Favorites (Movie) Party, and a Sperm Whale Cake

So, here's a fun thing to blog about in an emotional roller coaster of week/weekend: we had a super sweet birthday party with Nathan yesterday! He had asked several months ago to do a movie party, which sounded easy and fun enough -- and got even better when Another Nathan said we could reserve his neighborhood's clubhouse movie theater for our own private show. Fun, right?! (Also free free free YES PLEASE.)

He went round and round and round about what kind of party he wanted, and even when I assured him he didn't need a theme or anything ( theme could just be "hey it's your birthday come watch a movie and have cake"), he still kept debating on what kiiiind of party it would be, and at some point he started referring to it as a Favorite Party, which would have all of his favorite things:

- legos

- sperm whales

- dinosaurs

- space

- friend cars

I mean, if that right there isn't a cohesive party theme, I don't know what is. Someone hire me to plan their event. It will totally make sense. Swearsies.

So we did it. We had a party with all of those things. Dinosaur balloons and napkins, and friend car plates, and a planets tablecloth (which I just now remembered I forgot to even use, ha whoops), and we watched the lego movie, and I made a sperm whale cake. The blasted sperm whale cake that he asked me for many weeks ago, and I had no idea where to start with, and eventually I landed on a really complicated solution:

Step 1- Make a cake.

Step 2- Put a sperm whale on top of the cake.

HI THERE AM GENIUS I CAN HAZ MOM TROPHY.

So actually it ended up being an adorable (very random, but adorable) party. He had a few friends from church, one from school, and even one he met last week at Montreat, who told Nathan he thought he lived in Durham, and since Nathan thought he lived in Raleigh, it worked out for them to go to each other's parties (zomg adorbz). They all ate pizza and had popcorn from the theater's popcorn stand/kettle/thing, and played with glow sticks, and watched the movie, and then opened presents and ate cake. 

favor bags with Nathan's "favorites" --
pack of legos, toy whale, dino eraser, Cars candy, in a space bag

the sperm whale cake --
which I'm sure is how I will remember this birthday

After the party, the birthday boy spent the afternoon swimming in the backyard with Uncle Nick and Aunt Barbara, and then we had a family dinner at his restaurant of choice -- McDonald's. He also opened a stack of fun presents from us and from grandparents, the most notable of which seems to be this GINORMOUS sperm whale, which is just what every kid needs for bedtime snuggling?

(He adores it, obviously.) (Yes, that is a squid for it to hunt. Or, if you're Anneliese, a friend to help it find rainbows. So.)

May all birthdays be so random yet so successful. Cheers to SEVEN!

More Montreat

So, Montreat. It was once again a spirit-fueling week volunteering at youth conference and hanging out with dear friends and baby Nathan (and no one tell me he is almost seven because no, he's a baby). It's kind of amazing how far from real life it feels up there (and, on the flip side, how obtrusive real life feels when it comes crashing back in).

This year was so much the same as last year and also so much was different. The youth in my small group this year were so easy, so chatty, so smart -- they connected way faster than I thought they would, to me and to each other, and leading through those sessions made the week fly by. The conference leadership was different, of course, which made keynote talks and worship and music all take a new feel, which was fine -- even better in some cases, and some felt lacking, all of it completely normal as the experience of one year morphs into the next.

I roomed with my awesome friend Liz from last year, and little Nathan stayed in an adjoining room with Another Nathan, and our little family suite (with another friend Nick, right next door) ended up being really fun and sweet. It took a few nights for the Nathans to adjust to sharing a room, but it ended up just fine, aside from a few spells of kicking and a few spells of sleep-moaning.

We kept a cooler full of snacks and drinks in our rooms, and we spent our nights, once everything had died down for the day, laughing and crying and feeling our feelings all together. Dorm life at its best! It was lovely to have a handful of people I love so much all in such close proximity for a few days. Especially knowing that Another Nathan is moving in just over a week, we were glad to all hold each other close for a bit, in a faithy place, a beautiful place.

It could have been a really sad and emotional week, and it totally wasn't. I mean, well, yes, emotional -- the good-bye tears stay really close these days. But being in the busy and the joy of a huge conference was distracting and friendship-affirming at the same time.

