Daddy and Daughter

We don't have too many pictures of Mark and Anneliese together (besides the gorgeous shot of her lying in his palm, of course). Not sure if this is because I have been hogging her, or because Mark has been more on Nathan duty for the last month, or some combination of both.

But it's Mark's birthday today, and since I can;t get him what he really wants (a guaranteed Clemson win over South Carolina), I thought I would share a few of the bonding moments they've had thus far.

Last week I caught them "watching the game" together, and both of them were zonked out. I have no idea what game was on, but clearly it wasn't that important. Or interesting. (Now that I think about it, it might not have been a game at all, but one of the incredibly boring shows Mark tends to have on our dvr from NatGeo. Sorry, sweetie, but seriously -- an hour about how the sun is hot? Really? That's boring. I still love you though and happy birthday and all that.)

[Side note: See the pacifier in this picture? See how Anneliese has spit it out? She probably screamed with fury as she did it. We have been trying to encourage her to take it occasionally, since she does seem to need some non-nutritive sucking. But Anneliese hates the pacifier, and seems to think that we have done her some grave insult by suggesting that she suck on something plastic. She would rather have our fingers. Which is frustrating on several levels -- hard to keep them totally clean, probably terrible for her mouth and teeth-to-be, and it keeps our hands from doing something productive. She's taken the paci a few times, but only a few -- and we don't have high hopes for being able to fall back on it for soothing in the future. At this point we're just counting the weeks until she can get her own thumb in her mouth. Probably not better than the paci, but better than our fingers, that's for sure.]

Anneliese does look awfully content sleeping in his arms, though, doesn't she? She's happy because she knows she has a rockin' awesome dad who doesn't shy away from any parenting stuff like some most men do. And that he's really good at the parenting stuff, actually.

And that he loves her more every day.

Happy birthday, Daddy!

Black Friday Presents

So I know that the day after Thanksgiving is normally about shopping... if you're brave enough, that is. And I definitely am -- I was up and out of the house around 6:30am and I got a ton of my Christmas shopping done. Anneliese and I had a fun morning together and then we met Mark and Nathan for lunch afterwards.

BUT that actually isn't the most fun part of today. We got presents!!! I mean, technically we gave them to ourselves, but they're still presents, and they are things we have been looking forward to.

The first thing (and most exciting for me) is a quilt we commissioned my friend Megan to make for us. I had a stack of my favorite baby clothes from Nathan's infancy (the ones I couldn't bear to part with, or that weren't hand-me-downs to be handed back, and some that were too stained or worn to pass on to others), and I didn't quite know what to do with them. As cute as they were, I didn't think they'd ever get worn again, and they wouldn't even be seen just packed away into a box. So we had Megan make a quilt out of them. And I love the result! The quilt is gorgeous, and we had so much fun looking at all the details in each square. We loved seeing Nathan's first swimsuit, the pants he wore to Nick's wedding, the sweet tiny pocket from his first tiny pair of jeans, his first "favorite" pjs with the fire truck... and the "I climbed the great wall" t-shirt we bought him in China when he was still in the womb. Anyway, it's awesome. Megan, you rock. :)

[Edited: Megan wrote about how she made it and now I'm even more impressed. Apparently all those different fabrics and the zippers and such presented some unique challenges. She's crazy talented.]

The second thing (and most exciting for Mark) is our new tv!! We have been using a very old bubble-screen television (seriously, Mark watched the twin towers fall on that very set) and for several years Mark has really been pushing for a new one. This year, our budget and the electronics market finally were in agreement, and so we could afford the one he really wanted. So we bought it as Christmas/birthday presents for each other. And it came just in time for him to watch the Clemson vs. South Carolina game tomorrow (which also happens to be his birthday). I must admit it's a little (ok, a lot) larger than what I was imagining. But it makes him really happy, and even I have to admit it will be nice to finally see the whole screen for any show we're trying to watch, not just the part that was cropped for our non-widescreen tv. Of course he has already started watching football on it. Here are Anneliese and Simon enjoying some game in widescreen HD.Personally, I think I am more excited about the old dvr being temporarily moved to our bedroom until we've watched everything on it and can turn it back in. Yay for dvr in the bedroom! And YAY for Black Friday presents!!

