Last night I was all ready to climb in bed bed except there were people outside. Not really doing anything, or anything wrong, I guess, but... out there. And loud. Yelling or talking or joking or fighting, I couldn't tell. And I mostly ignored it but then they sounded so close so I looked out the window and they were in my yard. (I think they came from next door.) (We have a local quasi-celebrity now living next door. So far it is not my favorite.)
Anyway normally I like to pretend like I am full of bravado or something, but I am not, really. And I was home alone and I felt nervous. Too nervous to even just open the door and tell them to get off my lawn (also I would like to think I am about forty years too young to say such a thing). So I let it go a few more minutes hoping they would go away, and they didn't, and then they were on my porch and being so loud and saying something about the pool and oh lord, I just couldn't deal (also! they woke up my babies!) and I should have been more angry or indignant or fighty or something, but I was just... nervous.
So I called the police. Apparently that is a thing I do.
And the cops came and (I guess) chased them off and didn't need ring my doorbell for a report or anything (I guess), and then it was over. Except I laid around in bed all night paranoid they would come back and be pissed that I had called the police, and like... get me.
Why am I scared of people? What is going on with me? (Or with the world?) I was so nervous!
(Also part of the reason I was lying there sleepless because Anneliese was in my bed and even after her fear had subsided, she was very very awake.)
So I slept maaaaaaaybe an hour or two all night and then got up for church and took a cold shower because of course something was going wrong with the hot water heater after a long miserable tired scary night of course it was.
And then church was a little bit womp-womp, in that two hard-ish things happened (I don't want to be too church venty, but here is the bare bones of it):
1- The youth choir I help with sang in worship and it was smooth enough I guess, kind of, but took no small amount of teeth-pulling, and I just feel very over nagging teenagers these days, which probably isn't fair because some of them are perfectly wonderful responsible commitment-keeping people, but some of them are harder, and that is where I am with teenagers right now.
2- Without being too specific (I hope this isn't cryptic and annoying; I want to say it, but I don't want to say it) I heard people saying hard things about this one faltering group at church, and it turns out some of their solution slash complaints (if there were ever a people full of complaints pretending to be solutions, it is a Certain Type of Church Lady) directly involved me, personally.
And then I got home from church and p-neu Charlotte coughed, like p-neu babies are wont to do, but with a bite of waffle in her mouth, and suddenly WHOA WHOA CHOKING. I was panicking and hand-flapping and trying to remember whether to heimlich her from behind or by thumps on the back (which is it? she just turned two! I should know these things!) when she vomited everywhere and then rejected my tearful snuggles in favor of finishing her waffle while pointing at the mess. Mess! Mommy! Mess! Yeah kid, you yarf in the high chair right after giving mommy an almost-heart-event, the mess is going to be a mess.
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| You know that thing where you use the front camera to see if your baby is sleeping? Her pneumonia makes me do a lot of that. |
And also it is suddenly cold outside which makes moving and getting things done feel so slow and hard for me. (It's like 50 something. I know it's not that bad. But it is enough to make me feel slow.)
I want to write about how I also have Feelings remembering the weird and terrible fall after Charlotte was born, and how carrying those memories makes me feel heavy and I wish I didn't have them, but I just... right now... decided I am tired of writing about blah things, so this post is about to turn around:
Marky pulled in the driveway home from his road trip at just the right time and hugged me and hugged Charlotte and was properly indignant at the beer bottles he found in the front yard from the visitors last night, and sometimes husbands are just the best.
4 comments:
1. You have every right to tell them to get off your lawn. I don't care how old you are or how lame it makes you seem. It's YOUR property and they do NOT belong there (swimming, drinking, talking, or whatever) unless you specifically invite them to be there. I don't care how quasi-famous they are, NO ONE has the right to disturb your security and your kids' sleep. This mama bear is ROARING for you.
2. You absolutely did the right thing by calling the police.
3. I'm sorry you had such a rough weekend but I'm glad you have Mark to make you feel better!
Love you!
Totally agree with what Ashley said (not that my opinion matters!) That was wrong on many levels for those people to be on your porch!! And what kind of people do that, and then consider getting into a stranger's pool? That's crappy.
Oh I completely agree, they were in the wrong and it was totally inappropriate and not okay. I was just surprised to find myself calling the police without just telling them to leave myself. Normally I kind of secretly love confrontation. But that night I was nervous of bad guys and guns and who knows what. Weird for me. Eh it's over now.
Sorry about the bad/scary guys.. and yeah, when you're alone with kids in the house, you call the PO-LICE. (Southern redneck pronunciation with accent on first syllable.)
I'm also sorry about the convo you heard. I know I wasn't a part of it... wasn't even there... and I know we should just consider the source, but one of these days, my Christian kindness is going to be overtaken by my need to tell her off, and it's gonna happen. You'll know when it does. Fire and smoke will probably be involved.
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