charlotte, and one was of Ashley's boobs. New aunt fail. (Someone email me pics from this weekend please!)

-- I decided to omit the words crazy and should from my vocabulary.

-- I drank four decaf iced mochas from Starbucks.  (Not living near a drive-thru Starbucks has really forced me to cut back on my Starbucks habit.) (Did I say Starbucks enough in the last two sentences?)

-- I put away the pack&play in our room and explained to the baby that she needs to sleep upstairs in her own crib now.  She had lots of questions about how it's going to work, exactly, but she's (slowly) coming around to the idea.

-- I took a backyard swim with Mark and the kids.  Probably the last swim of the season.

-- I spent a lot of time trying to soothe Charlotte. 

-- I also spent a lot of time watching other people successfully soothe Charlotte.

-- I said approximately three zertrillion prayers for patience.

-- I found the baby on the washing machine at Ashley's house at one point.  Apparently this is Uncle John's method of soothing.  It's a sitcom cliche come to life, and it totally worked.

-- I also watched him carry a sleeping unbuckled Charlotte up a whole flight of stairs in a baby swing.  While it was swinging.  She did not fall out.  She did not wake up.  It was extremely impressive. Uncle John ftw!

-- I got all three kids out the door in time for the 8:15am church service, to hear our new pastor's first sermon before I left town.  I forgot diaper/nursery bags for the girls, but I was there and on time.

-- I took the big kids and Another Nathan for a pizza lunchdate at Costco. Yes, people do that.

-- I went to a baby shower for my pseudo-siblings Michael and Jessi.  I made Michael change his first diaper in front of the whole crowd there. Charlotte was an excellent poopy guinea pig.  Michael was a good sport.

-- I drank some red wine.  Only once while nursing the baby (this week).

-- I remembered to take pictures of Charlotte almost every day. Once or twice it happened when she wasn't crying. One of those times it was even in my arms. Who is this child????

-- I cried no less than two (but no more than ten) (I think) times per day.

-- I watched many hours of reality tv (don't judge) while breastfeeding. I hope I don't remember Charlotte's infancy as a blur of 4am viewings of Project Runway and Bachelor Pad (I said don't judge) and House Hunters International.  But I fear I will.

-- I spent one sweet and easy night co-sleeping with Charlotte (at my sister's house).  Say what you want about co-sleeping (normally we don't do it either), but I woke up feeling bonded and connected to her in a way that's been sorely lacking recently.

-- I had a text-celebration for my friend emu whose second daughter, Sally, was born on Saturday night. :)

-- I thought about giving Charlotte her first bath, but didn't actually do it.  This week, for sure. (Once Mark sees I admitted to the internet we haven't done it yet, it'll now be tonight.)

-- I had a few coffee and lunch dates with friends. And no kids.

-- I consumed many smartphone and touchpad internet hours.  I am apparently now more of an internet consumer than contributor.  That'll change.  Soon, I hope.

Big Brother Update

It's hard for me to remember Nathan as an only child sometimes.  The more comfortable he gets having two little sisters around, the more I realize how much he really was meant to be a big brother. He doesn't have a leader personality, exactly.  But he is a protector and a caretaker and it's clear he adores both of them and really thrives in that role.

Now that he's in school four mornings a week, he runs for Anneliese as soon as we pick him up.  She is the one he misses and most wants to see when he's back.  And he has lots of questions about what she's been up to while he's gone: What did she play with? Her shape box? Did she do the shapes right? What did she eat for snack?  Did she use her words? Did she do good listening?  Was she a good example? Did she poop in the potty? 

It's cute, but yeah okay sweetie I'm pretty sure we can parent her without you, like... checking up on us.
(Except for that potty thing.  We totally fail on that when he's not around.)

He's also being so so sweet with Charlotte. 

He's proud to show her off when we drop him at school or pick him up.  That's my sister Charlotte.  I have two babies. A baby and a big girl.  Do *you* have two babies? He sings songs to her (her favorite is the ABC song, did you know?) and he talks to her like she understands.  Like she matters.  I love him for that.

