Nathan at Almost 10

Well I never thought I would see the day, but this year -- ten years in -- is the year I finally had to ask myself a few times, trying to remember which was Nathan's due date. (The 22nd. It was the 22nd!)

It's also the year everything went completely bananas and I stopped even pretending to blog, but I have to leave this space here anyway, my own little corner of the internet, because I need a home for memories and milestones and that kind of thing, even if the day-to-day captures have moved to other online homes.

As this is posting, our family is floating northward on America's highways, en route to Wisconsin Dells, because a day of giant waterparks is what Nathan requested for his 10th birthday, and we do love a reason for a road trip. (And a waterpark.) (And a celebration.) It's funny how tween and preteen birthday requests have moved away from toys and Thomas and Friend Cars, and are now all about devices and bikes and projects and trips. COME BACK TO ME, FRIEND CARS. (Cars 3 is out this summer and I won't lie, I'm dying to see it just so I can cry some nostalgia tears remembering the baby and toddler years.)

So yeah, Nathan is about to turn ten. We've known him for a decade. We've been parents for a decade. I am so freaking full of Feelings my head has been spinning for weeks.

Nathan has had a really good year -- dare I say it was even better than when he was five? (#fiveforever!) He is kind and responsible and funny, and while he remains a true introvert, he is ever more out of his shell. He likes public speaking, and he is proud anytime he can be in a leader role.

He is doing pretty well in school, working hard enough to make decent grades, but not so hard he sacrifices precious Pokemon chatter time. He loves science and math, and loves reading history and biography books. It's taken me years to convince him that novels (or any fiction) are also a delight, but finally FINALLY he is very super crazy into Harry Potter, is partway through the 7th book, and talks about almost nothing else these days. In classic Nathan fashion, he spends hours in internet rabbit holes about fan theories and movie castings and behind the scenes info, and lost in Pottermore fandom, and he thinks it's very important that I tell you here that he's a proud Hufflepuff who thinks fairness, justice, loyalty, and inclusion are the most important things (this is actually delightfully accurate about him).

These days he says he'd like to be an architect when he grows up; he spends lots of his time building and designing all manner of things with his legos and sketching and any boxes or tubes or bottles or other crap he pulls from the recycling bin. (He might or might not have a tiny hoarding problem in his room.)

He also loves watching Master Chef, Jr, and has been harboring some serious cooking desires recently. He wants to try new foods and learn to make them, and we don't even know what happened to our little baby who only ever wanted to eat bagels, and now requests lunch dates so he can have some grilled salmon which we never really fix at home. He delights me in surprising quirky ways, and I love seeing him become more and more himself.

He has become surprisingly (to us! we didn't see it coming!) athletic in the last year, thriving at soccer, making a good effort at basketball, and swimming and running faster than many kids his age, despite his small size (he's still the tiniest kid in his grade). He had two bad scooter spills this year resulting in a few (minor) fractures and injuries in his wrist, elbow, knee and hip -- and spent most of his spring in a leg cast, wrist brace and sling. He was discouraged at the time, but has recovered with no problems and is back to normal now.

He's still playing his cello, and has buckled down and really worked hard at this year; we are officially impressed by what he can do. And! He can now match a pitch, singing! We also never thought we'd see that day. :) He loves choir at church, partly because he's suddenly a great singing leader, and partly because as one of the older kids, he has lots of chances for speaking parts and reading at the front of the church, which he loves.

He and Anneliese are still chummy with each other above all others, but are learning to branch out and be social with their own peer groups and also with Charlotte. They've had a few moments of pain together this year that were hard to watch, but also good to see them grow and learn.

Nathan is still the tiny adult in our family, classic oldest child: doing a funny dance between needing to be a baby with snuggles and back scratching and coddling -- and acting as grown up as possible, bossing his sisters and generally trying to manage everyone and everything around him (I seriously have NO IDEA WHERE HE GETS THIS *ahem*). He's helpful, sometimes to a fault, but we love about him that  he always takes initiative and looks to see what others might need or want. His toddlerhood excellence at empathy is manifesting in new and caring ways, and we are so proud.

Happy almost-ten to our wonderful, serious, funny, loving, bright baby boy. Watching you grow for a decade has been the greatest joy of our lives.

Nathan at Almost Nine

Nine years ago today, I woke up eager to read the new last final Harry Potter book, and eager to meet my unborn baby, but hopefully not at the same time. (Was secretly worried my  labor would interrupt my Series Ending Feelings before I could finish.) (It didn't.) (Was also not-so-secretly worried that I wouldn't even know I was in labor, doing that awkward 40-weeks mental dance of "pee or broken water?" because the end of pregnancy is so glamorous.)

I can't believe that was nine years ago.

It no longer feels like yesterday, exactly, but it also feels like... well, not like nine years. And if this is what nine years feels like, then I can't believe I only have nine left. He's halfway out of the house! Which is not a ridiculous mental milestone at all so bite your tongue.

Today* he's a full-on big kid, doing big kid things, like reading Harry Potter himself. (Yes! Novels! He reads them now!) (Sometimes!) (He still would choose a biography or fact book nineteen times out of twenty.)

*Well, today today he is not doing any big kid thing or reading any books, because he's battling down a barf bug as I type this. Having a big kid means that when they're sick, you sit ten feet away at the computer and listen to them dry heave while you write a blog post about them. It's both easier and harder than having a sick baby.