Nick (who was formerly an intern at our church and now lives a few hours away) was hired leadership for the conference, like Another Nathan last year, and seeing him up there leading energizers and being a warm face and smile to a thousand youth every morning was a super way to start our days. Hanging out with him all week was a really fun reunion.

Also, can I just say, sometimes things/people in life are not as awesome as nostalgia wants to convince you they are, but after a week of fast friendship last summer, and a year of emails/texting/calling, I have to say for the record: LIZ IS. She is as awesome and kind and funny and sassy as I remembered, and maybe gets me even more now than a year ago, and being friends with her is just... really good. Really really good. Great actually.

How does Montreat make her hair so very good, and mine so very very bad?

And sweet little Nathan loved Montreat this year as much as last. He insists that his favorite place there is the dining room (um, wuuut?) but actually didn't eat much this week -- all while being insistent that we eat every meal there, and crabby at the times we went into town for real food. (I don't even know.) But he loved the big auditorium, he loved getting ice cream at the Huck, and he loved creek hopping again (with Mark! who came to visit for an afternoon! after him traveling last week, and not crossing his path on our own way out of town, we missed him terribly).

Nathan loved his club/camp (he was a Peanut Butter this year! super cute), which met in the infamous Montreat barn. And he made new friends -- one of whom invited him to dinner during the week at his grandparents' Montreat house, one of whom will be coming to his birthday party here in Raleigh next weekend, and one of whom is the son of one of my childhood church friends, because sometimes this presby world is small and awesome.

He picked out a new Montreat hoodie at the gift shop that I could hardly keep him out of all week. He had fun playing with my mom (who came to visit one morning, and see how Montreat has changed since her own childhood). And he proclaimed the view of the inn (from the paddle-boats on the lake) to be "the most beautiful building in the whole world." So, yeah.

(Side note: because Nathan's feet didn't reach the paddles, and because Nick didn't want to steal little Nathan's front-seat ride, Another Nathan basically paddled all three of them around the lake for the better part of an hour. He was hot and tired from a workout when they came back to shore, while Nick and Nathan were all smiles and relaxation, and yeah -- I was amused.)

More pics:

Marky! At Montreat with us!

A thousand people playing with beach balls, nbd.

Someone leaves their phone on a pew, you steal it and take selfies. It's the law.
(That's Ann back there behind Nick. She is also delightful.)

This pic was really awkward like they were shaking hands with a giant check.
So I cropped it. But apparently am describing the pre-crop anyway?

My *awesome* small group #51!

Oh yes I did buy a Montreat TERVIS. I am not sorry.

Another Nathan was on the conference planning team and wore this
headset to call production on the keynote talk each morning.He wore it well, but there was much hair-messing angst.

My sweet boy before worship one night.

My most bestest friend, who makes Montreat even better.

So yeah, it was a week of reconnecting with old friends, making new ones, thinking and praying well, singing loudly, and hiding from the emotional weeks of real life that are now staring us down. And it was wonderful.

Almost Four

Four years ago today, I was sitting around wondering why my baby boy wasn't making his appearance on his due date, exactly on time, like I wanted him to.  Time was moving so slowly, and I wanted to speed it up.  I was so impatient.

But now?  I turned around three times fast, and that long-awaited baby has turned into this.

A big boy.  A kid.  And despite being nine months pregnant today too, I'm kind of wishing time would slow down just a bit.

Oh sweet newborn Nathan.  Where did the past four years go?  No more diapers, no more sippys, no more buckling you into car seats.  I didn't think your babyhood would go by so fast. Wow.  I'm glad being a big boy looks so good on you, buddy, or I'd be heartbroken.

Nathan is doing really well these days.  After several hard months (three was way harder in these parts than the supposed terrible twos, for the record), Nathan has settled into a mostly sunny chatterbox of a little boy who is wonderful to have around.

He's inquisitive.  He asks a million questions a day. Most frequently asked are why? (of course) and what's your favorite color? (which I think he asks just when he doesn't know what else to say).  Honestly we talk about favorite colors at least twelve times a day.  Sometimes it spirals into what's your not-favorite color?  To which I don't ever have a good answer.  I'm not even sure I understand the question.  (But to Nathan, the correct answer is clear.  Clear is everyone's not-favorite color.  In case you were curious.)  I know that questioning is a normal part of growing, but when the questions turn to argumentativeness, it drives me nuts.  You don't need to ask ten follow-up questions about everything, child!  But apparently he does.  And most of the time it's okay.  He's learning and he has a freakishly good memory, and there are worse efforts he could be using his words towards than inquisitiveness, for sure!