Thankful

Mark and I have been talking about it a lot this week, and we've decided that we are incredibly thankful for the abundance of blessings in our lives.

We are thankful that God had a better idea on "family planning" than we did, and we got Anneliese.
...And we are thankful that little Anneliese sleeps so long at night.

We are thankful that in a year of lost jobs and pay cuts, Mark still has a secure job for which his compensation is enough that I could afford to walk away from mine when I needed to.

We are thankful for our church -- the fellowship, teaching, and spiritual growth it helps provide our family (including Nathan's preschool class where we shared our first Thanksgiving "feast" this year -- note the pumpkin muffin in his teeth), and the outreach and support it provides to our community and the world.

We are thankful for our puppies -- barking beasts though they may be -- and their constant loyalty and companionship. And that they're house-trained with very few accidents. :)

We are thankful that our children are warm and fed and have a roof over their heads -- which makes them better off than millions of other children around the globe.

We are thankful for beautiful Carolina weather, particularly this fall.

We are thankful for all SIX grandparents and the love they show our children. And yes, even the junk food and plethora of toys, because ultimately those are also gifts of love. Love and whininess, but mostly love.

We are thankful for music.

We are thankful that in a season of healthcare debate and change, and the worst flu in recent memory, everyone in our family is healthy. At the top of that list is a gratefulness for the current lack of hives!

We are thankful for inane conversations with Nathan, because all too soon they will start making sense, and then that will mean he's growing up really fast.

Also, we asked Nathan what he is thankful for, and he said trucks.
....And we are thankful that our son has passions of his own.

We are thankful for friends who love us and support us, and whom we can trust with our children when we need a night alone.

We are thankful for our marriage -- hard work, and so very worth it.

We are thankful for a faithful God who has made our little family possible. It's simple and it's not unique, but it's the best thing in our lives.

What are you thankful for?

Anneliese in Lake Wateree

We are in Lake Wateree for a pre-Thanksgiving visit, and to finally introduce Anneliese to her Opa and Oma. They had scheduled a trip to come through Raleigh shortly after her due date, but they missed her... you know, because she was six days late. (No, I will not let it go.)

This is also her first trip outside of North Carolina. I would have insisted on stopping and taking a picture at the state line but the kids were both sleeping (after another poopy adventure; they are never-ending these days) and the weather was cold and wet, plus the picture would have had this in the background anyway, so I decided not to push it.

They have a beautiful home by the lake, so this is always a lovely place to visit -- the scenery is great even when it's not boating weather. Opa took this picture of the sunset over their backyard and dock a few weeks ago -- proof that fall is just as spectacular as summer around here!

It's been fun seeing them with two grandchildren instead of just Nathan. But actually this season of two will be over almost as soon as it's started, since Nathan and Anneliese have a cousin due in the next few weeks -- exciting!

We have had a low-key visit, with lots of conversation and napping by the fire. (Yes, Anneliese is sleeping on a dog bed in this picture. Poor second child and all that.)

Nathan has been building lots of big towers and playing with cars, and this morning he went for a long walk with Oma. (Read: Mark and I got to sleep late and now love her at least 15% more than yesterday.)

Tonight we will have a big family dinner and then we'll head back to Raleigh all decked out in PJs for easy transfers between car seat and bed when we get home.


For more pictures of our visit to Lake Wateree, click on Opa and Anneliese, below.

by mgoetts

On the Road Again

I took both Nathan and Anneliese on a road trip this weekend... it was Anneliese's first trip outside Raleigh, and therefore the first road trip with two kids in tow... and I did it by myself.

I wasn't terribly worried, but I was a little nervous about how they would do together on the drive. I had visions of one crying when the other one was trying to sleep, for hours on end. And while Nathan did chatter the whole time Anneliese slept, and then Anneliese woke up and started crying right when Nathan dozed off, it actually still worked out ok. For the most part, they slept through each other's noise. So while the drive wasn't peaceful for me, at least I was only listening to one of them at a time! :)

I had some friends give me some hints for dealing with both of them in the car, and the one that seemed to work best was the book. Sometimes I give Nathan books in the car when I don't want him to sleep, but it also worked well for distracting him from his restlessness (I didn't want to stop for a break when Anneliese was sleeping for fear of waking her up).