(Oh who am I kidding. It's totally easier.)

He's a good sick kid though. He's rull pukey in general when he's sick, so he's kind of a champ at it by now. If one of the kids has to be barfy, I'm glad it's him. Which is a weird thing to say about him at this milestone juncture, but it's organic to our day, so, there you go.

Besides A+ barfing, which I feel like I should stop talking about now, Nathan is doing really well these days. I was told that eight would be as good as five, and I think maybe it has been. Eight is much less moody than seven, and much more helpful, and much more worldly.

He needs me less than ever, but when he does need me, he needs me bigger. If that makes sense. When we do encounter rough patches, it's not about whining or potty training or grabbing anymore, it's about honesty and sneakiness and work ethic and bullies and the balance between fitting in and being doggedly confident in who you are. Raising tiny humans is no joke, and we are constantly flying by the seat of our pants, especially with Nathan, because the oldest kid is always throwing stuff at you you didn't even know you didn't know, didn't think of to think about. Parenting: not for the faint of heart.

He is still doing great in school, although he's right in that space where from a teacher's perspective he is fiiiiiiine and doing his work well enough, and not causing trouble, that he flies under the radar a bit when he's not doing his best, because it's still good enough. So we have had a lot of conversations about not half-assing his schoolwork, and not rushing to be done, and not practicing only the parts he already knows just because they're more fun to play, etc etc etc. How do you teach an eight-year-old the intrinsic value of hard work, especially in a reward-saturated world? That's not rhetorical, I'm really asking. TELL ME IF YOU KNOW PLEASE FOR REAL.

He has a handful of good kids at school that he buddies around with, and a handful that make me purse my lips, which I assume is about normal and will always be the case. He goes to a super diverse school, so he has friends from all continents and many religions, and is becoming a person who knows how and what to ask people about their heritage, his cultural curiosity unstifled by the fear of being offensive, because he is in relationship with all kinds of kids. I've admired him several times when, for instance, he sees the Asian man playing as a guest violinist from church, and he is happy and friendly to walk up to him and ask him about his instrument, or if his family is from Korea or another place in Asia - and what unfolds is a perfectly natural conversation that isn't about race but also doesn't shy away from it. He takes in stride that some of his Muslim friends pray several times a day during school, or that his Sikh Indian friend wears a turban. He just... casually knows a lot about a variety of things, as we all do about our friends, I suppose, but it's so cool that he lives it and is growing a kind and nuanced language for something we, as a culture, struggle to do, or at least to do well. The kids are all right, as they say. (They give me hope.)

 His favorite school work is science, for sure -- he is curious about the world and nature and animals and astronomy and matter, and loves being able to build some tool or model that will help him test an idea. He also does math extremely well; I kind of can't believe how quickly his little brain can grasp a new concept and be able to apply it. He still likes to read a lot, but mostly for fun; it's not something he seems to want to push himself on. He likes writing stories but prefers... reports. "This is an informational text about x," he tells us on the reg. (It's usually a historical ship, or an animal; yesterday, it was a commodities report about how some virus is affecting coffee beans and the world might be running out of coffee; this is information he thought I would like to know.)

He loves legos, if anything, even more than he has in the past. He is less and less married to the idea of keeping his creations together as they look on the box, and increasingly into making his own designs, or replicating designs he sees in the real world. His need to build things extends beyond legos and now includes a variety of trash, which he raids from the recycling bin, and I am constantly having to gently* urge him to remove the coke can boxes and coffee cans and Gatorade bottles from his room, where they are inevitably taped to each other and to rocks and strings and folded paper, because that's a dinosaur habitat/ ship yard/ new solar system/ airport/ lemur rescue center DUH MOM CAN'T YOU SEE I NEED THAT. (*What, I try.)

Nathan is so independent and helpful at home; he's definitely the chore workhorse of the three kids, and helps his sisters and both Mark and me, so much. He fixes his own breakfast and packs his own lunch (and often helps the girls with both those things) and fancies himself a budding master chef, so he loves to help with dinner too.

He loves his cello and his choir at church, and he loves running. The big kids do a track club every Friday morning before school, and he often gets a couple of miles in, which impresses me. He's also become quite a fast swimmer this summer, which blows my mind a little. Two years ago he couldn't swim at all, and now he's one of the fastest in the pack at his swim meets. He just looks like a swimmer in the water; it's the most athletic thing we have ever seen him do, and it's fun to see him grow in confidence with it.

He's still one of the smallest in his grade, less skin and bones now that he is getting stronger, but still just... short. We've been saying for over a year now that he's due a growth spurt at any moment, but it keeps not coming. So.... yeah? Any day now? I guess? Or maybe never.

He loves minecraft. He films himself talking to the camera for his "youtube channel, please subscribe!" (which is locked to everyone but him, but he can dream of his internet superstardom if he wants). He sends lovely heart-feelings texts and emails. He has a teenager voice he uses to talk on the phone. Has spent the year obsessed with Pokemon, so the current GO trend is blowing his mind and providing some good Daddy-kid bonding time to be out exploring. He plays fine alone but still clings to attention from Anneliese, which often wanes these days, because of Charlotte's equal demand and more interesting (to her) playtime ideas. He is bossy and firm and kind and generous. He remains sensitive, and is easily hurt and offended. He saves his silly side for people he really trusts. He is ever more self-assured, and no longer scared of real conversation with new people, even adults. He is polite and witty and full of fun! facts! and loves studying the giant world atlas that hangs over his bed.