He's still a picky eater.  The boy loves him some carbs.  Bread, fruit, crackers, sandwiches cereal, bagels, etc.  Smoothies are probably his favorite food on the planet.  We convince him to eat protein in the form of yogurt, chicken with some coaxing, beef snuck into pasta sauces, and he still adores shrimp when we make the splurge.  Seriously Nathan?  What picky eater loves shrimp?  You are a strange child, my friend.

Playtime is an easy sell.  He loves his friend cars, his blocks, his legos, and his books.  He loves to color and draw and do stickers.  And this year we've finally started letting him watch tv regularly enough (a show or part of a movie, a couple of times a week) that he has his screen favorites: Sesame Street, Cars, The Little Mermaid, Thomas, and Tarzan (which scares him a bit since he has a weird fear/fascination of gorillas). He loves to be outside, and it takes some pretty terrible heat or pretty terrible cold to chase him indoors.  He's loving our new bigger more play-friendly yard, and lots of walks on the greenway nearby.  He also loves music, even though he's hesitant to sing in front of other people.  He can pick out even the faintest strains of Lady Gaga, and we get fussed at if we turn it down or change the station.  {sigh}

He's still learning to be social.  He plays pretty well on his own (like every day during naptime, which in his world is actually just "alone time") but would always choose time with Anneliese, if we give him the choice.  He plays really well with her, minus a few moments each day when he's not as inclined to sharing as she is.  With his other friends, he does great in small groups of two or three, but in big crowds or with new people, he still has a lot of social skills to work on (picture: standing in a room slack-jawed and drooling, and no that's not really an exaggeration).  We're hoping with lots of practice and a healthy dose of confidence, and maybe an extra year of kindergarten, he will be just fine, and will learn to show everyone the gregarious happy boy he is at home.

He's finicky.  I might have mentioned once or twice that he is extremely picky about how he likes things.  Which toys go in which places, which soap goes in which bathroom, which foods are for which meals, and oh good grief don't get me started on his wardrobe.  Certain outfits for certain moods, certain shirts for certain shorts, and only underwear that is "like Daddy's" could ever be good enough.  He doesn't like messes or spills or being very dirty.  He adores napkins. He is a creature of habit, to the point where disruptions in his normal routine or the order we do things can cause major chaos in our house.  I'm not sure how much of this is normal for preschoolers, or if he's got a few obsessions or compulsions we're up against (seriously, he wants things how he wants them), but it's nothing causing any real dysfunction in our lives, nothing we haven't been able to adjust to.  Flexible might not be his thing, but I kind of admire that he knows what he wants and isn't afraid to ask for it insist on it.  That being said, we're working on compromise every day, and we're learning more and more about how to better equip him for changes in the routine, or special events.  (Communication.  Lots and lots of heads-up communication.)

He is sweet and kind.  Honestly, Nathan seems empathetic beyond his years.  He constantly amazes us with his perception of other people's feelings, and his instincts to meet their needs and take care of them in response.  He is quite affectionate, rarely sparing a hug or a kiss or a tickle for people he loves.  He's a pleaser, and wants to make people happy and make them smile.  (This people-pleasing trend makes him a very good listener, behavior-wise, freakout moments aside.)  He's incredibly observant, noting and retaining even tiny details for months and sometimes years.  He's protective and he's a caretaker, very aware of what other people have going on in their lives and never failing to ask about it.  Any of his friends and grandparents and other relatives have examples of this, I'm sure.  I guess this is another reason Mark and I try to stay so tolerant of his inquisitiveness -- it's breeding an extremely kind soul.  He impresses me every day in regards to this, and I want to learn from him on how to be better about these things myself.

I love my baby boy more every day.  Here's to (almost!) another year with Nathan!

Second Year Slideshow

Today is the last day of Nathan's second year, so here are some of our favorite memories from the last twelve months. (Sorry for the less-than-ideal quality, we had to shrink the file a good bit to get it to upload.)