He's as picky about her wardrobe as his own, choosing a onesie for her every morning and telling me which diaper color she wants to wear at each change. 

He's got a suggestion or solution for every one of her cries, whether it's that she's thirsty... or needs a diaper... or wants to be held... or doesn't want to take a nap... (must be nice to have all the answers huh).  And he's absolutely convinced he's the one who taught her to smile.  (He isn't.)

He's gotten very confident at feeding her bottles:

And he's taught her how to be an excellent railroad track for his trains:

Hey, that's what big brothers are made of, right?

Awkward Sibling Pic

This awkward family moment brought to you by Daddy:

Charlotte, sweetie... you've never looked better.

I dare you to look again and not laugh.

Liam

Look!  It's Liam!  He's here!  I have a nephew!!!!  And he has just about the coolest birthday I can imagine!  (And that's a lot of exclamation points!)

John William Grice IV, born 9-10-11

My beautiful wonderful awesome sister is a mommy!

(I might be just the tiniest bit excited.) 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Budding Lactivists?

It's funny how quickly boobs have once again become a normal part of our family's life.  I'm one of those anytime, anywhere nursing moms (considering the frequency with which newborns eat, and that I'm also chasing around after two other kids, I wouldn't know how not to be), and it's clear both Nathan and Anneliese have picked up on it.

When I stopped to feed Charlotte the other day at Target, and a shopper asked me if I "needed to do that* right here," Nathan's silly and chatty mood prompted him to answer right away: Yes because Charlotte likes milk from mommy.  Made me smile to see him just take her question at face value.  Well-handled, sweetie.  Even though you are clueless of what she was really asking.

And Anneliese has spent the last week or so wandering around the house with her shirt yanked up so she can breastfeed her new favorite doll. 

PS I totally did this as a child too. (Picture here). 

Even Nathan has taken a few turns at nursing.  And most recently, Anneliese has had Hattie doing it.  Yes, Hattie the stuffed frog.  Breastfeeding a baby doll.  It's as hilarious as it sounds.

They aren't really young breastfeeding advocates, of course.  They're just innocently reacting to an everyday situation, without knowledge of any agenda. That's a good thing, I think.

I love that for my kids, this is just... normal.

*Don't worry, a store employee was nearby and right away told her it was no big deal and pretty much to bug off.  I might get asked about nursing in public more often than other people, but I think I'm also less likely to hesitate to do it than some other moms (I'm out and about a lot, and I remain firmly in the camp of hunger screams being more offensive than nursing babies), so that's probably why.  And except for a handful of times, people who do comment are really positive. So don't get worked up, real lactivists.  It's fine.

Charlotte at One Month

Charlotte is a month old already!  I don't know quite how that happened.  With both Nathan and Anneliese, the first few weeks seemed slow and foggy (although in hindsight, still really fast), but with Charlotte it has been a whirlwind.

She's already outgrown all her newborn clothes and is comfortably wearing the three-month stuff.  She's on the top rise setting of her newborn diapers.  She feels heavier and looks longer and seems to be growing well.

She has lost the wrinkly dewey newborn freshness, which is sort of sad, but the good news about it is, she's turning into a beautiful baby girl with huge wide eyes and sweet soft skin.  She has recently learned to smile and it's about the cutest thing ever, but she doesn't do it often enough or predictably enough that we've been able to get it on camera.  Soon.  I hope.

Hmm, let's see, what else is new with Charlotte these days?  Well she's learning to hold her head and neck better, she does great on car rides, and she's a heavy sleeper... once we can finally get her asleep.  At night she usually gives us at least one stretch of 5-6 hours (and once or twice, even more) and also takes several 2- or 3-hour naps during the day.  When she's awake, she nurses about every hour, and after long sleeping spells she'll ravenously cluster-feed for a few hours after she wakes up.

She loves being held by Daddy and he remains the person with the best ability to soothe her, but also seeing or hearing Nathan and Anneliese goes a long way towards soothing the fussies these days.  She's increasingly curious about them, trying to turn her head and watch them when we're all in the same room together. 