He is a wonderful person, and now I need to go wipe his face with a washcloth and scratch his sicky back and offer him some ice chips. (He's patient zero. Pray for us.)

We love you, sweet Nathan. Happy due date, you excellent human, you.

(Half) A Year in the Life

So. I missed this here little ol' blog, and I came over a few days ago to dust it off and get caught up, and there were gross horrible rapey comments waiting for moderation, and it momentarily upended how I felt about the internet, because amongst all the loveliness and wonderful human connection, there is apparently horrible barf-inducing assholery as well, and even though that's a thing you think you know, you don't know it til it's aimed at your own children.

So, I did what any normal person would do and I locked this sh!t down. Hello from this newly guard-railed space which can't be googled and no longer has links posted in any public profile, where people only find me if I share on a platform that's now private, because all my platforms are now private. Which means people only find me if I share myself where they can.

Hi! You found me! I shared myself to you!

Y'all, it hasn't been our best season/s in these parts. The honest but not-gritty recap:

NOVEMBER

I turned 35, Another Nathan flew in on my birthday and Mark and I had a lovely visit with him, and I felt very loved and very middle-aged.

Mark and I took a grownups-only trip to Mexico, and my dad came and stayed in our house for a week and managed everything (everything!) at home, because he is amazing. Mexico was also amazing. Mark was amazing. It was such a happy trip.

Mark turned 35. We had cake and a date and took this family picture. Yay family!

I started a new job.

!!!!!!!

I mentioned this in my year-end recap post; it's the same job I did before, but with a different company. The whole going-back-to-work thing was really fraught and stressful, half because I'm suddenly 35 and don't know what to do with my life, and half because Mark's work is so batsh!t insane that it's really difficult to piece any kind of work schedule together and balance it with also picking up the slack at home, plus all the normal stuff I do (I was already busy). And, so, things kind of came to a head around this time about the balance in our marriage and house and life, and there were ugly feelings and patterns surrounding some of that and, well, yeah.

Speaking of ugly, this laptop bag I got from my company is kind of the worst, yes?

(I got a new one to tide me over until I find The Bag, don't worry.) (Suggestions welcome, if you love your laptop bag, by the way.)

DECEMBER

It was not our best holiday season. It's kind of a blur now. But here, look at a sweet Christmas picture of the babies.

JANUARY

We got a new car! I forced Mark (forced!) to feel his feelings about his old Mazda, the first car we ever bought together, and we sold it and are now back to being an Accord family. It'll be mine when the van dies, and whatever Big Car we get to replace it will be mostly Mark's to drive around daily. SEDAN ME, YO.

Since we didn't get our traditional New Year's Eve all together, I flew to Minnesota for Another Nathan's birthday. It was -36 with the wind chill (yes that says NEGATIVE THIRTY SIX OH EM GEE) when I went to church that Sunday morning. I secretly felt like a badass and I secretly love the snow, but only because it's in a place with plows and such. Was a delightful visit and left feeling... spirit-filled. Friendship-filled. Etc.

We lost power for a night in an ice storm and the kids and I camped out by the (gas) fireplace and read books out loud. It was surprisingly sweet, in a Laura Ingalls (cussy) kind of way.

Also, Charlotte helped me with work, and it sort of delighted me, on the days it didn't exhaust me.

I'M RIGHT ON TOP OF THAT, ROSE!

And that is legit the most exciting thing to report in all of January.

FEBRUARY

Anneliese burned her hand badly on the stove while helping me make sloppy joes.

She also read Amelia Bedelia and sent funny texts about it.

And wore this great outfit.

Hmmm I'm grasping at straws. February mostly sucked.

MARCH

I went to Pawley's Island to see my friend Amy for the weekend, and play with her kids at the beach. It was cold so we didn't put the kids in swimsuits, but they got in anyway, and who couldn't have seen that coming?

Our grocery store stopped selling my favorite bread that I love for toast, so I started making my own. Because I love toast. I eat it every day. With coffee. Toast is a meal for me. Anyway.

I played with recipes until I figured out how to do it exactly how I like it, and it's a barely-changed version of Arwen's "the bread" and hey it turns out I'm not scared of yeast anymore, and it makes me feel all Laura Ingalls (the good way) to do this for myself every week.

Bowden's kidneys started to lose functioning. Our sweet girl is getting old.

March wasn't really my favorite either.

APRIL

Things started to feel a little less sucky in these parts, for a moment.

We got a new nephew! Meet baby Charlie! This is Ali's little brother. Anneliese of course always loves a new baby to hold.

We celebrated Easter, but sadly not with a beach drive, since Bumgarner Beach Week is moved to August this year. The kids looked cute though.

We went camping as a family. It was pretty, the kids loved it, it was fine. No one sleeps well when camping, right? But campfire food is always delicious.

I went to Las Vegas for the Blathering, and it turns out Vegas is nothing like I was picturing, in all the best ways. It was clean and fun and lively and beautiful, and I tell you what, people in Vegas know how to commit to a theme. It's just all very... well done.