I should have been much more worried about the other stuff than the car ride, though -- what to do if they both woke up at 4:30 am (they did), what to do if Anneliese decides Nathan's naptime is a great hour for yelling (she did), what to do if I finally master my dad's garage door but then forget the key to get into the inside of the house and Nathan misses his nap (I did, and he did), what to do if Anneliese poops so much that it leaks out the back of her diaper and covers her back and then starts draining down her arms (she did, and it did) and I have to show up at my aunt's house with a child so dirty she needs to be hosed down and then have to ask for a garbage bag to contain all the clothes and burp cloths and car seat padding she has soiled (I did). What do to if you forget the membrane for the breast pump (I did) so you can't make a bottle of milk which means you can't leave the baby with her grandmother while you and the big brother get your hair cut (I couldn't, but it worked out). You know, that kind of thing.

Looks like she has forgiven us for all the poop in her clean house. :)

But we all survived and we had a good trip. Anneliese slept in a laundry basket at my dad's (we only have one crib) but I didn't get any pictures, sadly. The room was kind of dark and it wasn't worth the risk of waking her up. I'm assuming she'll do it again at some point though. :)

Watching the Redskins game with Grandpa -- apparently she doesn't care as much as he does about who wins!

We're all still happy and healthy, and I am now that much more confident in handling the two of them together (it gets easier every day). Which is a good thing, because tomorrow we're packing up the car and hitting the road again, to see Opa and Oma down in South Carolina (Anneliese's first time out of the state!)... Here goes nothing.

For more pictures of our trip this weekend, including our visit with the Mauneys, click below on Nathan and me.

by mgoetts

Anneliese and Elise

We had a special treat today, to get to visit with our old (and new again) friends, the Mauneys. This year our families have rekindled a decade-old friendship, through the internet. (Yes, seriously.) There are so many parallels between us it's crazy. The most recent of these are our daughters, who are only two weeks apart (Anneliese came on Elise's due date!)... and in case you didn't notice, they have very similar names too. If you say Anneliese and Elise, it kind of sounds like you're just saying the same thing twice! :)

Well, Anneliese and Elise got to meet for the first time today. Ok, I guess technically they "met" when we went to the zoo a few months ago (click here for a picture of their baby bumps together, and please excuse the sweat -- we were eight months pregnant and it was August). I'd say the girls hit it off this morning, but I'm not even sure they noticed each other. But they both like milk, can you tell? Although our families were originally connected because Mark and I were friends with Steven in high school, now I especially love talking to his wife Betsy, and I'm glad we're getting to be friends in our own right, regardless of the husbands! It's not just that we're kind of in the same place in our lives right now, but also that Betsy is kind and funny and oh-so-smart, and who doesn't want people like that around? A wise soul who can make me laugh? Yes please.

So our daughters are two weeks apart, but also their son Isaac is only three months younger than Nathan. Which means both girls have big brothers to take care of them. ...Or sit on each other, whatever. :) Isaac and Nathan had fun playing together and talking together (as only two-year-olds can), and it was especially nice because today is Isaac's birthday! He turned two, and I was so flattered that my kids and I got to share in his celebration day. We also went out for a birthday lunch with all four children. Which was less of an adventure than it sounds -- the girls slept in their car seats pretty much the whole time we were there.For more pictures of our day with the Mauneys, click on Nathan, Isaac and Steven, below.

by mgoetts

Big Brother Update

A lot of people have been asking how Nathan is doing at home and with Anneliese, and the answer is... pretty great, actually. Things aren't perfect, but honestly as far as the sibling relationship goes, it's a lot better than we thought it would/could be.