She's been sleeping in the pack & play in our room, and she doesn't know it yet but she's about to get the boot and be sent upstairs to sleep in her crib.  It's a little sad for me to see her graduate to her own room (even as I recognize how necessary and important it is), because it's tangible proof that my days mommying a newborn are truly numbered. 

I'm both anxious for this newborn phase to pass (did I mention she's fussy? colic is exhausting) but also trying not to wish it away.  I want to get into a normal enough routine that I can settle down and enjoy her infancy, but I don't want to crave the routine so much that I miss the reality of now.  Even when it's hard, she's wonderful and adorable and worth it.  We already love her so much.

Back to School

It's the most wonderful time of the year... back to school.

Ok that's not true.  It's a good time of year, but now that Nathan is in preschool four mornings a week, it feels a little empty and quiet around here without him.  Anneliese really misses him when he's not here.  (Nothing like a teary little girl standing in front of a rainy window asking for her brother to paint a picture that's equal parts sweet and sad.) 

But fortunately Nathan's become quite talkative about what's going on at preschool, so we know a lot about what's going on there and how he feels about it.  He's been cracking us up with his stories and observations when we pick him up.

Gems like:

-- I didn't need to wear that costume, I look handsome already in this shirt. After apparently abstaining from dress-up with his classmates.

-- Why do the other kids not have orange shoelaces? After apparently noticing and memorizing what everyone else was wearing. *of course*

-- It's because she misses me a lot; I'm her big brother. To his teacher, when he and Anneliese caused a mild traffic jam in the hallway with their happy-to-see-you-again hug after the first day. (Yes, my heart melted.  Every labor contraction with both of them was suddenly worth it.  Probably.)

-- I sang today mommy! Because Another Nathan said to sing. Is it good to sing? After two years of us trying to convince him that singing in public is okay.  Well done, Another Nathan.

-- She colored on my arm. Is that naughty? She's a naughty girl. Repeated *ad nauseum* after a classmate got marker-happy on Nathan and then apparently turned on her own face as well.

And Anneliese started back to mother's morning out this week too. So she does have that one morning where she's distracted by church herself, instead of missing Nathan.  And according to the teachers in her room, she's sweet and smiley and quite laid-back for them. 

(Um, sweet and smiley, yes obviously.  But laid-back?  Whaaa?  I like how my two oldest children both have alternate personalities in other people's care.  Nice.)

So even though it's still a little weird without Nathan here most mornings, the girls and I will adjust and find our new normal.

Happy back-to-school!

Charlotte's Tummy Time

Charlotte is doing great these days.

Well, that's only mostly true.  The real truth is that she's apparently colicky.  We've never been through this (so much for the assumption that third babies are easier, since the parents are theoretically smarter) so we're in new territory and we're kind of exhausted. 

I'll restate: other than the evenings of impossible-to-soothe fussing, Charlotte is doing great.

She spends several spells a day on the floor of the bonus room, practicing tummy time.  Her head and neck are so much stronger already! 

These days, we're doing it mostly on the boppy, so she can have her head up high enough to look around her.  Stretches the time before the inevitable tummy-time freakout by at least double.

And she frequently has Nathan or Anneliese or both crowding around her, making silly faces and noises, which keeps her distracted from the fact that, like all babies, she actually hates tummy time. 

But who wouldn't tolerate a few minutes on the floor, when you have this kind of fun happening around you?  I mean really.

Ok after posting these pictures of all my children sprawled out on the floor, I realize I should be pretending to the internet that I vacuum more than I actually do.  So, here goes: Hi y'all.  I vacuum.  All the time.  So often that I definitely never forget where we keep the vacuum cleaner.

Ahem.

Anyway.  Tummy time.  Siblings.  Sweet fun win.

Big Girl Anneliese

In the past week or so, I've been increasingly freaked out at how Anneliese suddenly seems so... big. When did that happen?  Does becoming a big sister make you suddenly a big girl?  A kid instead of a baby?