This is my favorite picture with Sarah that we have ever taken.
Every time I look at it I feel happy.
I legit keep it in an album on my phone of things to look at on crappy days.
I love her.

And it was wonderful to be with amazing ladies who are good for my heart and make me laugh til I cry, and love me even in hard seasons, and do not hate my life even when I hate it, and to hug Another Nathan on the way home via MSP.

Basically re-entry sucked, after a happy laughy weekend away from real life. Suuuuuucked. On many levels, but not the least of which was Charlotte getting terribly sick with a chest infection (shocker) (asthma baby) and that bled into a vom bug, and it was generally  miserable.

MAY

Anneliese got a grade-level responsibility award at school, and we about burst with pride.

She also sang an adorable solo in her chorus concert at school.

Everything's coming up Anneliese!

We all (well, except Charlotte, but she was there, listening) sang/played together in a music festival at church. A seriously lovely family moment after lots of hard months.

Nathan got big kid teeth! And had several teeth pulled in preparation for braces, sometime... sometime. Who knows exactly when. Braces! They are coming!

He also played delightfully in his orchestra concert and is vying for a spot in the advanced group next fall. (Is maybe a long shot? I can't tell.)

My work got completely insane and busy, and I needed to do it full time, which we had expected for spring, but we didn't know what that would feel like on the home front til I was doing it. Working full time from home with only a few hours of childcare a day is NO JOKE, especially when May is too much anyway. Just... too much. People of the world: May is too much. Please spread the schedule around a bit. COME ON.

I laughed-to-keep-from-crying by singing into my phone headset like Britney, basically every day. (I cried too, because obviously.) (Mark's job continued/continues to be also insane.) (SOMETHING HAS TO GIVE.)

Charlotte finished her last day of preschool, ever. Here she is starting 2's in 2013, and finishing 4's this spring.

Lest you think she is always this beautiful, you should know she smiled like this on the first attempt:

I don't even know.

At some point in May, Mark went to Seattle for a week and kicked off a long several weeks/months of us like ships passing in the night. Trips backing up to each other, and work schedules, and yeah.

We needed the space but then also missed each other, which is a really nice feeling when you think about it.

JUNE

I started the month with a Memorial Day road trip with Another Nathan, from Minnesota down to North Carolina, kinda reversed from what we did when we moved him up there two summers ago. Turns out, we're still great at road trips.

Then I spent two weeks and change at Montreat, where he had asked me to be the office manager for the first several weeks of youth conference, which he DIRECTED this year, and did amazingly well.

Montreat was wonderful and spirit-filling as always. My heart has a whole blog post stirring about just this, but not today.

Oh and also I broke my foot there. *cringe face emoji*

After the conference, we had a few days of all of us at home for a moment, and Another Nathan and Mr David visiting. and we celebrated our 13th anniversary and the success of the youth conference and David's new book (!!) and all was well.

Mark went on ASP and I missed him, again. Re-entry sucked, again.

At some point we went on a date and I ordered this drink with a flower in it and we took this picture together and it makes me smile to look at it, so I am posting it here.

Marriage is hard work but sometimes you look cute, so.

A Concert and a Recital

This one is mostly for the grandparents, right? The end of the school year always means concerts and recitals and things that bring tears to parents' and grandparents' eyes while the rest of the world watches with a resounding meh. But assuming you're a person who is enchanted by baby performers, in particuarly my baby performers, then here, behold!

The girls' dance recital:

They were cute, they matched, they delighted me. This is their tap routine:


(If you can't see the embedded video, click here to watch on YouTube.)

Anneliese has turned into such a leader in the last year. Charlotte is the youngest in the group and is mostly in her own world, but she loves to dance so much.

Ballet routine is here, if you're a person who can't live until you've seen both. :) Charlotte cracks me up; she sort of knows the choreography but she is going to do it in her own time, as the spirit moves her, y'all. Ha.

brb framing this

Nathan's orchestra concert:

Okay so Nathan takes himself very seriously. This is a thing I don't really even need to say, right? If you read this blog, ever, you know this about him. He got rosin and he got tuned and he played and it was super sweet.

I really maintain that learning music and an instrument is so good for kids (and not optional in our house) and it's so cool to see how much Nathan has learned in just a year. I hope he loves playing for a long time to come.


(If you can't see the embedded video, click here to watch on YouTube.)

My dad came too and he was legit impressed with some of the older groups. Our elementary school does an incredible job with this orchestra program, and I'm so glad our kid(s) can be in it.

Okay that's all.

This ends today's episode of special snowflakes. We shall return to our normal programming momentarily.

A Day in the Life

Remember a year ago when everyone was posting a day in their lives, and it was fun and interesting to read and see how we all spend our days, but I was too full of Feelings and Exhaustion that I didn't have the bandwidth to take pics all day, much less write about it?

Okay, so, I am doing it now. Because the Ali thing is ending in a few weeks, and I have gotten through a whole year of juggling four kids, and for no other reason than my own memories, I want to remember what it was like. (On an average day.) (Not a terrible day.) (The terrible days I would like to forget.)