I am dying to know what Anneliese is thinking about Nathan in this picture. :)

Nathan loves Anneliese, and has completely adjusted to the idea that she is here to stay. He has never once told us he is all done with her, or wants her to go away, or anything like that. He actually asks for her when she's not in the room, just like he does with Mark or me or other people he likes (he's like some kind of herding dog; he likes to know where everyone is at all times). He's good about sharing with her (even though she doesn't care), reading to her, and talking to her.

When she cries, he kisses her to make it feel better. He's constantly asking, hug her? or kiss her? or hold her? And if for some reason he thinks we might not have noticed that she's upset (like that's even possible -- she clearly got her lungs from her Aunt Ashley), he'll say, Anneliese is crying. Anneliese is crying. Anneliese is crying, until we answer him. Thank you, Captain Obvious.

That's not to say there have been no hiccups:

--- He had a couple of night wakeups in the first few weeks. I sort of chalked that up to more activity in the house in the middle of the night, not actual regression or attention-seeking (he settled himself back down each time without parental involvement).

--- He also had a higher-than-average number of tantrums in those first weeks. I'm not sure if it was a plea for attention, or just a result of having Daddy at home more (he's more likely to have tantrums with Mark than with me; I think he's still learning it doesn't work on Daddy either). We treated it as a plea for attention, and became hyper-vigilant about ignoring the whining and crying, and praising the big-boy moments, so he'd learn to rely on those for attention instead. And he rose to the occasion in a matter of days. Again, a relatively small problem that sorted itself out very quickly.

--- He was frustrated this week when I told him he couldn't wear his PJs to the airport, and I couldn't figure out why he was making such a big deal about it. Then he said Anneliese is wearing PJs! And I realized that my double standard for who gets to wear what, was confusing him. So I agreed with him, put a shirt and pants on the baby, and he seemed much less troubled. We're learning as we go how to deal with the whole fair vs equal thing between siblings. Since fair doesn't always mean equal, it can get tricky, but I decided in this case equal standards for clothes on an outing was a reasonable request. :)

Sharing his favorite racecar with Anneliese!

--- Nathan asked to hug Anneliese yesterday when she was sleeping and I said no, but he tried anyway. When I gave him a warning (do you need to go to time-out?) he responded no. But then he hugged her and woke her up, so I walked him over to the time-out corner. And he cried and said no thank you, no thank you. As if the reason he was in time out was that he didn't answer politely enough to his warning. Which is a helpful reminder to Mark and me that everything in his mind isn't about (or in response to) Anneliese. Sometimes it's still just a toddler, figuring things out, without regard to a sibling.It's fun seeing Nathan as our oldest instead of only. It's neat to see him growing up and growing into his new role in the family. I hope he continues to be this protective of Anneliese as she grows up.

A Glimpse of a Smile

I'd like to tally up the people Anneliese has smiled at so far: Mark, our family physician, Eric, Nathan's preschool teacher, and (this morning at my post-partum checkup) my obstetrician and a stranger in the waiting room. Note one very important person who is not on this list: yours truly.

Really, Anneliese? Really? I think I deserve a smile more than everyone else on that list -- though Mark and the OB (the same one who delivered her) are close contenders, to be fair. I mean, I feed you everything you need to eat at all hours of the day and night (and bled out of my breasts for you), I carried you for 41 weeks, and you pooped in me. (Oh yeah, I said it. It's not too early to play that card.) Come on, sweetie, smile at me!!!

The closest I have gotten to a smile is this video I got last night. Note: she is smiling at the animals over her head, not the mommy with the camera. But still, I'll take it.

(Like Nathan before her, we have to resort to video because she is too quick to get the still shot. It's actually a fluke that I got a smile in this video, and only right as I was stopping the recording.)

[Edit, several hours after posting... I just went back and watched Nathan's smile video (the link above), and wow do they look alike after all! Who knew?]

Anneliese, that little smile is absolutely gorgeous and I can't wait until it's a huge grin. And directed at me. :)

More Furman Friends

As if an evening with Betsy and Emily early last week wasn't enough, we got to see even more Furman friends this weekend.

