Weaned: A Milestone

Today I nursed Anneliese, and I decided it would be the last time.  I sat on the couch and held my long and lanky fifteen-month-old in my arms, and let myself pretend she was a tiny baby again, just for a little while.  She nursed for half an hour, interspersed with bursts of giggling and a few milky smiles, and then she popped her thumb in her mouth and cuddled with me even longer.

the last post-nursing snuggle

It was a sweet and snuggly and babyish moment.  And it's exactly how I want to remember our nursing relationship. So I'm ending it now.


Technically she's been on the wean for months, ever since we started dropping feedings and normalizing her nursing schedule last summer.  And since she turned one, that last feeding she's been holding onto hasn't even happened every day.  This morning is actually the first time she's wanted to nurse in four or five days.

Part of me would prefer that Anneliese made the final call on when we stopped for good.  But the smart and logical half of me knows it's perfectly okay for me to look at her declining interest (not to mention my ever-expanding womb!) and discern that it's time.

in the beginning... learning to nurse on her birth day :)

For two years our bodies have been connected.  Through pregnancy and infancy, Anneliese has been physically reliant on me for growth and nutrition.  And now we're moving to a new level of independence.  Permanently severing that connection is healthy and good, but also sad.  And weird.


I feel good that I didn't push her off before she was ready, I feel good that it's been (vampire milk aside) a wonderful breastfeeding relationship, and I feel good that we ended on a sweet and happy note, instead of a tearful power struggle (well, maybe it's too soon to rule that out, but I think it'll be okay).

A wise-without-knowing-it friend pointed out that weaning is such a milestone.  I hadn't thought about it like that before.  It sure makes it sound like something positive, a big next step for a growing girl, doesn't it?  So I'm trying to think about it that way, instead of being sad at the end of an era.

Anneliese's babyhood is slipping right through my fingers.  It's bittersweet.  Emphasis on the sweet?... I'm trying.