This is a Tuesday a couple weeks ago:

6:49am - My alarm goes off. I am still sleeping (about half of the days, I'm not, the kids are up or whatever) so I hit snooze four times before actually putting my feet on the floor. Mark is already at work, which is mind-boggling. (Normally we all sleep right through his wakeup and shower and exit, but some mornings Charlotte hears him leave and pitches a fit if he doesn't wave to her in her window. A FIT. Today is not one of those days. *hallelujah hands*)

7:00am - The kids are eating breakfast; they have yogurt on the bottom shelf of the fridge, and waffles on the bottom shelf of the freezer, and instant oatmeal in their pantry shelf. They mostly fend for themselves, although Nathan helps some with Charlotte. I can hear them and they are fine, so I keep hitting snooze.

7:20am - I finally roll out of bed, let Bowden out, and get dressed and washed and brushed. I always brush my teeth first thing (I have a complex where if I am going to run out of time to fully get ready before Nick or Barbara walks in with Ali, I think it's worse to have morning breath than not have on proper pants or a bra), which I know is ridiculous because I will have coffee in mere minutes and who brushes their teeth right before coffee? Me, stupidly, but whatever.

7:35am - I make my (first) coffee and sort through my list for the day. I made today's list last night, scheduling from my "to do this week" list that I made Sunday night (which is gleaned from my "this month" or "next month" lists that are rolled over and re-sorted every week). My list has everything I will do all day, including drinking this very coffee, and my next. Plus additional things that will crop up and I will do, and then write down and cross off.

Listen, because this is important: I am not sorry for even one bit of this list-begets-list process. I get sh!t done, and this is how.

7:50am  - Ali gets dropped off. My kids are finishing breakfast and I herd them into the bonus room and put the gate up so all four can play.

7:51am - Every day said playing begins with dumping all the foam blocks from their bag onto Ali's head and yelling "soft block shower!"  Every. Day. The blocks will then remain scattered all over the floor for the whole rest of the day, barely played with, until the painful cleanup hour before bedtime. I scowl at the soft block shower. It is no longer cute to me.

7:55am - I sort all of the laundry in our room into piles. Tuesday is laundry day for our stuff (Monday is for the kids, Wednesday is for the towels and sheets and kitchen cloths/napkins).

7:57am - At some point Nathan wanders into my room and checks his school meal menu and the weather, so he knows what to wear. (It's NC in May. Wear shorts. You don't need to look it up, buddy.) He also tells me what today's weather will be like in Holden Beach, Montreat, and Northfield MN. Like every day, I don't have the heart to tell him I give none craps. I smile and say mmm hmm.

8:00am - I start the first load of laundry and then go pack lunches. Today it's just for Anneliese and Nathan (who has determined that whatever was on his school menu didn't sound great). Nathan makes the sandwiches and fills the water bottles and I do the rest. He sneaks pieces of candy into both lunch boxes and I pretend not to notice. I write notes to both kids and sneak them into both lunch boxes and he pretends not to notice.

8:10am - All three girls have been bickering in the bonus room. Someone has pulled someone else's hair, someone colored on someone else's page, Ali has a crayon in her mouth. Normal stuff. I ignore it til lunches are done, and then break it up and send my girls upstairs to get dressed, which for some reason they aren't yet.

8:20am - I do some really excellent lazy parenting from my desk chair, nagging the bigs to brush their teeth, asking Anneliese to find her brush, telling Charlotte that no, "brushing" her hair with her hand doesn't count, and reminding people that no, I don't know where your shoes are, because you are in charge of your own crap. I text a little bit with Mark to say good morning and stuff, and he asks how I slept, which is always a Question, since I fail at sleep, frequently.

8:35am - I check the baby gate and lock the doors and leave Ali and Charlotte playing in the bonus room while Nathan and Anneliese get their lunch boxes/backpacks/cello and we walk to the bus stop at the end of our block. They make bets on whose ride will come first - Nathan's bus, or our friend who gives Anneliese a ride on Tuesdays and Thursdays since she is driving by anyway.

8:45 - 9:15am - I walk back to the house, switch the laundry, and do the louder things on my list (dishwasher, dishes) before I change Ali and make her a bottle and put her down for a nap. Some days this is my gym time, but today Ali's mood can't make it another hour, and I know I will need a block of time to get groceries later anyway, so the gym isn't happening (it's really hard to to both gym and groceries in one morning, with her nap).

9:30am - Ali is napping, and I go in between supervising Charlotte doing dot art painting on the porch, and working through my list. Today that means replying to a few emails, scheduling a playdate, rescheduling a dentist appointment, making a grocery list, hunting down a high-ish resolution image to download and mirror image and print onto iron transfer paper for a t-shirt for a costume for Anneliese next week, firming lunch plans with a friend with a new baby tomorrow, tying ribbons around chocolate bars for teacher appreciation, lots of glamorous trophy wife things, you know.

10:30am - Another Nathan calls with his daily good morning on the way to work, and we chat for what I always think is five minutes but is actually ten.

10:45am - I have my second coffee of the day, this time with toast. Also with twitter and instagram and whatever fun sales might be in my inbox.

11:00am - Ali is awake and chatting in the crib, so I switch the laundry again and make her a snack-to-go, and then get her up and throw both girls in the car.

11:15am - Grocery shopping. Easy enough, with just Ali and Charlotte. (Which is why I do it on Tuesdays.)