It's amazing that it's been another year. They say babies change the most in the first year, but we talked about it and decided that Nathan changed more this past year than his first year. He really went from a baby to a kid, as you can see.

This is the year you really fell in love with life...
And the year we really fell in love with you.
Again.



(To watch last year's slideshow of Nathan's first year of life, click here.)

Almost Two

A little interview with Nathan:


The word "almost" is of utmost importance here, because as we all know, Nathan is not two yet. Even though it's July 22, which means he should be two.

I was thinking that maybe after twelve more months had passed, I wouldn't still be carrying last year's due-date resentment. But.... no dice. I woke up thinking about it, and I'm thinking about it still. And I think about it every time Nathan tells me he's "almost two." Which... is a lot.

So today we went and had his two-month portraits made. And I cried (yes, at the portrait place) when I saw how much he looks like a big boy in all the shots. When I look at him in person, he still looks exactly the same as he always has, in a way (that's what happens when you see someone every day).... like my little baby boy. But now.... I mean, just look at him. He is officially not a baby. I don't think I could capture another "baby" picture of him if I tried. It's officially over. Welcome to childhood.

Although he favors Mark in most ways (so people say, I mostly just see Nathan), I am not-so-secretly pleased that he got my eyeballs. Gone are the baby blues of his infancy; now his eyes are grey with a yellow ring around the pupil (which makes them look fairly green at a glance), just like mine. I think Mark likes this too, he keeps mentioning it anyway.

Happy should-be birthday, sweetie Nathan! Only a few more days of being "almost two" to go!

When Toddler's Away, Parents Will Play (...or Work)

Nathan has spent the majority of this week with my friend Jenny (remember Jenny? friends since fifth grade) and her family in Greensboro. Mark and I both had extremely hectic work weeks, so this was our version of childcare.

It's been a mix of stressful and relaxing during Nathan's time away. I miss him like crazy. Being non-parents again, even for a short while (this is the first time we've done it in our own house), is kind of peaceful, though. It's annoying that we've both been working like crazy (Mark has 12-hour shifts, and I've put in 9-10 hour days which is double my scheduled norm) and haven't used the quiet time for something more fun, but... that's life. We did have a date tonight, which was an extremely good end to an extremely unpleasant day.

I've been thinking about little Nathan, and how he's doing with little Katie (Jenny's daughter, about six months younger than him). Besides a few post-nap breakdowns (that's his way, unfortunately), it sounds like he's doing just fine. If there's anyone who can handle two toddlers, it's Jenny, I know that much.

Thank goodness for facebook; I can see what they've been up to this week!

Nathan has learned to accessorize.

When they're older, they're going to kill us for making this picture public.

This picture is sweet but I'm mostly distracted by the fact that Nathan apparently had to accessorize his pajamas as well.

He looks so old in this picture! How did that happen in just three days?

We have missed you Nathan, and we'll be glad to see you tomorrow! We're glad you're having fun and seem to be embracing the idea of having a sister around to play with!

Brunch With Nathan and Simon

It has finally happened. That monumental moment in every toddler's life. The one parents dread but reluctantly submit to because we know there's really no avoiding it. Yesterday, Nathan ate dog food.

The latch on our dog food bin has been broken for a while (since before Nathan's time). It's sort of a miracle none of the beasts has figured out how to open it up until now, actually. But Nathan proved the worth of his human-over-canine brain when he did get it open, and I looked up from the den to see him and Simon sitting on the floor in the kitchen, crunching away on a mid-morning snack.

I realized too late that I should have gotten the camera or the video camera, that letting them stay at it for two more minutes wouldn't really hurt anything. But the "no that's naughty" side of me kicked in and I nipped it in the bud right then and lost the photo op.

But the whole thing did remind me (again) of what good buddies these two are. So I hunted through our family pictures and realized we have a plethora of Nathan and Simon. (Bowden seems to always be lurking somewhere off camera, far enough away that Nathan won't try to do anything dastardly like pet her or something.) And this little trip down memory lane made me smile. Hope it does you too.

Napping together - October 2007 (4 months)

Playing on the bed in the study - December 2007 (5 months)
An earlier version of brunching together - July 2008 (1 year)

Snoozing on a road trip - September 2008 (13 months)

Waiting for Daddy to come home - October 2008 (14 months)

And if you find any good deals on dog food bins with working latches, do let me know.