First, Sarah and her love Eric came in late on Friday night and spent all day yesterday with us, and (as usual) it was awesome to see Sarah with the kids. I absolutely cannot wait for her to be a mom. I like having her around as a sounding board for parenting stuff since she knows so much more about it than most people (definitely more than I do anyway). Not just what "the books" say, but what actually works. (She has so much experience with preschoolers that it kind of boggles the mind.)

Plus, Sarah is pretty much my favorite person this weekend because yesterday morning, after that awful night with our darling daughter, she got up early to hang out with Nathan so I could sleep for an hour. And let the record show that she had an upset tummy and hadn't slept much the night before either. And that she hopped out of bed so fast and so ready to help that she didn't manage to get her glasses upstairs and out of the guest room. So not only was she taking care of Nathan in the early morning hours on a Saturday, with an upset tummy, on her vacation from childcare, she was doing it half-blind. Rock star? Um, yes.

Then this morning we all had brunch with Katie and Noah at their house in Durham. Of course Katie made an awesome (vegetarian!) breakfast casserole for which I will share the recipe as soon as I can put my hands on it.

I think Nathan was expecting different people (Jenny's daughter Katie and biblical Noah), but to his credit he still seemed excited to see them. And he only mentioned the ark once. :)

He actually played for a long time with them (with a cat toy, even though - gasp - there were matchbox cars in the vicinity) and completely wore himself out.

Katie held Anneliese with much more confidence than her first meeting with Nathan! Anneliese even fell asleep cuddled into Katie's chest before we left, and I hated to separate them because it looked so darned sweet.

For even more sweet pictures of our weekend, click on Sarah with both kids, below.

by mgoetts

Going to be a Mommy!

It's getting late, and Anneliese is having an awful time settling down. She did this last night too: it was Mark's first night shift back at work (and therefore my first night knowing I can't go get him if I need him), and she actually barely slept at all; I think she is trying to make a liar out of me for telling the internet she's an angel sleeper. I am actually fairly certain that I have given her this cold thing that I have (certainly not the flu; our family has been vaccinated against any kind for which there is a vaccine available!) so while I am trying not to fault her for keeping me awake, especially considering I don't think she feels well either, the reality is that I am tired and would like to go to bed. But... still she cries, in my lap.

So here we are. As I was thinking that this is just part of parenting (and that I can handle a few hard nights when most nights are okay), I remembered that it was actually three years ago today that I found out I was going to be a parent. And that's a good thing to think about -- a happy memory -- as I work through these rough hours with Anneliese.

I don't remember now why I was optimistic enough to take a pregnancy test before I was really late. I actually don't remember now why I took the pregnancy test at all, since although we were definitely trying to get pregnant, we thought we had missed the window that month due to my swim in St. Croix. But I did take the pregnancy test. And it was positive. And I smiled. In fact, I'm pretty sure I grinned for the whole day.

I remember googling pregnancy stuff and due date calculators on my computer at work and trying not to act different in front of my colleagues, but of course I was incredibly distracted and I'm sure they wondered if something was up.

I remember I had to get through the whole day before I could say it out loud -- I wanted to tell Mark first, and I wasn't going to see him until that night. After work I went to the bookstore and bought a big (and useless, it turns out) book of baby names. After Disciple class I wrapped the book up and bought Mark a caramel apple cider (his favorite Starbucks holiday beverage; I can never taste one now without remembering that night) and told him I had something for him. I gave him the present and the drink, and I asked him if he had plans for late July.

When he saw it was a book, he looked at me warily and rolled his eyes and said something to the effect of, "why, what kind of trip do you want to go on?" Yep, that's right. I was trying to tell him we were having a baby and he thought I was trying to get him to go on vacation. Which either says something about how many trips we take, or my love for travel books, or both. But when he saw that the book actually wasn't a travel guide of any kind but a baby-name book, he figured it out. And then he was oh so happy and he hugged me and then he couldn't stop grinning.

April 26, 2007 - about six months pregnant

And then that turned into Nathan, who is pretty much the best thing ever. Not that I am playing favorites with my kids, but when one child is sleeping silently and filling my mind with fun memories, and the other is screaming at me for the second night in a row... well, you do the math. :)

Tonight I'm thinking happy thoughts on Nathan.