12:15pm - I come home and buckle Ali into the high chair and she eats lunch (today Nick and Barbara sent black beans, sweet potatoes, a sandwich, and some cheese; this is more food than Charlotte will eat in the whole day but Ali gobbles it all), safely contained while I unload the groceries. Charlotte is also sitting at the table but instead of eating, she is crying, because obviously. (?? No idea.)

12:45pm - All the groceries are put away and the inside of my fridge looks like the dairy section at the store (we buy about thirty yogurts a week, and five or six gallons of milk), and I check all the packaging for box tops for Nathan's school (when they bring in enough, they can get extra library books!) and then Charlotte takes the rest to the recycling bin. She does it without complaining or whining  HA HA HA NO sorry y'all I can't. Nope. She is a pill about it.

12:50pm* - Back in the car to go to church and get Anneliese. I fight for parking, send a few cussy texts about it, and then find a spot finally. I parallel park LIKE A BOSS.

(If I were a superhero, my power would be parallel parking. No, making good lists. No, parallel parking. I would save people from villains and crime in tight parking situations like preschool pickup, where no other hero dares attempt.)

*1:00pm - that 12:50 up there is a lie, it's always 1:00. Anneliese's class is always one that runs on the late side, and I just can't ever get out the door any sooner. It's 1, every time.

1:01pm - I leave the car and a/c running with the girls in it (ALERT THE AUTHORITIES) (no, don't, it's mere feet from the door, not even a parking lot to contend with since we park on the street, and it's legit safer to leave them there than unbuckle into traffic, so shut it), and grab Anneliese. She asks for skittles from the preschool office, which is an option every day, but I am mean and we only do it on Wednesdays. Which means I always have to answer a question about what day it is. Even though she knows full well what day it is. Answering questions that don't need to be answered! Many times on repeat! Parenting!

1:15pm - I bring a bag of books to the public library to return, and pick up a few new holds. It's slightly embarrassing how often we go do this. Like, several times a week. I also drive through for a fountain drink diet coke to have later with my lunch. Sometimes you just need a fountain drink diet coke and nothing else will do.

1:30pm - We are back home, I switch the laundry (it never ends), Anneliese unloads her lunch box pieces into the dishwasher (new parents: IT GETS BETTER), and the girls play outside. Ali is juuuust on the verge of walking, so she toddles a bit holding onto my fingers and watching the big girls swing and sing. (Swinging and singing go together at our house. It's hard to do the former without the latter.)

2:00pm - I give Ali another bottle, change another diaper, and the girls all go down for naps. Only Ali sleeps. Some days they all need naps, and some days I need both big kids to stay awake, and some days it's just too nice to chase them inside, but today they are all going upstairs. Charlotte and Anneliese can play in each other's rooms (they are joined by a jack & jill closet) as long as they stay upstairs and don't wake the baby.

2:05 - Charlotte wanders downstairs to poop, because she went pee before alone time but forgot to poop. This happens every day. I always remind her before she goes upstairs. It never works. I sigh.

2:15pm - I eat my favorite lunch on the back porch, this salad of perfection from trader joes (I am not even a kale person! kale is dumb! but this salad is everything -- sweet and spicy and crunchy and perfect. I love it more every time I have it. It almost tastes like candy to me, and yes you can smack me for saying that about kale, because I hate myself for it too, but it's true. BUY THIS SALAD), and my diet coke that has been waiting in the fridge. I listen to a podcast while I eat, and I say hi to Another Nathan on his way back to work after his own lunch break. He is in the middle of a day of annoying meetings, and he needs to cuss about them, and I am always glad to listen to some lunchtime cussing. I mean who isn't?

3:00pm - I have a quiet break sitting outside, trying not to be "productive" but just doing a few minutes of what I want to do. Which is important! Important enough that "read/rest" gets written on my to-do list every day. First, so I don't have to be feel bad for doing it. And second, as a reminder that time for me to zone out is as important as all the other things I do, for everyone else's well-being.

3:15pm - (I also write the first half of this blog post, and sew sprinkles and buttons onto a few cupcake tops for a felt food swap I am doing.)

3:45pm - Ali is awake so I bring all the girls to the bonus room and supervise some playtime while spending some time doing some Calendar Magic. Every Tuesday night this month we have three overlapping activities -- my choir rehearsal, Nathan's baseball games, and Mark's softball games. The time vary slightly each week, and I am trying to juggle which nights we can work around Mark's shift (he is done about 7) and which days he is off and how we can coordinate pickup/dropoff/bringing various children to our various events, and hopefully no one has to miss more than one event each. (I cuss as I do it, knowing full well that at least some of these arrangements will have to be RE-arranged as life actually unfolds. One game rained out means the next one shouldn't be missed even if that was the plan. A rained out game means choir is easy this week and therefore can be skipped next week. Etc etc. It's always something, and I hate planning it knowing stuff will change, but also, we have to plan something. SO.) Calendar magic = invisible work = parenting!

4:15pm - Nathan gets off the bus and crashes into the house in a way that shows me a glimpse of his teenager years. Door flung open, backpack falling off his shoulder, trudging over to where he can set his cello down and empty his lunch box. Everyone starts clamoring for a snack. YES! Have a snack! The answer is the same every day!

4:20pm - I put the last load of laundry into the dryer and silently congratulate myself with a mental party hat emoji. What gives you a better (albeit fleeting) illusion of control than a stack of finished laundry?