Deja Vu: Coming Home to Spring

Almost exactly one year ago, I wrote a post called Coming Home to Spring. Nathan had just been discharged from the hospital (for rapid and significant weight loss) - we went in during winter, and came out during summer.

This week, I had a similar weather experience. When I parked my car at the Charlotte airport last Wednesday morning, I had to drive over a fairly large mound of snow to get in the spot. When I came back on Sunday afternoon, it was like 80. Not even kidding. Gotta love the springtime in the Carolinas.

But besides the sudden and bewildering weather switch, and the lovely (not) smell of Bradford Pear blossoms in the air... I can't help but notice that our family is in such a different place now than we were a year ago today. (I get points for writing a Carrie Bradshaw sentence right there, did you like it?)

Last year Nathan was sick (or something), and we were scared and didn't know what was wrong. He was lying in a hospital bed (crib), trying to be a good sport but upset nonetheless. He had a catheter in his poor little boy parts. He had an IV in his head. He had been denied the boob so that doctors could get all scientific (I use that word with not even one ounce of respect) with breastmilk measuring. He was seven months old and didn't roll, sit up, bear any weight on his legs (ever), and was a skinny little thing weighing about what he had at three months.... had totally fallen off the weight chart. The process of fattening him up was emotionally exhausting for me -- the extent of which I wasn't fully aware of in that moment.

Nathan - March 2008

But now....

Oh man. He is walking, and running, and rolling, and crawling, and weighs more than the average kid his age. Besides the small amount of breastmilk he still gets, he asks for noodles and yogurt and oranges and cereal bars (cookies) and oatmeal, and occasionally even can be coaxed into eating meat and veggies.

Nathan - March 2009

I find myself feeling grateful to God that our calorie-counting days are over, that Nathan's delays are an ever-fading memory, and that a new season of healthiness is upon us.. this time, we're really coming home to spring. We're growing. And that's a good thing.

Northern Cali: Do and Don't List

I have come up with a list of things to do, and not to do, if you ever decide to take your toddler and mother to the coast of northern California.

DO follow everything on this list that my friend Kelley posted about flying with a toddler while pregnant.

DON'T get an outbound flight that leaves at 6am on an icy morning. Likewise, don't get a return flight that leaves from a major international airport at 5:45am on the one morning of the year when clocks are set forward by an hour. Your toddler will not thank you.

DO spend time exploring the beach and cliffs on the pacific - they're amazingly beautiful. Just remember to hold your child tightly if you hike down to wander on the beach. And don't let the warning sign making it sound like you will die if you hike scare you too much. Be careful, use your head, and you will be fine.

DON'T forget to bring an extra pair of pants, since children will sit in wet sand. And jeans and wet sand don't mix.

DO have a snack sitting on a giant bench overlooking the cliffs and beach. When else will you get to sit on a giant bench?

Yes, he's roaring back at the ocean.

DON'T think you're too good for a rental minivan. You're not. And you will be glad for the extra space. Plus, you will look really cool riding in the passenger seat up the pacific coast highway with your middle-aged mom driving and your baby in the back. (Don't you love how parenthood redefines "cool?")

DO let your child explore in the redwoods around the home you're visiting. They're magical even for adults, but to hear an excited child say "big tree" over and over again will give you an even better appreciation.

DON'T judge the Californians for their strange road signs. We don't need to know what they mean as long as they seem kind-hearted. This one does.

DO take a grandmother along. She's better than any toys on the plane, loves your baby even when he cries, isn't scared of diapers, rubs your back if you feel morning (or air-) sickness coming on, and seems genuinely happy to wake up at 4:30 in the morning when your son clearly missed the memo about California being on west-coast time.

DON'T take a walk on an unlit road in a redwood forest at 4:30 in the morning with an unleashed and unstrollered toddler. If you can't see your hand in front of your face, you can't see the baby. Only my mom would have to learn this from experience, I don't think many other people would even think to take a walk at 4:30 in the morning.

DO let your child play with the big stack of redwood boards left over from a deck-building project, though. He'll think they're special big blocks left there just for him.