Praise the Lord for those sweet baby curls because they're the last vestige of toddlerhood she's clinging to.  (Looks-wise, I mean. Personality-wise she's still a full-on toddler.)

It's also constantly catching me off guard how much she reminds me of my sister.  Maybe it's because my earliest real memories of Ashley are from about this age?  Maybe it's because she does legitimately look like her? 

Or maybe it's just because I'm happy to have my very own startlingly loud left-handed middle child with a melt-your-heart smile.
Yup.  I think that's it.

Sarah and Dr. Eric

One of my favorite Furman friends, Sarah, came to visit me this weekend. It's not the first time she's come around on Labor Day weekend. It's apparently turning into a thing. And as always, we were very happy to see her!

She did lots of baby soothing.

She gladly shared her husband Dr. Eric with my adoring child who quickly found his newest getting-dressed inspiration.

She patiently read bedtime stories. (I had to hold her off from doing a follow-up craft the next day. She is Sarah, after all.)

She swam like a shark* in our pool. Oh yes she did.

She brought Katie and Noah (more Furman friends!) to meet Charlotte too.


She also convinced Anneliese to balance acorns on her head as a hat while floating around in the pool (impressive? oh yes) and stayed up late talking with me after a healthy round of popcorn, chocolate, red wine, and When Harry Met Sally. And she single-handedly kept both Charlotte and Dr. Eric sleepy and happy in the process. Whew.
And she made me smile. A lot. As always.

*not a whale, no matter what Nathan's 4yo wisdom would claim.

Daddy Date

Last week, Mark took Nathan to the last Mudcats game of the season.  Which was at 11am on a Thursday.  Because... huh?  Needless to say, there wasn't a big crowd at the game, and Mark and Nathan had pretty much a whole section to themselves. 

(I gleaned this information from the photos I pulled off the camera, per our usual means of communication.)

Nathan was very excited for a morning alone with Daddy, and he spent several days afterward telling me about the date they went on.  Which first of all, proves how often I must use the word date to describe any outing, regardless of romantic implications.  And second, is just darned cute.

As best I can tell, their date consisted of eating junk food for lunch, sweating a lot in the sun, dancing (again) to music in the stadium, and running around the empty bleachers.

Your daily Nathan

What more could you want from a date with Daddy?

Other People Holding My Baby*

We've had a steady stream of visitors over the last few weeks, besides just the grandparents.  I haven't been super on top of things when it comes to taking pictures of everyone who came to meet Charlotte (and bring us food, in most cases... I seriously have not cooked in a month), but fortunately Mark seems to have the camera ready at least half the time.  (Daddy for the win.)

our friend and neighbor Mary (and brother Hayes came too)...

EMU came with her daughter Annie and her unborn baby U2...

Another Nathan (remember when he could barely hold *one* baby?)...

Renee, who apparently makes Charlotte want to swan-dive...

Mark's Clemson roomie Jeff and his wife Crystal (and two of their boys)...

my friend Sally from church choir...

our friend and super-sitter Leanna (and Dan!)...
and their new daughter Gabby (Charlotte's future bff)

One of my Furman roomies, Betsy, also came to visit, but somehow we didn't take pictures.  And Mr. David (of orange shoelace infamy) was also in town and spent a few minutes sweetly soothing Charlotte (impressive especially considering he's apparently never really been around a newborn before).  Also no pics. 

And the handful of church friends who came with dinners seemed to sneak in and out before we could bust out the camera either.  So you'll just have to trust me... Charlotte has lots of new friends and we've felt very loved and cared for by everyone who has come to meet her.

*My Furman friend LP once joked that she could make a whole facebook album of pics of herself holding other people's babies.  So our friend Kelley actually did make an album of other people holding her babies.  I'm joining the bandwagon.  Look what you started, LP.

Anneliese Giggling

Happy September! 

Because we're still on a daddy high around here, and because there's never a bad time to take thirty seconds and enjoy the giggling from this most beautiful of little girls... here you go:


(If you can't see the embedded video, click here to watch it on YouTube.)

More, please!  Indeed.