4:25pm - We have a busy evening ahead with very little downtime for the kids, so I concede to some playtime in the pool now while we can. The kids all change into their swimsuits and leave a trail of shorts and underwear and clothes all over the porch (EVERY. DAY.) and they jump in, while Ali sits in my lap and we watch from the side.

4:45pm - Nick arrives to pick up Ali. I give him the report on how she did, which today isn't much. She pooped x1000 (normal) and her bum is red (less normal) and apparently these are the things we talk about now. I want to go back in time and tell 12yo Nick to stop throwing snowballs at me just for kissing his brother, because I'm sticking around, and oh by the way I will care for your child one day and we will happily talk about her poops, so BE NICE, PUNK TWEEN NICK.

5:15pm - I reluctantly chase everyone out of the pool and into the house for dinner. We eat leftover pork tenderloin from a few nights ago, and easy mac, and believe me when I say the only reason it's even that fancy is because I am writing this post. Otherwise, we eat oatmeal and cheese slices on hectic nights. Or cereal. Just keeping it real.

5:50pm - I am ready for cleanup and bedtime but am I still writing this? Is our day still going?

6:00pm - Nathan changes into his baseball uniform and sits down to practice his cello, which becomes the backup music to my nagging frustrated voice trying to get the girls to clean up the bonus room and their rooms. "Are you cleaning?" "That doesn't sound like cleaning!" "I am going to do the dishes and when I come back, this room better be clean!" "Mommy is mad!" "How is this room not clean?"

6:30pm - The dishes are done, everything is clean, and I am trying to herd people to the car. Charlotte takes four tries to find her shoes, ends up in tears and needing help from literally everyone else to find them (they are in the middle of her bedroom floor), and then insists she doesn't need to pee because she went last year. Um. (She pees anyway BECAUSE I SAID SO.) Anneliese deliberates over just the right chapter book to bring along (she can't read) (she is trying to impress some older girls who are little league siblings too) (the whole thing is moot because she is not staying for the game) and Nathan is pissy because his baseball bag isn't where he left it, or it was left open, or some other trivial thing I don't care about AT ALL. Whoever has messed with his stuff is a much smaller transgression in my book than listening to him complain about it.

6:31pm - I hate 6:30pm. I don't even like it when it's the start of bedtime, and I really hate it when we are all walking out the door.

6:45pm - We drop Nathan off for his baseball game, leave him under the eye of a friend of ours, another dad on the team. When Mark gets off work he will go straight to the field and watch the game, and should only miss the first bit. He had considered taking Nathan with him to his own softball game after that, but it doesn't even start til 8:30, so he isn't going. Thank goodness. It's too much for one evening.

7:00pm - The girls and I go to choir. They bring Hattie and Sheepie and a box of crayons, and they sprawl on the floor of the choir room and color. Halfway through rehearsal they opt for a liturgical dance in the back of the room. A few minutes after that they get out a music stand and pretend to conduct. I tell myself everyone is charmed but I'm not really sure.

8:00pm - Choir isn't over, but the girls are done. Anneliese is slumped on me in my row, and Charlotte is curled up in a ball on the chair next to me, where she had to spin in many circles like a puppy before she got comfy. We bail on the end of rehearsal.

8:10pm - Mark and Nathan get home at the same time as we do. Mark does bedtime with the girls while Nathan does homework and then leans on me and reads. He likes us to read by ourselves together. I sit and stare at the wall. Somehow an hour passes. I have no idea. Twitter? iMessage? Instagram? Seriously no idea. We send Nathan up to bed before he falls asleep downstairs and we have to carry him. (This happens at least half the nights, because... couch parenting.)

9:00pm - Mark and I chat and catch up on our days while he makes us some dinner. I have a taste for shrimp and grits which he doesn't really want but makes me anyway, because -- wait for it, this is important -- he is a gem. Eating after 9pm is super normal for us. We watch two episodes of a show on Netflix and then I can't take any more noise or talking. My tv limit is very low these days.

10:00pm - I do the dishes and then escape to the guest house for some silence. I read a few chapters of Goblet of Fire (I am re-reading all the HP books this year, which is fun because although I love them, I've only read each of them once. It's been a decade. It's time.) I start my list for tomorrow, and I write the second half of this post.

10:45pm - Another Nathan calls after his gym time. Tuesdays are one of our nights for longer catchups; I tell him about our choir people he misses, and talk through my angst about employment ideas for the fall, and he's trying to wrap his brain around the final push with his choir for the program year, and tells me about some fun plans with his parents this weekend and stories of what he's up to with his new people up there. It's nice to make time to hear each other.

11:30pm - I take my bedtime shower by candlelight, which sounds way sexier than it is. Mostly it's just that it smells delightful (coffee!) and it adheres to my doctor-organized Sleep Plan of having dim lights after certain times, amongst a million other things that are supposed to ensure me good sleep but only get me there maybe half the time.

I read a few chapters, and then toss ans turn, and then think all the thoughts, and sometime after 1am (or 2 or 3, depending on how unlucky I am), I sleep until sometime before but not after 6:49am again.

A day in the life.