DON'T talk on your cell phone in the stores. These small-town northern-california types don't appreciate it, and they're not afraid to let you know the guidelines before you enter. For some reason this reminds me of Luke from Gilmore Girls.

DO spend lots of time talking and visiting with rarely-seen relatives. They're fun, they're smart, they cook good food, and they have memories of family members passed on.

Nathan, Marmie, and Aunt Elaine

DON'T pretend to try to be a "good mommy" when your son throws a fit in the middle of the night and wants to play with a puzzle. Give him what he wants, you're a guest. And when he tires of the puzzle (haha yeah right) pull him into bed with you and don't think about how bad it is to sleep with your baby, just enjoy the rare cuddling and the sweet sounds and smells (again: haha yeah right) of having your child close. You can get back to a normal routine when you're home.

DO stop by Muir Woods, a national park just north of San Francisco, and enjoy the redwoods. They might not be as big (or drive-throughable) as some in the northern part of the state, but the park is gorgeous and accessible by stroller or even wheelchair. Plus, it will give you the chance to see how far your child can toddle before tuckering out. (For Nathan, it's close to a mile. Impressive, huh? He must get it from his grandmother, not me.) Bonus DO: if your mom has an internet friend who volunteers there, take her along! She might score you a good parking spot if you're paying attention (I wasn't). Another bonus DO: dress your kid in a witty t-shirt anytime you go to a national park, it makes him seem more precious and invites even more comments about the preciousness than normal. (And what blogging mommy doesn't love comments about how precious her child is?)

DON'T drive your 4-cylinder minivan with no pick-up through the hilly residential streets of San Francisco or the surrounding suburbs. The car can't handle it. If you find yourself in this situation, however... you should just laugh.

DO remember to have your camera accessible so you can take some pictures as your child takes his first ride across the Golden Gate Bridge. Maybe this should be a don't:
DON'T forget your camera, thus rendering yourself reliant on your mom's... wherever it might be packed.

DON'T let your son grab at your glasses on the plane. This should be a norm, but especially on a plane. He will break them, you will lose the tiny screw, and you will have to catch a shuttle to your car all but blind until you can locate the proper vehicle, get inside, and put your hands on your prescription sunglasses to drive back to the terminal where your mother is waiting with the luggage.

DON'T leave your mirror light on in the airport parking lot. Seriously, it will drain your car battery and you will have to ask a nice (but also tired, since he was returning to long-term parking as well) dad to help you push your car until it's accessible enough to give you a jump start. Maybe this should also be a do: DO pay for the nice man's parking.

DO come home and hug your husband, try to get your child back into a routine, snuggle with your puppies, and realize that even after a fun trip, it's nice to be home.

For more pictures of our trip, click here.

Ambidextrous?

Nathan has become quite proficient at eating with a spoon. It makes a huge mess, and it takes forever, but it's oh-so-cute.

We got him some curved spoons like the ones our friend Kiran had, which are supposed to make it easier for Nathan to get the food into his mouth once it's on the spoon. But as you can see by the way the handles are curved.... these spoons are only for righties. So these cute trendy spoons are not so useful in our house, because here's the thing...

When Nathan eats with a spoon, he uses his left hand. When he eats finger food, he uses his right.

How can we tell whether he'll be a righty or a lefty?

Other people have said to go by which hand/foot he uses to throw/kick (both right, usually). I have read that thumb-suckers tend to favor their dominant hand for soothing (again, usually right). We're trying very hard not to push him in either direction. (It might or might not be because Mark views ambidexterity as a huge asset in the world of professional sports.) But I'm still curious to see how he will turn out.

Playground!

We live in a very big neighborhood with a little park/playground in walking distance. It's a long walk. But it's walkable. When Nathan was littler, we would drive him over there to swing. But now that I am being more active, and he has an obsession with being outside all the time, we have been walking to the playground more to get some energy out.


It's so much more fun now that Nathan can climb (kind of) and slide and run around and follow the big kids and obsess over the car structure that he's convinced is a school bus. (It might be, I don't really know, but I'm not going to correct him because for some reason school buses make him really happy these days. Almost as happy as fish and big trucks.) He calls a school bus cool bus and he calls a slide lide. At least he's consistent.

Cool Bus!




Lide!