(Late) Holiday Orchestra Concert

Nathan's school orchestra holiday concert got delayed in December, for reasons I can't remember now (and probably didn't care much about even then), so it waited until January. I mean, who doesn't want to hear beginning string students play Jingle Bells, in any season? (I'm not being sarcastic. It was and is delightful.)

Rosining your bow is very serious business.

I won't post a million videos; I'm not That Mom (yes I am). But here are the two he was most excited about and wants me to post. (Pay attention, grandparents. There will be a quiz.) (Nathan is on the end, in the second row back of cellos.)

Ode to Joy, which he told us at least a thousand times is a very important piece of classical music:


(Click here to watch the embedded video above on YouTube.)

And then Frère Jaques, which he wants me to tell you is a Big Deal because they are not all playing in unison but different instruments have different parts and that is very important! (Zomg adorable.)


(Click here to watch the embedded video above on YouTube.)

What does it say about me that I have become a person who LEGITIMATELY ENJOYS listening to this? Only a mom, right? (But... not because I'm his mom! At least, I don't think so? I really like it! I do!)

Seven, No Ten Quick Takes

1.) Anneliese picked out a new winter hat with some Amazon birthday money. Raise your hand if you never could have guessed she'd pick one like this:

2.) I took Nathan on a date to the symphony last weekend. It was a super crappy day and a really lovely break from the super crappy day. He was cellodorable, admiring all the instruments.

3.) I read the Astronaut Wives Club this weekend and it's far from brilliant writing -- mostly a series of vignettes about the first astronaut families in the sixties -- but I didn't need it to be a great novel, I was totally captivated anyway. I am now craving anything about the space race, I kinda want to watch Apollo 13 tonight, and I can't stop wikipedia-ing all the folks for a dose of Where Are They Now. Also I want to go back to the space center at Cape Canaveral (Mark and I visited in 2010 and it was great, but I think it would be even more great for me this week). 

So yeah, I'm hoping they make this into a tv show as has been promised (then delayed, but we'll see). The stories might actually tell better as a series instead of a book.

4.) Anneliese and Ali and I went for a fall walk a few days ago, just as the leaves were starting to change. You would not believe all the things a five-year-old has to tell her infant cousin about leaves changing, but it's a lot.

5.) We closed the pool last week and I miss it already.

6.) Nathan just read the "junior novel" version of the Lego movie and he seems to have internalized its message differently in print than on the screen. He now considers himself a Master Builder and keeps building things and telling us how he VISUALIZED them and that's how he designed them and oh man it cracks us up. (In a good way! He is sweet and smart. I'd hire him for all my aeronautical engineering needs, and no I'm not kidding.)

PS I got a haircut and highlights, as per my pre-birthday usual.

7.) After the slowest loudest construction project in the history of history, and many early-morning and late-night trips in my PJs to fuss at workers causing a ruckus outside of approved times ("I know you're just doing your job, but WE LIVE HERE" = me, sick of hearing myself talk), the house across the street is finally done! It was featured in a Parade of Homes thing, so we went to check it out, and it was nice in the way that fancy houses are always nice, but not our taste at all: some odd mashup of clean/modern and also totally dowdy. It's hard to explain. But anyway, if you want to live directly across the street, the house has a million dollar view!

Yes really.

8.) A few weekends ago when I was in Charlotte, I stopped at Ikea for some new cubes/shelving, which are lovely. (I got a teal cube system! TEAL! For my bathroom! Which I am now 99% sure won't fit but whatever, it's TEAL.) While I was there I also got Anneliese a new duvet, which I have been wanting for her since we rearranged all the bedroom furniture in our house A YEAR AGO, but the one I coveted for years before that has been discontinued, and anyway I never could find one that I liked AND she liked, and then this happened at Ikea, and now she has a very Anneliese bed.

Here is a thing I absolutely did not need but absolutely wanted, and I didn't buy it, but I'm pretty sure I might. It's a neon yellow stool! I mean, I need that, right? Someone talk me into it. Where should I put it?

9.) I have a new-ish phone case, and I love it. This is called a Loopy Case. It is just a case, with a loop in the back, which you can adjust to fit whatever finger you want. It is so simple and SO GENIUS.

It helps me hold my phone much steadier (I was a two-hand typer on my bigger android, and the smaller iphone is still an adjustment - slightly too small for two hands, but slightly too big for one -- and this makes it totally doable). It also means I never drop my phone on my face in bed anymore YES THAT IS A REAL THING. It also means I can knuckle it on the back of my hand and also carry a kid/purse/car seat, which keeps me from sticking my phone in my pocket instead, and that's always a good thing.

PS with the loop on the back you can stand it up for such purposes as alarm clocking. Or facetime dates. Or everyone trying to watch a video at the same time.

Anyway I love it, and I get asked about it all the time, so I am blogging about it. (My first one cracked, and I emailed them and they sent a new one -- with the loop holes now slightly offset, in their updated version, which I think will prevent that stress fracture from happening again -- and anyway with the recplacement they sent me an EXTRA. It's black, and I have a pink and a purple and a gray loop for it, so if you have a 5c and you want it, tell me and it's yours.)

10.) This post barely mentions Charlotte, but she's still the best Booler ever, so here, enjoy a delightful picture Mark took of her swinging out back.

Yes, she is wearing a sundress and some shorts and a tutu. Why, what do YOU wear to go swinging?